Yours Book 1: Losing My Innocence (19 page)

“Yes, you will,” I scream.

“No. I. Won’t,” Luke rages on.

“Just stop,” I cry out as I turn to look at Luke again. “Is it okay for you to do kinky things with my best friend? Did you talk to me first before you started whatever it is your doing with Kimmie? Do I get a say in all of that? What makes me better than Kimmie?” I demand.

“I…it’s different,” Luke mutters.

“Oh yeah, how is that?” I challenge.

Luke sighs and starts pacing running his hand through his hair again. “Kimmie knows what she is getting into. I’ve tried to stay away from her. I’ve warned her against me. I’ve done every fucking thing I can to stay away from her,” he stops his pacing to look at Kimmie who is blushing and looking at her own feet. “It’s …. We’re complicated.”

“Well, this thing I have with Nick is complicated, but I know it is what I want. Trust me Luke. Trust Nick, he has done nothing but take care of me,” I plead.

Luke presses his lips and runs his fingers through his hair as he looks at me. I can see the wheels turning. His eyes flicker and narrow on Nick.

“I swear, you have been like a brother to me, man. But Sophi is my heart, my sister, my flesh and blood. If you let your shit hurt her, I am coming after you. No questions asked.”

“If I hurt one hair on her head, I will allow it, no questions,” Nick nods at Luke.

I can see both my brother and Nick relax. “I still don’t like it, but I’ll respect your wishes as my sister,” Luke relents. “But if you need me, you call me and I will make it all better. You understand me?”

“Yes Lukie, I understand. Now can we get back to dinner or are you going to pace and growl some more like a caged lion?” I tease and sniffle.

Luke breaks into a smile and pulls me into a hug. He holds me for a few moments like he doesn’t ever want to let me go. I squeeze him back, because despite it all, I love my brother and I know he loves me and would do anything for me. I just wish he would trust my decisions more.

Luke releases me and he and Nick clasp each other in a man hug. I can see a little of the tension is still there, but they too will be fine. Luke loves Nick too. They have been through a lot together and know each other better than they allow anyone else to know them.

T
he rest
of dinner went by with less tension. I was fascinated with watching the interaction between Luke and Kimmie. It’s a vast difference from the way they used to behave around each other. However, Nick seemed to still be wound tight until he and Luke stepped from the room to have a private chat.

I tried to pry information from Kimmie while I had her alone, but she remained as tight lipped as she had been with Luke in the room. She would only give me a goofy grin and ignored my questions. I let it go once I saw I wasn’t going to get anything out of her.

When she is ready she’ll talk to me. Kimmie always talks when she is ready and then she won’t stop. When I think about how detailed Kimmie can be I am grateful she decided not to talk after all. She looks happy and honestly so does Lucian so I guess that is all that matters.

Once Kimmie and Luke left, Nick said he had somethings he needed to take care of for the trip to New York. He told me to go up to bed and he would join me when he was done. I was disappointed at first. I was hoping Nick would be the one to undress me the way he has every night since I have been sleeping over at his place.

However, once I reach the bedroom and start to strip down I am grateful for the time alone to think. I’ve been playing Luke’s words over in my head. I have so many questions. Things have moved so quickly between Nick and I.

My brother is right. What do I really know about Nick other than what I have learned through newspapers, magazine, and following his company and life on the internet. I know Nicholas Lincoln the business man, but I know nothing about Nick the man.

Sure, we talk and I have learned everyday things about him from staying here with him. Things like the way he like his coffee, black no sugar, no cream; or what makes up that amazing scent of his, his shampoo and body wash with a hint of his cologne and aftershave. But what have I really learned about the
man
?

I still haven’t found not one picture of him as a boy or pictures of his family for that matter. He never speaks of his family and now that I think of it, I have never heard Luke mention them either. The media seems to be at a loss for that type of information on the man as well. I have never read anything that talks about Nick before he took over his family’s business or why he had to do so, so early in his life.

Nick’s personal life has always been kept from the viewing public. I can feel myself growing cold inside with the realization that I really am in over my head and I have let things drift out of my control. I feel the frustration building.

I climb into bed in just my bra and panties, sliding under the sheets feeling the weight of my thoughts. Hugging one of my pillows I curl into a ball on my side staring off into nothingness. I’m plagued with thoughts of the fact that my brother, although overbearing at times, would never get as crazy as he had tonight if it weren’t warranted.

