Authors: ML Ross
After
we come in from the snow to get warmed up, I decide to put on a pot of
coffee. Ryan gets the fire going and then goes into the bedroom to lay
down. I can’t help to notice him glance at me twice on the way.
Clearly, he is trying to trust me but he still has doubts. I turn on some
music and start cleaning up around the kitchen. There isn’t much to
clean. We don’t have that much. I do find a broom and clean up the
floors. I wash the dishes. I hand wash my only pair of underwear in
the sink. There is not a washing machine or dryer here and I’m going to
need more clothes. I wonder how much longer we’ll be here. I start to
think about going home. What will happen to Ryan? To us? He says he
feels the same but what about when this is all over? I think about the
way Ryan makes my body feel. I replay the moment on the kitchen counter
and the chair and the shower and the bed and a shiver runs through me. I
can’t get enough of him.
Dark Horse
by
Katy Perry begins to play on the radio. I turn it up loud. I love
this song. It has a very sexy beat. I decide Ryan has slept long
enough. The fireplace is heating up the small cabin so I strip down to my
clean underwear and tank top and I open the bedroom door. He’s lying on
his back with his jeans unbuttoned and his Affliction t-shirt riding up,
showcasing his tight abs and the trail leading to where I need to be. His
arms are resting behind his head and his mouth is slightly open. His
brows are frowning like he’s having a bad dream again. I leap up on the
bed making him bounce twice and stand over him, swaying my hips sensually to
the music. It doesn’t take him long to wake up and watch me
intently. I slowly pull my tank top over my head and shake my hair
out. Then, I dance for him. ‘
So you wanna play with magic.
Boy, you should know what you're falling for. Baby do you dare to do
this. Cause I’m coming at you like a dark horse’.
With my legs spread
apart standing above his waist, I move my hips and run my hands up my thighs,
over my belly and over my breasts, pushing my breasts up and my nipples
out. My nipples stiffen so I pull on them and play with them as I
dance. He grips the back of my legs as I move above him. Bending my knees
and squatting over him, I slide my finger in my mouth and suck, licking it as I
slowly drag it out. I glide my wet finger down my body slowly before I
dip it into my underwear as he watches me with longing. His eyes are
bright, his tongue darting out to the top of his lip. I dip my finger
deep inside myself and lick my lips with the tip of my tongue while keeping my
eyes on his. He reaches up and drags my underwear down my legs so he can
watch me finger myself. I kick my underwear off and push my finger in and
out slowly, moaning softly.
“Did
you try to run, Ness? Do I need to get the handcuffs out?” He says
teasingly. My body shutters with desire. Dear God, this man was
made just for me.
“I
was so very bad, Ryan.” I bite my bottom lip to hold back my smile.
He
leans back and reaches his arm out pulling the handcuffs off the nightstand.
“On your knees. Over my face. Put your hands on the headboard.”
He commands in his deep, sexy voice. I drop to my knees over his
face and place my hands on the headboard. He locks my hands in place and
I look down at him. My heart is racing. His face is between my legs
and I’m surprised that I don’t feel a bit uncomfortable about it. He
makes me feel sexy and confident. He scoots his body down a little more
until I feel is breath rush out over my pussy. I’m still holding his
gaze. I’m breathing heavy and my body is trembling. He gives me a
look with his eyes that tells me to trust him. I do. He reaches his
big hands up, grabbing my ass and pulling me to his mouth. Then, he eats
me likes he’s starving.
“Oh
shit!” I scream. He stiffens his tongue and fucks me with it
wildly. I start riding his face as an intense orgasm builds
quickly. His fingers dig into my ass pushing me further onto his
face. “Ryan, Oh God Ryan!” I’m moving my hips frantically as his mouth is
devouring me. He flattens his tongue and then licks me slowly up my
center and then slides two fingers in while he sucks my clit into his mouth.
He pushes his fingers in deep while teasing my clit with the tip of his
tongue. My muscles clench around his fingers and then he smacks my ass,
hard, as I feel him bite my clit softly. I scream as all the sensations at once
become too much. An explosive orgasm rocks my body. He laps up my juices
as I come on his tongue. I look down at him and watch, his eyes closed, as he
gives me one last long lick.
