Authors: ML Ross
“Ryan?”
“Yeah?”
“After
this is all over, what happens to us?”
“Hopefully
I won’t be in prison.”
“You
won’t be. I mean, I have to go back home. Will you go back to school?”
“I
don’t know. I honestly haven’t thought about it. It’s too much to
think about right now.”
“Oh”
“Ness?”
He says peaking over my shoulder at my face. “I didn’t mean I haven’t
thought about you. I meant school. We’ll figure things out,
right? I mean. I want to be with you. Do you want to be with
me?”
“Yes.
More than anything.”
“Come
here.” He urges me to flip towards him and he pulls me close. I
bury my face into his neck and hook my leg over his. I run my fingers through
his hair, pulling on the ends as he runs his fingers through my now much
shorter, brunette locks. He tugs on my hair so I lift my face and he
places sweet kisses on my lips and whispers “I love you” into my mouth. I
want to ask him about Kim but I don’t want to ruin this moment. We
continue to tenderly touch each other until we start to dose off hours later.
I
must eventually slip into a deep slumber because I hear a faint pounding but
I’m dreaming it’s the sound of drums. I’m in a dance club.
Dancing. It takes my brain a long time to realize that the pounding is at
the door, not in my dream. I jump from the bed in a panic.
“Ryan!! Someone’s at the door!” I shake his shoulder.
He
jumps up and can’t balance himself when his feet hit the floor so he falls hard
on his ass. He quickly finds his wits and pulls himself up. We both creep
to the door. I peek out the window and see a young guy.
“It’s
Landon.”
He
swings the door open and Landon crashes inside the cabin and does a double take
when he sees me. I’m only wearing one of Ryan’s t-shirts. Ryan is
only wearing his boxers.
“Man,
the police are on their way Ryan! My grandfather had another stroke and
passed away two days ago. My Mom realized the keys to the cabin were
missing. She asked me about them and I made up some bullshit story but
she didn’t believe me. She went to the police. They know you’re
here. They ran my grandfather’s plates and it matched the plates of a car
they have seen driving around here. They were also alerted by a bank that
you accessed a safe deposit box. I drove as fast as I could. They are
probably only ten minutes behind me, if that.”
“Let’s
go Ryan. Let’s go. We’re so close. We just need to talk to
Kim!” I start to cry and cover my face with both hands.
Ryan
comes over to me and pulls my wrists away from my face. “Listen to me
Ness!! We can’t run. We can’t hide anymore. Listen
carefully! You have to go to Kim as soon as possible. She has to go
to the police. It’s my only way out.” He gathers all the
information on the table and pushes it back into the envelope. “Take this
with you.” He runs into the bedroom and grabs a small bag. “The
knife is in here. Keep this with you. Get Kim and take it all to
the police station. Be careful. He’s still out there.
Ness! Look at me!” I can’t stop crying. I look up at
him. “I love you Ness. It’s gonna be okay. I’ll be okay.”
I
just nod my head and then I hear a loud bang causing me to jump and scream.
“Police!
Open up!”
Ryan
turns to me and mouths “I love you” before he opens the door. The police
walk in cautiously, guns pointing. We all hold our hands up in the air.
“Ma’am?
Are you okay? Are you hurt?” The officer stares at my face and I realize
I still have a bruise on my cheek from my attack
“No.”
I whimper.
I
follow the officer’s gaze as it settles on the handcuffs dangling from the bed
through the open bedroom door. “Ma’am? Do you need to go to the hospital?”
I feel bile rise to my throat. He thinks Ryan hurt me. Oh God.
“No!”
I cry.
The
other officer, still pointing his gun at Ryan, steps up to him. “Are you
Ryan Jenson?”
“Yes,
sir.”
“Hands
on your head! You are under arrest for the abduction of Vanessa
Cartwright, breaking and entering, and grand theft. You are also wanted
for questioning in the murder cases of Sophie Carsen and Mia Knoll and also the
attempted murder of Kim Sawyer. You have the right to remain
silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of
law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an
attorney, one will appointed for you. If you decide to answer questions,
you have the right to stop at any time. Do you understand son?”
“Yes,
sir.”
“You
need to come with me ma’am.” The other officer holds out his hand.
“Ryan?!”
I turn to him as he stands there in his underwear with his hands on his
head. It breaks my heart.
“Its
okay, Ness. Go.”
“Can
I get clothes?”
