Read Confessions and Olivia (Olivia #2) Online
Authors: N.k Williams
“Then tell me?” I demand trying to suppress my sobs.
He sighs and walks away from me, clutching at his hair. “I met her in Brooklyn, about two years ago. She was working as a stripper. I was only at the god damn club to meet with this guy called Seth. He had information for me and Ashton. She overheard our conversation and Seth was about to kill her for eavesdropping. I talked him out of it because I felt sorry for her. Told him I would take care of her myself,”
I grimace and look away from him, closing teary eyes in pain. He looked after her?
“Obviously I never intended on killing her. I asked her what she heard. She told me everything, and she also told me more about Mauricio then anyone. She’s the one who told me where we could find him.” He lets out a sharp breath looking up at the ceiling.
She’s the one who led Calvin here? She started this for him and Ashton? Oh god, this makes me feel even worse. He must have felt something for the women who led him to his parent’s killer.
“How did she know?” My voice is a croak. I can’t speak over the lump that has formed in my throat.
Calvin informs me clearly.
“When she was twenty one she got engaged to a man called Joseph. She was set to marry him. She met him when she was young, eighteen, and he was almost forty but she loved him dearly. She hasn’t got no other family. She’d been in and out of care her whole life, so when Joseph come along she finally had stability. He was a lawyer and was going to stand trial against Mauricio for witnessing the killing of another man. Mauricio wasn’t going to let that happen so he killed him and left Georgia with nothing. He ripped her life apart.”
What? He killed Georgia’s fiancé too? How many people have Mauricio killed!
“After he left her with nothing, she went downhill. She turned to drugs and become a stripper to make ends meet. She’s twenty six now and until recently she was engaged again but that was just for money. She loved Joseph and has been bitter about it ever since. So when she met me that night, she jumped at the chance to help us out. Mauricio didn’t know who Georgia was so that made it all the better. She was biding her time, but how could one young girl get revenge on a man like Mauricio by herself?”
I stare stunned, wide eyed and poignant as he speaks. “So you told her about your parents and hatched a plan together?” He said he hadn’t told anyone but me.
He shakes his head disagreeing. “No, I didn’t tell her anything at first. I didn’t tell her why I wanted to ruin him, all she knew was that I wanted to. I didn’t trust her at the beginning. But the more I got to know her the more I felt her pain. I realized she was genuine. Ashton wanted to get rid of her the first chance he got but like I said, I felt sorry for her. She had nothing and no one. I eventually taught her how to play poker and found she was really good at it. She came to her first poker tournament with us and won, after that there was no stopping her. She made a better life for herself by playing and she found it therapeutic, like I did. Do.”
She finds poker therapeutic just like Calvin does? I didn’t know he found it that way.
I pull myself up onto the sofa stiffly. I feel nauseous from knowing Calvin took this women under his wing and that he cared for her. Half of me is riddled with envy. The other half of me has been filled with repentance. I feel deeply guilty that Georgia, even though I dislike the women, has had a broken life and all down to, again, Mauricio. I feel envious at the fact Calvin taught her how to play poker. It’s also extremely painful to understand that they both find a sense of relief from playing because they share the same tendencies.
“Olivia? Say something?”
Calvin’s anxious, I know he is. His eyes are filled with fright from not knowing how I’m going to take this.
“I’m just trying to follow.” I let him know on a whisper. It hurts to speak. He nods and exhales relief; I think allowing him to continue.
“When we found out Mauricio lived here in Chicago we were rearing to go. I told Georgia I didn’t want her involved any more, told her to stay in New York. She didn’t take it well and suddenly blurted out that she’d fallen in love with me. I didn’t know how to react. I knew I didn’t love her, I just cared for her like I always did. She told me that we had a special understanding, both our lives had been ruined by the same man and that no other women would have that connection with me.” Calvin looks away from me briefly, building up his next sentence cautiously. From the thwarted feeling I’ve gained in my stomach I know I’m not going to like it.
“She kissed me, and out of stupidity, I kissed her back,”
I close my eyes slowly letting out a shaky breath and ask the inevitable. “Then you slept with her?”