I’m
trembling and panting. My knees are about to give out. Ryan reaches
up and unlocks the handcuffs and then cradles my body to his. He licks
between my lips until I open for him and then I taste myself on his tongue.
“See
how good you taste Ness. Like fucking cotton candy.” His dirty
words turn me on. I swirl my tongue in his mouth and suck his tongue into
my mouth as we both moan. We break away breathless and then I cuddle my
face into his neck, closing my eyes and breathing him in.
“I
never had an orgasm before you. Well, except for the ones my B.O.B. gave
me.” I confess.
“Who
the fuck is Bob? Is that your ex-boyfriend?”
“No!”
I laugh. “Battery operated boyfriend. My ex’s name is James.”
“James
never gave you an orgasm?” I can tell he’s shocked. I know I’ve had
them but they were nothing like what I just experienced.
“I
had to fake it. I’ve never felt anything like that in my life.”
“Okay,
so tell me now, what kind of relationship did you have with James?”
“He
didn’t like foreplay. We usually just had sex in the missionary position
for about 7 minutes.”
“You’re
kidding? So he never sucked your pussy?”
“Ryan!”
I push at him. I can feel his shoulders shake with laughter.
“You
like my dirty talk, don’t pretend you don’t. So, did you suck him?”
“No.
Never. You’re my first. For both.” I say looking up at him
with a smile.
“I
like that. What else can I be your first at?”
“Hmmm…..”
“Anal?”
“Oh
God!” I bury my face in his neck.
“I
take it that’s a no? You wouldn’t want to try?”
I
start to shake with nervous laughter. “I don’t know.”
“I
know you like to be restrained. What else turns you on?”
“You’re
embarrassing me.”
“Why
are you embarrassed all the time? Didn’t you and James talk about this
stuff?”
“Never.”
“Well,
I don’t want you to be embarrassed with me. If you want something from
me, just ask. If you want me to suck your pussy, just say; Ryan, will you
please suck my pussy?”
“Stop!”
He laughs at me again. “What about the girls you were with? I know
I’m inexperienced and don’t measure up to the experiences you’ve had but….”
“Don’t!
You have no idea what you do to me, do you? I’ve never felt anything like
this with anyone else. I was fucking out my frustration with those girls.
It was different. I never felt anything like this with them.”
“What
about Kim?” I ask hesitantly.
“Ugh.”
He rubs his hands over his face. “It’s complicated. My feelings for
her are complicated.” He leaves it at that. I’m not sure I want to push
it. He’s sensitive about the entire Kim topic. Instead, I change
the subject because I’m also curious about his past.
“Can
I ask you something, Ryan? If you were so messed up after your parents
died, drinking and getting into trouble. How did you end up at college
studying biology and pre-med?”
“Before
my parents died, I was a good kid. I was a great student with a 4.0. I had a
good family. They were supportive and I had plans and goals for my life.
When they died, I became so angry and overwhelmed with grief and I didn’t have
an outlet. I had no idea how to deal with the extreme anger I felt. When I was
sent to that foster home, I knew my days were numbered there. I had no
clue what I was going to do or where I was going to go. I became uncontrollable.
My foster parents didn’t want me there. They took me in knowing it was
only for two years and if I didn’t come home, they were fine with it. Half the
time, I was so drunk, I don’t even remember where I slept. I used
girls. I stole. I stole from my foster parents. I stole from
my friends. Mostly money so I could buy alcohol. Thankfully I
didn’t get into drugs. I think I was close though. I felt so hopeless and
then I got the call from that Lawyer. I suddenly felt I had a chance,
that’s when I got this tattoo.” He points to his bicep. As if I hadn’t
noticed it.
“What
does it mean?”
