Heavenly (12 page)

hoped was true. At our feet Abria sat, content and flapping.

"Think of it as if she has two radio frequencies inside other. I hear both. The first is a frequency the rest of the world hears when she communicates: her thoughts as they are in her mortal brain, a brain with imperfections. The second frequency

is..." he paused, as if in prayer or reverence before continuing, "her second frequency is pure and clear."

Awed, I watched Abria with new respect. "Wow..." I crouched down and sat next to her. "What's she thinking? Right this very second?"

Matthias' concentration tightened on Abria, his body went still. "She's enjoying this moment. She's happy. Content.

And she loves flapping, it's her way of expressing the excitement and joy she feels inside."

"Your explanation feels right," I told him. "Every other alternative seems too cruel to be real."

He sat down next to me, careful to ensure our crossed knees didn't come into contact. "Right manifests itself in the

heart." He patted his. "Like truth. If more people listened to what was inside of them, things would be vastly different in the world."

"You're..."
amazing,
I thought but wouldn't say. Then I panicked, thinking he might hear it anyway. "You're absolutely sure you can't hear what I'm thinking?"

"I´m sure or it."

"But you seem to know... you even knew when I first met you, what I was thinking."

"Only because the circumstances and the look on your face made it fairly easy to figure out what was going on in your

head. And I've always been good with females."

My eyes widened. Females? A little thread of jealousy tightened down inside of me. "That doesn't surprise me.

You're... well, you're a hottie."

"A hottie?" He pressed his palms to his cheeks, then across his forehead, confusion on his face. "I don't feel hot."

I laughed. "You're good looking. Attractive. Handsome. Any of those words ring a bell?"

"Oh, oh, I see." The color of his cheeks bloomed into a lovely blush.

"I want to hear about you and females," I said. "Do you have a girlfriend?"

"My mission doesn't really allow me to associate romantically."

Too bad. But at least he wasn't taken. What was I thinking? If no one could see him but me and Abria, what was he

exactly?
"So... I don't mean to beat the issue down, but...you have skin and hair and I see blood in your veins. You're human but no one can see you except me and Abria. You're alive but...I still don't get it."

"Some guardians have bodies."

"So what I see is real, but how do you come and go so fast? Like earlier. You were in the kitchen, then when Luke

came in, you weren't."

"With a thought I can be anywhere I wish."

"With just a thought?"

He nodded.

"Wow. Cool. How is that done?"

"The ability to move about at will is part of the job."

"Sounds powerful."

"It is. The gift is only bestowed when certain levels of progress are made."

"So not every guardian can do what you can do?"

"There are different levels of guardianship. Some merely assist in a spiritual form. As in when a whisper isn't enough

and an extra umph is required. Others, like me, have bodies to enable them to fully do the work."

My gaze once again traveled the length of him, awe in my study. "Insane."

His brows crimped. "Pardon me?"

"Just an expression. You're not insane, obviously. But... what you can do... who you are... it's just so unbelievable." I let out a sigh of contentment. Feeling safe on such a deep level was not anything I'd ever experienced before, my closest

experience perhaps in moments of profound gratitude when I'd chosen to ponder how blessed I really was.

Abria stood and, gaze locked on the window, once again relentlessly pursued her climb. I jumped up and grabbed her

into my arms. "No, no silly girl." I squeezed her against me.

Matthias joined me at the window and I set her on her feet. I snatched her favorite spinning top and set it in motion on

the window sill. She watched it spin for a few seconds and flapped. A huge grin spread on her face. I wondered how many

other people Matthias had helped. Who were they? Where were they now?

My cell phone vibrated in my pocket and I plucked it out. Matthias watched me with interest. A text from Britt.

wanna party 2 nite?

I smiled. Britt and I were back on.
yeah. where?

brady's f U drive in case you get wasted

9?

I was glad Britt was talking to me again. And I could always use a good time. I looked up from my phone and caught

Matthias' keen blue eyes.

