The Face In The Mirror (29 page)

He found Midgey and me for coffee the next morning. When I saw him, I
panicked; worried that it would be uncomfortable.

“Good morning!” he said with a big smile, and I felt a wave of relief wash
over me. “We’re docking at two and I’m making my rounds before it gets busy
and we begin disembarking. I hope you found this to be a pleasant experience,
ladies; I know I did.”

I saw the smile directed to me, and felt myself blush. Hell, Midgey saw it too
and the grin on her face made me want to smack her. He hugged Midge and
then came to me. As he hugged me, he whispered in my ear, and snuck a kiss
on my cheek. “I’ll hope to hear from you, Mona,” he said, and hurried away.

“I saw that,” Midge said, sarcastically.
“What?” I asked, and we both giggled.
“You were asleep when I came in last night, and you’ve been very quiet this

morning…”
“Let’s go finish packing,” I interrupted her.
“We have a three-hour drive home, so don’t think you aren’t going to tell me

about last night at some point,” she threatened.
“I will. Just not here, Not now.”

After we were in the car, on our way, Midge said, “Bring it on, my friend!”
“Midgey, nothing happened. He kissed me, and I liked it. He hugged me
and I wanted more, but I didn’t break my promise to myself to not break my
vows.”
“Mona…”
“Don’t,” I told her. “I wanted to. God, Midgey, I wanted to, but I couldn’t.
I couldn’t do it. I saw myself getting naked,” I laughed. “And I ‘saw’ him, or
what I imagined, doing the same. I swear to you, it was all I could do to walk
away. Putting my hand on the door knob to leave, thinking what I might be
leaving behind… it was the hardest thing I’ve done in a very long time.”
“So, what was the whisper?” she asked. “I’m nosey, humor me.”
“He gave me his personal contact information and said he hoped he would
hear from me.”
“Well?” she prodded.
“Well, we’ll see what tomorrow holds.”
“Mona…”
“Yes, Midgey, I know, no calendar has ‘tomorrow’ as a day of the week.”

Later, after we’d read for a while, I said, “I’m hungry.”
“Breakfast in bed?” Mitchell asked.
“Are
you
fixing it?” I asked with a giggle.
“Lay here, and wait,” he laughed, and kissed my cheek.

I looked at the clock. It was 4:50, so I dialed Cassie. “You OK if I don’t
show up today?”
“Sure. Everything all right?”
“It’s my head, but I’m not gonna lie to you. It’s not a headache - it’s just on
overload. We’ve been reading Mom’s journals since around three this
morning…”
“I’ve got this,” she said. “Go relax.”
“Thank God for you,” I said, and meant it.

Mitchell returned with a tray holding two coffee mugs, two bowls with
spoons and a jug of milk.”
“What’s this?” I asked, and smiled.
“Cheerios,” he laughed, “but the bag said the coffee was ‘gourmet’ and I
fixed it just the way you like it.”
“I love this,” I told him.
“Me, too.”
After we ate, I took the tray to the kitchen and put everything away. When
I returned, Mitchell was snuggled down in the covers and flipped my side back
for me to join him.
“I wanna make an observation,” he said as he pulled me closer.
“Should I be nervous?” I asked, peering into his eyes.
“Not at all, it’s something I just realized. In all our years together we’ve
never once spent the whole day together in bed.”
“Hold that thought,” I said, and jumped up and ran toward the kitchen. “I
called Cassie already. Call Dave and I’ll be back in ten minutes.”
I pulled one of the prepared chicken dinner meals from the freezer (I am
my best customer!), threw it in the crockpot and ran back to the bedroom.
“Surprise,” I said when I saw the curiosity on his face.
“I have a surprise of my own,” he laughed teasingly, wiggling his eyebrows
in a suggestive manner.
“Do tell,” I replied.
“Can’t. I have to show you.” Once again he pulled the covers back for me
to join him. He was naked!
“Oh my!” I exclaimed and tossed the nightgown I wore aside, dove in, and
pulled the covers over our heads with a giggle.

We’d fallen back asleep after our morning activity break, and it was just
after noon when we got up again.
“I need to stretch my legs and get a shower,” Mitchell said.
“I think we can do both,” I said in an enticing way.
“Is that an invitation?”
“More suggestive than inviting,” I smiled.
“You ready?” he asked in a soft, alluring whisper, his eyes flashing with
desire.
“I’m all yours,” I purred.

