The Face In The Mirror (27 page)

I excused myself and went to my office, pulled up iTunes on the computer
and downloaded the song to my phone. It was, as Meg had said ‘soooo sexay!’
But the words were what captured me...

That night as I was getting ready for bed, the song played through in my
head and I felt my own body swaying to the music. I was washing my face and
brushing my teeth, and when I looked in the mirror, I saw Mitchell coming into
the bathroom. I smiled and danced a little more.

“Puttin’ on a show for me?” he asked, placing his hands on my hips, lifting
my hair, kissing my neck, and then my shoulder.
“Heard this song today that the girls were listening to and I can’t get it out
of my head,” I replied, watching him in the mirror.
“What song has you moving like that, Renie? I need to hear it and see the
rest of your moves,” he said, as he flashed a sexy smile in the mirror. I reached
to grab my phone off the counter. As I turned, I leaned back, placing my
bottom on the edge of the counter and started the song.

‘Cuz with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there’s no place we couldn't go
Just put your hand on the glass
I'll be tryin’ to pull you through
You just gotta be strong…

Mitchell took my hands and pulled me to him and began to do some
swayin’ of his own – and I liked it!

‘Cuz I don't wanna lose you now
I’m lookin’ right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space that now you hold
Show me how to fight for now
And I’ll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin’ back here to you once I figured it out
You were right here all along…

“Why haven’t we danced like this before, Renie?” he asked, nuzzling my
neck, leaving hot breath behind as his hands softly caressed my back. “It’s a
huge turn-on,” he whispered.

“Huge,” I repeated, barely able to breathe.
It’s like you’re my mirror
My mirror staring back at me…
“Thank you for being the other half of my reflection,” I whispered as he
lifted me into his arms.
It’s like you’re my mirror
My mirror staring back at me…

He carried me to the bed and started the song once more, kissing me,
touching me in ways that had my body aching for more, and he gave me what I
wanted.

Later, lying in Mitchell’s arms, he told me, “I saw her in the mirror… and
I’m gonna pray that I see her again…”
Excited, I sat up. “You did? You saw my mom?”
“No. I saw the woman of my dreams, the woman I’ve loved since I was a
young man. I saw you Renie.”

n

It had been ten months since my mom died and I knew as each ‘first
everything’ passed, it would become easier. We were making our way slowly
through the last journal, and I didn’t want to rush. These were her last words to
me and I wanted to savor each one, like a spoonful of praline cheesecake, it’s
so rich and luscious that you just want tiny bites…

Saturday it rained like a typhoon and it was cool, so we snuggled up with
the journal and read.
April 2011

Oh, what a time I had with Midgey on our cruise to the Bahamas! How I love
her! I wish we’d have invited you to join us. I have to tell you, Renie, this whole
trip was first class and this old gal’s still got it!

I laughed as I read her words. She was never one to refer to me as Renie. I
think she tolerated it because Granny started it. To her, I was always, Renee.
Suddenly, I could hear the merriment in her voice, and I could see the smile on
her face, in my mind. She was a beautiful woman, but ‘hearing’ her admit it
tickled me.

Midgey and I were having cocktails and our Captain was mingling. A man
had just whisked Midgey away and I was alone. The Captain made his way to
where I was and introduced him self, “Captain Robert Murphy,” he said, and
then asked me for ‘a spin around the dance floor’.

Oh, Renie, it was delicious! He was handsome and smelled like heaven. It
felt good to be in a man’s arms, even if was just a dance. We talked as we
danced and he invited me to join him at his table for dinner the next evening. I
told him about Midge and he said there would be two seats waiting for us to
join him.

“No wonder she glowed in those cruise pictures,” Mitchell said.

At dinner the next evening he was not only the most handsome man at the
table, he was attentive and engaging, and I found myself loving his company.
He spoke with others, but it seemed they were pleasantries; with me, he shared
conversation, and I felt like a girl again. Oh, the way he looked at me, and
when he bumped my leg under the table, my heart raced. And you know
Midgey didn’t miss a thing!

He excused himself after the meal. Midgey and I went to freshen up to go to
the bar to dance, and I secretly hoped he would be there.
“Girl, you got a lust smile goin’ on there if I’ve ever seen one,” Midge
laughed as I put lipstick on.
“Oh, stop,” I laughed, but I think she was right.

