Authors: ML Ross
Wanted
Wanted
By ML Ross
Wanted
Copyright
© 2014 by ML Ross
All rights reserved, including the
right to reproduce or distribute this book, or portions thereof, in any form
without written permission.
Published
by ML Ross
This is a work of fiction.
Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s
imagination or are used fictitiously. Any similarity to actual persons,
living or dead, business establishments, or events, is coincidental.
“Did
you go yet?” James grunts as he pumps into me one more time. Then I
immediately feel him soften.
“It’s
okay.” I sigh.
“Cool.”
He says as he leaps off of me and walks into the bathroom. I pull the
sheet over my naked body and lay there for a moment staring at my boring white
ceiling wondering if this is it. Maybe there’s something wrong with
me. I don’t think I’ve ever had an orgasm that wasn’t brought on by my
electronic boyfriend, the purple one with all those attachments that reach into
those forbidden places and vibrates at just the right speed. Maybe that’s
my problem. No dick can do what B.O.B. does for me. I’m ruined.
James
hops back up on the bed fully dressed making my lifeless body bounce. He
lies next to me with his arms behind his head. I take a moment to study
James while he’s staring at my ceiling. James is hot. He’s got a
rocking body. He takes his work outs seriously. His dark hair is
short and clean cut. He has pretty blue eyes. Still, I look at him
and I don’t feel that undeniable attraction I read about in my romance novels.
“So what are your plans today? Want to do a movie and dinner
later?” He asks turning towards me.
“My
Mom’s appointment is today. Remember? It’s the big one.”
“Oh
yeah, right. I guess I’ll see you tomorrow for your big birthday
celebration then, huh?” He says pulling out his iPhone.
“Yeah,
what time do you want me to come over?”
“How
about 6pm, I’m going to have dinner for you.”
“Sounds
great.” I try to say with enthusiasm as he’s still enthralled with his phone.
“Okay,
I’m off.” He pecks me on the cheek and is out the door.
I
roll over and close my eyes. He knows today is a big deal for me and my
family. My Mom finds out today if the cancer is gone. I don’t know
why I keep denying the fact that, yes, James is a very selfish person.
We
leave in an hour for her appointment. I take a quick shower and as I’m
standing in front of the mirror, I take a good look at myself. My hair is
very long and naturally blonde. A little more of a dirty blonde. If
I let it air dry, it’s slightly wavy. I haven’t changed my hairstyle in over
two years. I have big green eyes. To me, they remind me of those Japanese
cartoon characters. I have thick, long eye-lashes so I don’t have to wear
a lot of make-up. I have a dancer’s body although I haven’t really danced
in years. I’m turning twenty-one tomorrow. I feel like I’m
30. I pull at the skin on my face and slap my cheeks trying to liven them
up. I sigh. It does no good. I look tired. I throw my hair up
in a messy twist and throw on my sweats. If my Mom gets a clean bill of
health today, I am going to make some changes in my life.
“Vanessa?”
My Mom peeks her head in at me. “Are you ready, honey?”
“I’m
ready. You?”
“Ready
as I’ll ever be. Let’s go.”
My
Mom is beautiful. I’ve always wanted to look just like her.
Unfortunately I look nothing like her. Well, I have her curviness.
My Mom used to be very curvy but now she’s a little too thin. She had
gorgeous thick straight brunette hair, but now she has a green beanie with an
embroidered yellow butterfly covering her hairless head. She is still as
beautiful as ever to me.
My
Mom asked me to take her to her appointment today. Over the last two years,
we’ve become very close. I would do anything for my Mom and I know she
would do anything for me. My Dad is trapped at his office today and my
brother doesn’t know about her appointment yet. We’re quiet on the way to the
doctor’s office, listening to soft music in the car. I’m praying quietly
to myself that the cancer will be gone and that our family can finally live a
normal life, that my Mom will be able to be my Mom again.