“Once.” He admits on a regretful sigh.
What? “You told me you never slept with her. You told me that in Vegas.”
“I said I never slept with her in Miami, Olivia.” He corrects me.
“Oh, so that makes it better, then?” I bark back at him. I don’t know why I’m so angry. This was before I met him. I just can’t bear the thought of another women,
that
woman, receiving any sort of affection from him.
Calvin doesn’t look shocked by my outburst. He knows this is killing me, hearing all this. But I wanted the honest truth, so what do I expect?
“No it’s not Okay, I’m not saying that. I hated myself for it. I never had feelings for Georgia like she did for me, yet I slept with her anyway. Giving her false hope. As soon as I did I was full of remorse. I told her it shouldn’t have happened but she wouldn’t listen. In the end me and Ashton left her behind and came to Chicago without her. She then took it upon herself to meet up with Mauricio in New York. She spiked his drink and got him hammered. He told her about a women being pregnant who was burnt. He was even talking about my mom in his sleep. Georgia then got hold of his cell phone and bugged it. She’s a clever women I’ll give her that. She played out what he’d been talking about a few days after to me and Ashton. It was a break through for us, we learned about this big drug shipment he had in the pipe line. Even though we didn’t ask Georgia to do it for us, she wanted to ruin him as much as we did but she became obsessive, wanting to know our next move. Making sure we gave her something back for her giving us information. She’s crazy and became a liability. Ashton told her to get fucked but I knew how vindictive she could be if things didn’t go her way. So I wanted to keep her close, just in case. That’s until she hurt you that night then I washed my hands with her. You mean more to me than anything in this world Olivia and I can’t bear anyone hurting you. So I cut all ties with her, threw her out of my home, and now, obviously, she’s going back down the path of destruction.”
I’m trying to keep up with all this but there’s so much to follow. So much information to digest. I hate every second of it. Even though everything is slowly making sense, it doesn’t mean I like hearing any of it.
Georgia’s life, Calvin and Ashton’s life and who knows how many other people’s lives have been ruined by Mauricio. Calvin took Georgia in because he felt sorry for her. She shared the same pain as him. Not because he wanted to use her to get to Mauricio like she said. And now I know Georgia had met up with Mauricio. She bugged his cell? How? When was this? And why was Mauricio near Georgia?
“What did Mauricio have to do with Georgia?” I finally ask him after staying silent for what seems forever.
The way Calvin looks away from me regretful, I know he doesn’t want to speak about that.
“You don’t have to know all about that Olivia. I don’t want to fill your head with all this shit.”
I do need to know about it. But do I
want
to know, is the question.
“And you never have loved Georgia?” I ask again on a whim.
“Never.” He confirms it, the one word making it clear enough.
I let out a wheezy sigh as my body tremors then I burst into tears.
I don’t look up at Calvin, but I feel him near me instantly, he sits on the sofa next to me and pulls me into his lap. He remains silent which I’m grateful for, and allows me to drown in my emotions.
Calvin breaks the silence when my sobs die.
“Olivia, look at me.”
I
pull myself away from his chest and glance up into his uneasy blue eyes. “I am so sorry I’ve put you through all this. That then with Georgia, you shouldn’t have had to sit through it, you shouldn’t have had to listen to those things she said. And I know I won’t be able to protect you from everything, but I want to try. That’s my job now, to look after you. I will protect you with everything that I have, every day.”
I feel touched that Calvin wants to protect me. I love that I can trust him with my life. I adore that he doesn’t want me to come to any harm and I wish with all I have that all this shit would go away. That all this shit would leave us be so we could live happily. But really, this
shit
, is just the beginning.
“It’s not your fault, you didn’t know she was going to call here. But with her coming here like that, put yours and her relationship into perceptive for me.”
“There was no relationship.” He says tightly.
