Authors: Nancy Adams
“Okay, sure whatever!” Ruth threw her hands in the air. “Yes!”
“That’s per hour,” Dave said again. Ruth stood quickly.
“I’m going to go get dressed.”
“You’re not getting in the water,” Dave called, but Ruth was already gone, dashed up the stairs and into her room. He fell silent and took Sarah’s gaze into his own. After a few seconds, she grinned, and then chuckled.
“Now you’re the hero today,” she mused. Dave smirked, and then suddenly became serious.
“You can’t pretend like he never existed.”
For some reason, the words sounded harsher than Sarah was sure Dave meant them to be. Her body hiccuped with a sudden wave of emotion.
“You have no idea how hard it’s been,” she said defensively, lowering her eyes.
“That may be true, but what about Ruth? Look at what it’s done to Ruth—.”
“How dare you,” Sarah whispered harshly. She watched Dave’s face crack.
“I didn’t mean it like that,” he countered weakly. Sarah sat her fork down and pushed up from the table. Just an hour. That’s what he promised Ruth. An hour and no more, and then he had to go. Not just for the day, but forever.
Sarah met his eyes again, and then turned, saying nothing. They met in the living room within twenty minutes. Sarah could tell Ruth had brought her bathing suit.
“Just in case,” Ruth had whined. Sarah simply gritted her teeth and reminded herself about the time. One hour.
One hour
. Nothing more.
The luxurious boat wasn’t available this time, but no one cared. At the shop, Dave readied a 20 footer pontoon and Alex was there to help them lower it into the water. It was amazing to see how the sun and gentle mist from the lake changed everyone’s attitudes. A few subtle glances, grins, and smiles, and at the end of an hour, no on one was keeping track of the time.
They hadn’t brought lunch, having initially been committed to a strict one hour window, but they ended up staying for close to three. Ruth was not the silent child Sarah had grown accustomed to. She conversed excitedly with Dave at every opportunity, asking about his life, his job renting boats, and how he met her mother.
Watching Dave stumble over Ruth’s questions made Sarah smile. He seemed so at ease with her daughter; Sarah hadn’t even known anything like that could be possible, and yet she witnessed them bonding right before her eyes. He patted the top of Ruth’s head just like she was sure Adam would do. He even let her drive the boat—although not really. He steered and Ruth and pushed on the throttle.
When they left, it wasn’t even an argument about whether or not they should get food. They were close to Nashville, it only seemed only reasonable to head downtown for lunch. Afterwards, Sarah couldn’t remember whose idea it was, but someone mentioned the zoo. The zoo! Of all the things there were to do, it seemed like there was no other place they had to be, and so to the zoo they went!
They meandered the exhibits, sighing with disappointment when the animals were gone or hiding and gloating with glee when they were out in their majestic, natural splendor. It wasn’t until they stopped at a table to enjoy an order of Dippin Dots that Sarah had a moment to take the day in. Dave’s hand had periodically found Sarah’s in a comfortable embrace and she didn’t pull away.
Sarah watched Dave with a spoonful of melting balls of ice cream in her mouth. He played with Ruth, tapping the bottom of her chin while she tried to eat. Some of her dots spilled to the ground. In untypical Ruth behavior, she simply flung a plastic fork in his direction. She at the way Dave tried to dodge her weapon of opportunity.
As the evening approached and the sun sagged with heaviness, eager to find shelter behind the trees, their stomachs reminded them that more food was in order. No one objected to another restaurant. Sarah chose a sit-down restaurant this time, a steak house.
Sarah treated her daughter often to restaurants, but the company was never fun or exciting, just pleasant. She loved seeing this released side of her daughter and didn’t want her smiles to stop. It had been so long since her ears had been graced with her giggles, each time she heard them, she felt as if her heart would explode.
They entered the steak house when the sky was a deep, swollen blue changing rapidly to purple and black. After ordering drinks and their meal, Ruth excused herself to the bathroom. They would have all been a little sunburned if it weren’t for the awning of shade the boat provided. They had huddled beneath it during the hottest point of the morning, giggling and laughing at Ruth’s excitement to be over the water.
It was the first moment they had completely alone since they had left Sarah’s house midmorning. With a calming atmosphere sizzling around them, their eyes caught and their smiles grew. Dave slid across the circular booth, pressing the side of his body against Sarah’s. At this point, she couldn’t resist.
When he lifted a finger to her chin and pulled her lips to his, she welcomed him eagerly with a sigh. She felt like she had been made for him, but that couldn’t have been possible. She had been made for Adam. That was a fact. He had been perfect…well, as perfect as a man could be.
Dave pulled back and searched her eyes. A shadow passed over his face and he leaned back completely and reached for his cup. Sarah grinned and touched his thigh.
