Dismantled (Girls on Top #2) (25 page)

Later, I feel relaxed after a hot shower and clean clothes that are not ill fitting. The TV is on and I’m randomly changing the channels. It feels weird being on my own, as if I’m a little lost. I guess when life is planned for you day in and day out, you lose your decision making abilities. I only have enough money to cover the motel for a few weeks and then I will be on the streets.

“You will never amount to anything!”

That damned voice again. Years of being a victim of hate will continue to play inside your head even if you are long gone and far away from that situation. It’s hard to believe that I was able to escape from a sadistic mother, only to unwillingly fall prey to a sadistic motherfucker like him. I would much rather be disemboweled while alive and breathing, than to ever let anyone have that power over me again. I allow myself a moment to feel sad and lonely. I don’t dwell on it long. I have survived this far and will continue to do so. I can’t afford to trust anyone. The friends I left behind are better not knowing what happened and it is better for me to keep it that way.

As I am deep in my thoughts trying to ignore the memories that keep oozing out of the vault inside my head, I remind myself that I have options. Life will get in the way, but I have the power to decide how to handle MY life, and I choose to survive. I choose to be happy.

In that moment, I hear it. A commercial on TV. Not any random commercial, but what is about to become my lifeline.

“There is strong, and there is ARMY Strong.” The narrator says.

Wow!
A light bulb turns on inside my head. The United States Army. The idea keeps playing in my head. I can join and they provide room, food, training, and financial help for school. All this and I get a paycheck! If I get lucky enough I could even be assigned at a far away post, perhaps in another country. I roll off the bed and open the nightstand drawer pulling out the phonebook at the same time. I quickly locate the telephone number and address of the nearest recruiting office. I jot it down on a piece of paper and place it inside my backpack. Since it is still early in the afternoon, I call a taxi and get ready to go. For once in my life, I know exactly what I need to do.

“Hey doofus, stop throwing like a sissy and put some arm behind that ball!” I yell at my best friend Traxx. It is a nice day on campus. We got here yesterday and I was glad to get away from all the family drama. I don’t think I will be going back anytime soon. My birthday was two weeks ago – the big 21 – and my trust fund has kicked in. If I don’t blow it, I will be just fine. I am done with my parents trying to run my life and telling me what to do, who I need to hang out with, or not hang out with, who to date, what to study. Done!

“I’m ready. Anytime now, Colton!” Traxx is trying to get my attention and I realize the football is in my hand.

“You know, Traxx, I actually don’t feel like doing this. Let’s go get some food.”

“In that case” Traxx says, “I gotta go by the house first to change into a clean shirt. Sweaty pits makes for a not so attractive quality for the girls, if you know what I mean.” He winks at me with a naughty smile.

Traxx Maxwell became my best friend when we were 10 years old and he caught me breaking the glass to one of the school’s fire alarms and pulling the knob just as he was coming around the corner. We looked at each other and took off running together, hiding outside behind the bushes stifling our giggles until everyone was outside, too, and we could blend back in with our classes. We have been inseparable since then.

“You are always thinking about scoring, you are such a man whore!”

“I am NOT a whore!” Traxx fakes disgust. “I’m just someone who loves to try free samples. If a girl wants to give it away, who am I to deny her?” A smile breaks across his face.

“Good thing you believe in using condoms or one day your dick would break out with some nasty warts and fall off.” I smile back at him. “I don’t have a problem with you sampling… ‘goods’… but don’t try to shove your ho-hos my way. I can get my own sampling. I’m just a tiny bit more particular about what I wrap around my dick. I want to be one hundred percent put together when we graduate. I don’t want to have to carry my junk inside a pickle jar.”

“Ha, ha. Really funny dorkface!” he smacks my arm. “It is not my fault that you only crave a certain type. You really need to broaden your horizons because pretty girls who don’t want to run your life are quite hard to find.”

“Not as hard as you think. I get plenty.” I said.

“All girls end up trying to run your life.”

