Authors: ML Ross
Then
I see his knife. He feathers it across my chest. My heart is beating so
fast. I’m breaking out in a sweat even though the temperature must be
around 20 degrees.
“Ryan.
Why are you doing this to me?” I mumble, not sure I’m even getting words out.
“I
just want to play. Don’t you like to play Vanessa?” He takes the
knife and severs the material of my bra between my breasts. Terror
consumes me and my body begins to shake violently. Tears are falling from my
eyes. I know I can’t push him off of me. I realize now that I’ve been
drugged. My body is completely numb. I can’t move my arms or my
legs. I lose my will to fight. I just shake my head back and forth
as the tears fall down the sides of my face.
“Please
Ryan.” I beg. “Please don’t do this. I can help you. I
want to help you.” I continue to beg.
“I
don’t need your fucking help, bitch!” He slaps my face hard and then moves off
of me. His hands grip my skirt and underwear and he yanks them off my
legs. I’m completely bare except for my ripped shirt still draped over my
shoulders. I’m unable to move and then I can’t see him anymore. I’m
terrified. I hear noises. I’m not sure what he’s doing.
They’re coming from behind me. I try to move my head to look but I
can’t. My head is pounding. I think about my family. I can’t
die like this. My mom won’t survive it. The will to survive gives
me a burst of adrenaline. I roll to my tummy and see his feet about 10
feet away. I lift my body as much as I can and start to do an army crawl
away from him. Then he’s back. He flips me to my back again and
backhands my face. Spit flies from my mouth.
“You’ve
been a very bad girl Vanessa. You won’t like your punishment.”
He
ties my wrists together with rope and it’s digging painfully into my
skin. I cry out but then he shoves something in my mouth. My eyes
widen. It’s hard to breath and the more I panic, the harder it is.
I try to calm down and take big breaths through my nose. I look above me and
all I see are rafters. He pulls me by my tied hands above my head and
hooks them onto something. Then I feel my body being strung up towards
the rafters. He stops when I’m fully standing with my arms stretched above
my head, my toes barely touch the floor. I’m swaying slightly as I’m
trying to touch the ground with my toes because the ropes are hurting my wrists
so bad. I can barely keep my head upright.
Then
he stands in front of me.
“You
like to play, don’t you Vanessa? Or should I give you your punishment
first?” He asks tapping the tip of the blade to his lips.
He
runs the blade of the knife lightly over my chest. I try to hold my
breath because I’m afraid if I move, it will slice me. I start feeling
like I’m going to pass out so I’m forced to gasp for air through my nose.
My chest collapses with my inhale and presses out with my exhale. As I
exhale, I feel the blade slice my skin above my breast. My eyes water as
the open skin starts to burn.
He
pulls the knife away from me, watching me bleed with a sick look of
satisfaction on his face. He quickly starts to unbutton his pants as he
continues to stare at the blood now running down my breast. I’m screaming
in my head. Muffled sounds seeping out from under my gag. I push
with my toes on the ground trying to swing myself away from him. He holds
up the knife, holding the bloody blade in his hand and showing me the wooden
handle. He slides the handle down my body until he gets between my
legs. Oh God! I shake my head, as tears continue to fall. I can’t
catch my breath anymore. I must pass out because everything goes black.
“What
the fuck!” I sit up straight in the seat squinting through the windshield
at the couple walking down the sidewalk. Is that her? My heartbeat
takes off in a sprint as I start to panic. She looks drunk. He’s
holding her up while they walk to a car parked a few houses down. I get
out of the truckster and walk on the opposite side of the street, keeping my
eyes on her. Shit! I can’t see. Then I hear her ask “Whose
car is this?” and I know. It’s her. Son of a fucking bitch.
He pushes her into the passenger seat and before I turn to run back to the
truckster, I catch a glimpse of the back of his car. It’s the same
fucking car! He was at the cabin. It was him! Who is he?
Shit! I run back down the street turning around to see what direction
they’re headed.
I
head in the same direction trying to keep up with them so I don’t lose
them. I keep up for a few miles and then he must make a turn that I
miss. I pound my hands on the steering wheel and scream. If
anything happens to her, it will be all my fault. I will deserve
prison. I’ll deserve worse than prison. I turn around and drive
slowly looking for the spot where I missed his turn and then I spot it. A
dirt trail going into the woods. I turn off my headlights and follow the
trail slowly until I see his car parked up about a quarter mile ahead. I
get out of the car with the gun shoved in the back of my pants. Shit, I can’t
be more than ten minutes behind. Please don’t let him hurt her. Please.
I
had a bad feeling about her going to this party. I fucking knew it.
I’ll never forgive myself. Please let her be okay, I chant to myself,
please let her be okay.
