Throwaway (26 page)

“You owe it to Carter? No. The last time we
were separated I nearly lost you. No. I’m not okay with this.”

“I wasn’t okay with coming to St. Louis in
the first place, but I’m here aren’t I?”

“Only because I snuck away from you—don’t try
to rewrite history.”

“I’m not rewriting history,” he rolled his
eyes. “I’m just saying that sometimes relationships require
compromise.”

“You sanctimonious…”

“Jessie…” he cut her off. “Please don’t
finish that sentence.”

“Fine. You want to compromise? We’ll both
stay in St. Louis.”

“No. Absolutely not.”

“But we’re compromising, darling.”

“You are such a brat,” he accused.

“Am not,” she crossed her arms and glared up
at him.

“I really want to kiss you right now.”

“Don’t change the subject.”

“But you’re really sexy when you’re mad at
me.”

“Stop it,” she shoved at his chest.

With the devil’s grin, he grabbed her by the
waist and started tracing a line of fire along her collarbone.

“This doesn’t change anything,” her head
rolled back and she melted in his arms. “My answer is still
no.”

“Mm-hmm…”

Two hours later, Jessie lay staring at the
ceiling wondering how exactly he’d managed to so completely
befuddle her.

After Vance and Harmony had left, he’d
broached the subject of him staying in St. Louis until things were
settled. They’d fought and now here she was—a mockery to decades of
the struggle for women’s rights.

“One month,” he promised. “Give me one month
and then I’ll come home, whether it’s done or not.”

“Assuming you don’t get yourself shot in that
month.”

“Ever the optimist.”

“I thought you were dead once. I can’t do
that again. I won’t.”

“You won’t have to. I’ll call every day. I’ll
come home every chance I get.”

“And what about the hours in between?”

“I guess that’s where faith comes in.”

Jessie wanted to tell him her world consisted
of what was. Things like faith didn’t hold much stock. But the
words died in her throat. Instead she nodded and blinked back the
tears that threatened. She rolled over, tucking herself against his
side. The baby kicked soundly, unhappy with the newly cramped
quarters.

“I felt that,” excitement permeated his
voice. He moved his hand to the side of her stomach, eager to feel
a repeat performance. The baby obliged, obviously irritated to have
its space cut down even further.

His grin could have lit the blackest of
nights. Jessie smiled at the look of wonder in his eyes, stroking
his hair and watching him with no small amount of adoration in her
own eyes.

There, in that moment, she felt a spark of
what could only be faith—faith that their little family would stand
together in the end. If Gabe were the kind of man who could walk
away from a responsibility, then he wouldn’t be the man she loved.
And she wanted their child to have the kind of parents that stood
up for truth no matter what. And for those two reasons, he was
right. He had to stay.

“Come back to us,” Jessie seared the look on
his face to her memory. “Swear to me.”

“I do as I say,” he stilled, meeting her
eyes. “One month.”

“Hailey and I will plan the wedding while
you’re gone,” she decided as the words tumbled out of her mouth.
“Don’t leave me standing there without a groom.”

“You don’t have to entice me to come back,”
he shook his head.

“Gabe, please.”

“I’ll be there. We’ll make it a Valentine’s
Day wedding.”

“Oh that’s so cheesy,” Jessie wrinkled her
nose.

“Humor me.”

“Fine. Valentine’s Day.”

“Hopeless romantic,” he teased before kissing
her long and slow.

The next morning Jessie took her time getting
ready. She knew it was time for her to go home, but she wasn’t
ready to leave Gabe behind. She wished she could see Vance and
Harmony once more, but each meeting increased the risk they would
be caught. So she contented herself with the knowledge that as of
the moment, they were alive and well.

She cried the first half of the drive home.
The baby kicked like crazy, making her cry all the harder. She
stopped at the Pizza Inn at Rolla to have their buffet for lunch.
Then spent the next half of the trip practicing what she’d tell
Milo.

Turns out Gabe had already paved the way for
her there. Milo welcomed her back without a word and they picked up
right where they left off. The first week of Gabe’s absence passed
quietly enough.

