Love Survives (13 page)

Kat took control of the situation. She began rocking her body against mine, torturing me until I broke down and entered her. Being a man, it was hard to find something that could break me. I’d like to think I was tough, although I knew my weakness far too well. The moment I slid inside of those tight walls I could sense my body becoming vulnerable. She was giving off vibes, divulging on her own rapture, while I fought to stay composed. With every touch, each kiss, and all of our movements, we were discovering each other, perhaps for the first time in many ways. What I couldn’t understand was how in sync we were. This wasn’t like feeling someone out for their special spots. Both Kat and I knew exactly where to touch, tease, and pleasure. In this moment we were simultaneously reaching euphoria.

Then I lost myself, utterly and completely. My teeth clamped onto her shoulder as I climaxed. I couldn’t move, breathe, or rationalize with what was happening to me, while I was overcome by waves of gratifying pleasure.

Sweaty, panting for air, and never wanting to move, I looked into her eyes, finally accepting that she was mine. There was so much we’d need to talk about, but in this instance it was just us.

“Don’t stop, Brooks.” It was the first words she’d spoken since this started and hearing them caused me to get carried away again. I did my best to oblige, taking her to the highest peaks.

As we both began to come down from our perpetual bliss, I press my lips against hers, pulling away to express my gratitude. “I love you so much.”

She reached one hand up and ran it through my hair. I couldn’t stop. My body rocked over hers again while we watched each other breaking free of all our fears. Our high took us to new places while we remained connected. Never in my life had I ever climaxed twice, but as I filled her with pent up years of heartache, I knew it was possible. This was the utmost perfect moment of my entire life. We both lay there, connected and trembling. I held her tightly, stroking her hair, and remaining high on life. It was as if nothing could take this moment away from me. I had everything I wanted in life, I just needed to make sure I could keep it.

We stayed up until the sun started to rise, making love, and satiating our desires, until there was nothing left but exhaustion. I felt whole, and with that came a sense of worry. I was concerned how we’d escape together, and more so how it would all play out once our secret was revealed.

Kat abruptly began crying, and it broke my heart. I knew she had a lot on her plate, but I longed for her to share in this happiness for as long as possible. I wanted to distract her so she didn’t have to be concerned, not yet.

I wiped away her tears on either side of her face. “Please don’t do that.”

“I can’t help it,” she sobbed. “It was a mistake. It was all a mistake.”

I quickly sat up and looked at her like she’d driven a dagger through my heart. “Us? This?”

“No. Branch. Being with him was a mistake and if I’d just admitted that a long time ago, I wouldn’t have to say goodbye to you.”

My eyes began to burn. She wasn’t going to let him go. “What are you saying, Kat? Are you still marrying my brother today?”

“No. I can’t marry Branch. I couldn’t live with myself and how I feel about you. He deserves to be with someone that isn’t hiding the fact that they’re in love with someone else. I know it doesn’t make what we did any better, but he should have known this would happen, eventually. I mean, did he really think this would never happen? Is this why he kept us apart? Did he do this to us, Brooks?”

I straightened my grimace and bit my tongue. In all honesty I wanted to explode with frustration. This wasn’t how I saw this all playing out. “I’m sorry, but all I heard from that was you saying we couldn’t be together.”

“You know it isn’t possible. What we did will destroy the family.”

“Last night was the best night of my life. I won’t regret it, and I won’t let you walk away from this. I’m tired of letting him have you. He doesn’t deserve you. I deserve you, Kat. You’ve always been mine and you know it. How could you lay there saying you can’t be with me?” The brutal truth was tearing me apart, piece by piece.

Kat shook her head and cried harder as if she knew what this was doing to me. “I’m sorry. I can’t look at your parents knowing what I’ve done. All these people are here to see me marry your brother and I’m in bed with you.”

“I don’t give a fuck who’s here.” Wasn’t it obvious?

“Brooks, please don’t get angry.”

It was entirely too late for that. I was livid, beyond being able to rationalize. I stood and started walking around the room, desperate to find a solution. “Do you know how long I’ve waited for this to happen? Kat, wake up! I want you. How people feel about it doesn’t matter to me. I don’t give a shit about anyone else. You’re all that matters.”

Just as she opened her mouth to respond we heard someone knocking on the door. I had a terrible feeling in the pit of stomach, but said nothing as I pulled on a pair of boxers and headed to answer it. I was prepared to face whoever was on the other side, so long as when they left, she’d still be in my bed, waiting for me to help her figure everything out.

Chapter 15

“Where is she?”
It was Branch, and he wasn’t happy. Before I was able to prevent it, he came ambling into the room, discovering exactly what he was looking for.

I didn’t know how he’d react. I mean, I knew he was destroyed, and probably irrational, but I couldn’t predict how he’d treat her. “Branch, don’t hurt her. It was my idea. I made her do it,” I lied. I wanted Kat to be safe. I’d say or do anything for that reason.

While I stood behind him, Branch peered down at Kat. His eyes were glossed over, and it was obvious he was about to explode with animosity. She wouldn’t be able to rationalize with him because he was beyond the point of being able to accept the truth. “The night before our wedding, Katy? How could you do this to me?”

I refused to let her answer his question. “You did this, bro. You kept her from me for all these years. I told her everything. She knows you kept us apart to have her for yourself.”

Branch turned around and shoved me against the other bed. “Get the fuck out of my face, Brooks.”

I jumped up and got right up in his face, challenging him to push me a second time. Kat climbed off the bed and threw herself between us as if that would prevent a war.

Her naked body was like a beacon, and I could tell it only fueled his need to decapitate me.  “Please don’t do this. We all need to talk this through,” she was pleading, while new tears trickled from her eyes.

