150 Movies You Should See Before You Die (66 page)

Trivia Quiz

What famous comic book hero did
Track of the Moon Beast
writer William Finger co-create in 1939?

A: The Spirit

B: Superman

C: Batman

D: Spider-Man

Answer: C. Finger was for decades the unacknowledged co-creator of Batman. From 1939 until the mid-1960s, Finger wrote countless Batman stories.

PRODUCERS
Nicolas Bonavia, Aaron L. Gilbert, Edward Jarzobski, Michael Long, Scott Nell (executive producers), Sandford Hampton, and Viorel Sergovici (producers)

WRITERS
Patrick Casey and Worm Miller

DIRECTORS
David Hillenbrand and Scott Hillenbrand

STARS
Oren Skoog (
Rusty/Radu
), Jennifer Lyons (
Lynne
), Tony Denman (
Newmar
), Patrick Cavanaugh (
Pete
), Paul H. Kim (
Wang
), Musetta Vander (
Teodora Van Sloan
), Natalie Garza (
Lia
), Nicole Garza (
Danni
), David Steinberg (
Dean Floca
), James DeBello (
Cliff
), and Irena A. Hoffman (
Draguta Floca
)

A group of American college students travel to a remote Transylvanian university for a semester of studying and partying abroad. Will the partying or the vampires kill them first?

Why It Sucks

The humor is more stupidly offensive than funny, and the acting universally weak. The story features numerous characters who do nothing and clutter up the film and story. In the hands of competent writers who understood how to streamline a story (not to mention write funny jokes) and with some better actors, this could have been a really good movie. Oh, well.

Thumbs Down Rating:

The Crappies

The Underachievement in Marketing Award goes to …
Distribution and production company Hill & Brand Entertainment for thinking that their film could ride the coattails of the
Twilight
-type teen vampire movies even though they're spoofing a completely different area of the the horror genre. (The film was completed in 2007 but not released until 2009.)

And the Worst Directors Award goes to …
David Hillenbrand and Scott Hillenbrand for crossing a stoner comedy with a spoof of classic horror movies and still not being able to come up with anything that inspires more than a chuckle.

They Really Said It!

Cliff
: I've got the perfect way to pick up girls. I tell them I'm a vampire hunter.

Betcha Didn't Know

Transylmania
died harder at the box office than a vampire venturing outside at high noon. It opened on roughly 1,000 screens and only brought in around $400,000.

Before teaming with his brother to direct stoner comedies, David Hillenbrand worked as a conductor and music coordinator on a number of different television series, including
Mighty
Morphin' Power Rangers
.

Trivia Quiz

What was the first movie to feature vampires and mad scientists in the same story?

A:
House of Dracula

B:
House of Frankenstein

C:
Son of Dracula

D:
Nosferatu

Answer: B.
House of Frankenstein
featured John Carradine as Dracula and Boris Karloff as a mad scientist. It also included Frankenstein's Creature and the Wolfman

PRODUCER
Michael A. DeGaetano

WRITER
Michael A. DeGaetano

DIRECTOR
Michael A. DeGaetano

STARS
Nick Plakias (
Alan Grimes
), Cynthia Cline (
Vivian
), and Ed Lynch (
University Professor
)

Alan (Plakias) and his psychic sidekick (Cline) search for evidence that a UFO has crashed in a remote, backcountry lake, and of a possible government cover-up.

Why It Sucks

Even before it's clear just how bad the script for this film is, viewers will recognize what a lack of vision and focus can accomplish for a director. Among the disjointed, ineptly filmed, amateurishly acted scenes we are also treated to a couple of pointless references to
2001
and 1970s occult culture. And they present it in the most turgid and mind-numbingly dull fashion — at least to those of us who aren't high on 'shrooms and whatever else might be handy. I'm sure the filmmakers thought they were being artsy, but the film appears to have been made in the outer reaches of the No Talent Zone.

Thumbs Down Rating:

The Crappies

The Special Achievement in Helping the Cover-up Award goes to …
Cinematic jack-of-trades Michael A. DeGaetano. Listen to late-night talk radio or even watch an episode of the Fox series
Lie to Me
, and you'll discover how the government is covering up UFOs. Watch this movie, and you'll be so bored with the topic, you won't care if the truth is here, out there, or anywhere.

And the Worst Actor Award goes to …
Nick Plakias, who performs in this film with no changes in facial expressions or vocal inflections; every line is delivered with the vacant tone of a heavily medicated mental patient.

They Really Said It!

Alan
: Something is bothering me. Partly, it's a scientific curiosity.

Partly it's just curiosity.

University professor
: Do you understand the difference?

Allen
: Does anyone?

Betcha Didn't Know

This is the one and only film appearance for the stars of this movie. In fact, the most accomplished cast members in the flick — some of the bit players — appeared in small roles in as many as three other films.

Nick Plakias went onto a career as a stage actor and a folksinger. In 2002 he also had a small part on an episode of
Law & Order: Criminal Intent
.

Trivia Quiz

Which actor's break-through role saw him playing an alien
visitor to the planet Earth?

A: John Wayne

B: Ray Walston

C: Robin Williams

D: Orson Welles