“So…are you sure you don’t have any kids?” Sarah asked. Dave laughed and shook his head. “You’re so at ease with Ruth?” It was a statement, yet spoken like a confused question.
Dave traced a line along his bottom lip with his finger. His eyes cast over with thought before he spoke. “I didn’t have a mother—I mean, my mother wasn’t around. She left my dad when I was young. He barely took care of us and I was the oldest so,” he shrugged. “I raised my sisters. Three of them. I was ten and they were six four and three.”
Sarah whispered. “What did your father do?”
“I dunno,” Dave chuckled away Sarah’s concern. “He worked. A lot.”
“Wow,” Sarah took a deep breath. “Well, you seem okay.” He smiled brightly suddenly.
“I had great grandparents,” he paused, “and I’ve been through counseling, which helped. Had some good male role models and lots of psych evals.”
“Psycho evals?”
“When’s this food gonna come,” Ruth roared, stepping back onto the scene with laughter in her words. Dave welcomed her presence eagerly. And just like that, their moment shattered. The food arrived within ten minutes and they ate like they had never known another care in the world.
Ruth fell asleep in the car, waking up just as they arrived at Sarah’s house. Dave accompanied the women to the door, and as Sarah pushed the second door open, Ruth squeezed through and bounded inside and up the steps. Sarah stepped through and held the door open for Dave, but he stopped at the doorway.
“Have a good night, Sarah,” Dave’s voice was small as he called to her an obvious “goodbye”. Sarah turned to him and frowned.
“You could probably come in…for a bit—a little bit,” she pointed behind her and shifted her weight. Dave’s eyes darted across her face. He suppressed a smile and shook his head.
“I probably shouldn’t.”
Frowning, Sarah turned to him more fully. He held the storm door open with the side of his body. She saw distress falling over his face.
“Are you sure?” She touched Dave’s face, the first time, and felt the hairs lining his chin. He turned into her touch and closed his eyes. As much as the thought of Dave and her heart scared her, in that moment, she felt only warmth.
“You’re not going to try and tell me you have to work, are you?” She giggled and stepped towards Dave. Defeated, he lowered his head into her kiss and entwined his fingers in her messy bun.
“As much as I want to,” he breathed, “I can’t. There are things I have to do.”
Sarah smirked. She wasn’t sure what that meant. Perhaps he had his own baggage to work through. That didn’t make sense to her, but his kiss left her feeling so good, she nodded without thought.
“Okay. And when you’re finished with that stuff?” A smile still played on her lips.
Dave smiled fully. “Then I’ll be here,” he grinned and touched Sarah’s waist. It was barely a movement, but she felt it just the same and leaned into him again, locking her lips with hers. She felt the doorpost against her back as Dave pushed against her. Logic and reason melted away.
“Are you sure you can’t come in?” She said after another gulp of air. Dave’s chuckle tickled her ear.
“I’m positive,” he said, breathless with a husky voice. “I have things to do, so many things.”
Sarah pulled back to peer into his eyes. “You can’t tell me what they are?” Dave shook his head. His face turned downcast.
“I’m afraid not.”
Pouting, Sarah played with the buttons lining his shirt. She smiled when she heard the hitch in his throat. “I don’t like that,” she said softly. “Secrets don’t make friends.”
Dave took a step back and began to rub along his forehead roughly. He dropped his eyes and shook his head. “I gotta go now, okay?” Staring at Dave, Sarah’s giddiness drained.
“I’ll see you again, right?” She didn’t understand how she suddenly felt like Dave was preparing to embark on a long voyage.
“Of course,” Dave tried to smirk but failed. “I just,” he took another step back and glanced over his shoulder. “I just have some things I have to take care of first, okay?”
“Do you have somebody to kill?” Sarah scoffed.
Dave smiled weakly and faltered. “I don’t just rent boats,” he said softly. Sarah frowned.
“Okay…so, what else do you do?”
He pressed his lips together and shook his head. “Later, okay?” He searched Sarah’s eyes. “Not right now. I can’t tell you now.”
Sarah tersely sucked in a stab of breath. “Okay, so if not now, when?”
“Sarah, please,” Dave pleaded with her. She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms.
“Are you going to give me another trust speech?” The anger in her voice was evident.
“Have I given you a reason not to?” Dave countered, unmoved. His words got to Sarah. No. No, he hadn’t given her a reason. She broke their connection and looked away, scratching her arm with defeat.
“I guess I’ll see you later then.”
“Yes,” Dave said quickly. “You will.” He didn’t wait for a response but turned quickly, heading back to his truck. Sarah didn’t want to watch him leave, but she couldn’t help but stare at him after she had stepped into the house and closed and locked her doors.
Once in his truck, Dave seemed to just sit there. It was too dark to make anything out, but he didn’t appear to be starting the truck or anything. Sarah sighed and put her back against the door. Where her veins had recently been flowing with excitement and pleasure, now she just felt fire and anger running through her core.
