Authors: Nancy Adams
“Can I open them now?”
“Not yet. Put your hand on the steering wheel,” Dave instructed. She lifted her left hand and groped around weakly with her eyes closed. Dave chuckled, and a second later, she felt his hand gently guide her to the hot leather of the wheel cover. She gripped it tightly. Dave ran his fingers over her hand.
“Loosen up a bit, it’s not going anywhere,” he instructed, tapping at her fingers.
Sarah heard another weak chuckle fall from her lips. She wanted to open her eyes, but found herself squeezing them shut to keep them close. It seemed a little easier with them closed.
“Tell me which direction to go,” Dave told her.
“What?” Sarah’s eyes flew open.
“Close ‘em,” Dave barked playfully. Sarah closed her eyes again. “I said, tell me which direction to go. We’re going forward. Say left or right and we’ll go there. I’ll be your eyes.”
“But—.”
“It’s not complicated,” Dave said quickly. “Left or right. That’s it.”
Sarah searched the back of her eyelids and then sighed. She felt Dave pushing against her hand, pushing the boat faster.
“Left,” Sarah said softly. Without a word, she felt Dave tilt the steering wheel to the left gently. She could feel the course change from the wind on her face. Dave shifted behind her, and then moved his hand away from the throttle. She no longer felt him there.
“Push it forward,” he instructed. Sarah listened this time without a word. They were still angled slightly left.
“Should we go straight?” Sarah asked.
“You tell me.”
“I can’t see,” Sarah whined. “Are we going to hit someone?”
Dave chuckled. “We’re fine for now, but we can go straight or right.”
“Okay, maybe right a little,” Sarah pushed against the wheel and turned it to the right. She waited to feel the flesh of Dave’s palm against her skin, but it never came.
“Dave?”
“I’m still here. That’s all you. You’re driving. We’re going about 20 knots I think,” Dave paused and muttered something beneath his breath. “That’s around 25 or so miles per hour.”
“I’m driving?”
“Yes, keep your eyes closed though,” Dave spoke to her softly, stroking the surface of her heart. “How does it feel?”
Sarah wet her lips and tilted her face up. She felt more fine mist and heat from the sun. The wind was faster, her hair wilder.
“Amazing,” she answered finally. “It feels amazing.”
“You can open your eyes now,” Dave seemed to whisper to her. She took a moment, but then slowly withdrew the darkness over her eyes, revealing the sprawling glistening green-tinted lake before her. Her heart began to race and she wasn’t even sure why.
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Dave asked behind her. He touched her right hand on the throttle and pulled back just a little, easing their speed. There was nothing around them. A few boats were in the distance, but so far away that Sarah couldn’t even make out who was on board.
Releasing the throttle, Sarah stepped to the left of the console and clasped her hands together. She grinned at Dave and then dropped her eyes. She felt like her heart could burst and didn’t know what to say.
“Thank you,” she said softly. Gratitude was always a good way to go, Sarah reasoned. Dave smiled, and then placed the boat in neutral.
“Are you hungry yet?” He asked Sarah.
“Maybe in half an hour,” Sarah’s chest heaved as she took in a deep gulp of air, and yet she felt it wasn’t enough. She crossed a single arm over her chest and held the other hanging at her side.
Dave looked over the console of the boat absently as Sarah watched him quietly. She wanted to believe that perhaps Dave was just being a nice guy but she couldn’t tell anymore. He probably took many women on rides like this.
Yes, that’s it
. It was a great maneuver and trick to play.
And to think, I almost fell for it.
Sarah’s face hardened and she turned from Dave. The sound of his voice caused her to look towards him again.
“I think I start the grill and get the food cooking,” Dave said, after touching some dials and knobs on the console. “I’m going to drop our anchor here so we don’t drift and I can turn the boat off, okay?” Dave glanced towards Sarah and paused. His eyes ran over her face. “Are you okay?” Sarah nodded.
“Okay, well, we’ll probably stay here for a bit and then head to shore after we eat, okay?”