“Hope,
life, faith, honor.” He pauses. “Anyway, the Lawyer explained the
Trust my parents left me. He explained how it worked and what was
expected of me. The money was to be used only for college and living
expenses. I hadn’t even thought about college since I lost my parents. I
knew they had always expected me to go though. He also gave me a key to a
safe deposit box. I know what’s in it. My Mom always said that when
I turned 18, she would give me the information about my biological parents and
that it would be up to me to decide what to do with it. I have no interest in
finding out who they are. He also gave me another letter. It was a
handwritten letter from my Mom. The letter talked about how she loved me
more than anything and that I could do anything and be anything I wanted to
be. That I was smart and going to do great things. I was always
curious about biology, even when I was little. I loved science. I
loved dissecting frogs in fourth grade. I was such a nerd” He
laughs. “My Mom always encouraged me. She said I was going to help
people, maybe even save lives one day. She said she was proud of
me. After reading that letter, I knew I needed to make changes. I
applied to school right away. I got my studio apartment. I slowed
down with the girls and the drinking. But, you know, I was still a guy in
college. I was still trying to fix my shit but I had plans to change my
life and make a good future. I had goals again. I was trying to
focus on school. I was trying to be a good person and make my Mom proud.”
He shakes his head in disappointment. “Now I’m wanted for murder. Fuck!”
“We
have developing news in the case of the missing girl from Colorado Springs,
Vanessa Cartwright. Vanessa Cartwright’s car was found on the side of
Route 50 near Gunnison with her belongings still inside on December 23
rd
.
Police are still on the hunt for Ryan Jenson, a suspect wanted for questioning
in this case. Just this morning, Vanessa’s mother, Lynn Cartwright,
notified police that she received a letter that appears to be in Vanessa’s
handwriting. The letter states that Vanessa is not hurt and that she is safe
and will be home soon. Investigators are now pursuing new leads in this
case and are very optimistic that they will deliver Vanessa safely to her
family very soon. Please stay tuned for updates on News 9 at 9.”
Ryan
and I stand next to each other listening to the recent news about my
disappearance. Reality slaps me across the face. Ryan is wanted for murder and
I am a missing person. It just doesn’t seem real. I’m afraid for
him. We’re running out of time.
“I’m
sorry Ryan. I didn’t think my Mom would go to the police. I mean, I guess
I know why but I just never thought about how it would affect their search for
you.”
“It’s
not your fault. She just loves you and she wants you to come home.”
“Ryan,
I need to go see Kim.” We’ve talked about this before and he doesn’t seem
comfortable with the idea at all.
“Tomorrow’s
Saturday. She’ll be at work. I just don’t think this is a good
idea. Shit! I don’t know.” He says, running his hands through his
hair.
“It’s
worth a try. I’ll go in the morning. I’ll see what I can find out.”
Ryan
and I are starting to feel an enormous amount of tension. I can tell he’s
becoming more distant each time we get updates on the news and each time they
seem to be getting closer to finding him and we are still clueless about what’s
really going on and proving Ryan’s innocence. I’m scared. I’m not
sure Kim is going to tell me anything, it’s a long shot. What happens
then? Ryan is going to be hauled off to prison for murder. I know
he’s having the same thoughts. I also don’t think he wants me to go see
Kim. He still has doubts about me not going to the police or telling
someone about him.
We
desperately need a distraction. I need to do something to get my mind of
things, so I go snooping around the cabin to see what I can find.
Apparently, Gramps and I would have gotten along splendidly because I find a
very cool stash of horror flicks.
“Ryan!”
I yell from the bedroom closet.
“Yeah.”
He comes running in. I love how attentive he is. Always right there
when I need him.
“Up
for a movie?”
“What
did you find?”
“A
bunch of classics. I think we should watch this one.” I hold it
up. “
A Cabin in the Woods
.”
“You
like horror flicks huh?”
“Love
them!”
“You
are my kind of chick. I could not have crashed into a more perfect girl.”
He grabs my face and kisses my lips with a big smooch.
I
pop the movie in and curl up on his lap on the small armchair. It turns
out not to be my kind of horror movie. It’s about a reality horror movie that
people are producing underground or something. It’s the weirdest movie I’ve
ever seen.
“This
isn’t very scary.” I complain.
“Do
you want to watch something else?”
“I
wonder if he has
Human Centipede
in there. Do you know you freaked
me out so bad when I woke up in the handcuffs that I immediately thought of
that movie?”
“What?
You thought I was going to make you into a human centipede?” He chuckles.
“I
have a fear of creepy crawling bugs and of course being taken by an insane
scientist that wants to sew people together would be another fear of mine. That
movie was so disturbing. I’m still disturbed.”