Hailey gladly dove into helping Jessie plan
an impromptu wedding, which would be held at Honeybranch. It seemed
the most appropriate venue. Ethan graciously stepped in to oversee
the process of making the property livable again after years of
sitting dormant. Before she knew it, Gabe was back for his first
two-day visit. They spent both days turning the main house at
Honeybranch into their new home.

He was gone again before she was ready, but
not before they moved her meager possessions into the main
house.

“I don’t like you being here alone,” he’d
frowned when she’d first announced her intention to move in right
away.

“I’ll get a pet.”

“A dog. A big dog.”

“Drive carefully,” she’d kissed him and
watched him drive away.

The next day she’d stuck to her promise to
get a pet and adopted a cat. It was a fluffy gray ragdoll with
white paws who spent her time lounging in the sunlight streaming
through the big bay windows in the living room.

He wasn’t amused. He walked through the door
and stopped short at the site of the gray cat in the window.

“That is not a guard dog.”

“But she doesn’t drool on me,” Jessie
informed him pertly. “Oh, but I can’t change the litter. It’s bad
for the baby. Could you do that before you head back?”

He’d grumbled, but he did change the litter.
The next day, he’d left bright and early only to return with a
large white German Shepherd.

“No,” she refused to let the pair into her
house.

“He’s cleaner than that creature,” Gabe
gestured at the cat. “And he has a function… besides filling the
litter box.”

“His paws are muddy.”

“I’ll dry them,” he promised, pushing his way
through the door. “His name is Lobo.”

“Perfect,” Jessie eyed the animal warily as
he sniffed his new surroundings. “Just perfect.”

Gabe spent the rest of his time off with
Ethan walking the property and drawing up plans. Lumber contractors
were hired to clear a pasture. The sale of the lumber was supposed
to pay for fencing and a pole barn.

Jessie just smiled and nodded when they
talked farm plans with her. It just wasn’t her thing. She was much
happier working with Hailey to contact children’s homes so they
could introduce themselves.

With the work to be done, learning how to be
a grill cook, settling into a new home and planning a wedding, the
second week without Gabe passed even more quickly than the
first.

Gabe was starting to look drawn. He was no
closer to uncovering the dirty cop and there had been another
murder.

“We hired Hailey’s son Aaron to do dishes at
the diner. Unofficially, because he’s not technically old enough,”
Jessie filled him in on local news. “But he’s trying to save for a
new saddle and Milo wants me free to do more cooking.”

“He’s a good kid,” Gabe commented
halfheartedly.

“You are a million miles from here.”

“I just can’t stop thinking about this thing
at work. I know Brunner is an idiot, but is he capable of being a
bad cop?”

“Maybe,” Jessie wasn’t sure how to help him.
“Maybe not. Stop thinking about it, though. That’s when the answer
will come to you.”

All she could do was watch helplessly as he
drove away, the strain of the situation bearing heavily on his
shoulders. Being so far removed made her feel impotent but she
couldn’t fathom how to help. So, she threw herself even harder into
the things she did have control over.

Having Aaron work part-time at the diner gave
her an idea, which she ran past Milo one day over a late lunch.

“What do you think about hiring some of the
kids we take in?”

“Here?”

“Yeah. You’re always short-staffed. Maybe we
could start a training program for kids that are interested in
learning a skill… give them something to put on a job application
when they are ready to move on.”

“We could take on one or two at a time, I
suppose,” he mulled it over. “How many kids you planning on having
at that halfway house of yours?”

“We can handle ten at first. The plan is to
expand to twenty within five years.”

“Looks like maybe you need to start asking
around. Maybe some of these other local businesses would be willing
to take on an apprentice.”

“That’s a good idea,” Jessie nodded slowly.
“I don’t suppose you could help me come up with a list of people to
talk to?”

“I’ll think about it a bit… maybe ask around
some,” he promised. “Now you’d better get going. You have too much
to do to sit around keeping an old man company.”

