The Definitive Book of Body Language (56 page)

Scientists proved the “fake it till you make it” concept using tests on birds. In many bird species, the more dominant a bird is, the darker its plumage will be. Darker-colored birds are first in line for food and mates. Researchers took a number of lighter, weaker birds and dyed their plumage dark so that these birds would be “lying” to the other birds that they were dominant. But the result was that the “liar” birds were attacked by the
real
dominant birds because the “liars” were still displaying weak and submissive body language. In the next tests the weaker birds, both male and female, were not only dyed but also injected with testosterone hormones to make them act dominantly This time the “liars” succeeded as they began
strutting around acting in confident, superior ways, which completely fooled the real dominant birds. This demonstrates that you need to cast yourself into a believable role in an interview and mentally practice in advance how you will behave if you want others to take you seriously.

Conduct all short-term decision-making meetings standing up. Studies show that standing conversations are significantly shorter than sitting ones and the person who conducts a standing meeting is perceived as having higher status than those who sit. Standing whenever others enter your workspace is also an excellent time saver, so consider having no visitors' chairs in your own work area. Standing decisions are quick and to the point and others don't waste your time with social chatter or questions such as “How's the family?”

As discussed, studies reveal that when our backs are toward an open space we become stressed, blood pressure increases, our heart beats faster, our brainwave output increases, and we breathe more quickly as our body readies itself for a possible rear attack. This is an excellent position in which to place your opponents.

People who keep their fingers closed when they talk with their hands and keep their hands below chin level command the most attention. Using open fingers or having your hands held above the chin is perceived as less powerful.

When you sit on a chair, keep your elbows out or on the arms of
the chair. Submissive, timid individuals keep their elbows in to protect themselves and are perceived as fearful.

A study at the University of California showed that the most persuasive words in spoken language are:
discovery, guarantee, love, proven, results, save, easy, health, money, new, safety
, and
you.
Practice using these words. The new results you'll get from the discovery of these proven words will guarantee you more love, better health, and will save you money. And they're completely safe and easy to use.

A slim briefcase with a combination lock is carried by an important person who is concerned only with the bottom-line details; large, bulky briefcases are carried by those who do all the work and are perceived as not being sufficiently organized to get things done on time.

Analysis of videotaped confrontations, for example, between unions and corporations, show a higher frequency of agreement is reached when people have their coats unbuttoned. People who cross their arms on their chest often do it with their jacket buttoned and are more negative. When a person suddenly unbuttons their jacket in a meeting, you can reasonably assume that they have also just opened their mind.

Before you go to an important interview or meeting, sit quietly for five minutes and mentally practice seeing yourself doing these things and doing them well. When your mind sees them clearly, your body will be able to carry them out and others will react accordingly.

Have you ever been for a job interview and felt overwhelmed or helpless when you sat in the visitor's chair? Where the interviewer seemed so big and overwhelming and you felt small and insignificant? It is likely that the interviewer had cunningly arranged his office furnishings to raise his own status and power and, in so doing, lower yours. Certain strategies using chairs and seating arrangements can create this atmosphere in an office.

There are three factors in raising perceived status and power using chairs: the size of the chair and its accessories, the height of the chair from the floor, and the location of the chair relative to the other person.

The height of the back of the chair raises or lowers a person's status. The higher the back of the chair, the more power and status the person sitting in it is perceived to have. Kings, queens, popes, and other high-status people may have the back of their throne or official chair as high as eight feet or more to show their status relative to everyone else; the senior executive has a high-backed leather chair and his visitor's chair has a low back. How much power would the queen or the Pope have if they were always sitting on a small piano stool?

Swivel chairs have more power and status than fixed chairs, allowing the user freedom of movement when he is placed under pressure. Fixed chairs allow little or no movement and this lack of movement is compensated for by the sitter's use of body gestures that reveal their attitudes and feelings. Chairs with armrests, those that lean back, and those that have wheels have more power.

The acquisition of power using height was covered in Chapter 16 but it is worth noting that status is gained if your chair is adjusted higher off the floor than the other person's. Some
advertising executives are known for sitting on high-backed chairs that are adjusted for maximum height while their visitors sit opposite, in the defensive position, on a sofa or chair that is so low that their eyes are level with the executive's desk.

As mentioned in the chapter on seating arrangements, most power is exerted on a visitor when his chair is placed directly opposite in the Competitive Position. A common power play is to place the visitor's chair as far away as possible from the executive's desk into the social or public territory zone, which further reduces the visitor's status.

When two people sit directly opposite each other across a table, they unconsciously divide it into two equal territories. Each claims half as his own territory and will reject the other encroaching upon it.

There will be occasions, however, when it may be difficult or inappropriate to take the corner position to present your case. Let's assume that you have a folder, book, quotation, or sample to present to another person who is sitting behind a rectangular desk and your objective is to get into the best position for presenting. First, place the article on the table and he'll either lean forward and look at it, take it over to his side, or push it back into your territory.

Paper placed on territorial line

If he leans forward to look at it but doesn't pick it up, you're compelled to deliver your presentation from where you sit because he doesn't want you on his side of the desk. If this happens, angle your body away at forty-five degrees to present your case. If he takes it onto his side, however, this gives you the opportunity to ask permission to enter his territory and take either the Corner or Cooperative Position.

Taking paper into his territory signals nonverbal acceptance

Nonverbal agreement to enter his space

If, however, he pushes it back toward you, stay on your side. Never encroach on the other person's territory unless you have been given verbal or nonverbal permission to do so or you will put them offside.

Take the following situation: you're a supervisor and are about to counsel a subordinate whose work performance is not up to scratch. You feel that you will need to use direct questions that require direct answers and this may put the subordinate under pressure. At times you will also need to show the subordinate
compassion and, from time to time, that you agree with his thoughts or actions.

Leaving aside interview and questioning techniques for these illustrations, consider the following points: (1) The counseling session will be in your office; (2) The subordinate will be seated on a chair with fixed legs and no arms, one that causes him to use body gestures and postures that will give you an understanding of his attitudes; and (3) You'll be sitting on a swivel chair that has arms, letting you eliminate some of your own gestures and allowing you to move around.

There are three main angle positions you can use. As with the standing triangular position, sitting at forty-five degrees gives an informal, relaxed attitude to the meeting and is a good opening position for a counseling session.

Opening a session using a forty-five-degree angle keeps things relaxed

You can show nonverbal agreement with the subordinate from this position by mirroring his movements and gestures. As in the open standing position, your bodies point to a third point to form a triangle, which can show agreement.

By turning your chair to point your body directly at someone, you nonverbally tell them that you want direct answers to your direct questions.