She knocked her head against the door and frowned. That actually hurt. She rubbed the back of her head and bent forward on her knees. Pulling Dave inside and falling into her bed wouldn’t really accomplish anything though. She didn’t date because her life wasn’t a revolving door. She needed someone who would want to partner with her, not pass through when it was convenient. She had to remember that.
Standing, she took a deep breath and peered out the crushed glass window panes to the side of the front door. Dave’s truck was still there. She didn’t know what he had to do, but he was definitely wiser for staying away. Maybe this was better after all. No sooner than her thoughts began to slow, the truck started in a loud rumble. Dave took off seconds later.
Playing Catch up
As Dave forced himself to put distance between him and Sarah, he couldn’t get the look of disappointment on her face to leave his mind. He slung himself into his truck and sat, the weight of all his unfinished tasks pressing down upon his shoulders.
He didn’t know why he had chosen to go back to her house in the morning, but he knew the moment he left that he would do what was necessary to be back bright and early. He could tell she was tired. All he wanted to do was help—but he shouldn’t have even wanted to do that. He was losing focus on what he was really in town for. Sarah was kind of messing things up, in a good way though, a damned good way, but he hadn’t planned for this and now he was losing it.
He dropped his forehead on the steering wheel. He didn’t even bother to wince. He needed the pain to wake him up. He wasn’t here to fall in love with some woman and her daughter. He was here to work. Nothing more nothing less, and yet, even as those words floated in his mind they pierced his gut deeper than anything he could imagine.
He told Sarah that he would explain everything and see her in a few days, but now that reason was starting to come back to him, he really felt like maybe he was just trying to tell her what she needed to hear. He knew what was good for her, and he wasn’t it. He was just as likely to hurt her again and he couldn’t bear that thought.
They would never be able to be together, and if she knew the truth, she would understand. But he didn’t want to hurt her anymore. She had been hurt too much. So maybe the day they had—the absolutely incredibly fun day they had where he felt like he truly belonged to something other than his work…maybe that was just going to become a keepsake. Something for them both to hold onto and cherish. He had yet to decide about that. One thing was certain, He was slipping and needed to get his head on straight.
Dave lifted his eyes towards Sarah’s house. He could see the outline of her body, the silhouette of her figure against the crushed glass on her door. With a sigh, he inserted the keys and prepared to start the truck.
He knew he needed to check his other phones, but he had left those at home purposefully. That was a stupid move. Perhaps it would have let him call a stop to the day a lot sooner, but he knew himself and the truth was, he hadn’t wanted the day to end either or give it a chance to be interrupted.
Dave cursed beneath his breath, a loud sound that rippled through the inside of the truck. He punched at the dials on the console to start the radio. He didn’t care what played. He just needed sound to block his thoughts of Sarah out.
At his apartment, he tucked the truck into the storage and jogged up the steps inside the building to get to his unit. Once he had his phones in hand, he cursed at the missed calls and texts. Someone was going to be pissed.
He missed two drops. Probably six kilos each. He’d need to right his route soon so as not to upset those that waited for his delivery. But more than that, he had missed a call from an informant, someone personal he had met on the streets.
That man had been his eyes and ears. He needed to meet him, and then he’d have to get caught up. He checked the time. Two hours until his next window. He had two locker combinations this time. The last one was the most recent.
Changing his clothes into a shaggier pair of jeans, and swapping his shirt for a faded graphic tee, he grabbed a pair of shades and paused to press a small audio transmitter just behind his ear. He’d want a recording of what his informant had to say and any other form of communication to cover himself.
“Hey, what are you doing calling?” Was the gruff greeting he received, heavily hidden with a country drawl that morphed and strung his words together. They would have been difficult to understand with a Midwestern ear, but he had grown used to the sounds of the south.
“There’s nothing to worry about,” Dave countered quickly. “You text from this phone so it’s still traceable.” He heard the man sigh on the other line.
“For real?”
“Yes,” Dave rolled his eyes. “For real. I need to meet with you soon.”
“Can’t. I’m with my baby momma.”
“Then tell her you’ll see her later. I need to meet with you now.”
“You said soon.”
“I’m really not in the mood to play,” Dave’s voice was hard. “That shipment. I need to know what you know. Meet me in ten at the edge of the park near 23
rd
, got it?” Dave paused, and then hung up quickly. He knew from experience not to wait for a response.
He dropped the phone into his lap and looked around. Someone was lurking in the shadows within an abandoned house. They were watching him. He started the beater car and set out to head to the spot. He arrived just before the meeting time and spotting his informant immediately. He was black and had a mustache and belly lopping over dingy jeans.
“What can you tell me about the shipment,” Dave began tartly. He nodded to the man and motioned to the park. They began to walk.
“It’s a new line for sure.”