Sarah smiled politely. “Sure.”
If Becky wanted her to just enjoy the afternoon and have a quick replacement for Bruce’s absence, she had succeeded. She just had to keep her heart in check.
Wounded Heart
Thirty minutes later found Sarah and Dave with their feet dipped into the lake from the front of the boat. Sarah had only to slip her heels off. Dave had his shoes and socks set aside. His pants were rolled up to his knees.
The meal had been a Grade A slice of gourmet beef for burgers. Dave explained that he thought a burger would be better over the wine and steaks they normally gave couples to create the ambiance of a perfect evening.
As a wine replacement, Dave had brought a slim selection of soft drinks, and potato chips. Sarah loved potato chips. He even had ranch. You couldn’t go wrong with ranch. You just couldn’t….unless you forgot it of course.
Sarah dipped a chip into the puddle of ranch pooled on her plate and smiled. At her side, Dave leaned back on hands and let his head fall back. They hadn’t said much, but with the beauty of J. Percy Priest Lake, they didn’t have to. The world around them was speaking enough.
Birds flew high and low. The breeze carried a song that warmed and tickled their ears, causing them to chuckle randomly just from feeling good. Just good, nothing more. Sarah couldn’t remember the last time she had felt “just good”.
Inside, her spirit was calm. No rushing tumult of waters or frustrating cascading falls of all her worst fears and worries. Her mind was blank. When she looked up at the sky, all she saw was blue and puffs of white and dots of black.
“You have a very beautiful smile,” Dave said softly at her side. Sarah lifted her head and turned to him. She had copied his stance and leaned back on her arms too, a thick, plastic plate on her lap. She smiled at him again.
“You’re giving me another?” Dave asked, grinning back at her. Sarah turned then and let her head drop back again. She felt her hair brush again her arms and closed her eyes.
“Thank you,” she said softly a moment later. “This is really wonderful.”
“Well, don’t thank me, thank Becky,” Dave said quickly.
“So, why now?” Sarah asked. She lifted her head and turned it to look at Dave. “If Becky’s mentioned me before. Why the interest today?” He avoided her eyes and pushed himself forward, with a slumping back.
“Well, I don’t know. I guess I figured it could be a good way to spend the afternoon. You know, with a beautiful woman,” he smiled sheepishly. “I don’t get too many days off by myself so,” he shrugged. “I guess I figured what the hey.”
Sarah smirked. “What the hey,” she repeated, wrinkling her nose. Dave watched her and grinned. His eyes shined and he looked over her, the smile fading gradually as his face darkened.
“I should probably get you back,” he cleared his throat and withdrew his feet from the short deck. “Do you have the time?”
Sarah leisurely pulled her feet back after removing her plate. “No, I don’t usually wear watches.”
“Never mind, I’ve got it. It’s 2:17.”
“2:17?” Sarah stood up quickly and looked around at the surrounding mass of green trees. She couldn’t see the dock they had come from anymore. She wasn’t even sure which way it was because she had closed her eyes.
“My daughter’s school gets out at 3:05. Shoot!” She clenched her fists and then quickly ran her fingers through her hair. Her eyes scanned the ground frantically for her shoes.
“It’s okay,” Dave answered her back calmly. He was at the side of the boat, retracting the anchor. “I’ll get you back safely. What school?”
“Gladeville,” Sarah mumbled, shoving her feet into the heels lying on the deck.
“I’m not sure I know where that is,” Dave responded coolly. Sarah huffed and began to pick up the remnants of their trash.
“It’s in Ashville, off 840 from I-40,” Sarah paused and tried to do some quick calculations. “We’ll never get there in time. You said it was about 20 minutes from my shop to yours. There’s no time—.”
“Calm down,” Dave soothed. He finished with the anchor and slipped into the captain’s chair. “When we get back, I can just take you there first to get your daughter and drop you back at your shop.”
Sarah frowned. “No, that won’t do. I need my car.”
“Sarah,” Dave turned her, “you’ll be late then. I-40 is right next to the shop. I can take you there and we’ll probably be on time—.”