I shift to wrap my arms around his neck, hi
s lips are set in straight line. “You had a friendship, bound by the pain you both felt, I get it. She fell in love with you, and who wouldn’t? She loved you and you didn’t love her. You cared for her and that’s it. I get that. You cared because that’s who you are Calvin. You the most caring, kind, generous man that I know. I hate that things are coming out of the wood work about Mauricio, and there must be so many more lives he’s ruined. I understand your urgency to break him down, I really do. I’m slowly realizing to a degree what that disgusting excuse for a man is capable of.” He rests his forehead against mine briefly closing his eyes. “Calvin, we need to go. I need to get my mom out of there. I can’t think about this anymore. We need to go now. She’s my only concern.”
“Then let’s go.”
I stare into oblivion while Calvin drives me home. I’m so nervous. I don’t have a clue how they will react. I don’t have a clue how I will react. I’m going to be face to face with a man I called father yet now, he’s not a father. He’s a killer. He’s less than nothing to me.
I keep going around in my head in a slow mantra, should I just come out with it? Or shall I keep it quiet and just leave by myself? But I refuse to let my mom and Sophia live in a home with a monster. I keep going over in my mind of how the conversation might pan out when I get there.
"Calvin, you didn’t think I knew did you? I mean, at first? Did you think I knew what Mauricio was capable of?"
He squeeze’s my leg with his
free hand trying to reassure me. “Of course not. I knew he wouldn’t have had any kind of family if they knew what his other life consisted of. I knew he was a man who kept his dark private life separate and sacred."
"Do you think my mom knows?" I ask hoping for a positive answer.
He hesitates before answering while I watch him. "No and you can’t tell her either. We have to get her out of there first."
Is he serious? “Why?”
“If you tell her and she didn’t know, her world would have just been ripped apart. She isn’t going to take it lightly. I’m scared for her...” he pauses before finishing.
“Scared of what? What he’ll do?” I finish his sentence for him. I think I am too.
He nods slowly but surely agreeing.
“H
e wouldn’t hurt my mom. I’m sure of that.”
But am I? What am I even saying? I’m not sure of anything anymore where Mauricio’s concerned.
I wait for a moment to say what I’ve been dreading, but I want him safe.
I count to ten in my head before I come out with it.
"I don’t want you to be around Calvin, when I go in. It will be easier for me to do it alone."
Just as I thought. He doesn’t take it well.
“Not going to happen. End of story.” He doesn’t leave room for discussion.
"Calvin
, please." I beg him.
"No Olivia. I don’t want him anywhere near you and with me there, he won’t touch you."
"He won’t hurt me. I’ll be careful. Please do this for me. I can handle it, it’ll be so much worse if your there. ”
I know he’s furious with me for asking this of him but I need him safe. Mauricio said he’d kill him next time and I can’t take that risk.
“Fuck. Please don’t ask this of me.” He pleads.
I stay silent, peering across at him, begging him with my eyes.
He mumbles his agreement without arguing further.
"Thank you." I lean over to kiss his cheek. I almost smirk at his sulkiness.
As my street becomes in view my heart starts pounding.
Calvin pulls over.
"I’ll wait here. I’m not going any further away and if you don’t come back out in ten minutes, I’m coming in after you."
I sigh letting him have this. “I’ll be fine. I won’t be long. I promise.”
I’m not convincing myself either.
"You’ll call
me if anything happens? I’ll be straight there."
I lean over to kiss him again.
“I’ll be fine. I love you.”
He pull
s on my arms before I climb out. “I love you too.”
I head up my driveway more slowly then I imagined I would. Yesterday I was so angry, I could have killed Mauricio. Now. I’m scared. Full of hate, but scared.
As soon as I walk through my front door I spot my mother who’s looking like she’s died a thousand deaths. She flies at me with Sophia in tow.
"Where the hell have you been? I’ve been trying to call you all night and it’s been switched off, look at the mess you’re in. Have you been sleeping rough?" I frown at her accusations. Sleeping rough? Do I look that bad?
"Where have you been?" she repeats shrieking at me. She’s still in nightclothes. Her hair looks like it hasn’t been brushed and she’s makeup free with panda eyes. She’s been crying, but I don’t have time to talk. I just need to get her out of here, right now.