We were in the bar, and once more Midge was out on the floor with
someone. I think I felt the Captain come close, because I turned and he was
right there.

“May I?” he asked.

I told him yes, and he took my hand and led me to the dance floor. “You’re
a beautiful woman, Ms. Ridgeway. May I call you Mona?”
I should have said ‘Mrs. Ridgeway’, but I didn’t. I didn’t feel like ‘Mrs.
Ridgeway’ anymore, but I also knew that I wouldn’t lead him on to anything
inappropriate for a married woman.

“Go for it, Mona!” Mitchell cheered.

As we danced, he asked me to meet him on deck, by the pool, at eleven and I
agreed. I don’t know what I was thinking, but I said yes. I was going to meet
him. He left me and went to mingle with other guests. I saw Midge watching
me as she danced. Finally, she came to where I was sitting.

“Oh my goodness, your face is aglow like I’ve never seen!”
“He makes me feel excited,” I told her.

At eleven I was waiting by the pool when he approached. “Let’s walk,” he
suggested. The moon was full, and sparkled on the water as the ship moved
along. There was a pleasant breeze as we walked, and his voice was like a
breeze of its own, as we talked. He told me about his many excursions and I
was genuinely interested.

“Mona,” he said finally.
“Captain,” I smiled.
“When I first saw you, you seemed lost.”
“I have a complicated life,” I replied.
“Married?”
“By title only. My husband seems to find the company of other women more

enjoyable than mine.”
“It seems to me that he is missing out.” I could feel myself blush at his words,
but I said nothing. “We dock in Nassau in the morning. I’d like to show you
and Midge around.”
“I believe we would enjoy that, Captain.” I was relieved that he included
Midgey in his invitation. I was nervous being with him, now; the thought of a
whole day alone with him made me even more anxious.
As we made our way to the bow, it was dark. We stood in the moonlight, the
soft movement of the ship causing a cool breeze, and I shivered. Finally he took
my hand and kissed it, and we started to walk back.
“I will look forward to seeing you in the morning, Mona. I’ll meet the two of
you right here.”
“It will be a pleasure, Captain.”
“Robert,” he said. “Please call me, Robert.”

When I returned to the room, Midge wasn’t there. I got in my pajamas and
crawled into the bed, thinking about the evening.
Finally, Midge came in and pounced on my bed like we did when we were
roommates in college, telling me about her evening, chattering away. She
snuggled under the covers with me and laughed. “Now my special little
butterfly, tell me about your evening!”

“I always loved when Midgey called her that. They truly were best friends,”
I told Mitchell.

“You know,” she said after I’d told her about the Captain, but I stopped
her.
“You know that I won’t. I won’t stoop to Wayne’s level, but I will enjoy this
time, with this man.”
“You should just leave that son-of-a-bitch,” she told me.
“But I won’t. We’ve had this conversation many times before, my friend. It
will be Wayne who does the leaving. It won’t be me.”
“Well, I’ve said this to you before, too, Mona. I wish he’d just do it. Go…
leave… and let the door hit him in the ass so hard that he feels the pain he’s
caused you in every inch of his body.”
She paused, and then asked, “You aren’t sleeping with him anymore, are
you?”
“Not in years. He’s hardly ever there. When he is, he doesn’t suggest it, and I
don’t encourage it.”
“Well, then, I hope he gets some crud and his dick falls off.”

“I love Midge! Since as far back as I can remember she’s been there. She’s
always been the fun, flamboyant one!” I told Mitchell. I looked at the clock.
7:05, and it was still raining.

“I’m about ready to think about dinner,” I said.

Mitchell whipped out his phone and dialed. “Two Wrong Fools,” I heard
on the other end and smiled.
“A number six, number eight with shrimp, and with ‘six you get egg roll’.”
He looked at me and smiled.
“But what if I wanted something else?” I laughed.
“Really?” he asked sarcastically. “Really, Renie? Something different?
You’re such a creature of habit; I know ‘something else’ is highly unlikely.”
At his words, I lost my mind and doubled over, giggling. He picked up the
book up and said, “Read!”

The Captain was able to spend several hours with us. He showed us a lovely
time; he took us to shops and we visited street artists that he’d come to know
before he had to return to the ship.

“Unfortunately, I have a job to do,” he smiled.