I
stalk towards his car and then notice a barn. This is the same area they
described when they found Kim and the two other girls. I start to feel
like I might vomit. I hold it back and keep walking towards the barn.
I hear some noise and I think I hear his voice. I creep up slowly not wanting
to give him any warning that I’m here. I don’t want him to hurt her or
run before I know who he is.
I
come to the opening of the barn and I see her. She’s hanging from the
rafters. Her hands tied together above her head. She’s completely
naked and her head hangs to the side, eyes closed, something stuffed in her
mouth. He has his back to me and looks like he has something in his hand
that he’s touching her with but I can’t see. I quietly pull the gun out
of my pants and walk slowly towards him. As I get closer, I see that his
pants are undone. He has a knife in his hand. He’s holding the
blade and has the handle pressed between her legs. His eyes are closed
and he’s panting heavy as he starts to push the handle of the knife into her.
“You
sick son of a bitch!” I shout, lunging at him. He drops the knife and
backs away from me as I point my gun at his head from 2 feet away. He
smirks at me as my mouth drops open in utter shock. As I lock eyes with
him, I feel like I’m staring into a mirror.
“Who
the fuck are you?” I scream. As I’m dealing with the realization of
what is happening, I must lower my gun slightly. He takes the opportunity
to run. I’m stunned and can’t move my legs to go after him. I hear
his car spit rocks and dirt before I finally snap out of it.
I
slip the gun back into my pants and run to Ness. “God, baby. I’m
here.” I whisper as I untie her bloody wrists. She falls lifeless
into my arms and I drop to the ground with her, holding her in my lap. I pull
the ball of fabric out of her mouth and check her breathing and then I
frantically check her body. She has blood smeared all over her chest and
a bruised cheek. Her back is scratched and bloody. I swallow loudly and
squeeze my eyes closed as I put my hand between her legs and run my shaky
fingers gently between her legs. I lift my fingers in front of me and pray I
don’t see blood when I open my eyes. My heart is beating frantically.
I open my eyes slowly and breathe out a huge sigh of relief. She’s going
to be okay.
“I’m
here Ness. You’re okay. I gotcha.”
I
hug her to me, rocking her as I feel my eyes start to sting with tears.
The thought of what could have happened to her if I wasn’t there with her at
that party tonight kills me. I look down at her pale limp body and
realize its fucking freezing out here. I pull my shirt off and pull it over her
head, carefully sliding her arms in. I hug her to my body to warm her and
then I look around for the knife. I have to take the knife. I see
her torn shirt on the ground and decide I can use that to wrap the knife
in. Slowly, I lift her fragile body and take her to the truckster.
I slide her in the back seat and kiss her cheek, making sure she’s covered with
my shirt.
I
run back to grab her ripped shirt and then use it to pick up his knife. I wrap
the knife in her shirt trying not to smudge anything and then put it in the
trunk. I drive slowly, trying to find my way back to the cabin and checking
on her periodically so she doesn’t wake and freak the fuck out.
When
I reach the cabin, I check all around for anything out of place. I carry
her in and lay her on the bed covering her with the sheet. I back away a
couple of steps, watching her. She’s going to be okay. I run my
hands over my face trying to pull myself together. She’s going to think
it was me. She is going to freak out and run. Tentatively, I lift
her wrist and wrap a bandage around it and then handcuff her to the bed.
Shit.
I’m
experiencing déjà vu of the worst kind.
I
wake up groggy. My body heavy. My eyes swollen. It takes me awhile
for visions to start filling my memory. I remember the party. I remember
the conversation about Ryan:
“It’s always the quiet ones. I heard he
brutally attacked her and then tortured her with a knife until he thought she
was dead.”
“I can’t believe it.”
“Well, believe it. He ran. He’s totally
guilty. You always hear about these psychos on the news. He was quiet.
He seemed like a nice guy. He was charming. Like that Scott
Peterson who murdered his pregnant wife. They’re fine one day and then
all of a sudden, they just snap. They are just sick!”
I
remember him above me ripping my shirt.
I
remember the knife.
I
remember being stripped down.
I
remember being tied up and hung from rafters in a barn.
I
remember him cutting me.
I
remember the knife between my legs.
I
remember Ryan.
Oh
God. It was Ryan. I force my eyes open and immediately focus on the
piece of peeling wallpaper in the corner. I’m back in the cabin. I
try to sit up and realize I am fucking handcuffed to the bed. Again. I scream.
Ryan
comes running into the room. His arms up in surrender.
“Let
me go you fucking sick son of a bitch!! Why? I trusted you!!!
You nasty fuck!!” I struggle with everything I have but my body still
feels weak from the drugs.
He
comes closer to me and I kick at him as hard as I can, screaming.
“Ness!