“I’m
sorry I freaked you out, Ness. I can’t even imagine the fear you must
have felt. Not knowing what my intentions were. Do I still scare you?”
“What
do you mean?”
“Shit,
I don’t know. Do you feel like you have to do things how I want….”
“I
know where you’re going with this Ryan. Don’t. Do you remember me
fighting you off the day you brought me here? If I didn’t want to, I
wouldn’t. I would fight.”
“Yeah.
I just…..I’m fucking holding you captive here. It’s hard to know…you
know, what’s real.”
“Ryan.”
I grip his face with both of my hands, looking him straight in the eyes.
“I swear. I’m not putting on an act. I want to help you. I
will talk to Kim and I will come back. I promise.” I whisper into
his lips as I search his eyes for that trust I want so badly from him.
“Okay.”
He says quietly and with uncertainty.
He
kisses me on the forehead and I cuddle back into him pretending to watch the
stupid movie. I don’t know what else to say to him. Doesn’t he feel the
emotion pouring off of me when we’re together? I feel like I’m oozing
with passion for Ryan. How can he think I’m faking that while planning my
escape? All of a sudden, I hear a noise that’s coming from outside the
cabin and I jump. “Did you hear that?”
“What?”
He mutes the TV.
“Shhh…..”
We both remain frozen with wide eyes trying to listen. We are out in the
middle of nowhere. It is as quiet as church at night. I guess there
could be an animal wandering out there.
“Stay
here.” He whispers. I pull my knees to my chest and wrap my arms
around them and rock. I’m scared. Ryan creeps to the front window and
stands out of view while peering out into the darkness.
“Fuck!!
Someone’s out there!”
“Ryan!
Are you shitting me? You’re scaring me!” He runs over to me and scoops me
up. He carries me to the bedroom and sets me on the floor of the closet.
He rustles through his bag and pulls out the gun. He cocks it and pulls
my shaking hands round it. “Shoot whoever opens the door! You hear
me?”
“Ryan,
I’m scared!”
“You’ll
be okay. Stay here. No matter what. Stay here. Shoot if
this door opens. I will let you know if it’s me. Okay? You
got it?”
“Yes.”
I whisper shakily.
He
closes the door quietly and turns off the lights. I’m in utter
blackness. Tears are falling down my cheeks and my hands are shaking like
crazy. I’m huddled in the corner with my knees to my chest and my arms
stretched out in front of me pointing the gun at the door.
I
hear the front door open and close. It’s quiet for a really long time and
I start to lose it. I can hardly breathe, my chest is so tight.
After
a very long period of complete silence, I hear the front door and feet pounding
towards me on the hardwood. Oh God. I squeeze my eyes closed and
pray it’s Ryan.
“Ness?
Baby, it’s me. Put the gun down okay?”
“Okay.”
I squeak. I lay the gun down and he opens the door slowly.
“What
happened?” I jump up and lunge into his arms.
“Someone
was out there. Fuck! I saw someone out there. They ran.
I tried to run after them. They had a car parked down the dirt road and
they drove off.”
“Oh
my God.”
“They
know we have a gun, hopefully they won’t risk coming back here.” He holds
onto me as I cry.
That
night, we cuddle close and Ryan never lets go of the gun. As I drift off
to sleep, I realize he risked his own life to give me that gun today. I
could have turned on him and forced him to take me home or turn himself
in. He put my safety above his own to protect me.
***
I
wake early Saturday morning. I don’t think I’ve slept all night.
Ryan is holding me in his arms. I don’t want to leave him, but today, I
have a mission. I have to help him. I have to go see Kim.
“Ryan.”
I whisper.
“Hhmmm.”
He hums as he squeezes my body to his.
“I
have to get in the shower, I want to get to Perky’s early before it gets
busy. I need to talk to you before I leave.”
“Okay,
get in the shower. I’ll get us something to eat.”
I
take a quick shower and style my new hair. I put on some extra makeup and I
wear my new yoga pants and
Miss Me
shirt. It’s all I’ve got for now.
I
sit at the table with Ryan eating burnt waffles without syrup and sip on some
much needed coffee. We’re both really quiet and a little freaked out
about last night.
“Who
do you think it was?”
“I
have no fucking idea.” He says picking at his waffle.
“Do
you think it was the guy? The guy who committed those murders? Or the
police?”