The
officers look at each other and one nods to the other. “Yes ma’am, I’ll
come with you. I walk into the bedroom on shaky legs. I grab my
yoga pants from the floor and slide them on and grab Ryan’s jeans but the
officer takes them from me, checking the pockets. I find his t-shirt and
hand it to the officer as well. We walk out and he hands Ryan the
clothes. They allow him to dress and then I wander slowly over to the
officer not taking my eyes off Ryan.
Landon
stands there in complete shock. As the officers escort Ryan and me into
separate cars, Landon is told he needs to come to the station to make a
statement as well. Within 10 minutes, we pull up in front of the Gunnison
police station. I immediately spot my Mom and Dad standing outside.
The police car in front of us comes to a stop first. I watch the officer
open the back door and pull a handcuffed Ryan out of the backseat. I hear
screaming as our car is still rolling to a stop. I turn my head towards
the disturbance. My Dad is being held back by a police officer as he is
shouting at Ryan and breaking down in sobs as he watches the officer escort him
into the building.
“You
sick son-of-a-bitch! I will make sure you rot in prison and never see the
light of day! You hurt my baby, you piece of shit!!” My Dad yells.
“Let
me out!!! Let me the fuck out!!” I scream at the officer. I
hear the doors unlock and I jump out of the car. I run towards Ryan but
the police officer restraining him holds out his hand to stop me from coming
any closer. I come to a slow stop and I glance up at Ryan. He can’t
even look at me. My Mom and Dad think he’s a rapist and murderer and that
he hurt me. I see fear in his eyes.
“Ryan?”
I beg him to look at me.
He
looks at me as the officer starts to pull him away.
“I’m
going to get you out. I’m not leaving you. I promise. I love
you Ryan!” I yell as he’s being pulled away from me. I break down
and cry and then feel my Dad pull me into his chest with his arms wrapped
around me.
“Vanessa,
what’s going on baby girl?”
“He
didn’t do it.” I murmur into his chest. “It wasn’t him. I
have to help him. Please help him Daddy.”
“What
do you mean he didn’t do it?”
“Excuse
me ma’am? I need you to come with me so I can get your statement. Then
your parents can take you home.”
I
nod my head. “Can my parents come with me?”
“Of
course.”
The
officer leads us into a small conference room. “Did you need some water
or anything?”
“Water,
thanks.” He leaves the room as a young female officer passes him and
comes in.
“Hi
Vanessa, my name is Tanya.” She reaches out to shake my hand. “Can
I ask you a few questions?”
“Sure.”
“They
are personal. Do you want your parents to step out?”
“No.”
“Okay.
I’ve been told that you were held without your consent in a small cabin in
Gunnison by Ryan Jenson?”
“I
stayed willingly.”
“What?”
Asks my Dad in disbelief.
“Please
sir, let her answer the questions.”
“Vanessa,
we found handcuffs locked to the bed.” I hear my dad gasp. “Did
Ryan Jenson touch you inappropriately?” I look at her with a straight
face. My mind thinking yes, yes he did and I absolutely fucking loved
it. “No.” I say.
She
looks skeptical. “Vanessa, he can’t hurt you now. You can be
completely honest. Did he do that to your face?”
“He
didn’t touch me okay!! He saved my life. He took care of me after
the car accident and he saved me from the real rapist that is still out
there! This is a waste of time. I need to get out of here!”
“Calm
down Vanessa. We’re only doing our job. We’re here to help you.”
“Ryan
needs help!”
“Vanessa,
I really advise you to have a rape kit done. You might be in shock now
and maybe even in denial but I encourage you to get examined now. You can
decide at any time whether you want to press charges or not.”
“He
didn’t rape me!” I cry. I want to go to him so bad. I need him and
I know he needs me.
“Can
you think about it please? I’ll let you make your statement and I’ll be
back before your parents take you home, okay?”
I
don’t respond. My Mom is sobbing into her hands and my Dad has his arms
wrapped around her. “Mom, Dad. He didn’t hurt me. I
swear. He’s innocent.”
Just
then, the officer comes back into the room with my water. He sets a
recorder on the table and tells me that my statement will be recorded.
“Please
state your full name.”
“Vanessa
Lynn Cartwright.”
“Please
tell us, in detail, what happened to you on December 23
rd
when you
were driving on Route 50 nearing Gunnison, Colorado and all events leading up
to today.”
I
tell the entire story. Well, except for some of the personal details. I
start with the car accident, then about waking up in the cabin, Ryan treating
my injuries, Ryan telling me he didn’t murder Sophie Carsen or Mia Knoll or attack
Kim Sawyer, me volunteering to talk to Kim, the party, my attack, the safe
deposit box, Ryan’s brother, and finally the arrest. My parents listen to
every detail. I reach into the bag and pull out the knife. We
wrapped it in plastic.
