150 Movies You Should See Before You Die (63 page)

Answer: D.
Ring of Terror
was the only script credit for either writer

PRODUCER
Stacy Haber Hofberg

WRITERS
Lee Bennett Sobel and Paul Gambino

DIRECTOR
Lee Bennett Sobel

STARS
Stephen Blackehart (
Wrecks Vincent
), Margaret Lancaster (
Iris
Dougherty
), Paul Stevenson (
Eddie Vincent
), Wendy Walker (
Emma
Cross
), and Dennis Davies (
Benny Lawalski
) An Elvis-obsessed writer (Lancaster) falls in love with a vampire who bears a passing resemblance to the King when he was young (Stevenson).

Why It Sucks

Some people just shouldn't try to make comedies.
Rockabilly Vampire
is unfunny and badly executed with pathetically weak horror overtones, with attempts to make the characters endearing through stereotypically dorky behavior and making the villains menacing using techniques that schoolyard bullies might be ashamed of. There isn't a scene in the film that doesn't go on for far too long. Worse, the characters are universally uninteresting. Great title, though!

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The Crappies

The Worst Editing Award goes to …
Dennis Chomininsky for cutting every single scene and shot in the movie so languidly that you'd think he was on Valium.

And the Worst Director Award goes to …
Lee Bennett Sobel, who didn't have the sense to know when to end scenes. In fact, sometimes characters repeat themselves as if the editors had left several takes of the same scene in the film.

They Really Said It!

Wrecks
: God, huh? Well, you better hope the Devil doesn't jump up and bite you in the ass.

Betcha Didn't Know

This film was completed in 1995, but sat on the shelf until 2001 when it was released by Troma as part of a vampire-themed multifilm DVD set. Even the Troma team knew what a dog this film is.

Stephen Blackehart, who plays the evil vampire Wrecks, has enjoyed a busy career playing bit parts on television and larger roles in low-budget horror flicks from the likes of Full Moon Features, Troma Films, and the Asylum.

Trivia Quiz

What real-world mythological creature could well be a “rockabilly vampire”?

A: Banshee

B: Gaki

C: Poltergeist

D: Kraken

Answer: B. According to Japanese beliefs, a gaki is the restless spirit of someone who died in a state of envy and spends the afterlife trying to obtain in death what it could not in life.

PRODUCERS
Alan Roberts (executive producer) and Marc B. Ray (producer)

WRITERS
Larry Alexander and Marc B. Ray

DIRECTOR
Marc B. Ray

STARS
Fred Holbert (
Matthew
), Leigh Mitchell (
Vera/Daisy Parsons
), and Angus Scrimm (
Dr. Epstein
)

A demented freak (Holbert) with an Oedipus complex that extends to every couple (or hooker and john) he meets, goes on a killing spree.

Why It Sucks

I suppose if you're into pointless sadistic mysogynism, this will pretty much be your cup of tea. The main character is repulsive, and there's not much to like about most of his victims. Although the fact that the killer's hand has been replaced with a murderous hook does give this a strange surreality.

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The Crappies

The Worst Actor Award goes to …
Fred Holbert for his somnam-bulistic portrayal of a serial killer. You've got a hook for a hand, guy! Enjoy it!

And the Worst Director Award goes to …
Marc B. Ray for a sense of pacing that stops with knowing how to say, “Cut!”

They Really Said It!

Matthew
: Eat, or I'll cut your tongue out.

Betcha Didn't Know

The soundtrack was composed by Rockwell (born Kennedy Gordy), the son of Motown founder Berry Gordy. Rockwell had a small number of hit songs during the 1980s, the biggest of these being “Somebody's Watching Me.”

This was the first and only credited film role for actor Fred Holbert.

Trivia Quiz

Who is the only actor appearing in
Scream Bloody Murder
with more than one or two film credits?

A: Leigh Mitchell

B: Angus Scrimm

C: Robert Knox

D: Gloria Earl

Answer: B. Angus Scrimm is best known for his portrayal of the monstrous undertaker in the Phantasm series

PRODUCER
Arnold Panken

WRITER
Joseph W. Sarno

DIRECTORS
Joseph W. Sarno and Anthony Farrar

STARS
June Colburne (
Bobb
i), Dian Lloyd (
Julie
), Derek Murcott (
Dave
), and Beverly Nazarow (
Gloria
)

An aging stripper (Colburne) keeps her youthful looks (sort of) and energy thanks to a voodoo amulet and enchantments powered by a moon goddess. Between shows, she tells fortunes and brews love potions with a method that involves putting her daughter (Lloyd) through magically induced orgasms until she passes out. Until someone steals her amulet ….

Why It Sucks

Sin, You Sinners!
was made by filmmakers with no talent and features actors only slightly more able. But there's an interesting idea here. Of course, there's the fact that the majority of the film seems to have been shot in the same tiny room, rearranging the furniture for different scenes. The cameraman tried to get around this by filming as much of the movie as possible in close up, which gives us a weird feeling of claustrophobia.

Thumbs Down Rating: