Dismantled (Girls on Top #2) (15 page)

She lays the paper down and grabs the next one. This is going to be one of those message videos like the ones I’ve seen on YouTube.

You think it’s your fault

but it’s not

stop blaming yourself

I want you

to see what I see

when I look at you

I see a man who’s

honest

kind

giving

strong

loyal

bold

thoughtful

GOOD

you need to see yourself

the way I see you

I’m your mirror

Look at me

and see yourself

love yourself

the way I love you

you
are
worth it

Live your life

with no regrets

The video ends. I have no words. I have never seen myself the way she sees me, what she sees
in
me. I lift my head in time to watch her walk from the hallway entrance towards me. No words are said. No words are needed. Our eyes are each other’s slaves, captured and kept away from anything else. She’s all I see. She’s everything I’ve ever wanted. I want to feel her love. I’ve never been with anyone who loved me and cared, really cared about me. Something inside is stirring and making an appearance. I feel need, but I also feel something else I can’t quite pinpoint.

At that moment, Ciara is in front of me. Although I’m already looking at her, her hands run through either side of my hair and as she makes a fist with my hair tangled around her fingers, and pulls down hard enough I can’t look away.

Putting the phone on the seat next to me I take a moment to inhale everything about her. She’s still wearing the cute pink bra with black polka dots she had earlier. She smells like fruit and sin all mixed into one beautiful package. We look into each other’s eyes and before anything can be said, I try to store away this moment of pure perfection.

With her hands still in my hair, Ciara starts to move closer… She straddles me and sits on my lap, but not quite on top of
it.
My male instincts want to grab her and move her so close to me that we cannot know whose heartbeat is the one we hear. So close, that the air fails to circulate in between us, and no one would know where her skin begins and mine ends, in a seamless body full of passion, heat and desire.

I force my hands to land on her thighs, and I squeeze gently. Still looking at her eyes, I ask her, “Ciara, what are you doing?”

“I thought I was being pretty obvious.” A small side-smile appears on her glossy lips.

“This may not be a good idea.” I found myself saying in a painful show of resistance.

“Traxx…” She whispers. “I’m here for you. Not part-time, not sometimes, not when I feel like it or when you want to be distracted. I’m here for you always.
Always.
Whatever happens, there will be no regrets on my part, as it shouldn’t be on your part. Who knows? You may like it.”

“Ciara…” I swallow hard. “Your eyes… The way your eyes are looking at me… You are seeing the real me and you want me, still. Your eyes are like a summer’s midnight sky, a pair of jewels that make me the luckiest bastard in the fucking world.”

Smiling, she takes a deep breath. She scoots closer,
hell yeah
, a lot closer than before. I feel her weight fully unload on top of me. Wrapping her arms around the back of my neck we are so close that, when I breathe, my chest’s raising up and down cause her to move as well. I find that I like having her close like this on top of me. I fucking love it.

“Traxx… We can’t keep denying us from each other.” She lands a gentle kiss on my left cheek. “We deserve to know what this could be like.” Another one on the right cheek. “I’m not going to say that it will be easy, but I know for sure that it will be worth it.” Her succulent lips are now barely a breath away from mine. Anguish makes its presence known inside my head, as I struggle to decide what the right thing to do is. She carefully looks at me, and I tighten up the grip I have on her thighs. They are my anchor and if I let go of them there will be no other options, I will not only take this woman - I will brand her. I will possess her. I will ruin her the same way she’s ruining me for anyone else. Her lips move and I try to make my brain clear the lust fog and listen coherently.

“Marcy doesn’t define you, Traxx.
You define you
. Be yourself. Stop the self-bashing and self-hate. If you don’t want to be the Traxx of your past, you don’t have to be. Leave that Traxx behind you. Take all the goodness you have to offer and move forward. Make a new trail and lead the way so that when you look back, you can feel proud of who you’ve become.

“I’m not asking for a lifetime, Traxx. Only one night. Tonight. Let’s make it memorable. Not like those one night stands from your past, but a special night where we give
us
to each other one hundred percent. I want you to experience something beautiful. I want to give that to you.”