"Mom, my battery died, I’m fine. I’ll explain as soon as we get out of here, get your stuff."
I’m about to pull her upstairs to pack with me but she pulls me back by my elbow looking flabbergasted.
"What do you mean? Get out of here? Where do you think you’re going, Olivia? I’ve been going out of my damned mind all night. Worried sick. And your turn up like this?"
"Mom, I’ll explain on the way, we’re leaving, right now. I can’t stay here a minute longer. Come on. Please. We need to go. You too Sophia."
I force her upstairs but it’s not without a fight. She’s trying to pull me off her but I won’t budge. I hold on tightly to her hand and tug her up the stairs. Sophia follows behind.
“Olivia, this is insane. Have you taken anything? You’re acting crazy.”
I ignore her pulling her anyway into my room.
I reach under my bed for my suitcase and start packing essentials and some clothes. I’m sure I can buy new stuff. I really don’t want stay here necessarily longer than I have to. It’s no longer my home. I don’t feel safe here. I’m not safe here. Everything reminds me of that monster.
My mom and Sophia stand in my doorway bewildered at my actions.
"Come on mom, Sophia. Pack your stuff, what are you waiting for?” I throw my hands up in the air, demanding that they move.
My mom speaks
in a high, non-tolerance tone. "Olivia, your being absurd. Will you tell me what the hell you think you’re doing?"
Sophia looks on confused with a hint of sadness in her eyes, while my mom shouts. She knows me to well. She knows I haven’t taken any thing and what would seem irrational behavior to my mom, has a meaning to Sophia.
"Mom, I haven’t taken anything, stop looking at me like that. All you need to know is that we can’t stay here anymore. Calvin and I...”
She throws her hands up in the air and sighs dramatically as soon as I mention his name.
"I should have known it would have something to do with that boy! Don’t tell me you’re back together, didn’t your father see to him last night? Is this what it’s about? This is where you have been?"
So she knew Mauricio got him beat up?
"You knew what he set out to do?” I’m disgusted.
My mom winces a little then straightens out her back. “Yes. It was only what he deserved. Your father was protecting you, Olivia.”
She's insane. “What Mauricio did to him was barbaric mom. I can’t believe you knew about it. Anyway, forget that now, Calvin had the better of him. We need to go mom. Please, for me, just do this one thing. I will explain as soon as we're out of this house.”
"If you think for one minute you’re going anywhere with that boy! You got another thing coming. Don’t you remembe
r what he put you through? All those months of torture? And now you want to leave with him?”
She races over to me frantically and starts unpacking
what I’ve just packed. I snatch everything back out of her hands as quick as she’s taking them.
"You’re not going anywhere with him!" She yells
"Mom, stop, just stop. This isn’t about Calvin." I try to stop her being erratic, but she doesn’t listen. We fight and tug over my clothes, while Sophia starts yelling at as both.
"The pair of you cut it out, just stop."
It’s not Sophia’s voice that slows me down, it's a voice that sends shivers down my spine. Making the hairs on my nape stand up on end.
"What the fuc
k is going on in here?" All eyes dart to Mauricio who is stood in the arch way.
I pale as soon as I
see him. I actually feel the blood drain from my face.
I stare at the stone expression he’s wearing, feeling nothing but hatred and resist the urge to lash out at him. I want nothing more than to hurt him. Punch him. Scream at him. But I can’t move. Standing in front of him, knowing what he’s done, is ten times worse than I would have imagined it to be.
The cold blooded murderer that he is thinks he can come into my room giving orders? Not no more. Not this time. I resist the yearning with everything I have to blurt it all out. Instead I grab my stuff of my mother who’s too occupied in looking at Mauricio for help and finally slam my case shut.
“Where the fuck do you think you’re going?" He sneers, his gaze lowers to my suitcase then back up to me.
“Away from you, far away, and I’m taking my mom and Sophia with me,”
Sophia looks at me stunned. “Yes Sophia, come with us you don’t have to stay here.”
Sophia exhales with compassion. “Olivia, are you well?” She asks gently. What the fuck is she going on about?
Am I well?
