“We never talked about it.”
“We tried that one time.”
Nodding, I cuddled her tighter. “I saw how upset it made you and I made you stop talking. You were always so good at pretending to be normal and I wanted you to be able to pretend. I never could pretend very well.”
“Here with Cooper and Judd, we don’t have to pretend anymore. We have friends and a new family and we can stop lying.”
Nuzzling her hair, I forced a smile. “You made all of this happen, Farah. If you hadn’t come here and built a new life, I’d still be trapped with Dad or sold off to some bastards. Our lives would be trash, if you hadn’t gotten away and sent for me.”
Farah gave me a soft smile and I saw how much she needed to know I still looked up to her. How I still needed her.
“I never stopped believing we could have a good life. Sometimes, I felt like I was lying to myself, but I wouldn’t give up. We deserved to have what our parents stole from us. What those men stole from us. We can have it now.”
“Because of you.”
“And you. I might have fallen apart here, if I hadn’t known I had one person who loved the real me. I might never have let Cooper in, if not for you.”
“So we’re equally awesome then,” I said and Farah laughed in an exhausted way. “Did you sleep at all last night?”
“No. Coop was pissed and making plans and talking about how he wanted to kill those guys. I was mostly shocked that one of them would show up here.”
“It’s fate. The universe wanted them dealt with and now they will be. Judd said those guys hurt other girls and it was a normal thing for them. For Judd and Coop, it’s about revenge, but I just don’t want anyone else to get hurt like we did.”
Farah stared out at the rustling trees as a cold breeze shook everything around us. Finally, she admitted her fear.
“I worry about them going there and getting hurt.”
“I know, but this thing needs to end. Once they’re dead, the world will be a few shades more beautiful. I really need more beauty too.”
As Farah studied me, I saw a few emotions in her eyes. “It’s been harder for you.”
“It’s my fault. I never dreamed, so tomorrow always looked like it would be as crappy as today. Now, because I’m here, I’m learning to dream.”
“I’m glad you found Judd.”
“He said he loved me,” I said, smiling like crazy as I replayed his words in my head. “He also said he wants me to live with him. Judd was my first real dream and I can’t believe a life with him is coming true. I want to enjoy my life and it’ll easier to do that when those men are gone. When I never have to worry about seeing one at the store or know they’re hurting someone while I’m enjoying my life. I can’t be free until they’re destroyed.”
“I don’t know if I’ll ever believe they’re really gone.”
“Judd is going to show me on his phone,” I whispered. “He’s going to take pictures and show me. I shouldn’t want to see that, but I do. I need to know they begged like they made us beg. I want to watch them suffer and know they died remembering what they did to us. If Judd would let me, I’d go with them.”
Farah eyed me like I was someone she didn’t know. Then, she smiled. “When Cooper said he wanted you to work for him, I thought he was fucking nuts. I hated the idea and I whined until he backed off, but I was seeing you as a kid and you’re a woman now. A ballsy woman, so if you want to help Cooper with his business then I’m going to support that. Coop needs loyal people and there’s no one more loyal than you.”
Hugging her against me, I sighed. “For so many years, I wanted to tell you sorry because of what I did. I was afraid you wouldn’t forgive me though. Our parents were stupid to keep quiet about stuff that needs to be said and I’m glad we talked this morning.”
“When you moved out, I thought you might resent me for having nice things, even though I didn’t protect you.”
Wiping my wet cheeks, I reached out and dried hers too. “I love you and everything is going to be better now. We’re going to make life better.”
“As long as we have each other, we can face things. No more hiding.”
“No more lies. Our parents fucking suck and we shouldn’t be like them.”
When Farah nodded, I decided to blurt out my last big secret.
“Dad planned to pimp me out to pay his debts,” I whispered as the sounds of nearby kids startled us. “When he freaked out and hit me, he said I had a skill, but was too fucking uppity to use it.”
Farah’s expression hardened. “If we find him, I want him dead too. I never want him ruining our lives again.”
“I’ve hated him for a long time, but I thought you wouldn’t understand.”
“Until I got away, I don’t think I could admit what he really was and I hid from the truth. No more hiding.”
“We’ll never hide again.”