“You need to drop me off.”
“Sarah,” Dave’s voice was hard when he said her name this time. “What are you afraid of?” His chest heaved with his heavy words. “Seriously, why are you so scared?” The sudden hardness in his voice shocked Sarah. She fell into silence and looked away.
“Look,” Dave began again in a much softer tone, “I’m just trying to help you. If you want to get to the school in time, then I can take you. If you want to be late, I’ll take you back to your shop first.” Sarah turned away from Dave and put her back to him without a word. “You can tell me what you want to do when we get back to the docking ramp.”
Sarah turned to face Dave at his last words, but he faced the console and started the motor again. He pushed the throttle forward and let it idle for a moment before engaging the gear to move forward. Sarah didn’t move again until after he turned the boat around and began to move glide effortlessly across the lake’s surface.
In Sarah’s hands were an empty bag of chips and two plastic plates. She finished cleaning up their lunch mess and placed it into the trash. By the time she was done, she could make out the docking ramp near the edge of shore, but her mind was still blank.
She just didn’t want him to see her daughter. She didn’t know why. They weren’t dating. She really didn’t even know him. It was just a ride. That’s it. Nothing more.
Before reaching the dock, Dave was on his phone making arrangements for Alex to meet him with the truck. His orders were quick and authoritative. At the ramp, Alex began to back the truck up the closer they came. By the time they reached the shore, the truck was in place.
Together, Alex and Dave moved swiftly to attach the boat to the truck. Afterwards, Dave backed the truck towards the shed built into the side of the office. The entire process took an extra fifteen minutes, and brought them to 2:43 pm.
Sarah waited anxiously in the parking lot for the truck to arrive unhitched from the boat. As it did, Dave pulled up to her and braked. Sarah eagerly helped herself inside and pulled on her seat belt. Dave watched her for a moment before speaking.
“It’s about 2:45. Where should I go?”
Biting her lip, Sarah nodded. “Towards her school please,” she said softly. “Take I-40 to 840.”
“Should be less than 20 minutes,” he responded. They road in silence, listening to the sound of the wind bending over the vehicle. Cars and other vehicles whizzed pass them, but in Sarah’s mind, there was only silence. It shouldn’t be a problem to have a man drive her to her daughter’s school. But it was.
This was a man her daughter didn’t know. Someone her daughter had never seen before. She wondered if that would mean anything, but she honestly didn’t know. Sarah didn’t know any rules about dating with children and never stopped to consider what it would look like—but they weren’t dating. He was just showing her a good time. Wait, that didn’t sound right.
Sarah pinched her brow and started to massage her temples vigorously. She hated how life had to be so complicated. She hated how her heart had to feel—really, that might seem bit ridiculous to some, but to her, the very thought that her heart could still feel
anything
after knowing the grief it felt when Bruce had given her the news only made her sick.
It shouldn’t be right for one person to feel so much pain. At times, the loss had even felt physical. How was that even possible? To have your heart hurt so much that your body ached? Her eyes had been red for days and weeks; that should be enough to keep her from ever putting her heart in a place to be hurt so much again.
She didn’t think she could survive something like that a second time. Then again, she didn’t really know how she survived the first time with Adam’s death. She didn’t mean to; she just kept waking up and with each new day, she took her morning breath and rose to slowly rebuild the destroyed pieces that had been her life.
It had been far from easy, but five years later, she was a survivor of her husband’s death. She was finally at a place where she could laugh. Granted, she didn’t do it often. But, was she at a place where she could love? No. She’d never put herself in that place again.
The Complication
They arrived at the school with just a couple of minutes to spare. It angered Sarah a little bit, to know that Dave had been right. But she also knew that he would be right. If he had taken her back to the shop, she would have most definitely been late by at least 20 minutes. Doing this his way allowed for them to arrive just before 3:05.
There was a long line of cars, but Dave patiently pulled into line at the back and leaned back into the driver’s seat. After a moment, he turned to Sarah.