Stop, it’s me. Please Ness. Listen to me! I didn’t hurt
you.” He unlocks the handcuffs and I try to hit him but he grabs both my
wrists in his strong hands and straddles my legs so I can’t move. I spit
in his face but he doesn’t let go of me. I buck my body as hard as I can
to get him off but I can’t. I lose it. I sob. My body
convulses and I continue to scream.
“Ness!!
Listen to me! Stop screaming. Please Ness! Fuck, please listen to
me.” He begs.
Ness……
“I just want to play, don’t you like to play
Vanessa?”
Ryan
never calls me Vanessa.
“Ryan?”
I whisper.
“It’s
me Ness. I didn’t hurt you. God, I would never hurt you. I….God, I
love you. I wouldn’t ever hurt you. Please, tell me you believe me.” He
pleads.
“I
don’t understand. What’s going on? I saw you! What’s
happening?”
“I
think I know. I think I know! Listen to me Ness. I think I
have a brother. I think it’s my brother. I have to get that
information about my biological family. I have the key to the safe
deposit box my Mom left for me. I know my Mom left me that
information. It has to be there. I saw him Ness. I saw
him. He looks just like me.”
“How
did you find me?”
“I
saw him take you to his car. It was dark, I didn’t get a good look at him
at first. I followed him. I was a few minutes behind. He took
a turn and I lost him for a while but I was able to get there in time. He
took you to the same area Kim was attacked.”
“Ryan,
what did he do to me?” I cry, looking down at my body. I know I
blacked out. Oh God!
“Nothing.
Nothing baby. I got there in time.” He sits back on his knees and pulls
me up into his lap and squeezes me into a hug, holding my head to his chest.
“But
I remember. He cut me and he unbuttoned his pants and then he pushed the
handle of his knife……” I start to cry hysterically.
“Vanessa,
look at me. Baby, look at me.” He holds my face in his hands and
looks me in the eyes. “You’re okay. I saw him with the knife.
You must have passed out right before I got there. I checked you,
baby. He didn’t do it. I got there in time. I promise.
You’re okay.” Ryan’s eyes swell with unshed tears as he looks at my
terrified expression. He squeezes my body to him. “You’re okay
Ness.” He reassures as he rocks me. “I had the gun with me and he
ran. He dropped the knife. I have the knife with his fingerprints.
We have evidence, Ness.”
“Oh
God, Ryan is it over?” I whisper.
“I
need to get to that safe deposit box. I can take all the information to
the police along with that knife with his fingerprints. You can press
charges. We need to tell Kim. She needs to go to the police to
clear my name.” He pauses as something seems to dawn on him. “What made
you realize just now it wasn’t me who hurt you?”
“You
call me Ness. He called me Vanessa. I was so scared and the drugs
were clouding my thinking last night. Now, when I think back, I realize he
looked different and he didn’t have a tattoo. I bet once Kim knows the truth,
it will make sense to her too. I’m sorry Ryan. I’m sorry that for even
one second I thought it was you.”
“Don’t
be sorry. You have no idea how scared I was when I saw him take you from
that house. If I wasn’t there?” His words break off.
“You
were. You saved my life. Twice! Ryan?” I pause wondering if I
should ask. “Did you just tell me that you loved me?” I ask shyly.
“I
do. I love you Ness. I was so scared of losing you. You have
no idea how scared I was.” He squeezes me to him tighter.
“Do
you think he was the one that was here the other night?”
“Same
car. It was him.”
“Oh
my God.”
“Baby,
your safe now. He won’t come here. He knows I saw him. He
knows I have a gun. He’s probably on the run now. We’ll go to Kim
tomorrow and get to the police. Everything’s going to be okay. I
promise.”
“I’m
so tired.”
“Sleep
baby, you’re safe.”
“Ryan.
I love you too. I’ve loved you since you killed that spider for
me.” I cuddle into him and we lay silent awhile before we both dose
off. Neither one of us has had a full night of sleep in days. We’re
so tired. As sleep takes over me, I’m transported back to that barn.
It’s dark and so cold. My arms are stretched
above me, the rope digging into my skin. My toes are barely touching the
dirt floor. I’m completely nude and gagged. I feel a sharp object
gliding across my breasts. My skin is stinging as its being sliced open.
Cold blood drips down my stomach. I hear heavy breathing and my own
whimpers.
“Vanessa, do you like to play?”
“No!” I scream in my head. “Please
no!” Then I feel the blade slide between my thighs and I scream. A
blood curdling scream.
“Ness!!
Wake up baby, wake up!”
“Ryan!
Oh God, It was a nightmare, it was just a nightmare.” My body is soaked with
sweat and I’m shaking uncontrollably.
“Shhhh,
I gotcha. You’re safe. No one’s gonna hurt you baby. I
gotcha.” He squeezes me to him and holds my head to his chest.