“That’s when I break it off. I have been dealing all my life with my parents trying to tell me what to do, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let some girl do the same shit. I will never commit to a girl like that. On a second thought, I will never commit to a girl. Period.” I find myself getting a bit upset at the thought of living my life dependent on a girl’s approval. Hell no!  I get plenty of offers and go out with any girl I want. I’m just choosier than Traxx because I actually like to have “a conversation before the bedroom.” During and after, they always want to please me and they think their sex is better than any other sex I’ve had. Wrong! It’s all pretty much the same. And, I enjoy the shit out of it while it’s happening and I let go the moment is over. It never fails. They always think they are the one to tame me. That I will call them back. Newsflash: I can’t nor want to be tamed.

Traxx looks at me and says “Whatever makes you happy. I’m just saying maybe you are putting too much into it. You need to be more like me: Give them one night that they will never forget and don’t double dip.”

“Traxx you are such a class act…” We look at each other and start laughing.

Just as we are about to cross the street, we hear this roar – a motorcycle. We stop to let the guy go by. It’s a nice black and white sports bike. I’m getting ready to look at the make and model when it slows down as it passes in front of us, and I realize that there’s no way in hell this is a guy.  The rider’s chest is the size of a couple of grapefruits, followed by an impossibly small waist and the nicest ass I have seen in a while.

Traxx and I look at each other at the same time, with surprised expressions on our faces. Then we immediately frown. Our eyes follow the biker girl until she stops to park not too far away from where we are standing. I’m in a trance and so is Traxx.

“A girl on a sports bike wearing tight ass jeans! That’s the hottest thing I’ve seen all year!” Traxx is trying to get my attention, but it’s certainly not working as my eyes are fixated on that girl. I have got to see what she looks like!

As she dismounts from the bike, she pulls her helmet strap off. Her back is to me – I can’t see her face.
I need to see her face.
I know if I don’t hurry up and act now, Traxx is going to go for it and get the upper hand. I slam the football on his chest and I tell him I’m headed that way and to throw me the ball when I reach her. He smiles knowingly. What an ass.

I jog towards the girl and as I’m getting closer, she takes the helmet off. She places a hand around her neck under her hair, and pulls.  Shiny brown hair cascades like water to the middle of her back. My breath hitches a little. Slowly – as if she knows what she’s doing to me - she turns around and looks over her shoulder directly into my eyes. Suddenly I can’t breathe, I know I’m staring, but I can’t help myself. Sun-kissed skin, blue-green eyes, high cheekbones and full glossy lips shaped like a heart and so plump that they make a small “o” in the middle. At first her lips don’t move, but then… as if she was not cute enough, I see her lips curve into a small smile ending with a dimple and a full set of bright pearly whites. I am about to say something when I hear far away someone calling my name. Next, there’s a ‘thud’ and something hits me on the back of my head, making me lose my balance. The next thing I know, I’m eating grass.
Great! Dammit, Traxx!

Lying on the grass, I realize the situation can’t get much worse. So I’m going with it. I turn to my side first, it helps me appreciate her body. It could be confused with a guitar.  I get to look at those curves and legs that go on forever. Too bad they are covered by some impossibly tight jeans. I find myself wishing that I could inspect the whole package up close and personal. That’s when I felt my dick trying to get my attention.  Hell! This is not the time to get a boner. I close my eyes and try to think of something else. Suddenly I hear slow, deliberate steps getting closer to me. The sunshine that hits my face is covered by a shadow. I take a deep breath and finally decide to open my eyes. When I look up, the sea within her eyes is staring at me. I feel really hot and I think I may be embarrassed. There is some type of energy going through my body while she’s looking at me, and I notice there is a puzzled look in her eyes. We can’t stop looking at each other, when suddenly we both shiver lightly and it ends the spell.