On that cold morning, just weeks before our first happy Christmas, we made a promise to be more than the lies and pain of our past. In that moment, we were freer than we’d ever been before. Looking into her tired eyes, I felt the change in Farah. The way she smiled made me think she saw the change in me too. We were officially starting over as new women.
Chapter Twenty Seven
The days with Judd out of town were eventful. After Aaron finished my tattoo, I spent twenty minutes staring in awe at how a beautiful work of art was on my body. Farah looked so impressed that I suspected she might get a tat one day too. While Lark had wanted to come along and see if Aaron could fix her partially complete wingless butterfly tattoo, step brother issues prevented her from joining us. As happy as I was to have my tattoo, I mostly wished Judd was there to tell me his opinion.
Staying over at Farah’s house allowed us lots of time to make wedding plans. With Skye out of the wedding, Farah was pressed to find a new bridesmaid since she wanted the same number as Cooper’s groomsmen. Once Lark came over for lunch and charmed everyone with her happy personality, Farah found her missing bridesmaid and my little group of friends felt complete.
Farah and I used those days alone to bond. We did each other’s hair and painted our nails. Staying up late, we talked about the sexy traits of our missing men. Afterwards, we shared a bed to avoid bad dreams. The anti-depressant might have kicked in too because I managed to go most of the time without overly negative thoughts. Even when I missed Judd the most, I didn’t automatically imagine him fucking a woman prettier than me.
Judd returned during the last hour of my Friday shift. Without seeing him coming as I wiped a table, I knew something was up because two large burly men flinched. Turning, I found Judd moving fast towards me. Before I could speak, his hands cupped my face and his lips were on mine. Murmuring at the deepening kiss, I tossed aside the wash towel and wrapped my arms around his waist. He felt like perfection.
Judd pulled away and stated to speak then his gaze focused on the two men watching us and smiling. His dark stare killed their enthusiasm and they returned to eating.
“Back less than a minute and you’re already losing me tips,” I teased, causing Judd to smile grudging. “You taste like peppermint.”
“I slept for shit and chewing gum keeps me alert.”
Caressing his lips, I couldn’t stop grinning. “You’re so fucking beautiful and you’re mine. How did that happen?”
Judd finally gave me a great smile. “I laid eyed on you and was done for.”
“Do you plan to hang around? Can I get you anything?”
Judd walked to a nearby booth, slid in, then pulled me next to him. “Coffee would be great, but first I want to enjoy the view.”
“Did everything go okay?”
“It’s done. I’ll tell you more later.”
Nodding, I ran my fingers under his leather jacket and caressed the hard flesh hiding just past the tee.
“Do you want me to sleep over at your place?” I asked, hoping his plans hadn’t changed.
Knowing what I was asking, Judd leaned over and nipped at my neck. “After your shift, we’ll go to the apartment, grab a few things, and head home. We’ll pick up the rest of your stuff later. Also, Kathy will round us up groceries, so you and I can spend the next few days hibernating.”
“I have work tomorrow,” I sighed against his cheek.
“Give your notice. Cooper said he’s hiring you on as his assistant. Your work duties will be figured out later, but he wants you around. That way, if he doesn’t trust something or needs your skills, it won’t seem strange for you to show up. Plus, this way you’ll have hours open during the day, so I can train you. Get these muscles tight.”
Grinning, I ignored the men that Judd was again glaring at because they were watching our affection.
“If I get stronger, won’t that also help my endurance and flexibility?”
Judd looked away from the men and into my eyes. “Shit, I missed you.”
Laughing, I cuddled against him for another few minutes then squirmed away to fetch him coffee.
Soon, I was on the back of his Harley for a quick stop at the apartment. Feeling like a stranger’s place now, I shoved clothes and basics into a backpack then followed Judd to the bike. He glanced around like everything about the place irritated him. Mainly, he was annoyed by the college guys wrestling around in the lamest example of touch football I’d ever seen.
“Drunk at four is a sign of a fucking moron,” Judd muttered, eyeballing the guys.
“Who cares? I don’t live here anymore, right?”
Judd gave me a half grin. “It’s just storing your shit until we move everything to our place.”
I licked at his lips before climbing on behind him. “You’re so fucking sexy when you get all domesticated.”