Midgey and I decided to return with him. It was earlier than we had
planned, but Midgey suggested it. As we headed back to the ship, she was
talking to the woman beside her and the Captain leaned to whisper in my ear,
“Another stroll this evening?”

“I’d like that,” I told him.

She wrote, in detail, about the scenery of their trip to Nassau and all that
they’d seen and done. Her words painted a picture so vivid that I could see it all
in my mind, feel the sun on my face, and smell the salt in the air.

The doorbell rang and we stopped to eat. Later, we ended up taking the
book to bed with us to read some more.

As we walked, he reached for my hand. “Robert, I don’t want to do
anything to lead you on.”
“You haven’t yet,” he smiled.
“He’s been a liar and a cheat almost since the day we said ‘I do’,” I told
him.
“Why do you stay?”
“At first it was because I was hopeful. I kept thinking he’d grow up and
settle down. He’d chosen me, after all. He asked me to spend the rest of our
lives together, but I don’t believe he’s settled down yet. And then there was a
child.” I told him.
“I’ve heard that expression, ‘A baby changes everything’…”
“Well, this one sure did,” I interrupted. “Derek is his son from a fling. The
mother wanted no part of him, and my husband’s parents basically bought the
baby from her for me to raise as my own. I was in law school, working on my
own career, and I didn’t want my name associated in any kind of scandal, so I
agreed. His parents paid for my education and a nanny for Derek so that I
could continue school, and then work part-time. I confess, though, every time I
look at Derek, I see my husband with another woman.”
“And then, four years later, I found out I was pregnant. Once again, I
thought our world would change, only it was only my world that changed when
I gave birth to my beautiful daughter, Renee. My greatest gift in life came from
that man, and I often think that if I had left I wouldn’t have that lovely
woman in my life, so I stayed for her to have a stable home. She blesses me
every day.”
“But after she was grown?” Robert asked.
“I had no reason to leave. My life alone was better than a life on my own. I
didn’t care what he was doing. I have a lovely home and until just a few
months ago, I had a career that I loved. I’ve always said that it would be him
that did the leaving, not me, and he hasn’t, so here I am.”
“Well, I’m glad ‘here’, for now, is in my company.” He leaned to kiss my
cheek, and oh, Renee, I wanted more.

I closed the book and lay there, just thinking. Finally, I put the book aside
and rolled closer, into Mitchell’s waiting arms. “How, Mitchell? How could she
still be loyal to my dad?”

“Should we read on?”
“No, that’s enough for tonight.” I got out of the bed and went to the
bathroom. Somehow I thought I’d see her – I wanted to, but she wasn’t there.

Our schedules kept us busy. The hospital project had begun, Mulligan’s
was almost complete, and Convenient Cuisine was hopping! Renie and I rode
to work together each day, and we had breakfast together before I headed to
the warehouse. This gave us an extra hour and a half together in the mornings,
and another hour in the evenings. It really did feel like we were catching up on
‘lost time’. We were expanding our relationship from lovers to friends. We
hadn’t shared that before because we’d been too involved in being lovers. Now,
she was my confidant, the one I wanted to spend my spare time with, as well as
my lover.

I gave up my nights with the guys, and Renie and I would walk for miles on
the beach some evenings and talk about life. Not just our life and things taking
place in the world around us, but we talked a lot about what Mona’s journals
had given us. She gave us the insight on what we had now. She gave us lessons
to hold on and focus on what we knew we never wanted – to ever be apart
again.

And with each journal we read, I saw Renie inch a little closer to something
else she’d been missing these last months. Peace.
n

Chuck bid for an early shift, so Cassie and I worked our mornings around
his to allow, her to be home with him. Things were going smoothly. Life was
grand.

The girls I used to work with came in on Friday for breakfast. I had a great
time catching up with them, but I realized as I did that I missed none of it. I
finally felt happy coming to work each day.

Later, I noticed that I’d missed several calls from dad’s number, but he
hadn’t left a message so I didn’t call back.

I could hardly wait to get home to continue reading. I was still reeling from
the last entry we’d read about the Captain. Mitchell came to Granny’s to pick
me up, and set the crockpot behind the seat. As we headed for the beach, we
talked about the day, and finally, as though he couldn’t take it any longer, he
asked, “What is that delicious smell?”