Throwaway (21 page)

As if making up for lost time, they were
together every waking moment. Gabe worked her shifts at the diner
with her, although he was still on a disability leave from the
STLPD, so it was unofficial assistance.

They talked constantly at first, filling each
other in on every detail the other had missed. Jessie was glad when
he finally shared what had truly happened to him in Afghanistan.
Despite the pain he’d been through, even with the scars he would
always carry and the bones that still protested the damage done, he
was lucky to be alive and they both knew it. Not everyone in his
unit had been so fortunate. Jessie felt both guilty for having
wished that pain on another woman and grateful for the miracle of
having Gabe home.

The more they talked, the more they began to
piece together what had really happened in those few dark days. The
more they pieced together, the more questions they had.

According to Dan, no one had seen Vance in
over a month. Harmony had disappeared as well, though most people
assumed she’d moved back in with her parents. Jessie toyed with the
idea of checking; she felt like she owed Harmony at least that
much.

Gabe called Carter for an update on the
arrests made during the raid. There was some concern Coleman would
walk away from the whole mess. His attorney seemed to be doing a
good job of fast-talking his way out of the girls found captive.
The Feds had gotten involved and were now trying to put together a
money trail connecting Coleman to illegal activity.

Gabe tried to feel out the details of the
raid, but didn’t have much luck. All he really found out was that
the Bosnians who hadn’t been arrested had gone
underground—Aleksander included. And he got confirmation that both
Spence and Jessie were presumed dead.

“Well, that’s one piece of good news,” he
sighed when he hung up the phone, rubbing his forehead as if it
would stimulate thought.

“What’s that?”

“You’re free to move on with life.”

“I can’t just walk away,” she shook her
head.

“Why not? It’s been months since the raid.
What can you even do at this point? What if they arrested you—what
would happen to the baby?”

“Arrest me for what? Not dying when they
wanted me to?”

“I don’t know—but I wouldn’t put it past
them. Brunner hates you.”

“He’s probably the one that made the decision
to move ahead with the raid.”

“Yeah. And Carter’s not telling me because
word’s gotten around that I pulled him off you the last time he
tried to shut your mouth.”

“I was pretty glad you did, by the way.”

“You’re welcome,” he grinned at the memory.
“I didn’t know a person could get that red in the face and not have
a coronary.”

“You don’t think there’s anything else going
on there, do you?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. What if Brunner rushed things
to protect Aleksander? Wouldn’t be the first time an officer was
bought.”

“Just because you don’t like the guy,” Gabe
scowled but stopped short at the look Jessie gave him. “Sorry.
You’re right—it’s a possibility. I’ll keep nosing around.”

“Are you planning on staying with the
department?”

“I’m not sure, really.”

“Oh.” It hadn’t occurred to Jessie that he
could be going back to St. Louis once his leave was up. As much as
she loved her old home, she wasn’t ready to leave this place.

“What do you think I should do?” Gabe asked,
thoroughly surprising Jessie.

“I like it here. I want to raise my baby in a
place like this. Her roots are here.”

“Her?”

“Either it’s a girl or I apologize now for
any gender confusion I might cause,” she held her hands up.

“Okay,” he nodded, considering. “I’ll talk to
Bobby after the holidays. Maybe they have room at the sheriff’s
department down here.”

“What? You don’t want to help run the
diner?”

“I have no desire to be Ma Jr.,” he smiled
and kissed her forehead. “And I think he’s grooming you for that
honor.”

“Hardly,” she regarded him skeptically. “I
bus tables and wash dishes.”

“I know my dad. He’s training you.”

“You’d really stay here because I want
to?”

“It would be much harder to convince you to
marry me if I lived four hours away.”

“Stubborn man,” she teased, but something
inside warmed at his words. His persistence was endearing, but more
than that, it was the first time in her life she’d been able to
choose something as basic as where to live. The apartment didn’t
count; she’d stumbled into that. This was a conscious choice and it
felt good.

It was hard finding time without Gabe around
to seek advice on his Christmas present. He was staying with his
father—a measure of decorum insisted on by his sister. Jessie was
certain he gave in so easily as a way of toying with her. She
missed him when he was gone, but he was always there bright and
early the next morning. Sometimes he’d slide into bed with her
before she was even awake.

