Dismantled (Girls on Top #2) (11 page)

From afar, the creepers are watching every moment of Traxx’s life. They sit at a booth on the opposite side of the bar. Although they could not hear one word of the conversations going on at Traxx’s table, they were keeping tabs on everything everyone was doing.

“How late do you think they are going to stay?” One creeper asks the others.

“It doesn’t matter. We are not leaving until he does.”

“I hate to see him with the others. It was better when he sat at the bar and drank himself into oblivion.” Another one says angrily.

“Do you think he’s happy?”

“Not yet, but I think he’s starting to want to be happy. You need to remember that our goal is to ruin his life. No matter how much he looks for it, I promise you, he will never find peace, because we will take it all away as soon as it seems he’s found it.”

“What about that girl, the blond one?”

“She’s been a part of that group since the beginning. There seems to be additional interest, but for now we keep doing what we’re doing until it’s time to execute our plan.”

All the others look at their leader and nod in agreement as they continue their vigil in complete and absolute silence.

Ciara’s text came in mid-morning, right before my alarm went off. I was already awake, thanks to the recurring bad dreams. I never get a full night of sleep anymore. Might as well get up, because I need to make my way to the gym before we go out. That sentence feels so foreign to me, “going out” is not a true statement. I don’t need to become delusional into thinking that Ciara and I are dating. I’ve never dated anyone and I have no idea what that’s like. However, there’s something there between the two of us. I feel it and I know she does too. I remove the bed covers, and make my way into the bathroom. I take off my briefs and place them in the laundry basket. After using the facilities, I think to myself that morning wood really sucks sometimes. Opening the hot water, I walk to the counter and look at myself in the mirror. I’ve always taken care of myself physically, and my body shows the results. After I put some toothpaste on my toothbrush and start my daily routine, I start flexing my muscles. I haven’t been working out as much as I used to, but my body does show dedication and a lot of time spent on it. My six-pack ripples easily, and if I put my arm up, I can see my external oblique muscles rippling as well. As I finish brushing my teeth, I come to the conclusion that the one set of muscles that need my immediate care are the ones sitting at attention in between my legs.

Entering the shower, I let the hot water and steam envelop me. I grab the shower gel and put a hefty amount on my palm. Taking a deep breath, I palm my cock while in my head I imagine it’s
her
in front of me doing the deed. I feel it come to life and twitch all on its own as my brain replays the images of the last few days, images filled with her beauty and grace. I let my imagination roam free. My hand squeezes harder, as Ciara is kissing my chest and then my lips, then as soon as I engage her, the kiss becomes frantic, needy, heady. With my eyelids closed, there’s no actuality, only the dreams I want to wish into reality and the feel of heavy silk on my hand. I stroke it, slowly at first and imagine it’s her hand urging me to come to the brink of satisfaction.

Grunting loudly, I bite my lip as I grip my dick harder, increasing the speed of the movements. I lean my free hand on the tiled wall to keep my balance, as the intensity overtakes me, making me realize the need for her is stronger than I thought it was. My eyes shut tight, my hand is pumping harder, faster. My mouth opens to grunt out her name while finally, my cum shoots out hard and fast for several seconds. I let my body lean on the shower wall, because the power of the moment makes my knees buckle to the point that I can hardly support my own weight. I force my eyes open only to see my shit going down the drain, and again I’m alone, and my chest feels as empty as my ball sack is at this moment. Perhaps now I can think more clearly or at least with the right head. Regardless, I still wish she was here with me.

After texting Traxx and getting ready for today’s adventure, I made a quick run to Starbucks to get myself a Grande Caffé Latte with an extra shot of espresso. For Traxx, I get a Tall Caffé Americano, black. I also order a croissant that I start to munch as soon as I pay the bill. The mounting sexual frustration only makes me want to eat everything in sight. I haven’t had the time to properly take care of my needs, either.

