Wanted (4 page)

“We’re
all from Colorado Springs.”

“That’s
cool.  Where did you go to school?”

“I
haven’t.  I had to take some time off to take care of my Mom.  She
had cancer.  She’s healthy now so I think I might go back.  I just
haven’t thought about where yet.”

“Cool.
You should consider University of Boulder.  It’s a blast.  Hey, can I
get you another drink?”  He nods to my empty glass.

“Um,
sure.”  Matt waves the waitress over and orders us each another drink.

After
the third beer, Matt and his buddies start ordering tequila shots.  I’ve
never done one.  The waitress comes over with a tray of shots and a bowl
of limes.  I notice her trying to make eye contact with Matt.

“Let’s
do a toast!”  Slurs Lisa loudly.  “To Vanessa turning twenty-one and
getting a birthday orgasm!”

“Lisa!” 
How fucking embarrassing.  I hear Matt snicker next to me.  Everyone
raises their shots.

“Happy
Birthday.”  He says smirking raising his shot glass.  “Have you ever
done this before?” 

“Nope.”

Matt
flips his chair around and scoots it right up into my space.  He leans
over, our knees touching, as he licks his wet tongue up the side of my
neck.  Before he pulls away, he whispers in my ear “You taste good.”

I’m
a little shocked that he just licked me.  Then he takes the salt shaker
and shakes it over the wet spot.  He then licks the salt off, slings the
shot back and then sucks on the lime.

“You
try.”

I
hesitate for a moment and then lean over and drag my tongue up the side of his
neck, shake the salt over it, lick the salt and then quickly gulp the shot down
trying not to spit it back out while Matt shoves the lime in my mouth.

“Burns
huh?” He asks in amusement.

“Yeah,
holy shit!”  I immediately feel a little light headed and dizzy and then
the giggling starts. 

After
two more tequila shots, I can’t see straight.  I feel damp and
sweaty.  I can’t stop laughing and I can barely stand.  Matt drags me
to the dance floor and he holds me close to him with his hands firmly planted
on my ass.  He sucks on my neck and breathes in my ear as we barely dance. 
He pulls me tight to his body until I feel him hard against me and then he
starts moving his hips like we’re having sex on the dance floor in front of
everyone. As I start to feel a little bit humiliated, he must read my thoughts
and whispers into my ear, “Want to get out of here?”

“Yeah.” 
I have no fucking idea how we end up back at the cabin because I can barely
stand.  I am really fucked up.  I’m slouched on the couch with my
head thrown back.  The room is spinning.  I feel a hand on my thigh
moving quickly up towards my center.  I feel hot breath on my neck and
then a wet tickling on my ear.  I turn towards the source and see Matt’s
blurry face.  He attacks my lips aggressively thrusting his tongue in my
mouth and then I feel his hand cup me between my legs and squeeze.

“Can
I take your shirt off?”  He asks frantically.

I
try to lift my head to see where everyone went.

“They’re
still at the bar, we’re alone.”

This
is it. I’m twenty-one.  I’m a free woman.  I’m letting loose.  I
nod my head.

He
whips my shirt off and then lays me down on my back on the couch. While he
straddles my legs, I stare up at his face but he’s looking at my tits.  He
slides his tongue slowly over his bottom lip and then hooks his fingers under
the top of my bra cups and pulls them down. After exposing my tits, he wastes
no time dipping his head and sucking one into his mouth. I close my eyes and
try to relax.  It feels good.  His hand wanders between us,
unbuttoning my jeans and lowering the zipper and then he plunges his hand
inside my underwear. His two fingers poke around until he finds my opening.
 I’m not wet and it hurts like a bitch when he slams them into me.  I
cry out but he thinks I like it so he finger fucks me harder. I squeeze my eyes
shut and try to open my legs wider but my jeans are in the way.  It’s
uncomfortable.  Finally, he pulls my pants and underwear off and I relax
my legs as he undoes his pants, pushing them over his hips.  He reaches
into his pocket and opens a condom and rolls it over his hard cock. 
 I try to get a good look at it to see if he’s bigger than James but I
don’t have a chance.  After he lays on top of me, I start having second
thoughts.  I push them aside quickly, thinking about Megan’s pep
talk.  I’ve only ever been with James.  I’m not a slut.  This
isn’t going to make me one.  He hesitates before pushing into me, waiting
for my permission.  I put my hands on his ass and push him in.  I can
tell right away he is bigger than James.  It’s a bit uncomfortable because
I’m still not wet enough so I relax and try to imagine the sex scene in the
book I started reading recently.  Once I start to feel slick, I start to
meet his thrusts with my hips.  He doesn’t kiss me on the lips.  His
face hovers over mine and his tequila breath is blowing strands of hair off my
face with each pant. 

