The Definitive Book of Body Language (57 page)

Direct body pointing keeps things serious

When you position your body forty-five degrees away from the other person, you take the pressure off the interview. This is an excellent position from which to ask delicate or embarrassing questions, encouraging more open answers to your questions without them feeling as if they are being pressured.

The right forty-five degrees away position

Having read this far in the book, you should now be able to work out how to arrange an office to have as much power, influence, or control as you want or to make it as relaxed, friendly, and informal as you want. Here now is a case study showing how we rearranged someone's office to help solve some of his personal manager/employee relationship problems.

John worked for a large finance company. He had been promoted to a manager's position and given an office. After a few
months in the role, John found that the other employees disliked dealing with him and his relationship with them was often tense, particularly when they were in his office. He found it difficult to get them to follow his instructions and had heard they were talking about him behind his back. Our observations of John's dilemma revealed that the communication breakdowns were at their worst when the employees were in his office.

For the purposes of this exercise, we'll ignore any of John's management skills and concentrate on the nonverbal aspects of the problem. Here's a summary of our observations and conclusions about John's office setup:

1. The visitor's chair was placed in the Competitive Position in relation to John.
   

2. The walls of the office were solid panels except for an outside window and a clear glass partition where John could look into the general office area and be seen by the rest of the staff. His visibility reduced John's status and could increase the power of any subordinate who was sitting in the visitor's chair because the other employees were located directly behind the visitor and were, in effect, on the subordinate's side of the table.
   

3. John's desk had a solid front that hid his lower body and prevented the subordinates observing his lower gestures to evaluate how he felt.
   

4. The visitor's chair was placed so that the visitor's back was to the open door.
   

5. John often sat using the Catapult or Leg-Over-the-Arm-of-Chair gestures or both whenever a subordinate was in his office.
   

6. John had a swivel chair with a high back, armrests, and wheels. The visitor's chair was a plain low-backed chair with fixed legs and no armrests.
   

John's initial office layout

From a user-friendly, nonverbal standpoint, his office was a disaster area. It felt unfriendly to anyone who entered. The following rearrangements were made to help encourage John's management style to become more friendly:

1. John's desk was placed in front of the glass partition, making his office appear bigger and allowing him to be visible to those who entered. In this way, visitors were greeted by John personally, not by his desk.
   

2. The “hot seat” was placed in the Corner Position, making communication more open and allowing the corner to act as a partial barrier for staff who felt insecure.
   

3. The glass partition was coated with a mirror finish, allowing John to see out, but not permitting others to see in. This raised John's status by securing his territory and creating a more intimate atmosphere inside his office.
   

4. A low round table with three identical swivel chairs were placed at the other end of the office so informal meetings could take place.
   

5. In the original layout, John's desk could give half the desktop space to the visitor but the revised layout gave John back the entire desktop.
   

6. John practiced sitting in open positions, used subtle Steeple gestures, and consciously used his palms whenever he spoke with others.
   

Revised office layout

The results? Significantly improved manager/staff relationships and some staff began describing John as “easygoing” and as a relaxed person to work with.

All that is needed to raise your status, and increase your power and effectiveness with others, is a little thought given to nonverbal gymnastics in your office or home. Unfortunately, most executive offices are arranged as John's was initially set out, because offices are designed by office designers, not by those who understand interaction between people. Rarely is
consideration given to the negative nonverbal signals that can be unwittingly communicated to others.

Study your own workplace layout and use the preceding information to make the positive changes needed.

The thing about power plays and office politics is that you can anticipate them and even plan your own in advance. Adam never knew that, in Western cultures, men wearing chocolate-colored suits turn women off, or that a goatee beard, while it may be a fashion statement, subconsciously repels older people because of its association with Satan. And the earring and the overstuffed briefcase … well, these items are taken to interviews by the nonverbally uninformed.

When you look quickly at this image, you'll see an elephant. It's only when you examine it closely that you see that things are not what they appear to be. When most people look at others they see the person, but they miss revealing details that are obvious when pointed out. And so it is with body language. Communication through body language has been going on for over a million years but has only been scientifically studied to any extent since the end of the twentieth century. Body language is finally being “discovered” by people throughout the world and is now a part of formal education and business training everywhere.

This final chapter is devoted to social and business scenarios and will give you the opportunity to see how well you can now read body signals. Before you read the notes, however, study each picture sequence and see how many body-language signals you can see from what you've read in this book. Score one point for every major signal you can spot and you will receive an overall rating assessment at the end. You will be amazed to find how much your “perceptiveness” has improved. Keep in mind that while we are analyzing frozen gestures here, it all
needs to be read in clusters of gestures, in context, and with allowance for cultural differences.

Answers
………………………………………………………………………

This is a good example of an openness cluster. The palms are fully exposed in the submissive position and the fingers are spread to give more impact to the gesture and to signal nonaggressiveness. His entire body is open, showing that nothing is being concealed. This man is communicating an open, non-threatening attitude.

Answers
………………………………………………………………………

This is a classic deceit cluster. As he rubs his eye he looks away and both eyebrows are raised to the disbelief position. His head is turned away and slightly down, showing a negative attitude. He also has an insincere, tight-lipped smile.

Answers
………………………………………………………………………