It was so far removed from the rest of
the world, where I could breathe, and
think. He hadn’t asked too many
questions since we had been together,
yet I had a feeling they were coming. No
sooner had the thought crossed my mind
when he asked the first one.
“Have you fallen in love since
me?” His hands skimmed the surface of
the bubbling water across the vapor
mist. I didn’t want to lie to him; he
would know it. I would never deny
Shepard anyway.
“Yes, once. A few years back. My
boss was murdered and my neighbor
noticed I was going downhill. He took
care of me. Even before that, he was
taking care of me; I just never really
thought too much about it.”
I looked into the sky once more, my
mind drifting to another place in time.
For some reason, Connor needed to
know why, because he kept pressing.
“What happened?”
I closed my eyes. This memory
pained me deeply. Although I thought of
it often, I had not spoken of it since it
happened. With a deep breath, I readied
myself to relive the events that shaped
my life as I presently knew it.
“We went away for a week. It was
perfect. He went to school in Tennessee
and I was working for the University of
Cincinnati. A few days after he went
back, his dad came to my house drunk.
He tried to make a pass at me and I
refused; he got angry and beat the shit
out of me. I woke up in the hospital with
a few broken ribs and a cracked skull.
Shepard wasn’t allowed to see me. Just
before the trial, his old man killed
himself and I lost my job. I was told not
to talk to him, and then his family
blamed me and filed a lawsuit. I never
fought, even though I knew it was wrong,
because I thought it was best. He
deserved something better than me.” I
sunk into the water so it rested just
beneath my nose and watched Connor
for his response.
He just looked at me with pity and
stopped at the scar on my temple.
“Damn, Violet, I’m sorry. I wondered
how you got that scar; I didn’t remember
it.” His fingers traced the faint white line
along my scalp.
“You haven’t talked to him since?
He never got a say?” He started to make
me nervous with the sudden concern
over Shepard.
“It’s complicated, but it doesn’t
matter anymore. It’s been over a long
time; it’s done.” He shook his head and
tilted it back.
“I just can’t imagine someone
letting you go that easily. I know I
couldn’t.”
Nothing more was said about
Shepard, or much of anything. We both
got out and crawled into bed, tangled
close against each other. Once again, the
vivid dreams I had managed to escape
this week came pouring back in. I would
awake with a start, then lay back and
stare at the ceiling, trying to fall asleep
again.
How was it I could be lying next to
Connor, but my mind was on someone
else? I wrapped myself in a blanket and
stepped back onto the deck. Looking
below, the pools were now empty, so I
slowly trekked down the path leading
towards them. The world was quiet and
still as my feet touched the warm water.
Being a little further away, it was not
quite as hot as above where our cabins
were, but it was still nice. I tossed my
robe onto a chair and grabbed a foam
noodle to rest my head on. Drifting out
into the middle of the pool, the near
pitch black of night blanketed me in
peace as I gazed at the stars. Not a sound
was made beyond the cold breeze
blowing through the mountains. The
wind howled against my ears and I could
feel my hair turning into icicles.
I focused on the brightest star, and
like a child, made a wish.
Wherever you are, Shepard, I hope
that you are happy and loved. I am so
sorry for everything. I didn’t know what
else to do. If you had any idea what was
really happening, you might understand
and even forgive me. If you can see this
star, too, maybe you will sense the truth
and know I loved you with everything in
me.
My wish sounded more like a
prayer. I did hope he was happy and
loved. He, of all people in the world,
deserved that. I knew our paths would
never cross again, so I could only
believe he was. I released him to the
universe and made room in my heart
once more for Connor. Just then, a small
star grazed across the sky, ever so
briefly. He had done his best this week
to prove he had changed and that
everything we had gone through before
the bullshit garnered a second chance. I
pulled the robe around me and headed
back up to our cabin. Connor wasn’t
sleeping when I opened the door; a small
light bathed the room in a soft yellow
glow.
“Where did you go? You were gone
for a while.”
I smiled and crawled into his arms
to warm up again. “I went down to the
pools to float for a bit and think.”
He pulled me back against his chest
and kissed my neck softly. “Did you
decide anything while you were down
there?” He sounded hopeful; I could feel
him holding his breath, waiting for my
answer.
“Yes, I did. Let’s talk, okay?”
Flipping around to face him, I
cradled the sides of his head and pulled
him into a kiss. Just to give him an
indication it was a good talk, I raised my
thigh over his hip and used my heel
against his bottom to draw him closer.
The action caused him to growl with
pleasure.
“I like where this is going…” His
hands reached into my still chilled hair
and smoothed it away from my face.
“I hope so, Connor.”
