Seer: Thrall (19 page)

"You are mine."

I grimaced at that.

"A discussion, Sidney," she added. "We have to discuss it."

"All right. Fine. It's also related to forgiveness."

"Yes," she agreed. "My blood and your addiction, and the resulting moods."

"Yeah. I see why these are all related," I agreed. I straightened a little. "Speaking of that..." I hurt enough that I knew her blood would help.

"You don't need it, Sidney. You could heal normally just like anyone else would after a ride like that."

"You're cutting me off?" I asked.

"No. We're going to discuss it together. As equals."

"Equals?"

"Partners."

"We're not partners."

"We are of a sort."

I sighed. "Fine. Last topic?"

"You want us to go after the more brutal vampires."

"We're discussing that as equals, too?"

"Perhaps not as equals, but I didn't come here to tell you 'no', either."

I nodded. "All right," I agreed. "What first."

"Forgiveness," she said. "To begin, let's talk about Aubree. She doesn't deserve your hate."

"I don't hate her," I said quietly. "I was lashing out because I felt rejected. It's not like I'm going to start up a relationship with another human. I'm not bringing someone else into this mess." I sighed again. "I suppose that wouldn't go over very well, either."

"How would you feel if I started dating, Sidney?" Solange asked.

I closed my eyes and turned my head away. She let me decide. "I'd be pissed. Damn it." I didn't want to care about her, but I couldn't help it. I cared. I turned back and looked at her. "But that doesn't mean we're a couple."

"Let's stick to forgiveness, then," Solange said. "Aubree advises me. But in the end, she does what I tell her to do."

"I'm hers, Sidney," Aubree said. "I have been for nearly a hundred years."

I cocked my head again. "I had a dream where you wore..."

"A maid's outfit?" she asked.

"I'm sorry. Solange said you don't like to be reminded."

"It's who I was," she said.

"It looked like it was straight from Downton Abbey."

"That sounds about right," Aubree admitted. "The first season of Downton Abbey is set before the war."

"Aubree is not to blame for what happened to you, Sidney," Solange said. "That is between you and me."

"I didn't hear her arguing with you. I remember the words: We'll hold you down."

"I don't argue with Solange in front of others," Aubree replied. "As angry as she was, I made sure she didn't do any permanent damage, and that was the most I could accomplish."

I was starting to get angry. "This is not a good topic." I climbed to my feet and began pacing, then I turned to her. "You threatened to hold me down so she could do that to me." Thinking about it made me angrier, and I began to hyperventilate. "God damn it. You don't think I have cause to be angry? Are you insane? You clearly don't have an empathic bone in your body if you believe that. But what should I expect from a couple of vampires." I spat the last words at them. I headed for the door, but Solange got there first.

"Sidney," she said. "Calm down. You need to calm down."

"Don't tell me what to do!" I yelled.

"You don't understand," Solange replied. "She couldn't have changed the outcome."

"She helped you!" I screamed. "Change the outcome? She helped you!"

"If she hadn't been there, it would have been worse, Sidney! If she hadn't been there, it would have been so much worse. You'd still be there. You're here screaming at me because of the choices Aubree made."

I stared at her.

"I felt so betrayed, Sidney," Solange said. "All I saw was betrayal, and I was literally seeing red because of it. I was so amazingly angry. All I could think about was making you pay for betraying me."

"I wasn't betraying you!"

"Don't be a hypocrite," she replied. "You're angry at Aubree for a lack of empathy. How about showing a little for my position? Was my emotional reaction unreasonable, given the evidence?"

I turned away, storming for the other door, but there was a whoosh, and Solange stood in front of me.

"Well?" she asked. "Was betrayal a reasonable assumption?"

I glared at her. "Get out of my way."

"Answer me. Was it?"

"Yes, but it wasn't betrayal."

"I was blinded by anger. Aubree convinced you to cooperate. Your cooperation took some of my anger, and I was able to take your fear instead of adding to it. I was able to hear the words you told me, although it took some time before I believed them. If she hadn't secured your cooperation, I would have seen you fighting me, and that would have been my last memory of you. You would still be there. You would remain there until you died, and I would have let it last a long, long time."

"She should have tried to get you to calm down."

I heard Aubree moving closer, and from five feet away she said, "Sidney, if I had shown you the slightest sympathy, Solange would have believed I was on your side and would have considered it betrayal as well. She wouldn't have listened to a thing I said after that. I would have had absolutely no influence later, once she calmed down. I knew she would calm down, but it would take time. So I waited. By helping her then, she was willing to listen to me later."

"She's known me for a hundred years, Sidney. She did the best she could to save you."

I looked back and forth from Solange to Aubree, back and forth. They didn't crowd me. They didn't rush me. They let me decide.

"Fine," I said. "I understand intellectually. It might take me some time to absorb it emotionally."

"Before you put caveats on that," Solange said, sneaking in before I could continue, "I think you should hear what else we have to say."

"I want to wash off the chlorine and be dressed a little less revealingly," I said. "And I need to eat."

"Did you want to eat in or out?"

"If we eat out, I can't make a scene," I observed.

"Which is why I suggested it." She smiled to indicate she was teasing.

"I'm not cooking," I said. "Plan accordingly."

"Do you mind going out?" she asked.

"No. I'll dress for it." If we were going out, I wanted her to take me somewhere nice, and I knew Solange didn't like cheap restaurants. "I need forty minutes."