When I get back to Traxx’s place, he opens the door and as I walk through, he grabs a hold of the last piece of croissant as I was getting ready to eat it and he pops it into his mouth.

“Hey! I was going to eat that!” He takes a large sip of his coffee.

He shrugs his shoulders “You snooze, you lose!” I give him a nasty look.

“This coffee is perfect, thank you.”

He distracts me momentarily by licking his lips like only real men can, his tongue barely coming out of his mouth to slide over his bottom lip. I immediately imagine that tongue licking other lips and I feel the heat pooling between my legs. He catches me staring and smirks. I try to recover from the brief moment of weakness by turning around and sitting on the couch and quickly crossing my legs in an effort to stop the need in my southern parts. I look at him guiltily. “That’s okay, ‘cause now you’re gonna buy me lunch.”

Smiling knowingly he doesn’t hesitate to answer me. “Okay. That’s a deal, where do you want to go?”

“Well, we have to be at the place by 2:00 p.m., so let’s go somewhere where we can eat fairly fast. How about sushi?”

“Ciara, seaweed does nothing for me. I’m a growing boy, remember?”

“Growing boy, my butt! You’ve already used up all your growth hormones, buddy. How much bigger do you think you can get?” I love to tease him and he seems to be in a great mood.

“Uh, I dunno, another 10 to 12 inches?” He looks at me and raises one eyebrow giving me a knowing look. At first I don’t quite get it, so I look at him, puzzled. A couple of seconds later, I absolutely get it, my eyes get as big as the eyes of a lemur and I my face turns as red as a hot pepper. He starts to laugh.

“Sorry, sweetheart, you asked…”

“Ugh, really Traxx? Okay, nevermind. How about we go eat burgers or wings?”

“Ummm, yeah, that’s more like it. Let me go put on my boots.”

“Hey, where is Notso? Have you seen him today?”

“That lazy bum’s still sleep.”

“Lucky dog! Wish I could sleep late like that.”

“We can always call this whole thing off and take a nap. I have a big bed.”

“I know what size bed you have, I helped you pick it at the store – remember?”

“Ha! Yes, I remember. The sales people were losing their shit because we kept trying out the mattresses – all three of us: Notso, you and me. That was fun.” I smile as he walks away and think back to those days, where he didn’t have monsters peeking out of his nightmares, making his life difficult. But today seems like we are going to make progress.

The apartment is way too clean. What are these guys up to?

“Hey Traxx, how come your place is so clean? That’s not your and Notso’s M.O., you guys are super messy.” I yell from the living room.

“Oh, we decided to hire a cleaning agency. A lady comes in a few times a week and takes care of everything. She’s awesome.”

“But, how does she gets in here, since you guys work every weekday?”

“She’s got a key. It was part of the contract.”

The place looks immaculate. “She’s doing a great job.”

After a few minutes, I’m finished with my coffee and move to the kitchen to throw away the cup in the trash. As I pass by the entrance to the hallway, I glance towards Traxx’s bedroom and get a glimpse of his nice ass as he’s bending over putting his boots on. I say a silent prayer so I don’t jump his sexy ass while we are out and about.

I return to the living room just in time as he comes out of the bedroom.

“Ready? He asks me.

“Heck yeah! Let’s go.”

After he locks his door, as it has become our habit, he extends his hand and I reach for it. It’s quite common among all of us to hold hands or embrace each other in a lot of hugs. We are a touchy feely kind of group. That’s because we have always been more than friends. We are family. Although I must confess that before the incident, I used to get my share of hugs from Notso and Traxx not so much. I tried to stay away from him since I was so attracted to him but I knew it was not going to go anywhere. Nowadays, I feel he needs to know he is loved and cared for in order to help him put his life back together.

In his truck, I play the DJ role and find new songs by some of the alternative bands we enjoy listening to. He’s tapping on the steering wheel and I’m humming. Both of us are moving our heads to the rhythm of the music.