Those were the mornings it was especially
difficult to get out from under the covers. But this morning, Gabe
was running late and Jessie seized the opportunity to seek help
from one of Gabe’s friends. The drive to Tumbleweed Ranch was a
short one, made slightly longer by the u-turn Jessie had to make
after zipping right past it.

Having never been there before, she was
completely blown away by the rugged beauty of the place. She’d
never been much into animals, more from lack of exposure than
anything, but even she had to admit there was something magical
about this ranch. She parked the Plymouth next to Ethan’s old red
truck and climbed out. A pack of dogs came barreling towards her
and she quickly hopped back in.

They surrounded the car, howling merrily as
their tails wagged greeting. Jessie eyed them suspiciously,
wondering if they were trying to lure her into the open with a
friendly demeanor. A big black and red speckled hound stood on his
back legs, his paws on her window as nose sniffed around, leaving
streaks she didn’t want to identify on the glass. His ears were
each twice the size of his big, slobbery face. A whistle sliced
through the air and those ears came forward, his face wrinkling in
concentration. Another whistle and his head whipped around; he
clambered down from the car and merrily lumbered over to Ethan, the
rest of his band of merry misfits following.

“Sorry about the welcoming committee,” Ethan
grinned, opening the door for her. “They love visitors.”

“Ah,” Jessie eyed them warily. The speckled
dog meandered back over to say hello and she tentatively held a
hand out for him to sniff; that seemed like the right way to greet
a dog. She’d seen it once on television anyway.

“Don’t worry, Blue is a big-ole baby,” Ethan
assured her. “Rover there is a bit shyer. We think he was being
used for dog fights before he came our way. But he’s friendly once
he gets to know you. The rest of this pack came with the place. We
let them stay when we bought it—didn’t seem right to turn them out
just because their owner got out of farming.”

“Ah,” Jessie said again. “They’re very
cute.”

“Not a dog person?” he grinned again. He had
a very easy and contagious smile.

“Just not much experience.”

“They’ll grow on you. Hailey’d have a hundred
if she could.”

Jessie wasn’t sure how to respond to that.
She couldn’t fathom the drool and fur that would come along with
one hundred dogs.

“Hailey’s not here right now,” he told her
apologetically. “She… had to run into town for a bit.”

“That’s okay; I came to see you, actually. I
hope it’s not a bad time.”

“Not at all, I was just heading to the
stables to turn the horses out. Walk with me?”

“Sure,” Jessie was curious to see the horses
she’d heard so much about. One thing she’d learned early on was
that Ava prided itself in being the home of the Missouri Fox
Trotter. And here, a stone’s throw from the Missouri Fox Trotter
Association and arena, Tumbleweed Ranch was home to more than a
hundred Mustangs. It would have been considered sacrilege if anyone
else had tried it. But being mad at Ethan and Hailey would have
been like kicking a kitten; no sane person could do it.

“Most of the horses are free range. They’re
in the southwest pasture this week. The ones in here are either our
riding horses, or the ones being trained,” Ethan was explaining as
he threw open the stable doors to let sunlight stream in.

“The government pays you to house wild
Mustangs—isn’t that what I heard?”

“Yep. And then we train them when they’re
adopted. We also contract with the BLM—Bureau of Land Management—to
purchase twenty or so every year that we train and sell. Although,
we try to do groundwork on as many of them as possible… it just
makes things easier.”

“Groundwork?”

“We teach them their manners.”

“Oh. He’s pretty.”

“That’s Tumbleweed. He’s a special boy—aren’t
you?” Ethan ran his hand along the horse’s face while the animal
mouthed at his coat in a friendly greeting. It was an unusually
colored animal.

Jessie wasn’t sure what color to call him.
Tan seemed the closest, but he was almost gray in a certain light.
A brown horse nickered impatiently from the stall next to him.

“Alright, Mac, I’m coming…”

“Can I do something to help?” Jessie offered,
not sure what she could possibly do.