“He
dropped this during my attack. It has his fingerprints. His name is
Jacob Matheson. He drives a blue Ford Escape.” I say passing the
plastic bag to the officer. I can’t tell if he believes me or not.
“Do
you want to press charges against Ryan Jenson, ma’am?”
“No!!
Did you hear what I just said?”
“Yes,
ma’am, we will look into your claims. We have your statement.
You’re free to leave. If we have any more questions, we will be in
contact.”
The
officer escorts us from the building, handing me his business card.
Thankfully, the female officer doesn’t make it back in time because she was
pissing me off. As soon as we are out of the building, I turn to my
parents.
“I
need the car and a phone. I can’t go home yet. I need to help
Ryan. He’s innocent.”
My
Mom and Dad look at each other. “Vanessa, I don’t know what really happened
here but I’m really worried about you and I think its best you come home. You
need to let the police take care of it.”
“Mom!”
I cry. “I can’t. He’s all alone. He has no one. I
promised to help him. I just need to talk to Kim. Who knows if the police
will even talk to her? I have the information about his brother and I
need to show her so she’ll go to the police. Mom, I love him.”
“Vanessa?”
“I
do Mom. I feel it. I need to stay. Please. No
regrets.” She turns to my Dad.
“What
if we stay for a couple days and help her get this straightened out?”
“Vanessa,
are you sure about this?”
“Positive.
I need to go to Kim Sawyer. She needs to know it wasn’t Ryan. She
can clear him. Then we can go home.”
“I
can take her.” We all turn to see Landon approaching. “I can take
her. I can help.”
Landon
and my parents spent some time talking in the police station in between all the
questioning. Landon was terrified he was going to be arrested for
harboring a wanted criminal or something since he gave Ryan the keys to the
cabin. Apparently, Ryan told police he stole them so Landon wasn’t
charged with anything.
I
look at my Mom begging her to let me do this.
My
Mom digs into her purse and pulls out my phone. My phone! I could kiss
it. She hands me my phone along with some cash. “After you see this girl,
promise me you’ll call and let us know your safe. Go on Vanessa, fight
for him honey. No regrets!”
We
practically run to Landon’s car. I turn on my phone and wait for it
forever to boot up. I pull up Google and search for Perky’s in
Gunnison. I press the little telephone icon next to the listing and I
hear it ring.
“Perky’s.”
“Hello,
is Kim working today?”
“This
is she.”
I
let out a whoosh of air. “Kim? It’s Va….Lindsey.”
“Lindsey!
Where did you go on New Year’s Eve?”
“Something
happened. Listen, can we talk?”
“What
happened? Are you okay?”
“I’m
fine. I really need to talk to you. In person. Can we meet
somewhere private?”
“Um,
sure. What’s this about?”
“I’d
rather not say over the phone, what time do you get off of work?”
“In
about an hour but I can probably leave early. It’s slow.”
“Perfect.
Do you know of a place we can talk in private?”
“We
can go to my dorm. My roommate went back home for a few days.”
“Can
I meet you at Perky’s and follow you?”
“Okay.”
“I’ll
be there in about 15 minutes.”
“Okay.”
She
sounds very concerned. I know this is going to be shocking for her to
hear. I look through the bag that Ryan gave me to make sure the envelope
is still there. I’m hoping the police are tracking Jacob as we speak.
“Landon,
do you know Kim well?”
“Yeah,
the three of us have always been pretty tight. She hasn’t talked to me
for a long time. I can tell you that she won’t be very pleased to see
me.” He says sadly.
“She’ll
understand when we explain.”
We
drive onto the campus and pull into Perky’s. I see Kim standing outside
leaning up against the building in her uniform on her phone. When I pull
into the spot in front of her, she walks to my car and then notices Landon.
“Landon?
What are you doing here?” She says in an angry tone.
“We’ll
explain. There’s a lot to explain.” I tell her.
“It’s
okay, Kim. I promise. You need to hear what we have to say.”
She
nods her head, looking very unsure. “I’m the little blue car. You
can follow me.” She points to her car.
“Okay.”
She
gets in her car and pulls out of the parking lot. We follow close behind
her. She pulls into student parking and we park next to her. Most
kids are still gone for break.
“I’m
this way.” We follow her to the second floor and she opens up the door at the
end of the hallway. “This is me.” She says as she opens the
door. She steps inside and puts her purse down.