“I’m sorry if I upset you.”
“No, no,” Sarah began, “I was being ridiculous,” she finished in a huff.
“You were, weren’t you?” Dave said quickly. Sarah turned to him and laughed. She playfully hit his arm.
“You’re not supposed to admit to that.”
“Oh no?” Dave laughed and caught her hand when she tried to push him again. His grip was strong, it pulled Sarah’s eyes to his.
“I’m glad I met you today,” Dave said softly. Sarah’s smile fell. That couldn’t be right. The only thing she remembered doing was being on edge the entire time. She slipped her hand from Dave’s palm and cradled her hands into her lap. As silence joined them, Sarah took the moment to look out the window.
“So…um,” Dave cleared his throat loudly, “when did he pass?”
Sarah turned to him. “Excuse me?”
“Your husband,” he nodded towards her right hand. “Those are yours and his rings, right?”
The line of cars inched forward slowly and Dave moved the truck accordingly. As he stopped it and put the vehicle in neutral, he turned to Sarah and watched her. Her right hand was on top of her left and she twisted the sparkling wedding bands and engagement ring to the right, and then back to the left.
“Are you divorced?” Dave questioned after he moved the truck another spaced.
“Widowed,” Sarah answered. She kept her eyes glued to the window. She heard Dave suck in air at her side.
“I’m sorry. That must be so hard.”
Sarah turned to Dave suddenly. “I get by,” she said firmly. Dave’s eyes brightened.
“That’s good.”
She nodded. “I mean, it sucks some days but,” she nodded again, “I’m alright.”
“You seem like a very strong woman.”
Sarah looked down. “That’s what all my friends say,” she grumbled through gritted teeth.
“Maybe a little too strong.”
Sarah barked out a laugh. “I think I’m just the right amount of strong,” her eyes were still down.
“Is that right?” Dave challenged lightly.
Turning to him quickly, Sarah held his eyes fiercely with her own. “Yes, it is.”
“Is your daughter as stubborn as you?” Dave grinned when he saw Sarah’s face. She frowned, scoffed, and then laughed. Dave’s grin became a wide smile and his chuckle joined hers.
“No, my daughter is quiet, silent,” Sarah sighed. “You’ll see,” she said softly. “She hardly ever speaks to me,” Sarah faced Dave quickly. “But she’s a good kid. A great kid. I love her to the moon and back.”
Dave smiled and moved the truck two more spaces. There was only one car in front of them, and a teacher stood with a clipboard. The school teacher approached the passenger’s window. Sarah lowered it down to show her face. The pickup attendant raised an eye, looking from Sarah to Dave.
“I’m here for—.”
“Ruth Cole!” The overweight teacher called. She looked towards Sarah and grinned. “Please move up to the pickup spot one space.”
Dave moved the vehicle and braked. He stared past Sarah’s head and frowned.
“Did you see that grin she gave you?” He asked.
Sarah rolled her eyes. “It’s because there’s a man with me,” she answered. “This place isn’t that big. We all know each other here.”
“Oh,” Dave chuckled. “It’s one of those places.”
“Yes,” Sarah glanced over her shoulder. “Rumors spread like wild fire.” She met Dave’s eyes and searched his face.
“Is that why you didn’t want me to bring you here?” His eyes ran over her face, darting from her lips to her eyes. Glancing down, Sarah briefly met Dave’s gaze again before she looked away.
“I guess so…yes,” she answered. “That’s exactly it.” She spotted Ruth and stuck her hand out the car. “Hey sweetie, over here!” It took Ruth a moment, but she locked eyes with Sarah, and then they grew into round balls.
“Mom!” Ruth called. She hurried towards the truck and stuck her head into the passenger’s window.
“Who is that? Who’s truck is this? Is this his truck?” Ruth pulled her head back as the large teacher helping assist the line touched her shoulder. Ruth backed away from the truck and then slipped into the extended cab in the back.
“Wow,” Ruth breathed with bright eyes, “this truck is so cool.”