“Never,” she grinned, nonetheless getting up
to kiss him on the cheek before washing her plate and gathering her
things. Thanks to a steady drizzle and dropping temperatures, a
fine sheen of ice was gathering on the ground and she had no desire
to test her driving skills on it.

When she was safely home she got a fire
going, changed into her pajamas and snuggled up on the couch to
watch TV. She tried petting the cat, but it gave her a disdainful
look, stretched and returned to its spot in the window.

She sighed; the sound seemed to bounce around
the big, empty house. Lobo cocked his head and watched her
expectantly.

“What do you want?” she scowled at him.

He wagged his tail and inched closer to
her.

“I’m not a dog person.”

He inched a little closer.

“Seriously. Go away.”

He rested his massive head on her lap.

“You listen about as well as your
master.”

The dog’s tail thumped in response.

“Do you know any tricks?”

The dog sighed.

“Okay, I won’t bring it up anymore.”

The dog’s tail thumped again and she
scratched his ears. He licked her arm and gave her a look of pure
adoration.

“Fine. We can be friends… but don’t tell
Gabe. I’ll never live it down.”

Turns out Lobo was a great listener. Over the
course of the afternoon, Jessie managed to fill him in on every
major event of her life. He seemed quite interested in her current
predicament. Either that or the food that she was dishing into his
bowl as she wound down her current tale of woe.

He scarfed down his kibble while she picked
absentmindedly at a microwaved meal for one. Her brain hurt from
all of the planning and worrying so she decided to spend an evening
doing nothing. She curled up on the couch with a bowl of popcorn
and a mug of hot chocolate to watch The Notebook. Somewhere between
Noah securing the first date with Allie and the final,
tear-wrenching scene, Lobo had worked his way onto the couch. She
wrapped her arms around him as she cried; he licked her face with
concern.

The shrill ring of the home phone sliced
through the air, startling them both.

“Are you okay?” Worry permeated Gabe’s voice
when he realized Jessie had been crying.

“Fine. It’s nothing, really,” she promised
him. “Are you okay? You sound stressed.”

“It’s probably nothing,” what was meant to be
reassuring had the opposite effect. “Do you remember Kevin? The
uniform standing out front at Nick’s? He asked about my girlfriend
today… He was just making conversation, but a bunch of guys heard.
I don’t know. Maybe I’m just making myself crazy… just be extra
careful, okay?”

“Sure,” she promised. They talked for a
little while longer. From the tone of Gabe’s voice, Jessie
half-expected him to drive home overnight just to check on her. She
did her best to comfort him, but the truth was his call scared her.
She was glad for the white dog that shadowed her every move.

After thirty minutes of restless pacing, she
called Vance.

“Hey. I just got a call that made me a little
nervous and thought maybe you could tell me if there’s anything new
going on,” she told his voicemail. She hung up, not sure what else
to say.

Her nerves were a wreck and she wished having
a big glass of wine was an option. As it was, she dozed off on the
couch in front of a documentary with two phones, a cast iron
skillet, and a butcher knife on the coffee table in front of her.
Lobo was stretched out at her side, his head resting on her
chest.

The vibration of a growl rumbling low in his
throat is what woke her up. His entire body was tense as he honed
in on an unseen threat in the woods surrounding the house.

Jessie was afraid to move, afraid to distract
his attention. She reached for the phone as discreetly as possible.
Her hands shook as she dialed Gabe’s cell.

“I think there’s someone outside,” she tried
to sound calm, but desperately wanted to weep at the sound of his
tired voice.

“Okay. It’s okay. I’m going to call Bobby and
ask him to swing by. I’m not far away myself. I couldn’t sleep.
Call me back in a few minutes so I know you’re okay.”

“Sure. Thanks. Love you,” she hung up the
phone. Any hopes she had of him telling her it was a wild animal
and to go back to sleep were completely dashed.

Lobo hopped lightly off the couch, moving
with impressive agility for something so large. He crouched facing
the door, ready to leap at the threat on the other side. Jessie sat
up, briefly debating her choice of weapon. She finally decided the
skillet required less skill and fortitude, so she hoisted the heavy
pan as she turned to inch towards the door.