After we showered, I dressed in pajamas and went to the kitchen to make
sandwiches. I joined Mitchell in the bed and thought about my life, our life
together. I really was all his, and I knew that he was mine, and I would never be
careless with this gift again. Ever.

Done with our lunch, Mitchell picked up the journal to read more from the
journals. As anxious as I was, it was easier for me to hear him read her words.

I couldn’t stop thinking of him, but no way, no how, could I contact him
from home. I purchased a disposable phone and paid cash for it. Even as I
write this, it sounds like something from Law & Order, not my own life. I
was going to call him and there was no way I could let Wayne Ridgeway find
out.

It took me two weeks of hesitation, but finally I dialed, and the damn thing
went to voicemail. I started to hang up, but I decided to leave a message.
“Robert, it’s Mona. I just called to say how much I enjoyed the cruise. It
was lovely and I’m glad I went. Thank you for showing Midgey and me a great
time. I’ll try you again soon.”
Later in the evening, I pulled the phone from its hiding place and turned it
on. There was a message, and I felt my heart race. No one had the number but
him, not even Midgey.
“It’s me, try me back.”
I went for a walk along the river. If your father did come home, that
wouldn’t be suspicious since I did it most evenings, but I didn’t think he’d be
home anyway.
I dialed and he answered. “Mona, I’m so glad it’s you.”
“It is,” I laughed.
We talked a while and finally he said, “I hope you are thinking of
possibilities.”
“I’m thinking of the possibility of another cruise,” I murmured.
“With or without?” he asked.
“Midge?”
“No, your conscience.”
“I don’t know about that,” I said, and feeling nervous again.
“When you get ready to make the plan, let me know. I’ll make it special for
you.”
And I thought about those possibilities…
“Mona, I have a three-day break next week. Is there a way that I might see
you? Lunch somewhere, a restaurant halfway, maybe?”
Oh, I shouldn’t, but I wanted to, and I heard myself reply. “There’s a mall
about an hour from the port. It’s about halfway. I’d feel comfortable meeting
you there. I’ll call you when I get close and we’ll decide where.”
“I’ll be happy to see you.”

On Tuesday I got in the car and headed to meet him. I was ridiculously
nervous, but anxious and excited all at the same time. I’d chosen a small café
that I’d been to with Midge a while back. I called him with the address. When
I pulled into the parking lot and saw him, I could barely catch my breath.

“Mitchell! A rendezvous!” I said anxiously.

When I stepped out of the car, he kissed my cheek. Once we entered the café,
he asked for a table in the back corner and ordered mimosas.
“You look beautiful, Mona,” he told me, and I can’t even tell you how his
words affected me. I’d only heard ‘you look nice’ from your dad once in the last
dozen years. ‘Beautiful’ was lovely and unexpected and I felt a blush on my
cheeks. I know he could tell how nervous I was because he started making
small talk.

She’s smitten,” I said.

“We had pop-up storms every day on the ship’s last excursion. It’s that time
of year, very common in the summer, but it keeps me busy. Keeps Doc busier
with the sea-sickness and nausea,” he chuckled. “It’s really kind of amazing to
be out there in the open ocean, seemingly in the middle of no-where, and see the
storms coming. Sometimes they’re gone as quick as we see them, but the
rainbows are unbelievable – blue sky, blue-black water and then a rainbow –
truly artwork from God.”

“I like the way you describe that. I can visualize it. I bet the cruises from the
Gulf are beautiful in a different way. The water in the gulf is much different
than our coast – aqua,” I said.

“Shall we order?”

I looked over the menu and saw a delicious sounding crab benedict omelet. I
decided I had to try it, and then I would tell you about it so you could learn to
make them. I told Robert about your omelets and how I loved them, and then I
told him about you as we ate.

“Mitchell, wait a sec,” I said. I pulled a pad from the drawer of the table on
my side of the bed and scribbled,
Mama’s Omelet – Crab Benedict.
Mitchell looked
at the scrawl and smiled.

I made a quick dash to the kitchen to add the remaining ingredients to our
meal. When I returned, Mitchell was on the chaise waiting.
“Come sit over here with me for a while,” he suggested.
He was holding the journal and I saw that the marker was about halfway
into the book, but I realized that only represented the pages, not her words,
and I had no idea at what point in the book it would all end. It was early
summer 2011 - Granny passed in October and my dad had left in January 2012,
so I knew there couldn’t be a lot left. I dreaded the end for so many reasons,
but I was keeping the promise not to peek ahead. One page at a time.
“Let’s just lay here a while,” I said.
“You don’t want to read?”
“Not right now. I just want you to hold me. Tomorrow is back to the real
world and I want to enjoy ‘just us’ for a bit.”
We snuggled a while and finally got up to get a bite to eat.