* * * *

I stared at my clothes. "Why do I care what I'm wearing?" I asked. I didn't have an answer. I looked down at my body. I didn't have a model's body. Face it; I was forty-six, and I'd never had a model's body. But I was in better physical condition than when I'd met Solange, and I hadn't been half bad then.

"If you've got it, flaunt it," I decided. "And let her drool if she wants."

I picked a maroon sheath dress and a pair of low pumps. I added a necklace and, in deference to the season, a pashmina. I eyed myself in the mirror.

My hair had been getting long, but it looked really good. It was rich and full, and I stared at it. I hadn't noticed it. My hair had never looked this good.

"Damned V beauty treatment," I decided. I ran my fingers through my hair. "I bet she's just dying for me to forgive her so she can have all this." I gestured to myself. "But damn, I look good. For forty-six, anyway."

I made my way downstairs and to the library. Neither Solange nor Aubree were there, but I was sure they'd find me. I grabbed a book.

It was ten minutes later before Solange arrived. She was in a grey pant suit with a white blouse, and I stared at her as she stood in the doorway.

She smiled. "You look nice."

I stood. "Thank you. So do you."

"Aubree is picking us up. Are you ready?"

"Where are we going?"

"Gambol's," she replied.

"Daring choice," I said. That's where we were supposed to go the day she'd caught me breaking into her secret facility.

"Risk is my middle name. Are you all right?"

"I don't know." I paused. "May I have a taste before we go?"

"If you ask again, yes," she said. "Do you need it?"

"That was a long ride," I said. I looked away. "I want one. I don't need one." I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. "Not a single split end, and it's never felt like this."

"It looks nice."

"It's the V, isn't it?"

"V?"

"Yes. Vampire blood. We talked about this at least once."

"Oh, right." She smiled again. "Yes, it's the V." Then she looked at my chest. "Those look perkier than ever, too."

"Shut up," I replied. I gestured to myself. "Is this why you've been giving it to me? So I'll look like this? Your little trophy?"

"No, Sidney. I gave it to you at first to help you heal, so that we could do what we did today. I've continued to give it to you because I believed doing so would help you work through the trauma of what you went through."

"And because it would keep me complacent?"

"And because it would help you build some distance." She paused, then gestured. "This is a small compensation. You look really good, Sidney."

"I'm in the best physical condition I've ever been in. At forty-six, I'm in better shape than I was in my twenties. But in my twenties, I was kind of pudgy. I was even a tiny bit pudgy when we met. I'm not anymore." I paused. "But I ache." It was more than an ache. I sighed. "I'll make it through dinner."

She smiled and gestured. I stepped past her, heading for the front door. I think she wanted to take my arm, but I breezed past her and didn't offer.

Aubree was just pulling up as we stepped out. I turned a little passive-aggressive and took the front seat, leaving the back to Solange. If it bothered her, she didn't let it show.

They made small talk during the drive. It felt forced, and I avoided the attempts to draw me into their conversation. Finally it grew still, and I stared out the window, watching the world go by.

"Sidney," said Solange. "I once promised you something."

"You've promised me a number of things," I said. "Was there something in particularly you were thinking about."

"Alcohol at dinner."

I thought about it. "Can you even get drunk?"

"Not by drinking alcohol," she replied. "However, if you drink, and then I drink from you..."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. I don't get drunk from it, but I can feel it."

"Have what you want," I replied. "But in front of my friends, the old rule applies so I don't have to explain why I am relaxing it for you."

"Fair enough," she replied.

"I feel stupid now, telling a vampire she couldn't have wine with dinner."

"Don't feel stupid," she said. "I thought it was endearing."

"Not me," Aubree said. "I found it damned funny that she gave in to you."

We lapsed back into silence. Five minutes later, we were following the hostess to our table. Partway through the restaurant, Aubree edged me to the side, stopping me. I'm not sure Solange noticed.

"What?" I asked Aubree.

"I want you to offer her an olive branch, a gesture of good will."

"Why?"

"Because ultimately we all want the same things, and it's going to take work from both of you."

"Are you sure of that?"

"Yes, Sidney. I am. You know how she is about meals."

"She likes to share."

Aubree nodded. I glanced towards Solange, now being seated at a corner table, isolated from the others. She was watching Aubree and me, and I detected a raised eyebrow.

"Was this her idea?"

"No." Aubree glanced over her shoulder then turned back to me. "She'll probably figure it out, but it doesn't matter that it's my idea. It matters that you offer."

"A gesture of good will," I said, echoing her phrase.

"Yes."

I nodded. "Fine." It was said gently. "But I want to ask you a question."

"All right, but is this the right venue?"

"Are we here so I won't make a scene?"

"She's wining and dining you, Sidney. That's all. You'll have to keep your voice down, but if the conversation is going to go poorly, then we'll table it until we're home."

"All right. Thank you for answering."

"Of course." She gestured with her head, and I preceded her to the table, taking a place to Solange's left. Aubree took the place across from me.

As soon as the hostess was gone, but before the waitress could appear, I turned to Solange. "You may drink if you want to, but I believe I should keep a clear head."

She nodded. "That's a good point."

I picked up the menu and spent a minute looking at it. The waitress stepped up to our table, explained the specials, and took drink orders. The vampires followed my lead, and no one had wine. Once the waitress was gone, I set the menu aside and asked, "Are we sharing tonight?"