Judd squirmed on the Harley as his jeans ran out of room. “We need to get you naked.”
“Break a few speed limits then, stud.”
Giving me a cocky smile, Judd proceeded to drive like a man involved in a race for his life. We nearly drove on the sidewalk at one point. By the time we reached his parking garage, I was frazzled, yet excited to see what all of Judd’s pent up need would feel like inside me.
Riding up in the elevator, Judd kissed me as he removed my backpack and held it in one hand. Once we were at his place, he fumbled with the keys, too wired to keep his hand steady. I didn’t make things easier by leaning against him and laughing at his desperation.
“Normally, I have Kathy dump the junk mail,” Judd said, pushing the door open. “I told her to save it though, since I figured you might see something you’d want for your collection.”
Touched by his gesture, I smiled up at Judd and made a little confession. “I came over once to check on Pearl. I also got naked and rolled around in your bed.”
“Fuck,” he said, dropping the bags and tossing me over his shoulder. “No more wasting time.”
As he walked us through the living room, the cat looked up from her perch and meowed at him.
“Hey, Pearl, I’ll be busy for a few hours. We’ll talk later.”
Hours passed, yet only our growling stomachs stopped the fun. Judd walked his naked ass into the kitchen, found a menu, and called the restaurant to order a ton of Chinese. Once he slapped cash on the counter for when the delivery arrived, he returned to me in bed. I laughed at how he barely missed a thrust in the whole endeavor.
When the food arrived, Judd slid on a pair of sweat shorts and answered the door. I dug out a pair of panties and one of Judd’s wife beaters. The minute he saw me in the oversized tank that didn’t even come close to covering my breasts, I suspected we were heading back to bed.
“I’m yours,” I promised and the intense look in his blue eyes faded a little.
“I really fucking missed you, Tawny.”
Smiling, I smelled the food and shivered. “I missed you too, but we’re not leaving here for a few days. No more missing each other.”
“I hated waking up without you next to me,” he said, having set the food down and now playing with a lock of my hair. “I hated not hearing your voice or seeing your smile. Once I let myself need you, I can’t live without that feeling.”
“Have I mentioned how much I love you?” I asked, leaning against him as he dumped mounds of food on two plates.
Judd grinned then glanced over the food. “We need to carbo load.”
Laughing, we walked to the living room where he turned on the TV while we ate. After a few minutes, Judd sighed. “Christmas is almost here and we need a tree.”
Stopping mid-chew, I smiled up at him. “The only time I’ve had a tree was when we visited my grandma for Christmas.”
“I never bought one for the place. It’s just me, so what was the point? You’re here now and we need a tree.”
“Can we get one of those small plastic ones this year?” I asked, thinking of all the work involved in getting a real tree. “I saw some pretty ones at Kmart that don’t need maintenance or decorating. We’ll keep it low key.”
Judd gave me a tired grin. “I’m glad you suggested that because I really didn’t want to deal with a real tree this year. We will need presents though. I haven’t even gotten something for my mom.”
“After a few days of hibernating, we’ll get everything ready for Christmas. Oh, and Farah wants me to come to the house for Christmas Eve. Will you come with me?”
Rolling his eyes, Judd continued eating. “Like I’d hang out here alone while my woman eats cookies and drinks beer.”
“I’m really excited about my life,” I said, watching him intently. “I feel amazing in a way I’ve never felt before and it’s because of you.”
Brushing hair away from my face, Judd studied me. “You’re an angel with those eyes, babe.”
As I smiled, Judd set aside his plate then took mine. “Let’s go do something.”
“Can’t we finish eating first? I need to load more carbs.”
Judd smirked as he pulled me to my feet then tugged me into the bathroom. With his back facing the mirror, I caught a glimpse of the pirate ship tattoo before I looked away.
“I want you to see your eyes.”
Panic struck me and I tried to pull away. “I don’t want to.”
“Peek around my shoulder and see your eyes just for a few seconds. Do it for me as a reward for sharing my home with a chick, even though I swore I never would. I was such a fool to think I could say no once I met you.”
Grinning weakly at his comment, I asked, “Just my eyes. Not my mouth. I hate my mouth.”