Throwaway (20 page)

He answered her with a kiss. It was more than
hungry; it was filled with months’ worth of fear and uncertainty
and longing. It was a thousand I’m sorrys and ten thousand I love
yous. They stumbled back through the door together, barely kicking
it closed before the clothes started falling.

She wanted to devour him, each and every inch
of him. Jessie lost track of the kisses and caresses and all sense
of time; she needed to rememorize the curve of every muscle. She
hadn’t done a good enough job of that before. She’d taken him for
granted and the memories had faded too quickly. Now they flared
back to life, fueled by the heat of his presence.

She closed her eyes and wept freely as he
trailed feathery kisses along her neck, his hands running along the
bends of her body.

And when they moved together, it was in
perfect concert. He gathered her in his arms and held her close.
Jessie wrapped her legs around him, sure she could never be close
enough. How she loved this man.

They were still wrapped in each others’ arms
when the phone started ringing.

“Bet that’s Milo,” Jessie reached for the
offending sound.

“I’ll talk to him. Oh he’s going to be pissed
at me.”

“Then let me talk to him. He likes me.”

“Very funny, thanks,” Gabe made a face at her
as he answered the phone.

Jessie couldn’t help but feel bad for Gabe as
she listened to a very different conversation than the kind she had
with Milo. It was obvious that once Milo was assured that Jessie
was indeed fine, he wasn’t too happy with his son for not
adequately answering his questions.

“We should probably get dressed,” Gabe sighed
when he hung up the phone. “He’s coming over.”

Jessie let out a shriek and moved as quickly
as her new bulk would allow her to. It wasn’t a long trip from the
diner.

“That’s my sweater,” he seemed pleased by the
fact that she’d donned something of his.

“It is,” she smiled and ruffled his hair
before moving to brush her own.

“I like the dark blonde.”

“I’m glad.”

“Is the baby a girl or a boy?” he ran his
fingers through his own hair before bending over to place his hands
on her stomach.

“I don’t know yet,” she smacked his hands
away. “And you need to put clothes on.”

She darted to the living room to start
rounding clothes up from the floor, tossing them into the
bedroom.

“Dang it, where’s my bra?”

“Not sure,” he shrugged and gave her a rakish
grin. “I was a little preoccupied at the time.”

“That helps,” she scowled at him.

“Well it’s the truth.”

“How are you not dressed yet?” she put her
hands on her hips and regarded him with exasperation. Although, she
had to grudgingly admit that she liked the way he looked in jeans
and nothing else. She licked her lips unconsciously and he
playfully arched an eyebrow.

“Think we can fit another round in?”

“You’re such a jerk.”

“You were the one looking at me like I’m
lunch.”

“I never did get lunch because of you,” her
mind switched gears. “And put a shirt on.”

A knock at the door silenced his reply, and
served as incentive for him to finally slide a white t-shirt on if
nothing else. Jessie smirked before opening the door to a frowning
Milo.

“What aren’t you two telling me?”

“Milo…meet your grandchild,” she took his
hand and put it on her stomach. The look on his face made Gabe
laugh before he could catch himself. He quickly sobered at the new
look on Milo’s face.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he looked at Jessie
with wounded eyes.

“I didn’t know. Not until Gabe walked into
your diner. Then it fell into place.”

“Gabe?” Milo looked to his son.

“Why don’t you come in, Dad?”

“Oh, and you guys left these outside,” Milo
pulled the keys out of the doorknob and held them up.

“Thanks,” Jessie sheepishly reclaimed them,
noticing her bra on the Santa statue’s head after she closed the
door behind Milo.

“Why didn’t you two say something at the
diner?” he persisted.

“It was a lot to process at once,” Gabe
began, breaking off when he noticed Jessie trying to position
herself between Milo and the bra. He pressed his lips together and
swallowed the laughter before continuing. “I left for the war
before Jessie even knew about the baby.”

“This still doesn’t make sense. Why didn’t
you call her when you did me?”

“I tried,” he paused, considering his next
words. “We’d lost touch.”

“Lost touch? You’re not married?”

“Not for his lack of trying,” Jessie assured
Milo, if for no other reason than to get Gabe out of hot water.
“Now why don’t you two go see what you can find me for lunch? I
need to lie on the couch for a bit.”