“This is a good one,” Mitchell said as he enjoyed the chicken dinner that I
had ‘tortured’ him with all day.
It really did smell delicious. The only bad thing about using a crockpot
when you’re home is that the aroma of what you’re cooking smells up the place
all day – you can’t get away from it. I think it made us want what was cooking
even more!
“It’s a new recipe; it
was
called Chicken and Vegetable Stew.”
“And now?”
“I know how much you love chicken and dumplings so I cut the vegetables
smaller, made it more gravy-like and cut up canned biscuits and laid them on
top to make dumplings, so now it’s Chicken and Dumplings!”
“Until Cassie gets a hold of it and gets creative with the words,” he
laughed.
“I love her. She didn’t call one time today, which gives me the peace of
mind that I
can
take time away,” I said. “But mostly, I just love her.”
Mitchell smiled at the conversation, and then, without missing a beat,
picked up the flat bowl that I’d served our dinner in and started licking the
bottom, causing both of us to break into belly laughs.
“It really is that good,” he said, licking his lips.
After dinner, we crawled back in bed and picked up where left off in the
journal.

We talked about everything but us, or an attempt for anything more than
the lunch we shared. It was pleasant, enjoyable and comfortable. I enjoyed
sharing his company, and realized that I did miss having a man in my life – a
thought I hadn’t allowed myself to this point.

Finally, I looked at my watch and noticed how late it was getting. I decided
that I needed to go to the mall to find something to take home with me, just in
case Wayne was home when I arrived.

“I don’t want to leave you,” he told me when I told him I needed to go.
“May I call you?”
“I’ll like that, but I can’t have the phone turned on. I’ll check it and call
you when I can.” I paused, thinking. “I hope that you do, Robert. This has
been lovely.”
“I hope that we can plan another day very soon, Mona,” he paused and then
gently rubbed my cheek with the back of his hand. He leaned closer and I held
my breath. He kissed my cheek and whispered in my ear. “I want to make
love to you. I won’t push or pressure you. I won’t say I’ll wait for you, but I
will tell you that I haven’t met anyone in a very long time that makes me want
to wait, as you do. I just want you to know that you are all I think about.”
“Robert,” I said and it came out a breathy sigh. “I don’t know what to
say.”
“I can hope for romance, but I’ll take whatever moments you allow me.” He
rose from his seat and reached for my hand. He walked to me to my car.
Before he let my hand go, he eased me closer and kissed my cheek. The kiss
was so close to the corner of my mouth that I just wanted to turn into him. My
thoughts were running rampant.
He moved closer and whispered in my ear. “I’ll hope to hear from you very
soon, Mona.” His breath on my neck excited me and suddenly, I felt reckless
and impulsive.
As he turned to walk away, I wanted to yell, “DON’T GO! I’M
READY!” but the reality was, that I wasn’t.
I left with my head reeling. I was confused and paralyzed with fear. For the
first time since you were born, I thought about leaving your father, because I
wanted that man.

“I don’t know why she doesn’t just do it! Here is a man who obviously
cares for her…” Mitchell said.

We lay there, in the quiet for a bit. Finally, I turned to Mitchell. “I told you,
it’s her conscience. I can feel her struggle, and it saddens me, because she was a
beautiful woman and she deserved happiness in her life.”

It was dark outside, and when I looked at the clock, I saw it was already
8:12. We’d pretty much succeeded in accomplishing Mitchell’s idea to stay in
bed all day, and I loved it.

“Let’s read just a little more,” he said. “I want to know.”
“It’s pride, Mitchell.”
“Yeah, but…”
“You knew her. You’ve read her words. You know that pride. You know

her values. She said more than once that my dad would have to be the one who
left.”
“Maybe she’ll find her strength,” he said in a voice filled with sadness.

We read of their stolen conversations, the pull she felt, and it broke my
heart. She should’ve been happy and free in this time of her life. She wrote
about my dad’s absence and her suspicions of his activity. It was early
September in her writing.

I had a message from Robert today and was giddy when I returned the call
and he actually answered. I’m meeting him again for lunch next week.