“Let’s
get you into the tub, Ness. A warm bath will help you feel better and
relax, okay?”
“Okay.”
He
draws a warm bubble bath for me, sets me in gently and then crawls behind me
letting me relax against his chest. He uses a soft washcloth to wash my
body, being gentle around my scratches. We soak for a while until the
water begins to cool and then he gently dries me off and pulls one of his
t-shirts over my head. We head back to bed and he pulls me on top of him.
My body feels warm and relaxed. Ryan is being so caring. He told me
he loved me. I’m overwhelmed with so much emotion, I wish I could crawl
inside of him right now. “I need you Ryan.” I whisper.
“I’m
here baby. I’m here.” He takes my face in his hands and slides his
tongue across my bottom lip. I part my lips for him and we both
desperately feast on each other’s mouths. “Make love to me Ryan.” I
whisper.
He
grabs a condom off the nightstand, flips me onto my back and crawls over my
body. He pulls his shirt off me so I lay before him completely
bare. I notice the small cut on my chest. He follows my gaze, leans
down and places a soft kiss there.
“I’m
sorry he hurt you, Ness.”
“I’m
okay. Make it better Ryan. I want you.”
He
stands up and undresses, making sure to pull the condom on before crawling back
up over my body. He lies on top of me and gently presses kisses all over
my face and neck. I hold his head to me and arch my back, begging him to
continue further down. He nips at my skin as he descends towards my
breasts, taking one in his mouth and sucking gently.
I
spread my legs to accommodate his body between my legs as he slowly pushes into
me. He joins our hands together just above my head and begins to pump
slowly, searching my eyes.
“Ryan?”
“Yeah,
baby.”
“I
don’t want you to make love to me anymore. I need more.”
“What
do you need, baby?”
“I
need you to fuck me, Ryan.”
“Are
you sure?”
“Yeah.”
Without
saying a word, he flips me onto my stomach and then pulls me by my ankles to
the end of the bed so I’m bent over with my feet on the floor. He kicks
my legs apart and I wait patiently for him to enter me, but he doesn’t.
He drops to his knees, spreading me open with his fingers and tongues me
from behind. I lift my ass for him, wanting to give him full access as he
flicks his tongue over my clit the way I like it. He holds my thighs open
with his hands while he stiffens his tongue and darts it in and out of me
several times and then licks all the way up to my asshole. My body convulses
and I pant breathlessly and then his tongue is gone. I’m suddenly pressed
into the mattress as he plunges into me from behind hard and fast. I grab
the sheets to hold on as he incessantly drives into me, my hard nipples rubbing
on the mattress. His grunting noises make me crazy for him so I push back hard
and fast in sync with his thrusts. The sounds of our skin slapping
together heightens my arousal.
“You
are so beautiful Ness. You feel fucking amazing. I love being
inside you.” He slows his movements and leans his body over my back
kissing my shoulder and then reaches for my hands, interlacing them. His
movements slow but he pushes in so deep, it triggers an intense orgasm.
We fist the sheets together and I groan into the mattress as my climax goes on
and on. Even though this isn’t slow and gentle, it isn’t fucking
either. I don’t know what it is. It’s emotional and intense.
Giving me a moment to catch my breath, he then grabs my hips, flipping me over
to my back. My legs are still shaking. He pulls them up over his
shoulders, leans over me pushing my thighs to my chest and starts rocking into
me deep and slow. Just as one orgasm ends, I already feel another one
building.
“I
love you Ness.” He whispers, interlacing our fingers again and placing
our joined hands together above my head. Our faces are only inches away, our
eyes locking on each other’s.
“I
love you, so much.” I rock my hips with his trying to get as close as I can to
his body. To feel him as deep inside my body as possible. He hits that
spot as he drag himself out of me and pushes back in. I throw my head
back as my muscles clench around him. “Oh God, I’m coming again.
Ahhhh!” A long, loud moan escapes me as he reaches down and just barely
touches my clit to send me over the edge. My moan turns into a shriek as
Ryan pounds into me a few more times until I feel him swell inside me and he
finds his release. He kisses my mouth sweetly, then my chin, then my
neck, then my chest and then my belly. I hold his head to my belly, running
my hands through his hair as I feel his warm breath cascade across my skin.
“Christ
Ness. I never was a church going guy before but I swear, I think God put
you on this earth just for me. We may not have met in the most ideal circumstance
but I crashed into you for a reason. You are meant to be mine.”
We
climb up the bed together and wrap around each other as we start drifting off
to sleep again. “Ryan?”
“Yeah
baby.”
“Why
did you handcuff me again last night?! You freaked me the hell out!”
“I
didn’t want you to run Ness. I never want to let you go.”