Confessions and Olivia (Olivia #2) (16 page)

I inhale sharply while my heart takes another blow. “So all the times you wanted to see me, the times we spent together, they were set up? Every time you asked about my family it was only to get some knowledge? How could you betray me like this?”

I ignore the grief that appears across his face and in his tone
, because a fraction of what Calvin is feeling doesn’t come close to what I am.

He hesitates.
“Yes…no…yes. But wanting to get to know you was real. I wanted to get to know you, Olivia. I wanted to spend time with you. Everything I did for you was real.”

I know he’s hating every second of this, his hair is
a mess where he’s been pulling at it, his demeanor sort of angry at the situation yet wary because he doesn’t know what I’m thinking. I don’t know what I'm thinking. I know how I'm feeling. Hurt, betrayed and lied to.

“How can you say that it was real when I was a part of your fucked up plan? For a reason I still do not know about! You played me Calvin, you sucked me into your life under false pretenses

and I fell in love with yo
u. When all along you had no intention of having a relationship with me.”

“Olivia
, don’t say that. It’s not true.” I don’t look at him. I can't breathe properly. My chest starts to tighten. I walk around the living room trying to catch my breath, clutching at my hair. I’m burning up. Feeling nausea. Sweating. I’m still listening to what he's saying but it hurts like a fucking dagger to my heart as he twists it in deeper the more he confesses.

He used me to hurt Mauricio and I can’t comprehend why.

“You purposely set out to hurt each and every one of us.” I continue.

He frowns, then sha
kes his head quickly disagreeing. “No, just him.”

“You say that but the only one that has been hurting through this is me. He has taken it out on me for months. Acting like I was being the nuisance brat, disturbing his peace. He thought it was me suddenly turning against him, but really it was because you were turning me against him. That’s why I acted the way I did towards him, you strung me like a puppet for your own use.”

I slowly sink down into the couch holding onto the arms of the chair for support. Calvin is about to help me sit but I push his hands away. “Don’t touch me!” I yell.

He recoils at my harsh
ness but it’s not harsh to me. I need to think straight. I need time.

I stay silent for a few moments, thinking.

“Olivia, talk to me.”

I close my eyes, allowing tears to fall down my cheeks.

“All them times you had to ‘be somewhere’ Calvin, all the times you were gone. Times when I didn’t see you for days. Times when I thought you didn’t want to know me anymore. I sat there and I would think to myself; why doesn’t he want to spend time with me, what’s wrong with me. I doubted I was ever going to be good enough for you,” I glance up at him. He looks down at me with his blue eyes hooded and oozing agony. He walks over to me and kneels between my legs taking my hands. “You have no idea how much it hurts to hear you say that. I wish I could take them days back where I didn’t see you, because them days are wasted moments I should have shared with you and I'm never going to get that time back. I wish I could take every doubt that you ever had about yourself and banish them by making it better in any way possible, but I can't. Just know that you will always be too good for me and I will never be worthy of your love. Never.” His face is full of regret as I swipe at my tears with my fingers.

“Let me get this straight. When you were gone, you were the one's doing over the clubs? You and Ashton? You were the ones causing Mauricio’s ‘calamity’s’? That’s where you were? And you told me you couldn’t tell me. Told me the devil never reveals his sec
rets,” I scoff at my stupidity. “I thought you were joking.”

Calvin looks away before answering me. “Most of the time that’s where I was yes.”

I narrow my eyes at him and nod trying to work this out. “Okay. So, that’s how you knew where I lived? That’s how you knew almost everything about me? Seems you knew more about me than I knew about myself. How did you get this information?”

He stands from his kneeling position and positions himself in the middle of the room, standing. I almost think Calvin isn’t going to tell me but instead he tells me everything.

“Weeks before we met, we’d follow Mauricio. See what he was about. See what he owned. What his operations were. I wanted to see what he loved the most. After your graduation, he took you to his restaurant. I saw how much you meant to him. I figured out you were a good girl, but that could easily be swayed.”

My eyes turn to his sharply. “You were at the restaurant? After my graduation?”

He bows his head, closing his eyes, and sighs in shame. “Yes.”

“You followed me and my family?”

“Yes.”

He followed me and my family?
Is he insane?

“Olivia, I did what I had to do.”

I yell at him forgetting where I am. “Why me? Why not Sophia? We all know she’s way prettier and a man like you, she would have done anything for.”

He answers
me too casually which throws me. "Sophia was too easy, she fell in love at the drop of a hat and I knew in the end she would suss me out, but with you...”

"But with me what?" I scrunch up my eyes, feeling doubted again. I know Calvin doesn’t want to explain
this one but I push him firmly. “Me what?” I grit my teeth.

He rubs his red, blood shot eyes before answering. I know it’s to give him time on how to approa
ch the question so I yell again. “Why me?”

“Because I heard that you were Mauricio’s pride and joy. I heard that you did everything he asked of you. You were the perfect step daughter that completed his ‘perfect family’ I knew he would have hated every second of you being influenced, his special girl being tainted.”

I open my mouth to speak, but have nothing. He’s right. I was. But he knew all this?

“So I was some s
ort of joke to you? Do you realize how fucked up this sounds?”

I can’t stand it. I stand sharply from the sofa. I need air. I brush past him to make my way outside.

“You’re not leaving me?” he frantically pulls me back by my arm.

I throw myself out of his grip fiercely. “I need some air!”

I get outside Mayra’s with Calvin following behind, closing the door behind him. I’m about to walk off but again, Calvin pulls me back. “Don’t leave me Olivia, please.”

