When Cooper and Judd returned, we jumped at the suddenness of their appearance. Farah jumped up and ran to Cooper who looked pissed until she was in his arms. Even wanting to run to Judd and be certain of his feelings, I remained where I was next to Bailey.
Judd stepped closer and gave a little head gesture to Jodi. When his gaze fell on me, he said softly, “We need to talk.”
Four little words that I assumed wouldn’t lead to anything good. I hugged Jodi and Bailey goodnight then one tight hug for Farah. Finally, I followed Judd to my bedroom and shut the door. He pulled off his jacket and threw it on the chair. This little action lifted my spirits, since he clearly wasn’t leaving immediately.
“You did good tonight,” he said, fiddling with his phone like I was an afterthought. “Standing up to him like that was pretty badass.”
“Thank you,” I said awkwardly while playing with my crucifix necklace.
Hearing my tone, Judd stared coldly at me and I felt small under his gaze. When he approached, I flinched at the suddenness of his movements. Frowning now, Judd sighed.
“It makes sense that you’d have ugly thoughts after tonight. You need to put them aside though and see this.”
On his phone, a video began to play of Saul who was a mess of swollen eyes and broken bones as he cowered on the ground.
“Say it,” Judd ordered on the video.
“She didn’t want it. They were just girls, but their dad owned us money and we took them instead. We didn’t give them no choice. They were crying and begging. They didn’t want that shit.”
Judd stopped the video. “Do you understand?”
Even nodding, I didn’t care about the rapist’s words. I wanted to know if Judd still want me? I needed his reassurance more than anything. Before I could ask, Judd fiddled with his phone until another video started.
In this one, Saul was crying in a corner of the barn and I heard dogs growling in the background. Someone let the dogs loose and they descended on the screaming man. While I expected them to go for the jugular like attack dogs, they tore at his legs and torso first. They killed him slowly until his screams finally ended.
This time when Judd turned off the video, he placed the phone on the dresser. “You never tell anyone I showed you that. Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
“I wanted you to see how he was gone from this fucking world and would never touch you again.”
“Thank you.”
As Judd brushed hair away from my face, I saw his knuckles were busted open. Gently, I kissed each knuckle.
“When you look at me now,” I said, “do you think of him fucking me and me coming?”
Taking my face into his battered hands, Judd stared at me like he was fighting between anger and sadness.
“How can you fucking ask me that?”
“Is that a no?”
“When I think about him, I think of how he hurt you and needed to die. I never thought of you wanting it. You saw what he said. Even he knew you didn’t want it.”
“You were torturing him. He would have said anything.”
Judd opened his mouth and I sensed he wanted to yell or at least show anger. Instead, he swallowed the irritation and sighed.
“I love you, Tawny,” he said, caressing my cheek. “I fucking love you and nothing changes that fact.”
“What about the jinx?” I asked weakly, savoring those words in my head.
“I’m fighting to keep you and fuck the jinx. Besides, I could see how much you needed to hear the words.”
“I did,” I whimpered. “I tried to be strong, but I felt so dirty tonight. Everyone looked at me and knew what that fucker did. I needed to come back from that and know you still thought I was beautiful.”
Judd smiled softly. “When you stood up to him, you were never more beautiful to me.”
“He would have kicked my ass, if you and Vaughn hadn’t stopped him.”
“That’s the point,” he said, leading me to the bed where we sat. “You remembered him hurting you and could have let him walk away and kept quiet. I know you and how you wouldn’t trust everyone to believe you. Yet, you stood up to him anyway. I was so fucking proud of you when you held your head up and stared into his ugly face. You were scared and shaking, but you didn’t back down. How could I not love the girl I saw tonight?”
The tears broke forward and I showed him my forearm. “He touched me. He’s dead, but I can still feel him.”
“Here?” Judd asked, studying my arm. “Do you feel him here?”
Running his fingers over the skin, Judd lifted my arm to his lips. I didn’t want him touching the tainted skin, yet he sucked gently on my arm.
“You smell clean, babe.”
“I love you.”
Judd caressed my arm with his lips. “Who does this arm belong to?”
“You.”
“No one else.”
“Never anyone else.”