Luke has never seemed so unhinged. At least, never in my presence. A part of me feels torn between what I know in my heart and what my brain is telling me. I am entranced by my thoughts until I feel the bed dip. Nick crawls in beside me and wraps one arm around me. I can feel him staring at me, but I keep my gaze on his hard chest.

Placing his fingers beneath my chin Nick lifts my head to look into my eyes. He brushes his fingers against my cheek. “Your eyes are so beautiful when they are this color,” Nick says softly.

“What color are they,” I ask.

“They are the most beautiful mix of gold and grey I have ever seen,” he replies and kisses the tip of my nose. “But it’s not the color that I am concerned with right now. Talk to me Baby, what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours.”

Nick’s thumb brushes at the single tear that escape my eyes. I take a fortifying breath and start. “Luke said a lot and it all has me thinking,” I take a pause. “What aren’t you telling me, Nick? What did he mean about my necklace?”

Nick sighs heavily and rolls onto his back. I watch his jaw work under his skin as he works out whatever is going on in his head. His nostrils flare and he runs a hand through his hair.

“Sephora,” he draws another deep sigh before he continues. “I wish Luke would have let us find our own way to get into my mess, but I know I can’t deny you answers forever. I just wish…,” another sigh.

“Baby, you know that I have a particular preference in the bedroom. There are reasons for that preference,” I go to cut him off to ask what those reasons are, but he gives me a warning look. I bite my tongue and continue to listen to him.

“In time we’ll get to those reasons. The point right now is I was in a dark place for a long time and I had subs that were willing to let me push the barriers extremely far. Luke…. Well, you know we are very close so he knows just how far I have taken things a time or two. Usually out of my darkness.”

He pauses and for the first time since he has started talking, his face softens and he really looks me in the eyes. “I would never hurt you and I have come a long way from that darkness since being with you. Taking you in the way that I did earlier was strictly for your pleasure. I had no need to exercise my demons. My mind was only filled with pleasing you.”

“But what about the necklace? What did Luke mean about the necklace?” I insist.

“I told you that Luke and I have talked before, about me pursuing you. I made it clear to him that I would not have you as just my girlfriend. However, I don’t want you as just my submissive either. Luke has expressed more than once that he would not be happy with me taking your innocence in anyway, but especially not if I were to have you in my lifestyle.

“I made it clear that I would not back off unless you wanted me to and I also made it clear that I wanted to take our relationship all the way as your Dom and you as my sub,” Nick breaks eye contact with me to look at my necklace.

He turns to reach into the night stand and retrieves a gift box. He places it on the bed between us. I sit up to sit with my legs crossed and stare down at the box between us like it is a snake.

“I wanted to wait, but I guess this is as good a time as any,” he sighs moving to mirror the way I am sitting.

“I gave you the locket around your neck for graduation. Luke was there when I had it designed. At the time he didn’t know it was for you. He had believed that I was interested in someone else. It was some months later that I revealed to him that my interest was in you.

“I guess tonight he put the pieces together. I had promised your brother that I would take things very slowly with you, but having my locket around your neck means more to me than you know.”

“I don’t understand, it is just a locket,” I say fingering the butterfly at my throat.

“Yes, it is. To anyone else’s eyes it is just a locket,” Nick nudges the box on the bed closer to me. “Open it.”

I reach for the box and sit it in my lap. Hesitantly, I pull the lid off and gasp once I see what is inside. My eyes flash back to Nick’s handsome face. He is smiling back at me, but it is a strained smile as if he is not sure of himself in this moment, which is so unusual for me to see on his face.

I look back into the box and with trembling fingers I remove its contents from the soft velvet cushion. The choker is delicate despite how heavy it looks. In the center, is a hollow shape. As if the face of the pendent attaching the two ends of the necklace had not been finished. I lift the necklace to my face to examine it more closely. There is a latch in the center of the unfinished face.

Nick leans over and unclasps the necklace holding my butterfly pendant. I bite my lip not so sure about this new necklace or why Nick would want to replace my beautiful butterfly with this unfinished necklace. Don’t get me wrong, the choker’s design is stunning with its ropes of gold and what I am sure are diamonds.