We get to the restaurant and Traxx warns me he’s getting the door and runs out of the truck to my side. I love it when guys remember their manners and make us feel special. We walk in and get a table. After we place our orders, we start chatting.

“So, Ciara, have you heard from your parents lately?” My dad is a prominent lawyer in Birmingham, Alabama. My mom spends most of her days donating her time and money to many charitable organizations. She has a heart of gold. So many of my friends had a less than wanted childhood, but I love my parents. I had it really good growing up.

“Yes. I talk to them every week. They want me to go visit soon, but between my work hours and all the graduate workload, it’s impossible.” Traxx frowns and looks down at the table. Impulsively, I reach for his hand and cover it with mine. “Hey, what’s going on up there?”

“Nah. It’s nothing really. I feel bad that all of you – specially you – are putting so much time and effort trying to help me get back to the way I was before… you know?”

I look at him straight into his eyes when I tell him, “Traxx, by now you’ve got to know that we do it because we love you, and because you are worth our time and effort. We wouldn’t want it any other way.”

His voice gets really serious and it’s barely a whisper. “Ciara, I don’t even know if I’m worth it. Most of the time I feel like I’m going crazy. I hear and see things and I can’t trust myself to know if they are real or not.”

“Traxx, you were witness to a terrible thing. Everything you are telling me is normal for people that have witnessed trauma like you have. At least you aren’t alone. You have me, you have all of us.” He turns his palm up and now he’s holding my hand and his thumb is rubbing my fingers. Even unconsciously, he offers me comfort, when he’s the one in need of it.

“I have a confession to make. I’ve come to realize that I don’t like the person I used to be. I want to be better. I want to do better… But I’m scared you guys are not going to like the person I want to be. I’m not ready for all of you to leave me behind.” He looks at me with decision and purpose in his eyes. “I’m still trying to figure everything out, Ciara, but I need all of you. I don’t think I can make it by myself. Do you think you can all let go of the Traxx you know and love? Let go of the person I used to be and come to terms with the fact that I’m not
him
anymore
?”

The waitress comes by to bring our drinks. We thank her and continue our conversation.

“Traxx, regardless of how you used to behave, we know the person you really are because it’s all right here.” I scoot closer and put my free hand on his heart. “The real you has always been defined by the goodness of your heart, regardless of your crazy behavior. Someone who’s inherently good always comes out a victor in anything they pursue as long as they make all their decisions with their heart. When you put your heart in it, everything else naturally falls into place.” I give him a sly smile. “And if it doesn’t, you have me to kick you around until you get where you need to be. I’m not going to let you stray. We are in this together. Yes, your life is in pieces, all over the place, but I’m the best damned assembler you’re ever going to meet.” I grab him gently by the back of his neck and get a hold of his hair. Looking at him eye to eye, I speak with conviction. “We’ve got this! Okay?” He nods. “Say it with me.”

“We’ve got this.” He repeats. His lips part to the most sincere smile I’ve seen from him in a very long time. “Thank you, Nibblet, I needed that.” He tells me.

“If you don’t quit calling me Nibblet, I’m going to have to start the kicking part sooner rather than later.” He laughs at me.

The waitress comes back with our orders. “Traxx, look at me. I need you to remember what I’m about to say. The tragedies of our past are stepping stones for us to reach the happy endings of our tomorrows. Please remember that. Guilt is not going to help you become a better person. Acceptance will.”

“I never thought about it that way.”

I smile and grab a piece of my honey barbeque boneless wing. “Don’t you forget it! Now, hurry up and eat because we have to make a stop prior to getting where we are going.”

“You and your mysteries! I must confess that after all the fun we had last time, I’m ready to see what we are doing today.”

I wink at him and then we chat a lot about nothing in general: music, movies, work… All I could think about is how happy I was that he wanted to change and become a better person. My heart was full of pride. Now, all I have to do is plan how and lay out the groundwork, and he will follow.