Throwaway (8 page)

“I want to find somewhere far away from here.
Just for a few days. I want to be just a woman with a man. Is there
anywhere we could do that?” Jessie felt like a foolish little girl
for admitting it, but the words were out before she could stop
them.

“You know what? I can arrange that,” he
appeared thoughtful. “If you can get away for the week, that is.
We’ll head out Tuesday afternoon.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Jessie shook her
head, still keenly embarrassed by her outburst.

“No, it’s a great idea. I’ve wanted to toss
you over my shoulder and run you away from here since the moment I
met you. It just felt a little caveman, so I resisted the
temptation.”

“I appreciate that,” she told him wryly. She
wasn’t really sure what to do once that was decided. She didn’t
want to go, but knew she shouldn’t stay, either. Dan decided for
her when his next song was a favorite Springsteen cover.

She leaned against the wall, her legs propped
on Gabe’s lap beneath the table. He absentmindedly traced lazy
circles on her skin just above her cowgirl boots. The casual touch
and the music were enough to make her forget all the reasons to not
be sitting there.

She might not be able to name the jumble he
had caused in her, but she did know that he filled her with the
oddest desire to please him. And while she was quite convinced that
she could never give him what he really wanted—she would never be
free of Spence—she could give him one thing he wanted.

“Do me a favor?” she pulled him towards her
as she leaned towards him.

“Anything,” he smiled in a way that made her
mind go blank for a moment. She blinked a few times before her
thoughts came back.

“Tell Carter I’ll do what he wants. Just as
soon as we get back.”

“Hey, that’s not why I’m doing any of
this—you know that, right?”

“Sure, I know that,” she nodded, not entirely
convinced herself.

“Damn it, Jessie,” he wrapped his fingers
through her hair and pulled her to him, his mouth hungrily claiming
hers.

Maybe he couldn’t convey whatever message he
intended to with his kiss, but he did succeed in clearing her mind
of anything other than him. When he finally pulled back, his eyes
searching for something in hers, she half-heartedly shoved at
him.

“That was really stupid. You’ll get yourself
pulled from my case.”

“Argh,” Gabe’s gargled cry of frustration
made Jessie smile. “You are going to be the death of me,
woman.”

“Take me home before it’s the other way
around,” she playfully shoved at him again.

He grudgingly obliged. Jessie leaned over to
kiss Dan’s cheek goodbye as Gabe tossed a tip in the jar. Jessie
clung to Gabe’s side, her face buried in his shoulder in hopes no
one would recognize her on the way out.

When they made it back to the car, she sunk
low in the seat, determined to not ride back the way she’d come.
They worked out the details for Tuesday afternoon and then talked
about nothing really of consequence. She wanted to ask him to take
her to their little diner for a greasy burger but thought that
might seem too desperate. So she settled for a tender goodnight
kiss at the Metrolink station by the Scottrade Center and the
promise of stolen time away on the horizon.

With plans to make a bag to pack, the next
few days went more quickly than Jessie imagined they would. She was
disturbed to realize it was harder to shut off her mind when she
worked since she’d met Gabe. It was an unfortunate side effect.

From her first encounter with Spence, Jessie
had been finely tuning the art of detaching her mind from her body
as needed. She could now go on autopilot completely on demand. Or
rather, she could, until meeting the scruffy cop with dark good
looks and a dimple. Damn that dimple.

Once she made that unfortunate discovery, it
was impossible to work. At the rate she was buying herself from
Spence, she’d blow through her mattress money in no time. With that
worry looming overhead, she knew the time had come to organize and
count her savings.

After counting out twenty envelopes, each
containing a thousand dollars, she felt a little better about her
ability to avoid work for a while. She also decided not to bother
with packing and to just ask Gabe to take her shopping on the way
down. She wanted clothes that covered her body. She wanted to walk
into a room and not be noticed.

There was nothing in her wardrobe now that
didn’t command male attention.

“Jess?” Harmony tapped at her door
hesitantly.

“Just a second,” Jessie shoved the last
envelope back under her mattress and ran to grab the door.