“The pendant is the key to the choker,” Nick murmurs as he takes the choker from my hands. He places the butterfly in the unfinished center. I watch him latch the butterfly to the choker and with a twist it falls open in Nick’s hand. “Turnaround,” he says in a husky whisper.

I shift to my knees and turn as he asks. Nick brushes my hair over one shoulder and I lift it out of the way. Nick first places a kiss at the nape of my neck and then he places the choker around my throat and latches it into place.

This time when he twists the butterfly it locks the necklace into place. I squeal as Nick lifts me from the bed and carries me into the bathroom. He plants me on my feet in front of the mirror and stares into my eyes through our reflection.

He lifts his fingertips to the butterfly that is resting at the base of my throat. I watch as heat fills his eyes and the corners of his lips turn up. My breath hitches at the look of longing, lust, and heated desire. It is almost too much.

“You are mine, Sephora. This collar will show that to the world. But someday, it is my hope that by your choice you will accept me as yours, to have, and to keep forever. I hope to be worthy of your love for as long as I breathe.

“When you decide you are ready for that commitment, this,” he tapped the butterfly with his fingertip. “Will lock into place with the push of your finger and I will be the only one that can unlock it.”

I lift my finger to push the butterfly into a locked position, but Nick quickly grasps my wrist. “No,” he breathes with a tight expression on his face as if he is in pain. Then more softly. “No, not now. When you lock this collar there will be no me letting you go. I need you to know all of me before you make that decision. You are not ready for that, Baby. If not for Luke, I would not have collared you so soon.”

“But why would this make him so upset? Doesn’t this make me yours? Doesn’t that mean you will take care of me?” At Kimmie’s insists I had done a little reading online. The necklace now makes perfect sense. I push aside Nick not wanting me to lock the collar for now to focus on Luke’s anger over the necklace.

Nick sighs and wraps his arms around my waist. “Luke loves you, all he sees is me moving his baby sister too fast. I guess seeing the key around your neck makes this all too real for him,” Nick replies before starting a trail of kisses down my neck. “Enough about your brother. You have no idea how much it is turning me on to see you with my collar on your neck.”

“Well, you can show me can’t you, Sir?” I purr.

Nick growls in my ear and swiftly turns me to toss me over his shoulder before stalking back in the room.

“
N
ick
,” I squeal and gasp from the pleasure and pain of the hot liquid that is warming my belly and breasts. I am so turned on, blindfolded, wrists restrained by my own panties and my legs spread open across the large king sized bed in our New York hotel suite. The suite in the hotel owned by my sexy boyfriend.

We have been here since yesterday and I have been giving Nick the silent treatment because a certain red head was on the private flight here to New York. Had I known that she would be coming along on this trip then I would not have come along.

I do my best to avoid Jillian in the office, but I was trapped on a plane with her sour face in view for the entry flight. Well, at least until Nick took me to the private sleeping cabin to make me forget all about her. I was floating when the flight landed, but of course Jillian made sure that didn’t last long.

“Nick our dinner reservations are for nine,” Jillian said smugly.

Nick groaned and rubbed his eyes. “I’ll see you at the hotel, don’t wait up,” Nick gave me a chaste kiss on the lips before helping me into the waiting car and closing the door behind me without another word.

I was taken back and fuming as I watched Nick climb into a separate car with Jillian. I know Nick has promised me nothing is going on with him and Jillian, but I see the way she looks at him and it drives me crazy. Besides, why couldn’t I go to dinner with them. He asked me on this stupid trip.

I was so pissed off when he entered our room at one a.m. in the morning. He was giving me a smoldering look as he strapped down and climbed up the foot of the bed. I just huffed and turned my back to him, burying myself under the sheets.

“Sephora,” he groaned against my neck. I could smell the whiskey on his breath as it warmed the back of my neck. I never answered and I don’t think it would have mattered if I did. He started to snore lightly as his head hit the pillow.

I’ve been ignoring him since and he has not been none too happy about it. So now I am being punished for not talking to him or tell him why I am so pissed off at him.

I gasp again as Nick shifts in between my legs and the hot liquid is gone, but his tongue is now his weapon of choice. First teasing my inner thigh as I try to squirm away from his warm mouth. Nick groans as he bites down on the flesh of my thigh and starts to suck.