Jessie grabbed the bra and stuffed it behind
the couch as soon as Milo was in the kitchen.

“You have no good groceries. You’d starve if
it wasn’t for me, you know that young lady?”

“Then it’s good I have you,” she retorted.
“And I do okay. There’s decent fast food here for such a small
town.”

“Fast food. Humph. That’s so bad for
you.”

“But I hate to cook.”

“You’re a good cook.”

“That’s different. I don’t exactly have the
same setup here.”

“I have stepped into the Twilight Zone,
haven’t I?” Gabe looked from one to the other, reaching for Jessie
as she joined the men in the kitchen.

“You should go lay down,” Milo ordered.

“But I don’t want to let her go,” Gabe
argued. “I thought I’d lost her forever.”

Milo stopped rooting for food to study the
pair. A small smile tugged at his mouth.

“I don’t think I want to know the whole
story. I like seeing you in love, Gabe. It suits you.”

“I don’t think I can tell you the whole
story, Milo. But I was living a life you wouldn’t approve of when
Gabe found me. I was a prisoner in a world most don’t understand,”
she snuggled deeper into Gabe’s embrace, hugging his arms to her as
she did. “But Gabe saved me. And I saved him. And together we saved
a whole lot of innocent girls from the same prison. And now I’m
dead to that world—I live here.”

Milo nodded. Silence hung in the air for a
moment before he took a deep breath. “I’m going to the diner to
make us some food. Try not to lose any more women’s undergarments
before I get back.”

“I make no promises,” Gabe chuckled. Jessie
elbowed him in the ribs.

“I got your message after you left,” Jessie
told him once they were alone. “I listened to it three times before
curling up with the phone and dreaming of you.”

The look on Gabe’s face said he needed to
hear that. Doubt had plagued him when she didn’t answer the phone.
He tugged her back to the bedroom, this time to spread out on top
of the bed in a lazy embrace while they talked.

“Vance woke me up that day. Said the raid had
gone down already and that Aleksander was coming for me. Spence
found the phone and broke it… we were fighting when the men came.
They loaded us into an SUV and drove us to a boat ramp north of St.
Louis—in Illinois.”

“Wait a second… the raid wasn’t supposed to
happen for two more days. They were supposed to extract you
first.”

“Guess that didn’t seem too important once
you were gone,” she shrugged. “But I’m happy to know you thought I
wasn’t in danger. Vance was so pissed at you… said you let me do
the dirty work and left me to pay the price.”

“Where was Vance when the Bosnians showed
up?” Gabe retorted.

“He was with us. But Aleksander wasn’t sure
what to do with him. He saw potential in Vance. You know they shot
him, Gabe. Spence. They lined us up and shot him. He’d just
apologized and then he was gone. They tried to shoot me, too, but I
jumped in the water.”

“The Mississippi?”

“It seemed better than a bullet in the brain.
Turns out it was.”

His arms tightened around her and she
couldn’t be sure, but he seemed to be crying.

“I’m so sorry baby. I’m so, so sorry.”

“I missed you,” she reached up to sink her
fingers in his hair. She wanted to tell him it was all okay, but it
wasn’t yet. She still hadn’t entirely processed that trauma. “So
what about you? Why were you dead?”

“Clerical error.”

“What really happened?”

“I’m telling you—a clerical error. I was
injured. I have a few souvenirs to show for it,” he ran a finger
down the side of his face. “I didn’t know what had happened at
first or I would have called Dad sooner.”

“You’re not getting off that easy.”

“Yeah, well, my story wasn’t nearly as
harrowing yours—and we have something more important to discuss at
the moment.”

“Really? What’s that?”

“My dad will be back any time now and he will
have one question burning on his brain—when’s the wedding?”

“Who’s wedding?”

“Ours.”

“Tell me you’re joking.”

“Ouch.”

“Seriously,” Jessie sat up and folded her
arms, glaring at him. “We barely know each other.”

“We know each other at least a little,” he
gestured at her stomach.

“But that’s not enough.”

“Enough for what?” he snapped in
exasperation.

“Enough to keep you from getting bored with
me. You know who my best customers were? Other women’s husbands,”
she felt cheap and embarrassed at the admission, but she’d always
been thankful that no matter what she was, she wasn’t the woman on
the other end.