For a long time that evening, and
into the next day, we conversed about
the future. I didn’t know what was going
to happen, but it was worth a shot. God
knew I had been lonely for so long, and
here was something where I knew I
could at least predict the outcome and
have the most control. Or so it would
seem…
Chapter 26 -
Severed
My week here in Colorado passed
far too quickly. Despite my world
turning upside down, I was not leaving
with the feeling of dread I was
anticipating. The launch went off without
a hitch and was the success everyone
banked on. Connor had negotiated an
offer with the bank and the estate would
be settled within the next sixty days. My
family had all but dissipated after the
funeral, especially when Connor offered
to buy out the mortgage.
Everything seemed so surreal.
Although I lost one of the most important
people in my world, another one was
given back. I had been so angry with
him, I had forgotten anything good that
had
happened
between
us.
His
unwavering support during this week
was nothing short of a miracle. I
continued to watch the monitors in the
terminal, waiting to see when we would
be cleared for take-off. Another nasty
storm was coming in from the west,
which had screwed up the flight patterns.
More than two hours had passed
since he dropped me off, kissing me so
hard my lips were still swollen. I grazed
my thumb across the tender spots along
the bottom, knowing all too soon, they
would be gone. I shook my head from
trying to comprehend everything that
happened since the short time I had
arrived; it was more than I could handle.
Just then, the black bar started to flash
on the screen next to the gate.
“Cancelled, I knew it.” I blew out a
deep breath and grabbed my bag. Since I
had checked the other, it would be
waiting for the next flight. I knew that all
the other flights were not far behind, and
I debated whether or not to call Connor
and tell him; perhaps he was watching
the status updates or the news. I headed
straight for the rental counter before they
made the announcement. Using my phone
to hold a reservation, it was waiting for
me when I arrived. He didn’t live
terribly far from the airport; I would
have enough time before the snow really
started to fly. I pulled out from the
parking lot, glowing in the thought of
snuggling in front of a fire, drinking wine
and getting my brains screwed out until
dawn.
With some careful maneuvering on
the slick spots, I arrived just after dark. I
could see the first round of large white
flakes floating peacefully to the ground,
dusting the roads like powdered sugar. I
closed my eyes to catch a few on my
tongue as the street lights gave the
avenue an ethereal glow. He told me the
bottom door was rarely locked before he
went to sleep, which would make the
surprise that much better.
I checked my hair and makeup
before stepping out of the rental SUV. I
don’t know why I cared; it would be
smeared on his sheets in a few minutes. I
stopped and blushed at my inner
thoughts; life without sex has a tendency
to do that to people. Taking a quick
moment to compose myself, I walked
slowly up the flight of stairs, so I did not
make too much noise. The old wooden
steps were terribly creaky and would be
a dead giveaway. I began to hear music
the closer I got – something mellow with
banjos and guitars.
My knuckles were about to rap on
the door when I heard it. It was the
distinct sound of a woman squealing in
pleasure, as if being chased or tickled. I
tried to stop my heart from ripping out of
my chest, drawing upon the ridiculous
pep talks I used to keep me from
completely freaking out. I placed my
palm against the door to give my
forehead a second to rest and compile
my emotions.
Was there any benefit of the doubt
in my mind? I would not walk away
from here without knowing what was
behind that door. Could the son of a
bitch really do this to me twice? I felt
the cracks in my soul start to widen each
time I knocked on the slab of polished
walnut. A moment later, I heard the
metal chain on the lock slide and the
door separate from the frame. She didn’t
see the horror on my face once I
recognized who she was. It was Kinzey,
or Reese, should I say…
The smile she held so brightly
vanished once she laid eyes on me.
“Starla,” she said quietly.
Right after she spoke, I watched a
hand reach around her waist, stroking
her stomach playfully as his mouth
nuzzled her neck with gentle nips. She
squirmed to get away from him.
“What’s wrong, baby? Who is it?”
Finally looking up himself to see
who had interrupted them, he rapidly
peeled away from Reese as if she were
kryptonite. I turned in one swift motion
back towards the stairs. Connor leaped
out of the entryway to stop me. Stepping
in front of me, he used his body and arms
to keep me from walking any further. I
could hear the panicked sounds coming
out of Reese who was still standing by
the door.
“Violet, wait, don’t leave,” he
growled.
My head was still lowered, looking
at the floor beneath me. The venom was
diffusing back into my blood stream,
starting once again with my tongue.
“I am not really into three-ways, so
I think I’ll pass.”
The cold air in the hallway had
grown
thick
with
tension.
The
claustrophobic feeling was starting to
surround me like a glove. I heard
footsteps behind me as Reese started to
make her way past us.
I replied sinisterly, “See you took