"What is that contraption?" he asked.

Everyone on earth knew what a cell phone was. Then a shocking thought occurred to me. "You've never seen a cell

phone?"

"Cell phone? Is that some sort of derivative of the Alexander Graham Bell telephone?"

I stared at him. Why was his knowledge of worldly events so spotty? "So, you
have
heard of the telephone?"

"Of course. I even used one once or twice."

"Matthias, when did you use the phone?"

"In life."

"In.. .life.. .but you're alive
now"

"When I was alive
then."

"Then being?"

"In mortality."

My heart started the familiar, freaky pound I was getting used to feeling whenever Matthias dropped one of his

shocking bombs of information. I took a deep breath. "But you
are
mortal."

"Yes, but not in the sense
that you
are mortal, Zoe. After my life ended, I passed on to the world of spirits where I—"

"Wait a second!" I held up a hand and steadied my wobbly knees by gripping the window ledge. "You.. .died?"

"Yes. I thought you understood that."

I closed my eyes, gripping the window sill with both hands. My head spun. "This only gets more bizarre."

"Zoe." He was closer to me, I could tell by the sound of his soft voice, now just over my shoulder.
Touch me,
I plead.
Touch
me and show me you are really here so I can put this behind me once and for all and understand.

"Trust the whisperings of your heart."

Eyes pinched tight, I listened to my rapid breath, the heavy pound of my heart against my ribs. Beside me, Matthias'

warmth reached out in comforting assurance that what he was telling me was true.

Believe.

"Is that your voice?" I whispered. "Telling me to believe?"

"No." His warm breath on my neck sent a shudder down my spine. My fingers tensed on the sill. "That voice is your inner light. Listen to it."

I took in a deep breath, unable to do anything but stand statue still, my entire being searching dark corners, softening

edges and deep recesses for the whisper.
Believe.
And then, with the release of breath, every cell inside bloomed, like flowers awakening to the sun's rays. I opened my eyes and looked out into the backyard, at the towering pines and bare aspen trees

and the rising mountain peaks. How beautiful the starkness of winter was in its gray and ash, white and black with slivered

evergreens reaching for Heaven.

I looked at Matthias, his clear blue eyes patient, kind and something more—caring. The same caring I'd seen for Abria

was there for me. I was humbled. Pleased. And in a way disappointed, because the budding woman inside of me saw him as a

man. A man I wanted but couldn't have.

"I understand now," I murmured.

His lips lifted in a faint smile. "I can see that."

Could he see that I was disappointed? Did he know why? I averted my gaze to the view out Abria's window. Sadness

crept inside of me and tried to make itself comfortable, but I ignored it. Matthias was there. I may not have him the way I

wanted to have him—though even how I wanted him was rather ambiguous to me at the moment. Boyfriend didn't feel right.

No, he deserved something much more.
A love interest?
The word love sent silly flutterings through my body.
So soon?

How?
Could my feelings be real?
Definitely. He was in my life. An incredible person I was drawn to like no other. I wanted to know everything about him. I had even more questions about his life, his death and where he'd been in the interim. I was

bursting inside. And he was only in my life because of Abria. But I'd take that over nothing.

I turned so we were face-to-face. He seemed to notice our close proximity for the first time and took a step back.

I'd completely forgotten about Abria, and I tore my gaze from his long enough to see where she was: a few feet away

on the floor, spinning the top over and over and over again, the hum fast then slow, fast then slow.

Glad she was occupied so I could continue to ask Matthias questions, I faced him again. "There's so much I want you

to tell me. Can you tell me? Is it against the rules?"

"I'll share with you what I can."

The sound of the front door shutting in the distance nabbed my attention. I glanced at Abria's closed door. "My

parents."

He nodded. "Yes."

"Are you leaving?"

"I'm not needed here now."

He was right. Abria would be under my family's watchful eye the rest of the evening. But the idea that he was going

to go left me lonely and empty. His presence was so strong, full of light, comfort and certainty, I felt grounded when I was

with him, even though the world around me was a teenage turmoil.