What
am I doing?  This isn’t me.  This guy doesn’t know me.  He
doesn’t care about me.   I feel nothing for him.  There is no
passion.  It’s completely meaningless.  I don’t even think I can
orgasm.

“I…I’m
sorry.  I can’t do this.”  I push him off of me.  It just
doesn’t feel right.  I’m so drunk.  What kind of guy does that? 
One- night- stand or not.  I just can’t let some guy I don’t know use my
body to get off when I have no control.  I can barely move right now.

“What
the fuck?”  He yells.  “You are such a fucking tease!  Why would
you bring me back here if you didn’t want to screw around?!”

“Um…helloo!!! 
I’m totally fucked up here.  I can’t even remember how we got here. 
I’m sorry!”

“Whatever
bitch!”  He pulls up his pants and then he storms out.

What
the hell?  I am not cut out for this.  Maybe James and I are really
meant for each other.  He was right.  I feel so lost.  I should
be having the time of my life right now.  Why can’t it be easy, like in my
romance novels? I lay there feeling like trash.  I’m used now and James
won’t take me back.  I feel like I might cry or pass out. 

I
wake up laying in the same position I was in last night.  I must have
passed out. The first thing I notice is that I am, in fact, still completely
naked.  I move slightly, my body not really wanting to.  I feel dried
spit on the side of my mouth. I finally pull myself to a sitting position and
look around the room.  The girls are all sitting at the table having their
coffee and checking their messages. 

“Well
look who woke up from the dead! Naked!  Looks like you got your birthday
wish.”  Lisa shouts.

I
cover my ears while looking for my clothes on the floor.  After I’m
dressed, I shuffle my feet over to the table collapsing onto the stool.  “What
happened to you guys last night?”

“We
closed the bar!  It was a good time.  You missed it.  We danced
all night.”  Megan replies.

“What
happened with Matt?  Obviously you got your birthday wish, but he came
back to the bar pissed.”

“We
had sex but didn’t finish.  I pushed him off me.  It didn’t feel
right.”

“Oh
man, no wonder he was pissy.  He was suffering from an intense case of
blue balls.” Lisa says shaking her head at me.

“Yeah,
well I didn’t go either. No big explosive orgasms here.  I was really
fucked up.”

“He’s
a nice guy Vanessa, and you really needed to loosen up.  You both were
looking for a good time so what was the big deal?”  Megan is starting to
piss me off.  She’s making me feel like the sole purpose of this trip is
to get me laid.  I admit I thought it might be a possibility. I just
thought I would feel differently about it.  It didn’t feel right.

“He
was having sex with me and I was practically passed out.  Some nice guy.”

“Vanessa,
you told us James bored you and you wanted passion and orgasms but yet you
won’t step out of your comfort zone and let yourself have some fun.  No
commitment, multiple orgasm fun!  You’re being ridiculous!”  Now
Megan seems pissed at me.

“I
felt like trash.  I didn’t want to be used and thrown out.”  Why do I
feel like the bad guy here?

“Hey
you guys!”  Kate interrupts as she’s reading the news on her tablet.
“Remember that girl that used to go to our high school, her name was Sophie
Carsen.  She ended up going to Western Colorado?”

“Yeah,
I remember her.  She was the one that got attacked and murdered near
campus last year.”  I remember that.  It was an awful story. 
She went to a party on campus and the next morning, they found her naked body
in the woods.  She had been brutally attacked and cut up with a knife. They
never caught the guy. 

“Yeah,
well there was another girl too.  Her name was Mia.  Well, just last
month, another girl came forward.  She was attacked with a knife and left
for dead out in the middle of the woods but she survived.  This article
says that the guy who did it was her boyfriend.  His name is Ryan
Jenson.  He goes to Western Colorado too.  After she was found, he
disappeared.  They suspect he is the same guy that killed Sophie and
Mia.”  They all lean over and look at his picture.