She kisses me gently on the side of my mouth.

Fuck!

I tried! Hell, I tried so hard but I’m only fucking human. This girl… She makes me feel things deep inside my chest. Things I’ve never felt before but they are so good, I don’t want to ever stop.

My hands finally let go of their self-imposed prison. One goes directly to her waist and the other to the back of her neck. Now they have the control they’ve been wanting. My palms fill with her skin, my thoughts of restraint and proper behavior float away, leaving me in completely and utterly raw form. As I pull her slowly, closer to me until our mouths are perfectly aligned, I finally let go, crushing her lips with mine, fast and furious. This kiss is powerful, strong, sensual and freeing. That’s the moment when I allow myself to feel unbound and happy, to let this
thing
between us consume me all the way to my bones.

His brown eyes have gotten darker, filled with desire and lust. I’m so close,
so close
to him that in every breath I take, I inhale his masculine scent, and
I want it
, I want him to mark me, brand me, fuse me to him. Do with me as he pleases. I want to lose control and find myself in a world where there’s only him and me. I speak from the heart. We will never find out what this thing is, unless we explore it, and I’m sitting here ready to let go of everything I feel. I’m ready to let him have me. Yes, I’m willingly giving myself to him because I don’t think I could walk away even if I wanted to. And just for the sake of clarification, I want to be right where I am. There is no better place than on top of this beautiful man who I have grown to care so much for.

Finally after what seemed like forever, his lips crashed with mine. Tender and wanton, soft and firm, expert and curious all at the same time. An explosion of longing, a union of cravings that finally starts to diffuse the edge we were threading before now.

My hands tangled in his hair, his fists pulling mine to get me closer still. We fill each other with touch, leaving words out of this equation of parallel desire and passion. When the temporary assault on my lips slows, he moves to my jawline, following the defined edge of bone and skin and leaving an angry trail caused by his unshaven face. I’m enjoying every second of this. When his purposeful lips find a particular spot on my neck, the kissing starts all anew. I feel his tongue marking me right below my ear, where I his hot breath collides with my wet skin causing me to shiver. His deep voice interrupts his actions and all I can think is that I need more of him.

“Shhh, baby, it’s okay, I will keep you warm… I need to taste
you
.”

Gently, he bites and runs the edge of his teeth down my neck, ending by kissing me first on my shoulder, then lower and lower still, until he reaches the upper curve of my breast.

“Are you sure this is what you want? I can’t promise tomorrow, Ciara, all I have is right now. Is that going to be enough? If not just tell me to stop, baby, and as much as it would fucking kill me, I would do it for you.”

The sincerity in his eyes gives me pause for a millisecond. I know what I want, who I want. Even if it’s only for tonight, I had come to terms with that possibility. I’m unable to answer in any other way but looking at him trying to emulate everything I’ve felt for him all these years, words escape me so I do the next best thing and capture his lips with mine once again. I can’t get enough of him. I’m living in the moment, without fear or regret. A whimper surfaces between the two of us.

“Fuck, Ciara, it’s not fair for you to make those sexy sounds. When I hear you do that, it makes me want to do bad things to you, bad things that you’d enjoy so much you’ll beg me to do them again.”

“Traxx, I need you.” While I kiss him, my hand moves between our bodies and glides against his pants until it finds the one thing between us standing up. I grab it confidently and stroke it from bottom to top, enjoying its length and thickness against my hand.

Hissing, his hands move to cup my breasts and pinch my nipples while licking and gently biting them. “Are you trying to get ahead, baby? You are not playing fair, girl. You are forcing me to be naughty in order to even out the game.”

His hands take the cups of my bra and simultaneously pull down on them, exposing my bare breasts to him.

“Fuck! Look at these perky tits.” He sucks on one of my nipples. “They are so hard for me.” He moves on to the other one. “I think they are trying to compete with my dick to see who gets harder.” I feel the heat move up to my cheeks. “There it is! I love it when you blush.”

“Traxx,” I grab his face and make him look at me. “I
need
you.”

“Baby, tell me what you need? I want to give you anything, anything at all, but I can’t read your mind, so you need to talk and tell me.”