“What
the hell is going on? You are a reporter aren’t you?”
“No,
Kim. I’m not. My name is Vanessa Cartwright.”
“Vanessa
Cartwright? You’re that girl that went missing. You look different
than the picture on TV. Why are you here? I don’t understand.”
“Kim,
I was with Ryan.”
She
backs up with a look of horror on her face and looks between me and Landon.
“What’s going on?”
“I
was in a car accident. Ryan pulled me from the wreck and took me to a
cabin and kept me there afraid I’d turn him into the police. I had read
about Ryan in the news and I was terrified but he didn’t do it. He wasn’t
the one that attacked you, Kim.”
“What
the hell are you talking about? Is this a sick joke?”
“It’s
not a joke. Listen. That night of the New Year’s Party, I was
trying to talk to you. I was trying to help Ryan. I was attacked
that night. At first, I thought it was Ryan and I was confused and
terrified just like you probably were. I didn’t know what was
happening. The guy looked just like him. Ryan actually saved me
from being raped and possibly worse that night. He chased the guy
off. He got a good look at him. He just found out he has a
brother. He had no idea. His adoption was closed. Kim, it was his
brother. It wasn’t Ryan.”
Kim
slowly lowers herself to sit on the edge of her bed. I sit next to her
and continue.
“His
Mom left all the information in a safe deposit box when he was sixteen, right
before they were killed in that car accident. His birth mother was also killed
in a car accident just weeks before his adoptive parents. There might be
a connection.” I pull out the envelope. “There are articles about
his brother and his family. There is a picture of Jacob. We just
found all this out yesterday.” I flip through the pile and pull it out
and hand it to her.
She
puts her hand over her mouth like she might get sick. “Oh my God!”
“Kim,
it wasn’t Ryan.”
“I
recognize this scar. This scar over his eye.” She says pointing at
the picture of Jacob. “I remember thinking that night that I never saw
that scar on Ryan before. I just couldn’t explain it and blew it off.”
“Jacob
was the one that attacked me the night of the party and believe me, I felt the
same way. In my heart, I knew it wasn’t Ryan but there was no other explanation.
Jacob drugged me too so I wasn’t thinking clearly.”
“Where
is Ryan?”
“He
was arrested this morning. I gave the police my statement. They
think I’m in denial or something. I don’t think they took me
seriously. I did give them the knife with Jacob’s fingerprints but that
doesn’t clear Ryan. He needs you, Kim. You have to tell the police
they have the wrong guy. Did you do a rape kit?”
“Yes.
Oh my God. Ryan and I had sex before that party though. He didn’t use any
protection.”
“What
about Jacob?”
“I’m
not sure. I was in and out of consciousness but they took samples under
my nails and hair and stuff…..” She trails off.
“Kim,
I know this is hard but we have to go to the police. You have to retell
your story. We need to clear Ryan.”
“Yeah.
Okay. I just need a minute.” She sifts through the papers slowly.
Tears start to roll down her cheeks. “I can’t believe I thought it was
Ryan. To believe he did that to me was so painful. We were best
friends. We told each other everything.” She stops and shakes her
head. “I betrayed him. I told the police he had sex with Sophie and Mia
on the nights they were killed. He will never forgive me.” She
breaks down in uncontrollable sobs and I wrap my arms around her. I know
exactly how she feels. Landon sits down next to Kim rubbing her back up
and down gently as she cries into my arms. When she finally gathers
herself enough to talk again, she smiles and says “I remember the day Ryan and
I met. We were at a party. We were only 16. I had already developed
quite the reputation. All the guys new I was easy. They practically
lined up at the parties waiting their turn to get in my pants. I wasn’t
ashamed at the time. I loved the attention. One night I was so
drunk, two guys from school were trying to convince me that two was better
one. I was so wasted, I was like sure!” She stops talking and I
notice Landon stops touching her. “Out of nowhere, Ryan throws his arm
around my shoulder and tells the guys I’m taken. I just figured he was
taking cuts. He wanted his turn. I left the party with him and we
went back to his place. Ryan never made a move. We ate pizza and
watched a stupid horror movie that night. He slept on the couch while I
passed out in his bed. I remember thinking that Ryan was one of those few
good guys. I wanted to keep him forever. We became best
friends.” She pauses and I can see she’s unsure about what she’s about to
say next. “I fell in love with him. Then things got
complicated.” She whispers.
I’m
trying to hold back my tears. She loves him and I have no idea if he
knows this or how he feels about her. I’m going to lose him.