“Sure,” Ethan deftly slid a halter over the
brown horse’s head before opening the stall. He led the horse out
and handed the end of the lead rope to Jessie. “Walk him that way.
I’ll be right there with Tumbleweed.”

Jessie deeply regretted offering to help, but
took the rope handed to her and walked in the direction told. The
animal followed her docilely, for which she was eternally grateful.
Before this moment, she had only seen horses on television or from
a distance. Neither had given her a true feel for the power they
contained. She couldn’t imagine purposely crawling on the back of
one of these beasts.

“I didn’t know horses got this furry,” she
admitted, tentatively reaching out to touch Mac’s neck as they
stood waiting for Ethan and Tumbleweed.

“Some don’t because their owners keep them
blanketed or in heated stalls. Some people shave them. We let ours
get their winter coats. We try to let them just be horses, you
know?”

“I like it.”

“Hailey says they look like teddy bears.”

Jessie smiled, sinking her fingers into the
thick fur. The horse was solid muscle underneath. “I like him.”

“Mac and I go way back. He’s my boy.”

Jessie watched with interest as he released
the two horses into a nearby paddock. They made a beeline for the
hay. Ethan closed the gate and hung the halters on a nearby hook
before going to retrieve more horses. Jessie followed, this time
leading a gray mare while he led a black mare to a separate
paddock. She felt like quite the pro by the time he closed the
second gate.

“So, I’m sure you didn’t come all the way out
here this time of day to help me turn out horses,” Ethan leaned
against the gate he’d closed, turning his attention fully to
Jessie.

“I need help. I have no idea what to get Gabe
for Christmas.”

“Cutting it a little close, aren’t you?”

“I thought he was dead a week ago and haven’t
been able to shake him since. I’m surprised I got away this
morning, to be honest.”

“He’s with Hailey picking out your gift,”
Ethan admitted with a chuckle.

“That explains it.”

“He is a tough one to buy for,” Ethan
considered carefully. “How much do you want to spend?”

“How much should I spend?”

“I can’t answer that one for you, but I need
to know what ballpark I’m shooting for, Jess.”

“Given the situation, if it’s the right gift,
I’ll spend what I need to. I really want it to be something
special.”

“This is going to sound incredibly self
serving, but you could always get him a horse,” Ethan shrugged.

“A horse?”

“He used to be my partner, before he got it
in his head to move to the city. I’ve got a big bay out back that I
know he’d love. If you guys are serious about staying here, I think
he’d enjoy having a horse again.”

“A horse,” Jessie considered it. It was
certainly a big gift. It wouldn’t go unnoticed or be easily
forgotten. “How much and what’s your return policy?”

“The adoption fee is $125 because I haven’t
even started training him yet…and if he hates the gift, I’ll buy
him back.”

“Aren’t horses supposed to be expensive?”

“They are—to feed. You can board him here as
long as you need, though.”

“You really think he’d like it?”

“Like I said, maybe it’s self-serving… but I
really think training this horse would be good for him right now.
He’s got a lot bumping around in his brain.”

“He wouldn’t do something like this for
himself,” Jessie agreed. “He never stops to think about
himself.”

“Do you want to see the horse? Maybe that’ll
help.”

“Yeah,” Jessie straightened. “I would like to
see him.”

“Come on, then,” Ethan motioned for her to
follow him. She was surprised when he opened the door to his truck,
but climbed in.

“I don’t want you to go to too much
trouble.”

“No trouble. It’s just a bit of a long hike
and I don’t think I should put you on the back of a horse at the
moment.”

Jessie nodded, taking in the surroundings as
they drove further into the property, stopping occasionally for
Ethan to open and close gates. A few minutes later, they stopped in
a clearing near a meandering, half-frozen creek. A herd of horses
stood packed together near a mountain of hay. Their heads popped up
at the sound of the truck, watching the intruders with wary
curiosity.

Ethan sat in the window of his truck and let
out a sharp whistle. The horses started and a large reddish animal
came to the front of the group. His legs, mane and tail were black,
and it looked like he had little white socks just over his hooves
on three out of four legs. His long mane and tail were caught up in
the wind, making him look like something straight out of the old
west.