“I
saw the car but it was dark. It didn’t look like a police car and why
would they run off? Whoever it was knows we’re here now. I really
don’t think you should leave alone.”
“I
have to and now more than ever. We have to clear your name and get out of
here. The only way to do this is to get to Kim.”
He’s
quiet for a really long time. I don’t know what’s going through his mind.
“I
know. I know. I just……fuck. I don’t like this. I don’t
know what’s going on.”
“Ryan,
I have to go. I’ll be okay. Listen, I don’t have any money. I
need more clothes. I thought I could pick some things up while I’m out
there.”
“Yeah.
I can give you cash.” He looks indifferent. As if he has turned off
all of his emotions. I know he’s scared to let me leave by myself,
especially after last night. I also think he still doesn’t completely
trust that I won’t run or go to the police. He looks so conflicted.
“Thanks.
Listen Ryan, I’ll be okay and I’m coming back okay? I promise.”
He
just nods his head. He looks like a nervous wreck. I stand up and
walk towards the door and he follows me with his hands in his pockets and his
head hanging. He’s wearing his same old raggedy jeans and plain black
t-shirt. He threw his skull cap over his messy hair and I would like
nothing more than to forget about all the drama outside the four walls of this
cabin and go back to bed with him. I want to run my fingers through his
hair and kiss him all over.
“You
know how to get there?”
“Yeah,
once I find my way back to route 50, I should be able to find it. I think
I’ll be okay.”
“Just
take the dirt road until it ends. Make a right and the next intersection
you come to will be route 50. Make a left. You drive for just a few
miles until you get to Gunnison. Follow the signs for Western and you’ll
actually pass Perky’s on the way. There are stores around there too, for
clothes. Here’s $100. Be careful.”
“I
will. I’ll try to be back in a couple of hours. I can’t call you
but please don’t worry if I’m late. I will be back.” I wrap my arms
around his neck and hug him tightly. It takes a minute, but he finally
squeezes me back and holds me for a very long time. I can feel his heart
beating fast against my chest. He finally pulls away from me but he can’t
seem to look at me. I walk out of the cabin and climb into the family truckster
as Ryan stands on the porch watching me drive away.
I
find my way easily to Route 50 and to Gunnison. I’m driving slowly,
looking for Perky’s when I finally spot it. I pull in and park. I
start to shake nervously. I don’t really have a plan. I just want
her to tell me about that night. I’m hoping to pick up on a detail that
may help us figure out why she thinks Ryan attacked her. I take a deep
breath. I wish I had a fucking way to communicate with Ryan. He’s
probably going nuts wondering if I’m turning him into the police right
now. It actually hurts my heart that he thinks I would do that to him.
I
walk into the small shop as the bell rings above the door. It’s only 6:30
in the morning and its winter break. College kids aren’t up yet so the
place is empty. I walk up to the counter and wait for someone. Finally, a
skinny long-haired boy wanders out of the backroom to take my order.
“What can I get ya?”
“Um,
a medium vanilla latte, please.”
“Sure,
$4.32.” I dig out a twenty from the money Ryan gave me and I hand it to
him. My hands are shaking like crazy. He hands me change and I wait
at the end of the counter. I don’t see anyone else in here. Maybe she
didn’t come back to school. Maybe she just has the day off. Shit!
What if I can’t find Kim? What are we going to do? I start to
panic.
“Latte!”
The boy yells, setting my drink down. “Must be yours, hey?” He says
amused with himself.
“Yep.
Um, do you know if Kim’s working today?”
“Yeah,
she’s scheduled to come in at 7.”
“Oh,
okay. Cool!” I’m somewhat relieved but still a jittery mess and the coffee is
making it worse. I grab a seat in front of the window and watch the
people getting started on their day. I tap my fingers nervously. I feel
like I’m dreaming. I’m dreaming that I’m in a murder mystery, trying to
solve the crime. I’m in my disguise, pretending to be someone else.
Shit! Who am I? I’ll be Lindsey. I like that name.
Lindsey Presley. No Lindsey Price. Yeah. I’m from Denver. I’m
majoring in Finance. Numbers are boring. She won’t ask too many
questions. As I’m developing my life story in my head, the door jingles.