“Let me know when you’re buckled in,” Dave said. Ruth looked up and met his eyes.
“Wow, you have really brown eyes,” she commented. Dave chuckled.
“I’m Dave,” he started.
Sarah twisted in her seat to get her daughter’s attention. “Yes, this is Dave, sweetie,” she turned to Dave. “This is Ruth. My daughter.”
Dave extended a hand to Ruth and she took it, shaking firmly.
“How do you do?” Ruth asked brightly. Dave laughed and glanced towards Sarah. A shadow passed over her face, one that drained the smile from Dave’s lips. He turned towards the steering wheel and put the car in first gear.
“I’m just here so that your mother could pick you up on time,” Dave commented. Ruth nodded but didn’t say anything. “I’m going to drop you guys off at her shop and then you can be about your normal business,” he glanced in Sarah’s direction, who was still twisted in the seat.
“Wait a minute,” Ruth’s face and voice grew hard. “Mom, you didn’t forget about my ice cream did you?”
Sarah’s voice caught in her throat. She cast Dave a glance and then wet her lips.
“No, baby. Not at all. We can go once I get the car.”
“But you said we could go after school,” Ruth’s voice started to drift and become small.
“Yes, after he—after Dave—drops us off and I get my car.”
Ruth searched her mother’s face. Her face fell ashen and then she pulled her book bag into her lap. After a moment, she began searching frantically through the outer compartment.
“Ruth—.”
“It’s okay, Mom. Don’t worry about it,” Ruth found what she was looking for: her headphones. She stuffed them into her ears and sighed deeply.
Sarah watched her daughter. She felt like she could hear her heart breaking. Ruth sighed heavily again and then turned her eyes to the window with a scowl forming on her lips.
“Are you sure she’s not stubborn like you?” Dave asked softly. Sarah whirled to him. “That was incredibly insensitive of me,” he said quickly.
“Just drive,” Sarah muttered. She gripped the seat belt as it crossed over her chest. “Please, just drive,” her voice was a thin whisper. She turned her eyes down and stared at the door to the truck. Moments later, she wiped at her cheeks. As Dave pulled to the stop sign leading out to the main road, he hesitated.
“You know, I don’t have anywhere to be right now. I can take you to get ice cream,” he whispered softly. Sarah straightened her back quickly and turned to meet Dave’s eyes. Her stare was hard. “I’m only offering to help,” he whispered again. Sarah shook her head after her lips kept moving without sound.
“Sarah,” Dave pursed his lips as the car behind him honked impatiently. He ignored it and turned to her\ again, “You can trust me. I’m not a serial killer, remember?”
Rolling her eyes with frustration, Sarah huffed deeply. “I can trust you? I don’t even know you,” she spat, unnecessarily harsh.
Dave’s face hardened. “You just spent three hours with me. You know me a little,” his voice hardened as he became serious. “I can take you to get ice cream and you can be the heroine tonight,” he shrugged his shoulders, “or I can drop you off at your shop. I don’t really care,” he added quickly. “But the offer’s there.” Behind him, two more cars honked. “But it’s gone in about three seconds.”
“Fine!” Sarah said quickly in another terse whisper. “Fine, ice cream…please. Ice cream,” she touched her forehead and sighed. “Goodness this day as been—.”
“What?” Dave stopped whispering and spoke to her directly. “Terrible?” He shifted the gears and turned left to head back towards the interstate. “Is that what you were going to say?” Sarah met Dave’s toying smile and couldn’t help but grin.
“Yes.”
“Oh really?” Dave scoffed playfully, easing the coiled tension between them, “Because that’s not what you were saying about 45 minutes ago.” Sarah laughed and looked away. She pressed her lips together and forced a sigh as she covered her face with her palms and shook her head. After another second of holding her body taunt, she relaxed her muscles and let out a breath of stolen air.
“I don’t like unpredictable,” Sarah admitted at length. “And I hate spontaneity.” Dave was silent. After a few seconds had passed, Sarah uncovered her face and glanced towards him. Dave’s eyes were on the road, but he turned and looked at her squarely.