I growl on desperation, because he wants to make me talk dirty and I’m not good at it. So I decide that I need to show him. Covering his hand with mine, I move it south. We encounter a bit of resistance on the waist due to my yoga pants, but driving on, I get him to the area that’s drenched with want.

“Shit baby, you are so ready. I have bad news and good news. Which one do you want first?” I take my hand out of my pants and leave his there, letting him to gently touch around my needy parts but not putting pressure on anything specific, causing me to move around some, to see if I can persuade him to get to the goods faster.

“Tell me the good one.” I whisper-talk to his ear.

“The good news is that I know exactly what to do in this situation.”

I smile. That’s fucking great news. Like I had any doubts. “And the bad one?”

“I can’t let our first time take place on this tiny couch. There are plenty of things I’m about to do to you, and I need space and comfort.” He gets a hold of my ass and swiftly lifts me with him, which causes me to giggle. “Hold on Nibblet, we are moving this to your bed.”

Tightening my legs which are now wrapped around his waist and once again I cross my arms behind his neck. We are now forehead to forehead and nose to nose. “You are so hot, Ciara, I need you. I want you so badly. It feels different. Being with you is special in ways I cannot yet say.”

“I know. I feel it too.” I try to convey the sincerity of this truth. He smells so good, clean and masculine. I place my face on the crook of his neck and inhale deeply. When we get to the bedroom, he’s gentle as he releases me on the edge of the bed, and kneels in front of me.

After another hot kiss, Traxx places his thumb on my lips and traces the lines around them. I can see the concern on his face, when he softly looks into my eyes and asks, “Are you sure?”

I nod with certainty, and start to remove my yoga pants when he interrupts me. “Oh, hell no, I’m doing it. You have no idea how many times I imagined this moment happening and I’m going to enjoy every fucking second of it. You are mine, Ciara, to do as I please, and I promise, you will love it.” He gives me his panty dropping smile and I smile back at him. He grabs my hair and guides my mouth to his again, his tongue moving in and out, touching mine. With it and his expert lips, he tastes everything, my tongue, my lips, the roof of my mouth, the inside of my lips where they meet the gums. I didn’t expect that to feel sexy, but it does.

“Scoot up, baby, I’m getting ready to see your entire sweet body, and planning to taste every fucking inch of it.”

I do as requested. His dirty talk has me soaked between my legs. The anticipation is killing me and it’s the best, sweetest torture I’ve ever been under. As I move up in the bed, he’s removing the rest of his clothes, leaving on a pair of red boxer briefs with black band and trim. I can see a small wet spot at the tip of his large dick and I want to taste it so I reach out for it.

“Nope, not yet… Lean back down. Good, just like that. If you touch me right now I may lose my shit, we gotta do this in a proper way, baby.”

Leaning on top of me, he supports his weight with his hands so that his body is not touching mine, and it feels so cold. I need his touch to set me on fire. Wanting something, any kind of connection, I reach for his uppers arms and hold on to him.

“I’m going to taste you now. Be a good girl and tell me when it feels good and when you want more, mmmkay?” He lowers his body and I feel like I’m way overdressed, but let him do his thing.

He starts to kiss my chest and then entertains my breasts taking care of my hard nipples by sucking hard and after releasing them, his teeth gently go around each one with the perfect amount of pressure earning him a runaway whimper. He’s such a biter – I would have never pictured that! Feeling like I’m falling behind, my hands rub all over his back, his shoulders, his hair…

“Traxx, I need
more
…”

“Mmm… I know… My little minx is getting desperate, huh?” I shake my head up and down. He leans down and reached for my bra’s hooks and swiftly disposes of it.

“Now we are getting there, I love your tits. They are the perfect handful. I’m gonna love to see them jiggle and can’t wait to hold on to them when I take your pussy from behind.”

I feel the heat rushing to my face.

“There it is. I’m going to live the rest of my life just looking forward to every moment I get to put that on your beautiful face.” I smile and look away because I’m embarrassed with the dirty talk.