“You’re not thinking straight Livs. Calvin’s got into your head again, let’s talk about this.”
I notice Mauricio burn with rage at the mention of Calvin’s name.
“What has that man got to do with all this? Didn’t I tell you to stay away from him?”
I look at Sophia, my eyes pleading with her not to say anything but she completely disregards my plea.
“It seems Olivia is back with that jerk.”
I close my eyes feeling emotionally betrayed.
"You can’t be fucking serious? What did I warn you about him? Wasn’t I clear enough for y
ou? You was not to go near him again. I protected you Olivia. From him! And you stand here packing your things? You’re going to run away with him?” He roars at me, but I won’t be put down by him. I’m not listening to anything he has to say. His words are me are less than trivial.
I stand away from my bed to get close
r to Mauricio, but not to close. Just close enough for him to hear me.
“And why is that Mauricio? Because he broke your step daughter’s heart?" I scoff, looking at my mom and Sophia who are shell shocked and remotely oblivious.
“Is that what Mauricio told you he did it for? Don’t make me laugh. Shall I tell everyone why you wanted me away from him so much? Why you beat him? And why you threatened to kill him if he came near me again?”
He shifts fr
om side to side. His eyes burning into mine, a little confused but he hides it well. He doesn’t know I know, but I can see his mind racing. He knows I know… something.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about you stupid girl. I was protecting you from harm no other reason behind it.”
“Really?” my voice is laced with accusation. “It’s not because you think he was causing a threat to you? Because you think he’s behind all the issues that are driving you insane?”
My mom looks fr
om me to Mauricio in puzzlement. “What is she talking about Mercy?”
He shrugs nonchalantly, but he’s not fooling me. “I don’t know, she’s lost it.”
“You’re a fucking liar.” I scream not being able to help myself. As soon as the words come out of my mouth the most painful smack hits me across my face, forcing my body to turn, sending me flat out onto my bedroom floor. My ears start ringing for the impact and my mom’s bellowing screams follow.
“Olivia! Wh
at the fuck are you doing Mercy?”
I blink up at my mom dazed
, trying to regain focus from the little white spots that are blurring my vision. My mom holds me by my face, checking me over, crying hysterically.
“She deserved it, you heard the way she spoke to me. See, I told you didn’t I? Every time she’s around that Blake boy she’s someone we don’
t know. It’s for her own good Veronica.”
My mom whimpers next to me making a fuss to see if I’m Okay, smoothing my cheek.
“Olivia?”
“I’m fine.” I snap, pushing back up to my feet. I smack my mom’s hand away, not intending for it to be harsh but if this doesn’t open her eyes to show what he’s really like, I don’t know what will.
“Now do you see mom? Now do you see what an evil twisted man he is? This is not this first time he’s hurt me.”
Sophia gasps slightly from behind me. She looks hurt by what she’s just saw but doesn’t make any attempt to help me, no attempt to support me.
My mom doesn’t stop crying, but what she says next knocks me for six.
“Why are you doing this,
Olivia? If you didn’t act this way, this wouldn’t happen.”
My face snaps up in her direction. She can’t take his side. She’s just witnessed him strike me and she’s still saying it’s my behavior that leads to this.
I shake my head refusing to listen to her pitiful excuses and walk over to her grabbing her by the shoulders. Trying to shake her into sense. “No, mom, listen to me, he’s not the man you think he is. Please. Believe me.”
“Olivia, I...” she stutters, her eyes are full with pity as she looks from me to Mauricio at a loss, but then stays silent.
I let my hands drop from her shoulders feeling defeated as I search her eyes with mine. I inhale trembling, and close my eyes. She doesn’t believe me, this women isn’t my mother. She would never act this way, but I can’t leave my mom here with a murderer. I’m not sure what he will do if he knows I know. If he knows that I am completely aware of what he’s capable of. He wouldn’t want this getting out to the family. I don’t think he would let me leave alive if I blurted it out right now, just to get my mom to leave with me. But what can I do to change her mind? I can’t take that risk of telling her now, in front of him and really, has she just chose him over me?