The flicker of doubt in Judd’s eyes disappeared as he gave me a little grin. “I need to clean up. Do you want to come in with me and celebrate the fucker’s death?”
“Yes, please.”
Judd pulled me to my feet and into an embrace. Shuddering at how warm he felt in my arms, I noticed how the beating of his heart eased my hurt.
“Thank you for saying the words,” I said, gazing up at him.
“You’re mine, angel. I don’t know if you’ll change your mind one day, but I’m doing everything I can to keep that from happening.”
“You’re mine too and I’m never letting you go.”
Once in the shower, Judd scrubbed off quickly. Then, he washed me down while exploring every part of me and claiming me with his touch. Coming from his touch, I wept against him, even though I felt safe now. I felt loved too as the ugliness faded away, just echoes in my mind.
Judd lifted me into his arms as the hot water warmed us and I sighed at the feel of him inside me. Carefully, he brought us to the brink and had us go over the edge together. In every way, Judd was claiming me.
As we dried off, Judd demanded, “Say you’re mine.”
The dark look in Judd’s eyes was intense. The angry tension in his expression made me feel like someone had doubted his right to me and he was proving them wrong.
“I’m yours forever.”
“I won’t let you go. Even if you want to leave, I won’t be able to let you leave.”
“Wait, are you threatening me?” I asked, squinting at him.
“I’m threatening the guy who tries to take you away.”
“What’s he like?” I teased, stepping away from his curious fingers. “How does he woo me from my man?”
“Who cares? He’ll be dead before he touches you.”
“Because I’m yours?” I said, backing up towards the bed. “Because I’ll always be yours?”
Watching me slide under the covers and hold them up for him, Judd gave me a soft smile. “You really are my angel.”
“And you’ll always be my knight.”
Chapter Twenty Six
Waking up next to Judd, I smiled at the sight of him in the pink sheeted bed. His skull tattoo looked especially silly surrounded by so much frilliness. I wanted to reach out and touch the tattoo, caress my fingers over the inked flesh then follow with my lips and tongue. Knowing he destroyed one of the monsters who once destroyed me, I wanted to claim every inch of Judd. Yet, he was tired after a long stressful night, so I kept my hands to myself. Despite my self-control, Judd likely felt me watching him because he opened his eyes.
“How you feeling, babe?”
“Tired.”
“Want to sleep more?”
“No.”
“Want to climb over here and wake me up real soft like?”
“Yes, please.”
“Fuck,” he groaned. “I love when you say please like that.”
“Do my good manners turn you on, stud?” I asked, straddling him. “May I please slide your cock in me now, sir?”
Judd laughed as his fingers went to my nipples. “Sure. Have at it, ma’am”
Stroking him between my legs, I softly scratched at his chest. “Thank you for letting me fuck you this morning. Now, please make me come so hard I lose the ability to make noise and wake up my sister.”
Grinning, Judd pulled me down for a kiss. What began as tender quickly grew heated when he nipped at my lower lip. By the time I slid back and he filled me, Judd looked like a man possessed.
“You’re mine,” he nearly growled. “Never forget that.”
“Stop bossing me around,” I muttered, moving faster. “And stroke me clit. You’re so lazy sometimes.”
Judd’s hungry expression softened and he sucked on a few fingers, wetting them nicely before stroking me. Quickly, I slapped a hand over my mouth and kept from waking the house.
As soon as I caught my breath, Judd rolled me onto my back and thrusted hard into me. Again, he seemed possessed with something between fear and anger. I held onto his arms and enjoyed every thrust. When I knew he was close, yet fighting the urge, I stroked myself and tightened around him as I came. The sensation was too much and Judd let go. Resting over me, he studied my face, tracing it with his index finger.
“Cooper, Tucker, Kirk, me, and few guys are hunting down the other bastards that hurt you. The fucker last night spilled info on his buddies. Once we kill them, you’ll never have to worry about another one showing up.”
My hands caressed his chest, stroking the tattoo with punctured heart. He looked so beautiful in the early morning light that I felt blessed to have him.
“I love you, Judd.”
“I love you too, babe,” he said, finally pulling out before resting next to me. “Vaughn can’t go with us because we’ll pass into territory that’s not safe for him. Since he’s staying, he’ll watch over you and Farah. That’s another thing. I want you to stay here with your sister while I’m gone. Can you do that?”