When my brother reached forward, taking her by the neck something snapped. I refused to allow him to put a hand on her even if I had to take him down the way I’d been trained to do. I threw him away from her with one hand. “If you ever touch her like that again, I’ll kill you.”

While I anticipated my next stroke, by keeping my grip fastened to his neck,  I felt her gentle hands grabbing me from behind, as if she was begging me to stop. Then I heard her reiterate. “Please, don’t do this.” I felt my body relaxing, giving in to her request as if she had magical calming powers. Kat spoke from behind me, making sure it was loud enough for both of us to hear. “Branch, we need to talk.”

“Bullshit. You need to get dressed and go get ready. This shit never happened, do you hear me?” I couldn’t believe my ears. Was he really going to let this go? Did he not see that we’d spent the night together? What could he possibly do to rid himself of the image of walking in and finding us together? Then it hit me. He didn’t care about what she’d done as long as I didn’t get to be with her. It made the bile rise to my throat. He was the epitome of desperate.

Kat refused to let him win this battle. “No! I’m not marrying you. I can’t. I don’t love you like you need me to. I’ve never loved you like I love him, and you’ve always known it, haven’t you? Why did you tell me he never wanted me? How could you do that to your own brother, and to me?”

Branch pushed me out of the way to be facing Kat. She put her finger up to make me wait for a second. I could tell she was prepared for whatever he was about to do or say, in her own way showing me that she could be strong and fight for what she cared about.

Branch responded, spitting as his spoke with such aggression. “Are you really going to bring up shit from when we were teenagers to justify you fucking my brother the night before our wedding? I should have known you’d whore yourself out to him. You always did want things that were beneath you.”

Like slow motion, I watched her hand slap against his cheek. “Get out! Get out of my face!”

He grabbed her arms, and I’d finally seen enough. I placed my hand on my brother’s back. “Let go of her, Branch.”

“Screw you. You two make me sick. If I never see you again it will be too soon. Get your shit out of my apartment before I get home, Katy. After I’m done telling my parents about the two of you, I’ll be the only child that this family has. You just ruined your lives. I hope that pussy was worth it.” The last part was for me. Though I didn’t intentionally set out to hurt my brother, I knew in his own way he was hurting, but I couldn’t feel sorry for him, not when I knew he’d done everything in his power to keep us apart. All this time he’d known that we were in love with each other, yet he fed us lies to prevent us from being happy together. Even jealousy wouldn’t make me do that to my own brother. I didn’t have that kind of deceit in me.

I hit my brother, sending him falling down to the floor. Then I lifted him by the collar of his shirt and shoved him outside of my door. When it was shut, I turned to see her collapsing on the floor, struggling to breathe. She was fighting to control her emotions, and I didn’t know how to soothe her.

When she looked at me I saw what I feared the most. This couldn’t be happening. Kat was about to push me away. I may have been away for a long time, but I knew her every expression. Her conflicted mind wasn’t going to allow her to be happy, not even if it broke her into a million pieces.

She started dressing before I could come up with something logical to say. I approached her, feeling as if I was losing everything I’d gained. “What are you doing? You don’t have to leave. We can do this together. Did you think I’d expect you to face them by yourself?” I couldn’t let her leave me. It wasn’t an option. We hadn’t just made love, I’d given her all that I had left. She’d brought me to life, only to shock me back to death. This was unbearably hard to watch.

“I need to get my bag out of my room before they all come looking to kill me. I’ll be right back, I promise. You don’t have to worry.” Somehow, as her words were meant to be reassuring, I knew they were a lie.

Before she could step foot out of the door, I reached for her, taking ahold of her arm. “Kat, you are going to come back so we can talk, right? You’re not just saying you are?” I wanted her to look me in the eyes even if it broke my heart. I wanted to remember how she looked when she walked away from our future once again.

She tried to put on a brave face, but I saw right through her. “Of course. Stop worrying. I’ll be right back.”

I leaned down and kissed her, fighting back the tears as I pulled away. “Hurry back to me. We’ve got forever to spend together.”

Perhaps I should have stopped her, or pleaded for reasons why she should stay. Maybe I could have followed her to assure she’d come back to me. I think in my mind I pictured her realizing that walking away was a mistake. I kept telling myself that I was imagining the worst because we were so close to having it all.

I didn’t want to be right, not this time. I refused to accept that she was about to walk away from me, not when she knew what it was like to experience what we’d shared. I wasn’t alone in what happened between us. Everything was mutual, and I was sure she loved me, yet couldn’t begin to fathom how she could run from the idea of us having a future.

The longer I waited, the more I knew she wasn’t going to return. After nearly twenty minutes I knew I had to go find her, to talk some sense into her and show her we could deal with my parents together, as a team. She’d never have to be alone. I’d stand by her, protect her, and make sure she never needed a reason to fear anything ever again. I was determined to make her concerns dissipate. I was prepared to face my brother again, and anyone else that was going to try to stop me.

By the time I made it to her room a group of people were already standing there. Branch, my parents, and a hotel employee looked at me while I approached. I thought about turning around to avoid the look on their faces. It would have been easier to hide my uncertainties, not that it would make it any better.

“What’s going on?”

Branch pointed in my direction. “Where is she, Brooks?”

I tried to keep composure as I imagined where else she could be beside her room. “I don’t know. She left after you did.”

“Yeah right. If you’re planning on coming here to get her things, you’re too late. The room is empty.”

I turned to look at both of my parents, who were clearly devastated that I’d had a part in this happening. “I’m sorry,” escaped my lips. Feeling their disappointment was a burden I’d live with forever. On top of Kat missing, I had to deal with the fact that they’d be left to pick up the pieces. They’d have to make the announcement and send everyone packing.