Throwaway (25 page)

“I could see that,” he thought about her
words for a minute. “Have you thought about the possibility that
she’s involved in whatever Vance is? Maybe she’s not as innocent as
she appears.”

“I refuse to believe that,” Jessie shook her
head. “She’s too smart for that. I’ll never forgive myself if she
threw away a bright future over this mess. Please tell me you won’t
arrest her if she did.”

“Would you stop asking me to break the
law?”

“Sorry.”

“My entire adult life has been focused on
upholding the law, justice. When love failed me, when humanity
failed me, I had justice. Please don’t ask me to walk away from
that.”

“Law and justice aren’t always the same
thing,” Jessie pointed out quietly. “But you’re right. It’s not
fair of me to ask that of you.”

“We really are an oddly matched pair aren’t
we?”

“I’d like to think the differences complement
each other,” Jessie shrugged lightly.

“I know they do,” he maneuvered their
position so he could kiss her. There was such sorrow in his kiss.
She knew her hesitancy to marry was hurting him. She didn’t know
how to bridge that gap between them.

Words could never convey everything he made
her feel. Words could not heal the wounds she’d given and they
wouldn’t bind him to her. So she let her touch speak what words
could not as she loved him the best way she knew how.

Jessie pulled herself out of bed long before
she was ready. Of course, Gabe had already brought their suitcases
up and gone off again in search of food. She was proud to be
showered and dressed by the time he returned.

A large flannel shirt and jeans were the
wardrobe for the day again. She felt fat and frumpy in her new
garb, but it was ridiculously comfortable. Gabe didn’t seem to mind
the new look. He swept her into a long good morning kiss before
setting a baseball cap on her head to complete the ensemble.

After a muffin and a glass of orange juice,
they set off for the Wash U campus. This time they parked the red
Jeep and strolled around the campus, enjoying the crisp winter day
and hoping to luck into stumbling across some clue as to Harmony’s
whereabouts.

“I’m not sure if being here makes me feel
smarter or dumber,” Jessie, in fact, felt very old wandering
amongst so many fresh-faced youth. “Oh wow…”

“What?”

“I know that guy,” Jessie ducked her head
against Gabe’s arm.

“Do I want to know?”

“Probably not,” she admitted. “Is he gone
yet?”

“Actually, he’s still standing there talking
to a student,” Gabe seemed to be warring with amusement and
irritation. “Hey, there she is.”

He took off in the other direction, leaving
her exposed. Before she could think to take off after him, her eyes
met the professor’s. She could see him reaching back into his
memory, trying to place the face. A smile tugged the corners of her
mouth—how could she forget the erstwhile Shakespeare? Not many
people showed up in 16th century costumes. He’d taken himself very
seriously. She’d struggled not to giggle.

She was once again struggling not to laugh as
she darted to catch up to Gabe. She muttered an apology at his look
of irritation, quickly turning her attention to catching up with
Harmony.

Jessie was tempted to call out to her, but
something in her friend’s demeanor kept her from it. Harmony was
walking with purpose and was headed away from the main campus. Gabe
seemed inclined to agree with Jessie, and the pair quietly followed
Harmony. They pulled back when she stopped at the Metrolink
platform, turning towards the kiosk to buy tickets as she nervously
scanned the area.

When the sleek rail train pulled into the
station, they boarded two doors down from her. To Jessie, it felt
odd to be stalking her old roommate. But she couldn’t escape the
warning bells tingling in the back of her brain that Harmony was
acting like a person with something to hide.

And there was also the fact that after Jessie
had let them think she was dead, her friends might not welcome the
sight of her. She looked up at Gabe, trying to read his expression.
He glanced down and gave her a reassuring wink.

Harmony got off the train at the riverfront;
Jessie and Gabe followed as she boarded the Casino Queen. The place
was fairly quiet, although the permanent haze of smoke still clung
to the air from the night before. The mechanical song of the slot
machines could be heard in the distance.

“There’s our guy,” Gabe murmured to Jessie.
“And there he goes. He saw me.”