Nodding, I nuzzled his chest. “Do you think it’s safe for you to go after them?”
“They’re a small club. Nobodies really and they won’t see us coming. It’ll be fine, but I need you to be safe, so I can concentrate. You know how you distract me.”
Grinning, I caressed one of his nipples. “On purpose too.”
“My angel does have her naughty side.”
“I’ll miss you.”
“I doubt I’ll sleep good until I’m back,” he said then took a deep breath. “When I get back, I want you to move into my place.”
Swallowing hard, I gave him a grin. Mostly, I fought not to scream and jump up and down with excitement. “Are you sure?”
“I need you with me. It’s stupid to pretend like you aren’t already living with me when you’re there every night. Besides, Pearl needs a woman around the house.”
“I’ll give you space when you need it,” I said, stroking his face and ready for another around to celebrate this new arrangement. “I know you’re not used to sharing a space with someone and I’ll be cool about it.”
Judd’s eyes looked so pale in the morning light as they studied my face. “We just fit. It makes no sense, but I don’t feel right unless you’re around. Even just sitting somewhere doing nothing, it’s not good for me unless you’re sitting next to me doing nothing too.”
“I want to sit next to you doing nothing forever,” I said, stroking his cock.
“You’re quite the poet yourself,” he said, hardening in my hand.
“One more and we’ll have breakfast. I need to see Farah and…”
Judd’s finger tugged at a nipple and I forgot everything else. Maybe sensing this, he kissed me and didn’t stop until we were done.
All of the sex, including the shower fun, relaxed me to the point of making a nap look inviting. Instead, we walked downstairs where Cooper hid in the office while Farah sat out on the deck in the cool morning.
Judd poured me a cup of coffee then grabbed my jacket and slid it on me. “Sometimes, only one person will make things better.”
Giving Judd a soft kiss, I left him to join Farah outside. She glanced back at me when I opened the door. Looking tired, she only managed a weak smile before returning her gaze to the backyard finely dusted with frost.
Farah and I sat in silence for several minutes. She was fighting the memories, but our past showed up in her new life to taint everything. All these years, Farah used her walls to hide from the pain, but those walls were down because of Cooper. Nothing protected her anymore from remembering.
Nothing had ever protected me from the memories of that week. Somehow, my daily damage helped me deal with the pain of the night before. This was a new beginning for us, if we could face what we wished would disappear, but never could.
“I’m sorry,” I said softly, watching a squirrel make its way up a tree.
“For what, Tawny?” Farah asked in a hushed voice.
“When Travis would fuck me in front of you,” I said, causing Farah to tense immediately, “I would orgasm. I know it seemed like I liked it or him, but I didn’t. I’m sorry if it seemed like I didn’t care that he hurt you.”
Eyes moistening, Farah frowned. “I never thought you liked it.”
“They were always talking about how much I liked it though. How I’d come. They told Dad he could make a lot of money off me. I was ashamed for you to think that I wanted those fuckers, but I can see why you’d believe I was into it.”
“I never did,” Farah whispered, taking my hand. “I would never think that.”
“I really didn’t want to come. I hated him and I knew he hurt you. I would hear you screaming and I knew he was a monster. I shouldn’t have come. I would try not to, but I couldn’t control it.”
Moving closer, Farah wrapped an arm around me as I cried. “You did nothing wrong. I saw how scared you were and how much they hurt you. I always felt guilty for not protecting you.”
“How could you protect me?”
“I would think about that day when Mom ran away and I realized they were taking us. I kept thinking I should have fought them, so you could run away. I should have saved you.”
“I wouldn’t have run though,” I told her, wiping a tear from her cheek. “I wouldn’t have left you.”
“I know, but I still didn’t even think to protect you.”
“You did a lot. With Mom and Dad, there were times you got hit so I wouldn’t. I always knew you protected me when you could.”
Farah rocked me for a few minutes then sighed. “I hated how they passed you around. I felt guilty for how I mostly had to be with Travis, but you just got torn apart by them all. I should have told you years ago how you did nothing wrong. I shouldn’t have let you think I thought you wanted them.”