She decides to break the ice and smiles at me. “Wow! I didn’t know I had the power to knock someone down just by
looking
at them. I must add this special skill to my resume.” She winks –
winks at me!
-  “You are the first guy I’ve met who decides to make a great and lasting first impression by falling at my feet
before
we even have a conversation.” She says with a sarcastic tone. And then a little more serious she asks “Are you okay?”  Me? I am mesmerized. I can’t talk. All I see is that gorgeous smile with the cute dimple. It dawns on me that all I want to do in this very moment is to slowly lick and kiss that dimple. She has perfect white teeth, a small and round button nose. Long dark lashes and those plump, glossy lips. I better pull out my “A” game.

“Yes.” I grunt. “Did it work?” I said, sounding a little too hopeful and giving her my best shy smile.

“Nope.” She responds and extends her hand to help me up and when I give her my hand, I notice that she effortlessly and swiftly pulls me up to my feet. She’s strong. Her touch makes me feel like I am on fire. I look at her questioningly and I notice she’s looking at our hands, does she feel it too? Once I’m up, her hand leaves mine – it’s too soon, I think. Then just as swift as she came to check on me, she turns around and starts walking away. I again notice her body’s every hugging curve being held tightly by her riding gear, and those exquisite long legs covered by tall boots.

“Hey! Wait!” I call after her as she reaches to get a messenger bag that was tied to the back of her seat. “What is your name?”

She turns, looks at me with those blue-green eyes, gives me a tiny smile and says “Unfortunately for you, I don’t feel like sharing today. I guess you are going to have to do some difficult, ball breaking detective work, you know, if you
really
want to know my name.” And then she swiftly jogs away, across the street and into the building.

And just like that, a dare has been issued. She obviously has no idea who she’s messing with. At that very moment, Traxx gets to me while I’m staring at her getting farther and farther away, creating a distance I don’t want to have. “Hey Colton, what the hell happened? What was that about?”

“That my friend… is my new challenge. Come on, let’s get changed and get out of here. You are lucky I won’t beat your ass for knocking me down with that ball.”

“That’s what you get for not paying attention, bro. It ain’t my fault you didn’t take your eyes away from her to see the ball coming your way. I did call your name… Hey, you ummm… have grass between your teeth…” He points at where the grass is, then he proceeds to laugh his ass off, turns around and runs like hell.  I clean my teeth with my index finger, find the green culprit, and shake my head in disbelief. What an idiot I must have looked like in front of her! Giving up, I run and follow Traxx to the truck.

* * *

Well, that guy was strange and… sexy! I have met my share of good looking guys in the past, but there’s just something about this one… Maybe it’s the combination of that jet black hair and blue-gray eyes with thick eyelashes and a manly set of eyebrows. Maybe it was how cute and defenseless he looked while he was down on the grass. Or that one cute little crooked tooth in his lower jaw against a perfect top row. Dammit! I need to stop thinking like a dog in heat! Ugh! But… maybe it was that strong set of thighs, so muscular that all I could do was to picture myself sitting on top of them. Shit, it was probably all of the above thrown in with the body of a Greek God. He must have been, what? 6’5? A lot taller than me and I’m 5’8, which is four inches taller than the average American woman.

Stop, Brianna. There is no room in your life for that.

I came to study here with a purpose. I cannot stray away from my goal. Stop thinking about boys, they will only bring you trouble. And you need to avoid trouble. Focus. Remember your goals. That’s it. Maybe I need to go to the shooting range later in order to work out some of this tension.

I have been successfully hiding away for years. I left my safe haven in the US Army only to pursue my dream of attending Shoreline University. Thanks to the Army, I was able to build my confidence, learned about self-defense, weapons, and vehicles. I found out that I was strong inside, and that I can work hard to become strong on the outside as well. I spent a lot of time with guys. Guys can only bring drama into your life if you let them get close to your heart. So I learned to have friends with benefits. I could call on any of the guys I was friends with when I needed a sexual pick me up – no strings attached. It worked for me. Drama? I have had plenty of that shit to last me a lifetime.

I stop in front of the Registrar’s office, and as I walk in I put all thoughts of the grass-diving pretty boy out of my mind.
There is no time for that.