As
we wait in the waiting room, my legs bounce nervously and my heart is beating
as if I overdosed on caffeine. There is one other woman in the waiting
room all by herself. She has a full head of healthy hair. I wonder
briefly why she is here today. We’re finally called back to the little
sterile white room. Dr. Fenton sits on her stool, examining the chart in
her plastic covered hands. We’ve come to know her quite well. She is
married with two children and treats us as if we’re part of her family.
Her compassion has been invaluable during the last two years. She whirls
around to face us with a friendly smile.
“Lynn!
I have your blood tests back and I have good news. The cancer is gone!
It’s gone!”
I
squeal and cover my face with my hands. My shoulders shake with
sobs. I was trying not to lose it in front of my Mom but I guess I had
suppressed my emotions for too long trying to be strong for her that I just
couldn’t hold it in anymore. I feel my Mom’s arms encircle around me and
we cry together.
“I
will just need to see you back every year to check on things but other than
that, just keep up on your regular appointments. Congratulations!”
As
we walk out of the clinic, I feel as light as a feather. That heaviness
on my shoulders that weighed me down for so long is gone. Instead of darkness,
I see light. I feel ecstatic!
“Mom,
this is the best birthday present ever! I am so relieved and happy.”
“Thank
you Vanessa, for everything you’ve done.” She holds my face in her
hands. “I couldn’t have asked for a better daughter. I love
you.” She says as she kisses my forehead.
“I
love you so much Mom.”
***
I
wake up the next morning with so much enthusiasm. I haven’t felt this
happy in a while. My Mom is healthy! I smile to myself. I’m
twenty-one today. Something inside of me is just screaming for
change. I’m feeling excited about the future. I need to take back
control over my life. I have not thought about the direction of my life
at all. I dropped out of my first year of community college half-way through
when Mom got sick. I haven’t thought about where or if I want to go back or
what I want to do after. I haven’t even thought about Christmas, even
though it’s around the corner. I didn’t make plans for the future because
we never knew what the future was going to hold for us. We just lived day
by day.
After
showering, I actually take a little time with my hair. I pull my long
locks down with a huge round brush blow drying the strands. I use my
flattening iron and straighten it and then finish with some smoothing
gel. I put on a little mascara and lip gloss and smack my lips together
in the mirror. I put on my favorite bedazzled Rockstar jeans and my favorite
pink tunic sweater that hangs slightly over my shoulders and I practically skip
to the kitchen like a 6 year old. I find my Mom singing softly to the radio as
she bounces on her feet, flipping bacon over the stovetop. The smell of bacon
overwhelms me. Strange, the smell of bacon has never smelled as good as
it does this morning while watching my Mom hop around the kitchen.
“Morning
Mom.”
“Morning
Vanessa. How’d you sleep?”
“Awesome,
you?”
“Haven’t
slept that well in years.”
“Need
help with breakfast?”
“Nope!
It’s your birthday. Grab some coffee and relax.”
I
reach up and grab a coffee mug and pour myself some coffee. Usually I put
more cream than coffee in my cup, but today, I’m going to be a little crazy and
drink it black!
“Mom?”
“Yeah
honey.”
“So,
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. About James.”
“Is
everything okay?”
“Yeah.
Everything is fine. That’s just it. It’s always just fine.”
“Ahhhh.
Are you missing some excitement in your relationship?”
My
face turns red. My Mom obviously knows we’ve had sex but we’ve never
talked about it. “I guess. I just don’t feel those butterflies when
we’re together, ya know? He talks about marriage and stuff and I start to
panic. I’m not sure he’s the one but I’ve been with him for so long, it’s
scary to think about my life without him.”
“Can
I give you a bit of motherly advice?”
“Please.”
“You’re
only twenty-one, Vanessa. You sacrificed a large part of your young adult
years to care for me and our family. You’re much too young to be tied
down in a relationship. Especially, if you’re not feeling it. Are
you feeling it?”
“I
guess not.”
“No
regrets Vanessa.”