“Your faith in us is astounding.”

“Two hours ago you were certain this was
another man’s baby. Your faith in us is astounding.”

“Okay, look at this a different way. How are
you going to pay for having a baby?”

“Cash.”

“And you’ll be completely penniless when it’s
all said and done.”

“Are you suggesting I give birth someplace
other than a hospital?” Jessie retorted.

“I’m suggesting you marry me and let me add
you to my insurance plan.”

“So in essence, you’d be paying me…”

“Good Lord you can be stubborn woman,” he ran
his fingers through his hair in exasperation. “Isn’t there anything
else you’d rather do with that money? Is it so horrible to give us
a chance?”

Jessie couldn’t help but think of her halfway
house for foster kids. The money sitting in her bank account would
go a long way towards making that a reality.

“You’re thinking about it,” he grinned. “I
can almost see the wheels turning.”

“You are such a jerk.”

“I love you, too. Marry me and maybe someday
I can convince you to love me back.”

“You stupid man. Have you even looked around
this apartment?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

She walked into the living room to retrieve
the hat she’d clung to in his absence and held it up for him to
see. “I’ve slept with this more nights than not. I actually wore a
spot on the brim rubbing my thumb along it. I talk to your car like
it’s you. I get some pretty incredulous looks over that one. Let’s
see… your clothes are everywhere because if I’m not wearing them,
I’m smelling them. Hell, the fact that I’m in Ava, Missouri should
count for something.”

“What are you trying to say, sugar?”

Jessie knew he was toying with her, trying to
coax the words from her. She narrowed her eyes and considered
calling him a jerk. Instead she reached out to set the hat on his
head and smiled. “You scare me.”

“Because…”

“I love you,” she conceded.

“Ah… she said it!” he rejoiced, coming off
the bed to playfully twirl her around before pulling her into a
bear hug. “Come on. You can totally divorce me and take everything
I own if you get sick of me.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Better think fast,” Gabe informed her when
there was a knock at the door.

Jessie rolled her eyes and shoved him away so
she could let Milo in.

“Hello Jessie-girl,” Milo gave her a peck on
the cheek as he passed by. “I brought roast beef and mashed
potatoes. Hope that’s okay.”

“It’s perfect. Can we get anything for
you?”

“Maybe Gabe could grab the drinks out of the
car. I made you a shake.”

“Thank you,” Jessie blinked back tears,
cursing the hormones for her lack of control. “You didn’t have to
do that.”

“Nonsense. It’s a celebration. I brought
beverages of a different kind for me and Gabe.”

“Ah. Well, then I accept the milkshake with
much thanks.”

It was obvious that Gabe was enjoying this
newfound truce with his father. The two men chatted about town
gossip and Jessie found that more often than not, she had something
to contribute. She had truly become a part of this place.

“So, have you two talked at all about
marriage? You know Elizabeth will be fit to be tied,” Milo leaned
back in his chair, resting his folded hands on his full belly.

“Jessie here has some concerns about getting
married just because of the baby… she thinks I’ll get bored with
her,” Gabe tattled.

“The girl knows her mind. Don’t go trying to
get me to force her into a shotgun wedding,” Milo reprimanded his
son, whose face fell. “You’ll have to win her over all on your own.
And you’re telling your sister. I’m already in trouble with
her.”

Jessie gave him a smug look before clearing
away the dinner dishes. The party moved from the kitchen to the
living room and was still going strong when Jessie fell asleep on
Gabe’s shoulder.

The next few days were surreal. With
Christmas so close, Jessie suddenly found herself in the odd
predicament of having many gifts she felt compelled to buy and
little time to do it. Even more frustrating was her complete lack
of experience in picking out presents for people.

She and Gabe made a day of driving into
Springfield to shop together for many of their friends and family,
which took much of the burden off of her. But it did nothing to
help her where he was concerned. And the fact that she couldn’t
think of one thing to buy him for Christmas only served to solidify
her certainty that marriage was out of the question. She tried
watching him closely as they shopped, hoping to gain some insight
into what a man like him might enjoy. Unfortunately, he seemed to
be the least materialistic person on the planet.