“Are you okay?”

“Sure… why?”

“I don’t know. You just seem a little off
lately.”

“I’m okay, really,” Jessie assured her with a
friendly smile. “Sorry if I’ve seemed weird or something.”

“Have you heard anything from Gabe
lately?”

“Not lately,” Jessie shrugged, mentally
adding that lately could mean in the past day or two. “Have
you?”

“Nah, it’s been weirdly quiet. I haven’t seen
any heat at all, actually. It makes me a little nervous.”

“Huh. That’s odd. Wonder where they went…
maybe they’re just better at hiding.”

“Or they found an informant.”

“Or that,” Jessie nodded carefully.

“I worry about you, Jessie.”

“Shouldn’t that be the other way around? I’m
the older, wiser friend, after all.”

“Older, yes,” Harmony stuck her tongue out at
Jessie and dodged her playful swat.

“Seriously, though. Vance stopped me at the
market. He’s worried about you, too.”

“Vance is a nervous wreck because Spence is
making his job nearly impossible. It’s tough to protect someone who
keeps throwing themselves in front of a train.”

“Yes, I know,” Harmony gave her a very
pointed look.

Jessie wasn’t sure if she should be offended
or flattered. She wasn’t used to people caring one way or the other
about her. It was almost like having an odd little family in Vance
and Harmony. She impulsively gave Harmony a quick hug.

“I promise I won’t play in traffic, Mom.”

“Thank you. Now, can I treat you to Ho’s for
dinner?”

“Sure,” Jessie agreed with a grin. Ho’s might
be a little out of their way, but the Chinese food was good and it
made Jessie giggle to eat there.

Tuesday morning dawned clear and bright. An
added bonus was the absence of the oppressively sticky humidity
that usually clung to St. Louis air in late August. In its place
was a warm summer breeze that promised fall would be right around
the corner.

She curled up in her easy chair, carefully
writing a note to Spence explaining that she’d been hired for an
extended stay. She occasionally paused in thought, chewing on the
end of her pen absentmindedly while trying to decide the best way
to keep Spence from going berserk on her when she returned.

It finally dawned on her that there would be
one sure-fire way to set his mind at ease. It just so happened it
would also be a good way to keep better tabs on Spence as a police
informant. Gabe wouldn’t like it much, but there was no reason for
him to know about it ahead of time—that would probably spoil their
time together.

So she scribbled out the rest of her note,
shoved some bills in the envelope as a down payment on her time,
and dropped the envelope in Spence’s bowl. She had a little time
before she was supposed to meet Gabe, but she was getting restless
in her apartment.

Harmony was at class, so Jessie scrawled out
a quick note to her—a condensed version of her note to
Spence—before beginning the process of zigzagging her way to the
little coffee shop where she’d promised to meet Gabe. Maybe she was
being overly cautious, but she felt better taking an indirect
route.

The coffee shop was a trendy place in the
county with a decent assortment of java and gelato. It was the time
of day when the crowd was a mix of housewives taking a break from
errands and business people meeting outside the office. Jessie
couldn’t have felt more out of place if she tried.

She ordered herself a smoothie and sat in the
back corner, burying her nose in a copy of the Riverfront
Times—more to look less conspicuous than because she was dying to
catch up on current events in her fair hamlet.

She’d regretted not wearing a watch and was
debating wandering around the little strip mall to kill time when
at last Gabe was standing before her with an amused grin on his
face.

“What?” she eyed him warily.

“I’ve been watching you for five minutes and
you haven’t turned the page once. That must be a riveting
article.”

“Five minutes? Why didn’t you say hi, you big
dork.”

“I was waiting for my coffee,” he held up his
cup as a defense. “Besides, I like watching you.”

“Voyeur.”

“You’re all kinds of sassy today, aren’t
you?”

“Just uncomfortable,” she admitted, gathering
up the papers she’d scattered on the table. “Can we go now?”

“Are you excited?”

“Ask me again when we’re on the road.”