"When will I see you again?" I asked.

"When I'm needed."

"Anybody home?" Mom's voice snuck through the closed door. She was getting closer, and panic set in.

"I wish..."
you wouldn't go,
I wanted to say but the door opened and I whirled around. Mom smiled, and looked from me to Abria. My heart sunk. I knew Matthias was gone.


EIGHT


"How was your day?" Mom came into the room, her long-day-weary eyes on Abria but the question was for me. She

squatted down next to her, the faded scent of her perfume sneaking into the room.

"Fine. How about yours?"

Abria was still spinning the top and didn't notice that Mom had walked in. "Abria, Mommy's here. Abria, look at

Mommy."

Abria finally looked at her. "Good girl for looking at Mommy." Mom stood, sighed. "Mine was pretty good. I got an offer on the Lambert house. It was a walk-in client, so kind of a surprise there. They saw the virtual tour and fell in love with it."

"Wow, that's great."

Mom reached out and played with some strands of my hair. "How about yours? You look..." She eyed me, smiled.

"Happy"

"I do?" I touched both cheeks with my hands. Did Matthias' presence leave me looking like I felt—glowing?

"I'm glad to see it. Especially when you're with Abria."

"I'm always happy when I'm with Abria," I half joked.

Mom laughed. The sight was so pretty, I wanted to throw my arms around her in a big hug.

She headed to the door. "Want to set the table for me? I brought home Little Caesars."

"Sure. Oh, I think we'd better put a lock on this window. When I came in here earlier, I caught her trying to climb out." I knew better than to tell Мom Abria had actually been perched in the window frame. She'd go ballistic and take to sleeping in

Abria's room to make sure she was safe.

Mom went to the window and examined the casing. She sighed. I didn't want her happy mood to change.

"I'll figure something out," I offered.

"The window has a safety latch." She fiddled with the mechanism, sliding the small lever I hadn't noticed before into place. Then she tested the window and it didn't open. "We'll see if that does it. But I wouldn't put it past her to figure out how to undo the safety latch," Mom said.

"She'll be okay"

Mom's face was tight with worry again. "I'd hate to have to put plywood up. Bars would look hideous. Nails would be

so final."

I put my hand on Mom's shoulder. "I bet the security lock will do for now.

"You think so?"

I wished I could tell Mom about Matthias, but that was impossible. "She's smart," I said, "but not that smart. Yet."

Abria, noticing our examination of the window, stood ready to climb up and into it again.

Mom scooped her into her arms and carried her out of the bedroom. "No window, Abria. No.
Dangerous.
Window is

dangerous."

I followed Mom, a small smile on my face. As I went through the doorway, I turned back and took one last look into

the room.
If you're anywhere nearby, Matthias, I'm glad you're here for Abria.

- - -

Britt picked me up in her white mustang convertible and we headed over to Brady's house for the party. Brady was

one of Weston's jock buds. On the hot level, he was about a nine. Weston was a twelve.

Matthias was off the charts.

Britt was radiant in her cream short skirt and soft, fuzzy ivory sweater.

"You look like a snowball," I told her. "Or a bunny."

Britt laughed and threw back a chunk of her blonde hair. "Bunny, yeah, that works." She shot her wrist under my

nose. "New perfume. You like?"

I sniffed. Strong, heavy, penetrating. "Yeah, what is it?"

"Miracle. It stays with me. That's why I like it. And it has licorice in it. Guys dig licorice, ćause it makes them

subconsciously think about food. Did you know that?"

"No. I want some."

"In my purse."

I dug through her pastel hobo and pulled out a magenta bottle, then sprayed some of the intoxicating scent at my pulse

points.

"You're smiling a lot today, what's up?" Britt asked, glancing over. "Seriously, you look happier than I've seen you in a long time."

Matthias' face dangled in the back of my mind. I closed my eyes, wishing he was in the car with me, wishing it was