“God,
I hope he can forgive me for what I’ve done. I can’t lose him
again. I feel like my heart was ripped in half. That night I was so
mad at him. We had sex for the first time and afterwards, just as I was
about to tell him that I loved him, he told me he was sorry it happened and
that it wouldn’t change our relationship. That we should pretend it
didn’t happen. I was heartbroken. We went to that party and I drank
a lot. I was so hurt. I remember him finding me in the
garage. I was getting high with some friends. He handed me a cup of
beer and asked me if I wanted to take a walk. I thought he changed his mind.
I thought he was going to tell me that he loved me too. After walking for
a bit, I started to feel funny. I vaguely remember him putting me in a
car and driving. The next thing I remember is waking up naked and tied to
some rafters in a barn. I was so out of it. I remember him asking
me if I wanted to play and then he showed me the knife. I thought I took
some hallucinogen or something. I don’t know how long I hung there, him
torturing me with that knife. I felt like I was reliving some horror
movie. After a while, I think the drug was starting to wear off.
That’s when I noticed the scar and started to think things weren’t right.
When…..when he was….raping me, I kept thinking that he had completely lost
it. He had been struggling with the death of his parents. He was
drinking a lot and having a lot of sex and I just thought, he finally lost
it. Only, he had been doing better lately. That’s what I couldn’t
figure out. He was doing better. I couldn’t figure out why he
snapped. I figured it had something to do with what happened between
us. I blacked out at some point and when I woke up, I was in the
woods. When I was brought to the hospital and the police came, I was
hysterical. I told them Ryan raped and tried to kill me and then I told
them he killed those other girls. I was convinced. It wasn’t until
recently that I started to add things up and I had doubt. I just couldn’t
figure out what I was missing. He probably hates me.”
“He
doesn’t blame you Kim. He doesn’t.” I assure her.
She
looks at me and I can see when the thought enters her mind.
“Vanessa? What happened between you and Ryan?” She asks fiddling
with her hands.
I
glance at Landon because he saw Ryan and me practically naked together when he
rushed into the cabin. I can’t tell her.
“We’re
just friends. He helped me after the accident so I wanted to help
him. I knew he was innocent and had no one.”
“I
need to see him.” She looks up at me with so much pain in her eyes.
“Let’s
go.”
Kim
drives her own car. We get into Landon’s car and head back to the police
station. Landon has barely said a word.
“Landon?
Did something happen between you and Kim?”
“Hhmph.
Yeah. I was the other guy trying to talk her into a threesome. I
was a kid. I was drunk or high. Whatever. The guy I was with
was a douche. He wanted in Kim’s pants. I actually had a crush on
Kim. I didn’t want that guy to be with her so I came up with the
plan. I thought that if at least I was there with the two of them, I
could somehow protect her. Stupid.” He confesses shaking his head.
“You
never told her how you felt?”
“No.
She started this weird relationship with Ryan. About a year ago, I
thought about telling her. I still care for her. A lot. Of
course, when we were alone and I started to spill my heart out to her, she
confessed to me that she was in love with Ryan.”
“She’s
been in love with him for a year?” I thought it was more recent.
Shit.
“Yeah.
Maybe longer. She didn’t want to lose him so she never told him. I
don’t want to get involved in that. It’s fucking complicated shit.
There are deep feelings there. I don’t know what happened between you and
Ryan but just be careful. She’s been through a lot and she needs him.”
“Yeah.”
It’s all I can get out of my tight throat. I am trying to hold it
together. I check in with my Mom and let her know where we’re
going. They are staying at a Holiday Inn in Gunnison. She told me
not to worry about them. Mason is staying with a friend until they get
back. We will head back home in the morning. We pull into the police
station and Landon turns turn off the car.
“Are
you okay?” He says to me.
“Yeah.
I’m okay.”
I
see Kim’s car as we walk in. She’s waiting for us in the lobby. We
go through three officers before we are finally led back into a conference room
and taken seriously. I explain my story from the beginning and then Kim
adds in her side. We repeat our story three times. There are now
five officers in the room listening. We point at the different papers as
we explain. I mention the knife again.
“We
do have officers out searching for Jacob Matheson. We haven’t found him
yet. Kim, if you would talk to Officer Hunter, she would like to talk to
you in more detail.”
Landon’s
foster parents show up and take Landon aside. They disappear for about an
hour and return. Landon has a wicked smile on his face.
“What
happened?” I ask.
“Apparently,
my Grandfather has left me the cabin and all of the contents, including the car
in his will. They belong to me. I dropped all charges regarding
breaking and entering and theft.”