“You have a kid,” and in the next half second, he faced the road again. The laugh was gone from his voice.
Sarah nodded and straightened her back against the seat. “So I’m ridiculous about that too?”
She watched Dave’s face crack with a smile, like the sun stepping forth from the clouds. She touched her chest, feeling for her heart. Dave glanced towards her and grinned with a teasing, lingering look at her lips.
“No, I don’t think you’re ridiculous about that at all,” his eyes trailed back to Sarah face and they held briefly before he turned his attention back to the road.
Glancing behind her into the back seat, Sarah took in a breath and held it. “Thank you,” she turned to Dave and reached for his hand on the gearshift. “Again.” Her only response was a smile.
They rode the rest of the way in silence. It was a short trip. A matter of 11 minutes total. When they arrived at the interstate intersection, Sarah directed Dave to the nearest Dairy Queen. It had an empty parking lot save for two vehicles.
Sarah turned in her seat and caught her daughter’s attention. Ruth had effectively managed to keep her eyes closed the entire trip. At Sarah’s prompting, Ruth reluctantly lifted her eyes, her lack of enthusiasm present in the scowl she wore on her lips.
“We’re here,” Sarah said softly. She motioned to her ears and lazily, Ruth lowered one earbud.
“What did you say?”
“I said we’re here.”
Ruth puffed and looked up. Her face with from a dark shadowed alley to a shining meadow bathed in sunlight in a matter of seconds. Her mouth dropped first, and then quickly became a smile.
“Are we going to go in?” Ruth asked quickly.
Sarah’s voice caught in her throat. “I thought the drive-thru would be fine,” she stammered, and glanced towards Dave. He grinned and whispered.
“Not a serial killer.”
“Okay, let’s go inside,” Sarah forced a smile towards Ruth, who’s infant grin grew two sizes.
“Oh my gosh, this is so awesome. Thanks Mom,” Ruth giggled as Dave pushed through the parking lot. He parked the truck and within seconds from cutting the engine, Ruth leaped from the truck. Inside, Ruth stood first at the counter, hands on her hips. She opened her mouth to order, but then turned around, facing Dave and Sarah.
“Do I have to get a soft serve? Or can I get a smoothie and a sundae?” Sarah pressed her lips together. If Dave wasn’t here, she would have suggested a cone to eat in the car so they could return quickly to the shop.
“How about you gals get whatever you want. Knock yourselves out, and I’ll pay,” Dave chirped in confidently. Ruth’s eyes grew and she quickly turned back to the counter, order two things rapidly. Sarah didn’t have a chance to catch what they were. She turned to Dave with her lips twisted.
“I hardly need you to cover a ten buck trip to Dairy Queen,” Sarah said sourly. Dave chuckled.
“Or you could just say thank you,” he grinned and stepped towards the counter, ordering a brownie fudge sundae and Orange Julius. Sarah frowned, but quickly managed a smile when Ruth faced her.
“What are you going to get, Mom? Get a sundae,” Ruth urged.
Sarah eyed the menu with a frown. She really wasn’t into sweets, but ice cream was a weakness. That’s why she rarely got it. She could eat a whole pint if necessary.
“I’ll just have a vanilla soft serve cone.”
“Oh, you’re no fun,” Ruth grumbled.
“Yeah, Sarah,” Dave mocked. “No fun. Get a sundae.” The cashier hesitated before adding her order to the total. Sarah swallowed the comment she really wanted to make.
“I’m fine with a soft serve cone,” she spoke directly to the cashier this time, but the young woman still hesitated and looked at Dave. “That’s it,” Sarah said with an extra nod for emphasis. The cashier finally moved and calculated the total. Dave paid and afterwards, they slipped into a booth along the right side of the store with a perfect view of the back of Dave’s truck.
Ruth and Sarah sat opposite Dave. Now that her headphones were gone and left in the truck, Ruth was alert. She sat patiently with her hands in her lap and held Dave’s eyes mercilessly.