Rodrick Rules (11 page)

Yeah! Whatever!"

All I know is, the one place I don't want to go tomorrow is school. And it looks

like that's exactly where I'm headed.

Friday

The CRAZIEST thing happened today. When I walked in the door at school, a

bunch of guys cornered me, and I braced myself for the teasing to start. But instead

of harassing me, they started CONGRATULATING me.

[Image: A cartoon of a boy with people.]

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Everyone was shaking my hand and patting me on the back, and I didn't know

WHAT was going on.

With all those guys talking to me at the same time, it took me a while to make

sense of anything. But here's what must have happened.

The story Rodrick told his friends got passed on to their brothers and sisters, and

then they told THEIR friends.

[Image: A cartoon of two boys on phone and two boys talking.]

But by the time word spread around, all the details got totally messed up.

So the story went from me accidentally walking into the women's bathroom at

Leisure Towers to me infiltrating the girls' locker room at Crossland HIGH

SCHOOL.

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I couldn't believe everything got twisted like that, but I wasn't about to set the

record straight, either.

[Image: A cartoon of a boy clicking in the girls loo.]

All of the sudden, I was the hero at school. I even got a nickname. People were

calling me the "Stealthinator."

Someone even made me a Stealthinator headband, and you better believe I wore it.

Things like this NEVER happen to me, so I wasn't gonna pass up my moment of

glory.

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And for the first time ever, I knew what it felt like to be the most popular kid at

school.

[Image: A cartoon of two boys doing a Hi Five.] "Smack"

Unfortunately, the girls weren't as impressed with me as the guys were. In fact, I

think I might have a little trouble getting someone to go to the Valentine's Dance

with me.

[Image: A cartoon of the girls scolding the boys.] "You're disgusting!"

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Monday

You know how Rodrick wanted his band to get noticed? Well, he kind of got his

wish, because EVERYBODY knows who Löded Diper is now.

I guess somebody must have thought the tape of Mom cutting loose at the Talent

Show was pretty funny, because it's all over the Internet. And now everyone knows

Rodrick Heffley as the drummer from the "Dancing Mom" video.

[Image: A cartoon of some boys at the computer.]

Ever since, Rodrick's been hiding out in the basement, waiting for the whole thing

to blow over. And I have to admit, I do feel kind of sorry for him.

I'm getting teased about the video at school, too, but at least I'm not IN it.

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And even though Rodrick can be a huge jerk sometimes, he IS my brother.

Tomorrow is the Science Fair, and if Rodrick doesn't turn in a project, he's gonna

flunk out of school.

So that's why I offered to help him out with his project, but just this one last time.

We worked together all night, and I don't mean to brag, but we did a really good

job.

Anyway, when Rodrick gets First Prize tomorrow and passes Science, I just hope

he realizes how lucky he is to have a brother like ME.

[Image: A cartoon of a boy with his science project.] "DO Hypothesis: Plants

probably sneeze.

PLANTS Experiment: feathers pepper feet

SNEEZE?

Conclusion:

Plants don't sneeze."

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I'll be forever grateful to my family for providing the inspiration, encouragement,

and support I need to create these books. A huge thanks goes to my brothers, Scott

and Pat; my sister, Re; and to my mom and dad. Without you, there would be no

Heffleys. Thanks to my wife, Julie, and my kids, who have made so many

sacrifices to make my dream of being a cartoonist come true. Thanks also to my

in-laws, Tom and Gail, who have been there with a helping hand during every

deadline.

Thanks to the terrific folks at Abrams, especially Charlie Kochman, an incredibly

dedicated editor and a remarkable human being, and to those people at Abrams

with whom I've had the pleasure of working most closely: Jason Wells, Howard

Reeves, Susan Van Metre, Chad Beckerman, Samara Klein, Valerie Ralph, and

Scott Auerbach. A special thanks goes to Michael Jacobs.

Thanks to Jess Brallier for bringing Greg Heffley to the world on Funbrain.com.

Thanks to Betsy Bird (Fuse #8) for wielding her considerable influence to spread

the word about Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Lastly, thanks to Dee Sockol-Frye, and to

all of the booksellers across the country who put these books into kids' hands.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Jeff Kinney is an online game developer and designer, and the author of the #1

New York Times bestseller Diary of a Wimpy Kid. He spent his childhood in the

Washington, D.C., area and moved to New England in 1995. Jeff lives in southern

Massachusetts with his wife, Julie, and their two sons, Will and Grant.