Dave nodded. He already knew that though. “And the warehouses?”
“Still sitting empty but guarded. I think they’re planning on stocking sometime within the next week.”
Looking towards the man, Dave stroked his chin. “Antony,” he said calmly, “where’d you hear that?”
“Everybody’s talking about the new line,” he chuckled. “Dope blow from Florida. We all want that coastal sh—.”
“You know it’s from Florida? Where?”
“Man, I dunno,” Antony could care less. “You got payment for my services?”
“You haven’t even told me anything I didn’t already know,” Dave almost growled. “You said you had dates and times.”
“I do. But what are you going to give me?”
This was the part he hated. Negotiations for information. He could give cash, but street talkers didn’t want cash.
“Depends on how good your information is,” Dave finally responded. Anthony smirked, his belly shaking as he leaned towards Dave, unthreatened. They were about the same height, but Dave knew that he was stronger and could take him in a fistfight if necessary.
“Depends on how good the blow is,” Antony said with a greedy snarl.
He could probably spare a kilo, but he wasn’t going to give Antony that much. He didn’t even like the guy.
“How’s a quarter?”
Antony’s eyes glistened with the rising moonlight. “Alright. I hear the new line’s head is coming back in less than a week. Maybe by Friday. I know some guys guarding the warehouses—.”
“Why didn’t you tell me that first?” Dave gasped.
“When that blow comes, won’t no one get in or out that ain’t supposed to be there,” Antony warned. He paused. “What’re you gonna do?”
“Don’t worry about that,” Dave snapped. “You get me the guard shifts. I need their names.”
“Can’t do that,” Antony said quickly.
“Then what can you do?” Dave asked. He was beyond irritable.
Under the revealing moonlight, Antony’s face changed. His smile dropped and he became serious. “I got the address. I can….” he looked down, “…get you their shift changes, man, nothing else. I ain’t getting involved. When that blow comes—.”
“You better be outta here,” Dave warned cautiously. “If you want to keep Tanisha safe.”
“You can do that?”
“You gotta stop the blow,” Dave said with a simple shrug. “I could help.”
Antony scratched his chin. “Can I get mine? I need to get back to my girl.”
About an hour later, Dave sat in his computer chair with his hands draped in between his legs. He had given Antony what he had promised and had made one drop. To make his call, he needed to come home first and now he waited patiently. Thoughts of Sarah and Ruth had long since drained from his mind, and that was the way it should have been.
When he was working the field, all of his senses were on high alert. It was necessary to stay alive. Meeting Antony had been a lifesaver for him. It brought him closer to the information he needed about the new line. Those things just didn’t pop up overnight. They took years to establish and the fact that they had been able to cross state lines so easily left a terrible feeling in Dave’s mouth. He didn’t understand why no one had been able to stop it before it had come to Nashville. He warned his command about this years ago. People were going to die now. Good people.
He wanted to say innocent people, but after some point, drug addicts were just that: addicts addicted to their next high. They didn’t see anything beyond their next fix; but, that was not his concern.
He held the phone in his hand and waited. Less than a minute. He selected the number and let his thumb hover over the call button. When it was time, he pressed it and shoved the phone into his ear.
“Blue echo two.”
“Red bravo three,” was the response. “Where the hell have you been?”
Dave lost his breath and stuttered. “I got hung up. Call is five minutes, right?”
“Shipment on schedule now. Tracked from Tallahassee.”
“Got it. I have the address. When it arrives, we’ll miss recon opportunity.”
“Well, that’s some good news,” the voice in the receiver didn’t hide their annoyance. Dave pressed his lips together and steadied his breaths.
“ETA on shipment?”
“Wednesday between 1900 and 0300 hours. Depends on how many stops and for how long.”
“And our Mark?” Dave questioned, he reached for his desk and grabbed a pen. His hand fumbled for something blank to jot his notes onto.
“Probably flying back. We’ll let you know what we catch.”
Dave smiled. He hadn’t blown everything after all. “Am I clear to recon?”
There was silence. “Give us the address, let us scope, we’ll get back to you. Give us 48 hours.”
“Wednesday’s not that far away,” Dave grumbled.
“Give us 48 hours,” they repeated, and then after a breath, “you missed last night’s pick up.”
“I have it now. It’s recorded. Time?” Dave wasn’t going to explain himself. There was a second of silence.
“Time. Red bravo three.”
“Blue echo two,” Dave disconnected the call and dropped his head into his hands. He hadn’t even realized the adrenaline that coursed through his body. His hands shook and sweat beaded on his lips.
“I can’t see her again,” Dave said aloud, his voice an awkward frequency in the stillness around him. He shook his head. Not until he figured everything else out. He didn’t know when that would be exactly, but at the moment, he didn’t even have the time to try and sort it all out. He needed to keep his mind focused on the new line.