* * *

I walk into the apartment I share with my best friend, Ciara Collins. I hear the music playing. I don’t like to come home to a dead silent place. It gives me the creeps. Music soothes me, and Ciara spoils me when it comes to this. She had a surround sound system installed in the living room, and additional speakers throughout the apartment so that I can hear music anywhere within it. Right now “Pocket Full of Sunshine” by Natasha Bedingfield is playing.

Ciara and I were roommates in the Army, and we thought we were very lucky when we realized we both are huge Ocean Tides football fans and we wanted to finish our degrees here, in Pristina. This is a small town, about 15 minutes from the beach, located in the Gulf portion of Florida. Her family could not believe that she had joined the Army and left them, and it actually made them appreciate her a lot more than they used to.  She’s a daddy’s girl and she will be the first one to tell you that. The one good thing about it is that her dad does not hesitate to give her everything she needs or wants. Luckily, she does not act like a spoiled brat. She’s really down to earth and a sweet girl.

Ciara completed her Army term a few months before I did. She and I decided that after her visit home, she would go to Florida, find a job and also an apartment that we can share. She waited for me to finish my term and come to meet her. Sadly, I did not have a family to visit before I got here. I consider her my sister and imagine the bond we share is similar, if not stronger, than the love sisters would have for each other.

“Hi Brianna! How was your day? Did you accomplish everything you needed to do?” She smiles as she walks into the kitchen. She’s wearing a towel on her head and a robe and has freshly applied makeup.

“What’s up tramp?” I smile back at her and wink. She knows I’m kidding. I grab a cup from the cabinet and a coke from the pantry, and after a little ice I pour the soda into the cup. “Yeah, I did. I’m so ready for classes to start. The sooner they do, the sooner I can be busy. You know how antsy I get when I don’t have a purpose.” I pout a little to make my point stronger. I take a big swallow and walk into the living room. Ciara follows.

“Well, that is great news” She smiles.

“
What
is great news, exactly?”

“The fact that you are antsy and need something to do. Didn’t you get my text? Hurry up and get in the shower. We are going out!”

“I’m really not in the mood to party today. I have to go through my school papers and get everything ready because I have an early class in the morning.” I tell her while shrugging my shoulders and getting comfy on the couch.

“Oh! Did you get your schedule all fixed up? Are they going to give you credit for all the classes you took while you were in the Army?” She asks.

“Yeah, all but a couple of electives. It’s okay. It doesn’t affect my status as a Junior.  I like that eye shadow on you.”  She smiles big. Ciara is my complete opposite. She’s petite and I’m tall. Her eyes are like sapphires, mine are two toned: Green on the inside surrounding my pupils, and then more bluish throughout the rest of the irises.  She’s a natural blonde and I’m a brunette. But we follow the same principles and have been best friends for years.

“Thanks!” She smiles brightly while looking at her work of art in the mirror. “Go on, get ready!” She says. “It’s a small get together. This girl, Carrie, invited us when she came to get her dog at Pet Village today.” She gives me a look that means I need to get my butt off the couch and start moving. I still don’t want to go, but I will do it for her. I sigh loudly and roll my eyes to the back of my head and tell her to count me in.

When she moved here to Pristina, Florida, a new business was opening, a doggy day care called Pet Village, and she managed to score a job. She really doesn’t need the job because her family has plenty of money, but she likes to take care of the dogs and it gives her extra money that she can spend without having to explain things to her dad. When I finally arrived in town after months of waiting, she convinced her manager to hire me too. Ciara lets me pay rent, but I suspect she only charges me a small amount, because what I pay cannot be half of the rent this luxury complex charges. I don’t like the fact that I’m not paying my share, but trying to change the terms Ciara has set for this is like arguing with a cement wall. So I go along with it in order to make her happy.

An hour later we are all dolled up – me in dark slim jeans, platform silver sandals and a tight black halter top that makes my boobs pop. My body is well defined and somewhat muscular without bulging. Ciara’s is the same way. It’s one of the many benefits of getting up every morning and doing push-ups, sit-ups, and a run of at least two miles. I’d like to think I have curves in all the right places.  Ciara’s wearing a burnt orange strapless mini dress, cinched with a dark navy belt and dark blue platform sandals. We add a little bling with jewelry: watches, necklaces and bangle bracelets. We both chose to wear our hair down in long soft waves.