Gabe sped up, trying to cut Vance off at the
pass. Jessie tried to keep up but was easily outdistanced by Gabe’s
long legs and lack of baby bulk. It was obvious Vance hadn’t
noticed her—his attention was zeroed in on Gabe.

Jessie used that to her advantage and made a
wide loop to intersect them both. Suddenly Vance was headed
straight for her. Harmony followed with Gabe not far behind. She
took her baseball cap off and called his name as he neared.

He stopped short, focusing on her face as his
brain tried to comprehend what he was seeing. His normally stoic
expression now seemed just short of crying.

“Oh wow,” Harmony skidded to a halt behind
Vance.

“Is there somewhere private we could go to
talk?” Jessie put the baseball cap back on and tugged the bill down
low.

“My car’s out front,” Vance nodded slowly as
if still unsure of the reality of the moment.

The little group moved as one out to the
parking lot. Gabe and Vance flanked Jessie, both recognizing the
need to keep her from plain sight.

Gabe gave Vance directions to their hotel.
Otherwise, the ride was silent. It seemed best to wait until they
could finish the conversation before starting it and no one had a
clue where to start anyway.

“So, ah, I’m not dead,” Jessie finally spoke
as she sat on the edge of the bed in her hotel room. Vance’s
eyebrows shot up. He stood facing her, arms crossed and leaning
against the wall. Gabe stood close to Jessie, as if he wasn’t
entirely ready to trust Vance. Harmony sat in a nearby chair, still
staring openly at Jessie.

“Why now?” Harmony asked. “Why didn’t you get
in touch with us sooner?”

“Because I was trying to stay out of sight
and alive,” Jessie hoped her friend could understand that.

“I got word that someone was eliminating
anyone involved in Jessie’s death. She got worried about him,” Gabe
nodded towards Vance. “I told her to stay put, but she’s a very
stubborn woman. She insisted on making sure no one was doing
anything stupid in her name.”

“You shouldn’t have come back,” Vance shook
his head. “If Aleksander finds out you’re alive, you’ll wish he
hadn’t missed the first time.”

“I don’t want to know if it’s you,” Jessie
rose and went to him, placing her hands on his arms and meeting his
eye. “Because if I know, then Gabe knows.”

“And Gabe doesn’t want to arrest you,” Gabe
interjected.

“So why are you here?”

“Because I wanted you to know I survived. I
swam to shore and hitched a ride to the car Gabe had stashed for
me. I have a new life. I’m happy and well cared for. Things turned
out okay for me. I wanted you to know,” she repeated feebly,
feeling stupid now that she was looking up at him.

He closed his eyes for a second, trying to
collect his emotions. When they opened again, they glistened with
the sheen of tears. He kissed the top of her forehead and pulled
her into a hug. The uncharacteristic display of affection threw
Jessie for a loop, but she quickly recovered and wrapped her arms
around his thick waist.

“I’m so glad you are okay. But you were right
all along. When I saw you disappear in that river I knew—if someone
could do that to one person, they could do it to any person. The
world is better off without monsters like that in it. And I was one
of them for too long.”

“Leave,” she commanded him, raising her head
up to look in his eyes once more. “Leave the country. Go to some
island with no extradition laws and live a long and happy life. I
have money. I’ll pay for you to get there.”

“I hope you’re keeping your money somewhere
besides a mattress these days,” Vance teased. “And I appreciate the
thought, but Harmony and I can’t just pick up and run. She’s
brilliant, Jess. A mind like that shouldn’t be hiding on a remote
island somewhere.”

“I was hoping she was smart enough not to be
mixed up in this,” Jessie frowned, stepping back so she could scowl
at Harmony.

“Don’t you look at me like that,” she threw
her hands up defensively. “He’s right. Those men are monsters.
Someone had to stop them.”

“I’m not hearing this,” Gabe looked like he’d
rather be anywhere but there. “Haven’t you people ever heard of the
police? What ever happened to the idea of letting them do their
job?”

“Aleksander has at least one member of the
STLPD on his payroll. I never caught a name, but I can promise you
there’s at least one dirty cop in that precinct. That’s why Jessie
wasn’t extracted before the raid. She was supposed to die in the
melee. They planned to take out a lot of trash with that
fiasco.”