“He’s
fucking hot!”  Lisa squeals.

“He
murdered two girls and then tried to off his best friend, Lisa!” I yell at her.

“I
know!  I’m just saying. That tattoo is sexy as hell.”

“I
remember that story last month.  She said they had been friends for
years.  That he was the nicest guy and then all of a sudden at a party,
she felt funny.  She thinks he slipped something into her drink and then
she said he attacked her.  She said he was like a completely different
person.” Says Kate, shaking her head.

“Creepy.
Maybe he has multiple personality disorder like Sally Fields?  Remember
that movie?”  I ask.

“Cybil! 
Yeah, freaky…or remember that movie with Richard Gere.”  Megan stops to
think.  “Primal Fear!  The guy blames it on his other personality but
it was all just an act, he was just a psycho!” Megan blurts out.

“So
girls?!  We hitting the slopes, or not?  It’s starting to snow. 
We might get a few more inches of fresh stuff!”  Lisa asks
enthusiastically.

“I
think I’m going to take some aspirin and catch up to you guys a little
later.  My head is pounding.”  I say, holding my head up with both
hands.

“Okay. 
Just come look for us.” Megan says.

I
take the aspirin and down two full glasses of water.  My mouth is dry as
hell.  I grab a bagel and choke it down knowing I’ll feel better with
something in my stomach.  I lay down for an hour or so and take a
shower.  I feel a ton better and decide to join the girls on the
slopes. 

I’m
standing at the bottom of the hill where we were skiing yesterday, scanning all
the people coming down the hill looking for bright orange pants.  I don’t
see them for a while so I get a coffee in the lodge and sit on a bench just
watching the people walk by.  It’s colder today and dark clouds are moving
in.  It’s snowing lightly.  I’m sipping the hot coffee warming both
my hands on the cup when I see him.  Matt.  With the waitress from
last night.  He’s got one hand on her hip leaning into her and she is
giggling into his shoulder.  Good for her. 

Ah! 
There’s the orange pants.  She walks right past me with Davis, not seeing
me sitting on the bench and joins Matt and the waitress.  After a few
minutes they all walk into the lodge laughing together. Shit, I don’t know what
to do.  I am certainly not joining them in there.  As I stand up to
decide what to do, Lisa and Kate walk past me with Nate trailing right behind
them.  They all disappear into the lodge together.

I
can’t believe Megan would do this to me.  Does she expect me to hang out
with Matt and the waitress?

Screw
them!  I head back to the cabin and take all my ski gear off.  I
throw my jeans on and a hoodie over my white tank.  I gather my toiletries
from the bathroom and throw them in my backpack and glance at the clock. 
It’s only 4pm.  I could be home by 9pm.  That’s not too late. 
I’d be leaving tomorrow morning anyway.  I just don’t want to be here if
they come back with Matt.  Maybe they won’t even come back.  Maybe
they’ll hang out at the bar and I’d be stuck here by myself.  I check my
phone.  No calls or texts.  Except from James.  They haven’t
even checked on me.

“Mom?”

“Hey
sweetie!  How’s it going?”

“I’m
coming home.  I’m going to leave now.  I should be home by 9.”

“Why?
What happened Vanessa?”

“Just
girl stuff, Mom.  It’s nothing.”

“Well.
Okay.  I’ll make sure to keep some leftovers from dinner for you in case
you’re hungry when you get home.  Be careful. I hear we’re getting some
snow tonight.”

“I
will Mom, I’ll see you soon.”

I
write a note to Megan telling her I needed to leave.  I am really upset
with her but I don’t want her to worry either.

I
get into my bug and set my GPS for home and pull away from the cabin.  I
feel a tightness in my throat and then my eyes burn as tears start to fall down
my cheeks.  I was really hoping this weekend would be different, a new
start for me.  I don’t have James anymore and my friends kind of deserted
me. I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere.  Except home.  My family
loves me unconditionally.  I smile at the thought of us all together
exchanging presents and my Mom cooking apple pies in the kitchen.  Last
year, we were at the hospital.  It was awful.  My Mom was barely
conscious.  My Dad was working in the ER.  Mason and I sat in my
Mom’s hospital room watching
It’s a Wonderful Life
and eating tuna sandwiches
that the nurse brought us from the cafeteria.  Our presents sat under the
tree until my Mom came home the day after New Year’s.