“I see you chose to wear school colors – smart choice!” I tell Ciara while giving her the once over look.

“Guilty as charged! And is not even football season yet!” she replies. We both giggle as we walk out the door.

“I assume I am the designated driver?” I ask her.

“But of course!” She says in her best
Grey Poupon
commercial accent and smiles. “We need to stop by the liquor store on the way there.”

“But of course!” I reply.  She drives a brand new white BMW 220i Coupe convertible with all the bells and whistles. I drive a metallic blue Ford Mustang GT convertible, slightly used, but all I care is that is not an automatic and it has a V8 engine. This baby runs like hell with just a tap on the gas. Yes, I love speed. I love everything that gets my adrenaline going. I should have become a stuntwoman, and if this school business doesn’t pan out like I expect, then that will become my plan B. For the moment, we take her Beemer. I love driving any vehicle, but this is certainly a smooth, sweet ride.

The radio is playing, the music is loud, and the weather is perfect. Suddenly I start thinking about the guy I saw this morning and I become really quiet. I can picture those strong arms around me, his cute smile and his mouth next to mine whispering sweet nothings against my lips. It’s not long before Ciara notices I am way too far gone inside my head.

“Spill it!” She says while staring at me. I give her an annoyed look at which she responds by opening her eyes really big and extending her right arm in a circular motion, meaning I better get with the program.

“There is nothing to tell, really…” I try to dance away from the subject. It doesn’t work. So I continue. “When I was going to see the advisor on campus, I noticed these 2 guys in front of the building getting ready to cross the street, so I slow down a little bit to take a good look at them… and my instincts were 100% accurate, they were so freakin’ hot! Both of them were tall and buff with nice chiseled features. I guess they thought I was a guy at first, because when I passed right in front, their mouths dropped open and they were staring hard, like they could not believe what was right in front of them! It was funny, actually.”

“The way that your butt lifts up when you are on that bike, really suits you! Didn’t I tell you? Uh! And you were wearing those tight jeans you love so much!” She says all that while wiggling her eyebrows up and down.

“I know, right?  Well, then I parked not too far away from where they were, and I hear a guy running towards me and getting closer. I see him in my peripheral vision, so I prepare myself to knock the shit out of somebody. I was getting ready to reach for my steel nunchucks from the inside of my boots, but I didn’t feel any threat, so I waited to see what was going to happen. I took a look over my shoulder to let him know I am onto him and he completely freezes in place and stares me down! He was the epitome of a god – Gor-ge-ous!  Black messy hair, a bit long but not too much. Blue-gray eyes, scruffy face, tall, tanned and buffed. Oh… and his lips, they were not thin or big, just the right size – made me want to sample, know what I mean?” I show her a huge grin.

“Yes! And then, what happened?”

“You are not going to believe it.” I turn my head with the most straight face I can muster and her facial expression becomes a serious one.

“What??? Spill it, you are killing me, Knuckles!” I roll my eyes at the term of endearment. Our friends started to call me ‘Knuckles” when I used brass knuckles to beat up a guy who tried to sexual assault me. He failed. I rearranged his face before I called the cops. No one other than Ciara knows that I never go anywhere without some kind of weapon. “Fine! I’m spilling. He got hit with a football in the head, lost his balance and fell face first on the grass.” We look at each other and bust out laughing.

“Are you for real?” She giggles.

“Real.”

“Did he say anything after that?” She asks me.

“I went to check on him, biting my tongue so I didn’t laugh out loud. I helped him up and then he tried to get my name, but I turned around and left him chowing down on some grass. I ran to my appointment, and by the time I came back out they were gone.” I shrugged.

We continued to laugh and joke while at the liquor store and all the way to the party. Even though I know my past is too complicated and that I don’t need to be with anyone, I silently wondered if I would see that guy again soon.