Jessie’s heart broke for Gabe in that
instant. He looked like a man whose last sliver of faith had been
destroyed as he sank to the bed Jessie had been sitting on. She
instinctively met him there, curling up almost protectively against
his back.

The gesture was not lost on either Vance or
Harmony. Silence prevailed for a moment while each collected their
thoughts.

“Are you planning on coming back?” Vance
asked Gabe.

“I’ll stay with Jessie. I gave Carter my
resignation last week. ”

Vance nodded as if he approved of that
decision. Jessie scowled at Gabe; he hadn’t told her that either.
She’d known it was coming, but it rankled her that he’d left out
something that important.

Jessie’s stomach growled, commanding Gabe’s
instant attention. “We should get some lunch.”

“It can wait,” she flushed with
embarrassment.

“I don’t want you getting sick because we
didn’t feed you,” Gabe argued. “Vance can take me to pick up the
Jeep and we’ll grab food on the way back.”

“Do you have somewhere else to be?” Jessie
looked from Harmony to Vance.

“Nowhere that can’t wait,” Harmony assured
her.

“Why are you so concerned about Jessie’s
eating habits?” Vance answered with a question of his own to
Gabe.

Gabe gave Vance a look that bordered on
threatening. Vance responded with a sigh.

“Come on. Let’s go get your car.”

“I would appreciate it if neither of you made
any major life decisions for me while you’re gone,” Jessie frowned
at them both.

“When are you due?” Harmony asked when they
were alone.

“May.”

“Gabe’s?”

“Yeah.”

“You really fell hard for him, didn’t
you?”

“Guess you were right about my love story and
all that,” Jessie shrugged.

“I was devastated when Vance showed up on my
doorstep, telling me that you were gone and urging me to leave the
life.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t call you. It was all so
strange—and scary,” Jessie filled her in on the events of the past
months. It seemed distant and unreal now, so very different from
her new world.

When Jessie had shared her story, she
listened as Harmony told her of starting a new life in a four-flat
building in South City where Vance could keep an eye on her from a
distance. They met in secret and pretended not to know each other
in public. For the most part, Vance had become invisible.

“At first, I didn’t know for sure what he was
doing,” Harmony admitted.

“You probably shouldn’t say any more than
that,” Jessie held her hand up. “I’m so sorry for whatever harm I
caused you.”

“It was easy to blame this on you and Gabe at
first,” Harmony told her. “But this thing is way bigger than either
of you. It would have exploded even if you hadn’t fallen in love
with a cop.”

“I don’t want you to hate me.”

“I don’t. I miss you. I wish things could be
like they used to be sometimes, but I don’t hate you.”

“What are you and Vance going to do?” Jessie
asked after another silence.

“Finish this.”

“I think you should both leave,” Jessie shook
her head. “They need geniuses in other countries, too. This isn’t
your mess to clean up.”

“It’s not really yours, either. Vance saw it
coming long before you got sucked in. It’s more his mess than
yours.”

“And you?”

“Vance is my mess,” she smiled.

“Then let us help you.”

“You have a baby to take care of.”

“Now you sound like Gabe.”

“Well, the man has a point. Aleksander will
kill you if he sees you. He really hates you.”

“Nice.”

“He doesn’t know me. He trusts Vance. Gabe’s
a known cop. No telling who in the department is trustworthy and
who isn’t so he can’t help us. The way I see it, Vance and I are as
good as anyone to finish this.”

“Harmony, Gabe and I followed you from the
campus. If we did, someone else could. I think I’ve handled the
trauma of this all pretty well, but I couldn’t handle it if
something happened to you. Not you.”

“No. Absolutely not,” Jessie stood toe to toe
with Gabe, her jaw line hard with determination.

“Who’s the bossy one now?” he tried to
lighten the mood.

“Don’t you get cute with me,” she narrowed
her eyes. “If you get to boss me around because I’m carrying extra
cargo, then I get a say in your life as the father of this
child.”

“It’s not exactly the same, but I see your
point,” he conceded. “It doesn’t change the fact that I can’t just
walk away from my job knowing there’s a bad cop in the department.
I owe it to Carter to find out who it is.”