“Do you mind if we eat dinner early?” he held
his hand out to Jessie, who gratefully accepted it and followed him
to the door.

“You’re in charge.”

“Where’s your bag?”

“I didn’t bring one,” Jessie hoped he
wouldn’t be too put out with her. “I was kind of hoping I could run
in somewhere along the way to buy a few things.”

“Um, sure,” he seemed a little confused by
her request, but was intuitive enough not to ask her reasoning.

She hadn’t realized just how soon he meant
when he’d asked if they could eat early. Jessie was glad she’d been
too nervous for lunch, because it felt like they’d barely gotten on
the road when he was exiting at a little town called Eureka and
pulling into an old brown building labeled “Phil’s Barbeque.”

It was dark and fairly empty given the early
hour. There was nothing exceptional about the place, causing Jessie
to wonder why Gabe was so excited about bringing her here.

“Hi folks,” a lanky man with bright blue eyes
greeted them from the kitchen before his face lit up in
recognition. “Hey Gabe. Long time no see, sir. How you been?”

Gabe smilingly responded and the two
exchanged pleasantries, the other man leaving the kitchen to join
them in the empty dining room. They took a seat towards the back
and Gabe ordered them a couple of beers after introducing Jessie to
the man, who turned out to be the owner.

Jessie wasn’t sure she was in the mood for a
beer until she took a sip of the large draft set in front of her
and decided immediately it was the best she’d ever had. So was the
fried chicken sandwich and french fries she had for dinner. She
could practically feel the calories attaching themselves to her
hips as she ate, but she didn’t care. It was decadently
amazing.

Between the enormous beer, the sheer number
of calories consumed, and the easy conversation, Jessie felt a
little dazed by the time she stood stretching in the parking lot,
waiting for Gabe to unlock her door.

She had no idea where he was taking her as he
hopped back on Highway 44, but she didn’t really care. The sun was
shining and it was a perfect 82 degrees, so they took the top off
the Jeep and turned the music up. Miles of blacktop flew by
beneath, taking the couple further and further from all that stood
between them.

Jessie leaned back in the seat, watching the
lush green hills pass by. Warmth radiated from her neck where
Gabe’s free hand rested lightly when he could spare it. She’d begun
to wonder if he’d forgotten her request to stop for clothes when he
pulled into a large outlet mall.

“We used to get our school clothes here when
I was a kid. My mom swore by the place. Sorry, it’s all I could
think of,” he offered a little helplessly.

“No, it’s perfect,” she straightened and
stretched the kinks out of her back.

Gabe was a saint, walking patiently through
each store with her as she scoured sales racks. As soon as Jessie
settled on her first purchase, she went to the restroom to
change.

“What you had on was fine,” Gabe pointed out
to her when she emerged in a new outfit.

“People were staring at me.”

“Honey, people would stare at you in a gunny
sack. You’re beautiful.”

“Thank you,” Jessie flushed, looking anywhere
but at him.

She happened to disagree with him about the
reason for the stares. She felt much less self-conscious now that
she was wearing a plain gray t-shirt and a pair of denim capris.
Three stores later, she had a sufficient wardrobe for the week,
along with some tennis shoes and a leather bag to use as a
suitcase. Gabe watched her with amusement as she bent over in the
parking lot to transfer her clothes from the large plastic bags to
her new satchel.

Two minutes after they climbed back in the
car, he was pulling into a gas station, pronouncing it the last
chance to use the bathroom or grab a fountain soda. Although Jessie
took him up on both offers, she assumed he meant last chance until
they reached their destination.

But when he took a back road instead of
getting on the highway, Jessie wondered if maybe he’d meant it was
literally the last chance in the foreseeable future. They wound
through what was surely wild country. It was lush and beautiful;
there was a certain rugged air to the place. Red and black cattle
dotted most of the fields. They passed so many horses Jessie
wondered if they were an acceptable mode of transportation in this
part of the state.

It couldn’t have been more different from her
world. Funny, she hadn’t thought Gabe looked out of place when
she’d met him. But he seemed to fit here. There was an ease about
him already.