“What the fuck do you expect from me? You tell me you want to kill Mauricio. You tell me you used me to get to him. Used me to ruin our family life, which you have succeeded in doing by the way. You tell me you followed me and my family around and you think I want to stay?”

"Olivia, please don't look at me that way. You wanted me to tell you the truth and I am. I’m begging you to hear me out, you said you would." He pleads, desperately trying to hold on to me.

I stare back into his piteous blue eyes, and frown. Do I know this man at all?

“Who are you Calvin?”

He steps back alarmed, feeling wounded by my question, looking at me like I’m in the wrong.

“I’m still
your
Calvin, Olivia. I’m still the man you fell in love with. My personality is no different. Who I was with you, that was the real me. I didn’t make up any of that.”

“How can you say that you’re still mine? You never was mine. Not really.”

He groans exasperated to hear me say such a stupid thing. “Yes I was. I always was. Please believe me.”

Believe him? How can I trust a thing he says? I know what he’s done. But I don’t know why. I feel sick that this man that I love deeply, has done this to me. To my family. He wasn’t falling in love with me like I thought he was, was he? I was just a game to him.

“I know your trying to tell me the truth, but how the fuck am I meant to feel when you stand there telling me that you used me this whole time. And for what? To get at Mauricio?”

I become furious with the situation more so. He’s not telling me the whole of it. What the hell is he hiding?

"Why?" I scream frustration taking over me. “You’re as bad as he is, what the fuck is wrong with you. Why do you want him dead?” I launch myself at him, hitting him in the chest taking all my frustration and pain out on him. Hitting him over and over, my fists pounding into his chest. I hate myself for it but I can’t stop. He just stands there and takes it as I lose my mind.

“Fucking asshole. Tell me what Mauricio has done so
bad that you want him dead? Why you fucking used me?”

He
gently restrains me grabbing at my wrists, pulling them up to the side of my head and pushing me back into the wall of the house. He shouts in my face, his voice pain stricken.

"He killed my fucking parents Olivia that’s why! Are you happy now? He killed them. Why should he have a perfect family when he took mine away?”

I freeze. Completely. Staring at his darkened, raging eyes as he loosens his grip from around my wrists, letting my arms flop lifelesslyto my side
s.
The blood drains from my face. I’m frozen to the spot, shaking my head, refusing to believe. Tears automatically forming. The lump in my throat has grown, causing my breathing to fail. His words echoing in my ears
. He murdered my parents.

“No. He couldn't...he wouldn’t. You’ve got the wrong person.”

Mauricio killed Calvin’s parents? No way. My mind is rejecting to accept it.

“That can't be right, you have this wrong.”

I feel bile building up inside me. I come over all faint, feeling dizzy with grief, incredulity.

This can't be true.

I can't look up at Calvin, the anguish his face holds is too heart-breaking. He looks at me like he’s re-living that very moment in his head. While he watches me staring at him unhinged.

"It was him. Mauricio Fahoney. He took my family away, Olivia. It was him that killed them. Now do you understand? Now do you see why I despise that man? Tell me, honestly, would you want to get pay back? They
were my fucking parents. We were just kids and he took them from us."

I walk away from him still in denial. “No
!" I shake my head refusing it. “How could he do this…I don’t understand.”

“He murdered them and he burnt their bodies leaving nothing left. Nothing left but ashes. He's a fucking monster.” He shouts as I walk away.

No. No. No. I can’t take it.

I’m going to be sick
.

Vomit pours out of my mouth not stopping, not letting me come up for air. My stomach is churning. This revelation is too much. I hold on the metal gate of Mayra’s mom house for support with one arm. My stomach is wrenching. Splitting into two.

Calvin wouldn’t lie. But I can't believe it. I won’t believe it. Could Mauricio be so cruel and so cold hearted to do something like this?

I compulsively vomit, letting sobs of
cries out in between making it hard for me to breath. Calvin stands behind me trying to help me to me feet. I can't support myself. I am paralyzed with devastation.

Calvin helps me up and holds me tight against his chest.

"No!" I cry out loudly, my chest wheezing. He holds me firmly in his grip. Taking care of me. “Olivia, I’m so sorry." He repeats. "I’m so sorry."

I cry out even harder, burring myself into him. This can't be happening. The man who have brought me up as his own since I was four years old. The man I called dad, a stone cold murderer? He murdered the parents of someone I have fallen in love with?

I can't register it all in my head, it won’t go in. Deep down I know it’s true but I don't want to believe it. My mind is in denial.

Calvin continues to try and sooth me, rocking me in his arms. I’m devastated.

“I’m going to take care of you baby, I will.” He declares.

I know now this is going to fuck up ever
ything. My relationship with Mauricio is dead as from now, even more so. I can't have my family any were near him. He will have no one left when this gets out. Just like Calvin wanted, and he has a right to doesn’t he? Yes, it all makes sense to me now, of course it does. Why he picked me in the first place out of all the beautiful girls he could have had. Why Mauricio’s businesses are going pear shape
d.
The arguments I’ve overheard about jobs getting high jacked, about snitches? The way my parents have been acting. The reason why they hate Calvin so much.

Wait a second. Do my family know who he really is? If they do has my mom new about this all along?

Oh god, I’m in too much of a state to talk, to even think. I can’t deal with this. My mind blacks out. The pain is unbearable.

I’m briefly aware of Calvin picking me up
into his arms. He's cradling me like a young child, putting me into a car. I’m too exhausted to complain or take notice of whose car it is or where we’re going. My eyes close on their own accord, like they’re telling me I cannot cope with any more news, no more pain. And I’m glad, I don't want to open them. I want to go into a sweet dream and not wake up until this is all over.