“No
regrets.”
“James
will not disappear. I’m sure you can still be friends.”
“Yeah,
your right.”
“What
are your plans today?”
“I’m
meeting Megan for lunch and then heading over to see James. He has dinner
planned for me.”
“I’m
glad you’re seeing Megan. She’s a good friend. You deserve some
girl time. About James? Think about yourself and your own needs for
a change. No regrets!” She points the spatula at me.
I
think about those needs, imagining my head thrown back, beads of sweat on my
forehead as I scream out in pleasure with the best orgasm of my life. I
pray my Mom can’t read my mind or see the blush on my face. I pull myself
away from my thoughts and help her set the table for breakfast.
We
call the rest of the family down and pass plates of bacon, eggs and toast
around the table. It feels so good for all of us to be sitting around the
table together talking and laughing like a normal family.
“Happy
birthday Vanessa.” Mason says giggling as he whips a piece of bacon at my
face. We laugh and throw food at each other. My Mom sits quietly at the
table with a small smile on her face.
“Okay,
that’s enough.” My Dad yells not looking up from his morning
newspaper. My Dad is still old school. Even though he owns an iPad,
he still reads the newspaper every morning and he reads paperback books
too. After I help my Mom cleanup, I decide to do some things I’ve been
putting off. Today just seems like the day to do those things I haven’t
been motivated to do. I download some of my favorite music to my iPhone
and then search the romance section on my kindle for my next book boyfriend.
I feel bad for James. He just doesn’t know what he’s been up
against. I finally finish folding my laundry that’s been piling up and
then I go through the mail opening all of my birthday cards. I’m glad
everything thinks the perfect gift for a twenty-one year old is cash. I
need it. I throw a $25 Visa gift card in my fake Coach purse and glance
at the clock. It’s time to meet Megan so I grab my purse and head out the
door.
I
pull up to the little café we used to meet at all the time. It’s been a while.
I haven’t gone out with friends in a long time. Megan is the only one
that makes an effort to get together. We try to meet for lunch at least
once a month to catch up. I used to talk about my Mom’s latest health
news or how I got called to Mason’s school because he was in a fight or how
much laundry I had to do or how James and I had sex and this time it lasted a
record-breaking 4.3 minutes and I still haven’t had an orgasm. She would
always talk about the latest boy in her life and what new position they’ve
tried and the funny drunk stories at all the college parties she
attended. Megan attends University of Colorado, Colorado Springs (UCCS).
She still lives at home and commutes to school but she has friends that
live on campus so she practically lives there. I walk into the diner and
glance around. It’s a tiny place with about 10 booths and a handful of
tables, decorated in 50’s decor. I spot her right away. Her unruly
curly brown hair stands out in a crowd. She’s tall and thin, like a supermodel.
Megan has been my best friend since 9
th
grade. We went through
all those crazy high school years together. She was boy crazy and with a
different boy every week and I was with James. Always.
She
runs over to me and pulls me into a giant hug. “So tell me.” She holds me
by the shoulders glaring into my eyes.
“She’s
clear!” I wipe a tear escaping from eye and jump up and down.
“Oh
my God Vanessa! That is so awesome! We have so much to
celebrate. Let’s sit.”
We
sit in a booth in the back and the waitress comes right over to take our
order. We both ask for the special, which is a cheeseburger and fries.
Usually I order a club sandwich. I usually try to eat healthy but I
love junk food, so when I have an excuse to pig out, I do. Today, we have a lot
to celebrate, so what the hell!
“So,
how is she feeling?” Megan asks, sipping on her diet coke.
“Good,
she was cooking breakfast this morning, singing in the kitchen. Brought
tears to my eyes. You have no idea how this news changes everything.”
“I
bet. You’re probably seeing things so differently now.”
“I
am. I’ve been thinking about James, actually.” I confess, fidgeting
with the straw wrapper on the table.
“Yeah?
Well, you know what I think.”