I feel a hand cupping me between my legs. “There is no looking away in this game, sweetheart.” That gets my attention. He moves his fingers to the seam of my pants and slides them painfully slow to each one of my sides, then he starts to pull my yoga pants down. When my pink thong with black lace ribbon is revealed, I see his dick twitching.

“Well, hello there, Mr. Twitch.”

He smiles and continues. “I’m not sure if I want to take it off or just move it around out of the way.” He pulls my thong string up and to the side. “Let’s play it by ear, shall we begin?”

I nod frantically.
Finally.

“If I remember correctly, I think someone was saying something about needing more? Is that still the case?”

Another nod.

He holds the string to the side with one hand and then with the other, uses one of his skilled fingers to enter me as deep as possible, the anticipation makes me jump a little, until his finger is all the way in and I can feel him circling around, looking for my sweet spot.

“Hell, yeah, baby you are so ready for me, I love it.”

He pulls out his finger, way too soon, but when he brings it to his mouth and sucks hard on it, I feel a new wave of heat flood between my legs.

“Mmm, salty and sweet. It’s fucking perfect.” His head lowers between my legs and I let the man begin his magic.

Traxx places my legs over his shoulders and his arms go around them to keep me secure in place.
Oh, my!
He starts by licking me from bottom to top, and then he goes around a couple of times, ending with firm flicks on my clit. The pleasure is more than I can take so my hands leave the strangling hold I had on the blanket and replace it with his hair. My hips start to move into a game of finders keepers, where I want to be the victor.

“Hell yeah, baby, you like that?”

I mumble something unintelligible but it resembles a yes, so he keeps going, adding humming and a little chin action where his five o’clock shadow causes havoc on my pussy. “Fingers! Please?”

He chuckles and I feel his lock on one of my thighs give away so that he can bring his hand around and penetrate me with his fingers. The other hand continues to open up full access to the bundle of nerves being attacked by his mouth and tongue. He’s alternating from sucking to licking. On the inside, his fingers have found the right spot and it’s all too much… Too much… Everything’s tightening up and then… I break apart into beautiful stars flying all over the place invading the darkness of my closed eyes. I ride the waves and shake until I can’t take it anymore, then I gently release his hair, which until now, I hadn’t realized I was pulling.

Traxx’s kissing my abdomen, building a line of kisses that divides the left side of my body from the right one, slowly moving up my chest, neck, until he reaches my lips. When he kisses me, I taste the remains of myself all over his mouth and it’s sexy as hell.

“You are very vocal when in the throes of ‘pleasure.’”

“I’m not vocal. You have me confused with someone else.”

“Baby, that’s impossible. I heard you loud and clear and I enjoyed every single little sound you made while I was taking care of you. But we are barely getting started. That was only the opening act. Are you ready for the headliner? I heard he’s a hardass and gives as good as he takes.” He winks at me.

“Seriously? Conceited much?” I place my hands on his chest where I can feel the beating of his heart and it just makes everything a lot more real. “I like it that you have not lost your confidence in the sack, ‘cause I can benefit a lot out of it.”

He gets off the bed and a few seconds later comes back without underwear and with a golden pouch on his hand. I sit up and try to get my lips around his cock before he wraps it up. Traxx grabs my chin and pulls my face up so he can look at me.

“You can’t do that right now… I’m way too needy and I, well… I will not last five seconds if your lips touch me
there.
” He points to a very hard dick that’s waiting for his reward. I lick my lips when I see a droplet of cum on his tip, and gently reach out my hand and with my index finger I wipe it clean. The loaded finger comes back towards my mouth, where I finally get a taste of him.

“
Fuuuck!”
He growls at me while I smile back. It’s fair game. Using his teeth, he rips open the foil and has the condom on before I can blink. “C’mere baby.” He gives me a burning kiss as I slowly fall back with him on top. He pulls the side strings of my thong and rips them up, pulling to one side in order to remove the very wet pink thong I still managed to somehow keep on until now.

“I hope you didn’t like them too much. I needed to get to you fast.”

My nails rake his hard back starting on his shoulders and ending on his ass. Using his knee, he opens me up and lines himself perfectly on my opening. His hands go to either side of my head when he starts going in slow and steady.