I am doing my best not to react to his drugging touch, but I lost that battle almost as soon as it started. Nick chuckles to himself before he runs his tongue to the one place that will get me to talk sooner than not. I arch my back off the bed and breathe through my nose trying to keep control of my body.

I am closer than close and Nick knows it. Right on cue, reading my body like the master he is, Nick pulls away leaving me whimpering for him. His deep growl fills the air and reaches my ears. “Now Baby, are you ready to talk to me,” I can hear the frustration and edge to his words. “Why are you not talking to me, Sephora?”

I am a panting mess, but he should know why I am not talking to him. I may be behaving like a brat, but I don’t like this feeling of being jealous. I don’t like how easily Jillian gets to push my buttons.

Just this morning she called Nick’s phone. He was up and out of the bed before I could question him about last night. I’ve had it with her and whatever is or isn’t going on between them.

I hear Nick growl again and this time I feel it up against my pussy lips. It vibrates through me and I moan out loud. Nick starts to push his tongue inside me and I bite down on my lip to keep from crying out.

This time I feel myself going higher than before and I pray that he won’t stop, but I already know it is useless. He is not going to let me cum until I answer him. Just as I knew he would, he pulls away just as I have ecstasy within my grasp.

“Are you ready to talk to me now, little one,” Nick murmurs against my thigh while placing little kisses against my skin.

“Nick, please,” I cry out.

“Please what, Sweetheart?”

“Please, I need you,” I plead.

“I need you too, Baby. But first you need to tell me what’s the matter. I can’t make you happy if I don’t know what I’ve done wrong. You have to talk to me,” he says sternly.

I pout and whimper, but I know I am going to give in. I can’t take much more of this torture. Nick pinches one of my nipples for good measure and I swear that touch alone is almost enough.

“I’m sorry,” I try hoping that will get me what I so desperately need.

“Sorry for what,” Nicks asks with amusement in his voice as he climbs up my body.

My mind is so scrambled I don’t know what I am sorry for or what to say to get him to give me what I need. I cry out as I feel his rock hard cock thrust into me, but he doesn’t move once he is fully sitting inside me. His lips are at my throat leaving a trail of fire with his hot kisses.

“Tell me, Sephora. What is it that has you so displeased with me. I know it is not my cock. I’ve been keeping you more than pleased with it. Haven’t I?”

Oh he is so arrogant, but right now it is sort of a turn on. As if to prove his point he starts to rotate his hips and grinds into me nice and slow, stirring a slow burn in my belly. I tug at my wrists wanting to touch him, pull him into me, anything.

“This could be so much better, Sweetheart. Just tell me what I want to know. I promise to make you cum harder than you have every cum before,” he breathes into my ear.

I groan as he gives one long amazing stoke that has my mind splintering. “Why did you leave me to go to dinner with Jillian when we first got here,” I pant out.

Nick really growls this time. So loud that without being able to see his face I am a little afraid at first. He doesn’t reply, but begins pounding into me.

He reaches for my legs and thrusts them over his shoulders. I am trapped beneath his assault and I can feel the sweat from our bodies mix. The smell of Nick’s cologne mixed with sex has my head spinning with its heady mix.

Nick suddenly pulls the blindfold from my eyes and I am face to face with his green eyes. He is staring into my eyes so deeply I swear he can see into my very soul. I am taken back by the hurt and pain reflected in his eyes.

Nick crashes his lips to mine plunging his tongue into my mouth to the rhythm of his thrusting hips. I am soaring now and I know he is about to keep his promise. I am about to cum harder than I have ever come before.

My heart is stuttering in my chest and my whole body is shuttering. I am vaguely aware of Nick’s words as he continues to pump his way to his own release. “I. Only. Want. You. She is my fucking temporary assistant. It was a business meeting with three others. I only want you, Baby. Only you, Sephora.”

My name comes out more like a roar as he released himself inside of me. Nick releases my legs and props himself up on his elbow, reaching to release my wrist. He never takes his eyes off my face. When my hands are free I place them against his heaving chest. He reaches to push the damp hair from my face.

“You have to trust me, Sephora,” Nick sighs.

“I know,” I say in a whisper. “I will.”

I don’t know how but he is ready to go again and just like that, Jillian is forgotten and we are making love. I push all thoughts aside other than the fact that I have fallen completely in love with Nicholas Lincoln and there is no turning back for me.