Seer: Thrall (23 page)

I stamped my foot petulantly, but my own reaction made me angry, and I didn't even know where it was coming from.

"It would be easier if I bit you," Solange said. "Wouldn't it? It would be easier if I bound you, if I took your will, if I made the decisions for you. If I didn't give you a choice. But I'm giving you a choice, a choice you want to take, but you're afraid."

"I'm not afraid!"

"You certainly are," she replied. "You're afraid of depending upon me. You're afraid I won't respect you. You're afraid you won't respect yourself. You're afraid you'll become used to all this-" she gestured around, and I knew she meant the affluence her home represented. "And then you're afraid either that I'll yank it away or hold it over you."

She was right about all of it. In response, I glared at her.

"Sidney," she said, "I can bite you. We can take the easy path. I can bind you. That would be more of the easy path. Ask Aubree what it's like. Go on. Ask her."

"Fine." I turned back to Aubree and raised an eyebrow.

She smiled. "It was amazing," she said. "I couldn't get enough of her. I couldn't keep my hands off of her. I know you're afraid you would be brainless. It wasn't like that. But everything I wanted centered on her. I was insanely happy every moment of every day for four years."

"Literally?"

"Literally."

"What happened?"

"I had an accident," she said. "I fell from a horse. I broke my neck."

"I gave her choices," Solange said. "I couldn't heal it. I told her I'd take care of her for the rest of her days. Or I could help her die, and she would die in the most bliss I could give her. Or I could turn her. She would heal afterwards. I couldn't have done it if we hadn't been sharing blood for so long. I could have turned her, but she wouldn't have been able to heal the fractured nerves."

I felt tears crawl into my eyes.

"But you had to give up the bond," I said.

"Yes," Aubree admitted. "And she explained that. She explained everything. It was the hardest decision of my life." She paused. "I do not believe asking her to bind you is the right choice for you, Sidney. It was for me, but I was a simple maid, and that was as lofty of goals as I possibly had. I didn't even covet the head housekeeper duties, much less anything else."

"You would be happy," Solange said. "But she's right. You are not one for taking the easy choices. And so I am offering more difficult ones."

I turned away again. "Can you hold me without seducing me?"

In answer, Solange stepped up behind me and rested her hands on my shoulders. "Probably not more closely than this," she said. I knew her fangs were still out. I reached up and put a hand on one of hers then stood there, staring out the window.

"Solange," I said finally, turning around to face her. "Subject to the things we have discussed, I agree to consider myself a member of this household. I accept your authority regarding the running of the household and any actions we take in the war."

She began to smile. It looked odd around the fangs.

"I will consider myself as yours, your human, your seer. I do not wish a reverse promise at this time, but I damned well better receive one if we ever again become lovers. I will not pursue other romantic relationships, but you damned well better not, either."

Her smile broadened.

"My blood is yours, but you will ask, not just take, and you will not take more than is healthy for me. Your blood is mine subject to the same agreement. As for the rest of my body, it is mine, and you will respect that."

"I will," she agreed.

"This agreement may be rescinded if it becomes evident the differences between us are irreconcilable. That is my share of 'non-negotiable'. Furthermore, I am not your servant, and you will not treat me like one."

"Your loyalty is permanent, Sidney."

"Yes, but if it becomes evident we can not reconcile our differences, I want to be free to pursue another relationship. And I would want you to be free as well."

"Then this oath must last at least as long as our involvement in fighting the war, Sidney. Non-negotiable."

"All right," I said. "Agreed, if you agree with mine."

"I don't like it, and it will be difficult to let you go." She paused. "Agreed. Aubree, did you hear?" She looked over her shoulder towards the other vampire.

"I heard," Aubree replied. "And when I remind you, don't kill me for it."

Solange turned back to me. "I agree to your terms, Sidney. Do you agree to mine?"

"I am yours, Solange," I said. I lifted my neck. "You have permission to..." I paused.

"Don't say it, Sidney," she said. "This is a solemn moment."

I'd intended to say 'slurp'. Instead, I said, "Drink."

She didn't wait. I didn't resist as she pulled me into her arms. I lifted my chin, giving her access, but she bore me away to one of the sofas, lifting me and laying me in place. She knelt beside the sofa and began to lower her head, but I interrupted her.

"I want to be held. Can you hold me, Solange?"

She growled, but she nodded, and a moment later, I found myself cradled in her arms as she sat on the sofa and I sat across it. I looked up into her eyes, and they were a little wild. She lifted a hand and caressed my neck.

"Are you sure?" she asked huskily. "Sidney, if you're not sure, you have to tell me."

I lifted my chin again then raised a hand to the back of her head and pulled her down. She didn't resist, and I pulled her mouth to my neck, angling myself. She adjusted me.

"May I go slowly?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Sidney, it's going to feel like love-making."

"I know."

She nuzzled and then licked my neck. I closed my eyes and clutched at her. I heard a noise, and I realized it was coming from Solange. It wasn't quite a purr, but it was close. It was soothing.

She scratched me with her fangs, not biting, but just a scratch, and then she licked. The scratch stung, but her tongue was cool and soothing. I tightened my hold on her, and in response, her arms also tightened around me, holding me strongly.

A vampire was about to bite my neck, but somehow I felt safe and protected. I should have been screaming in terror, but instead I was filled with anticipation.

She scratched again, deeper. I flinched from it, but then her tongue was bathing the scratch.

"Too slowly?" she asked. "I'm sorry that hurts."

"It's fine, Solange," I replied quietly.

She did it another half dozen times, each a little deeper. They hurt, and by the end, I hissed as she scratched me, but then she bathed my neck with her tongue and that felt amazingly good. "I'm okay," I told her. "I'm okay."

Finally I felt her open her mouth widely. Then there was a deep, sharp pain as she thrust her fangs into me. I gasped. It hurt a great, great deal. She froze like that, her fangs buried in my neck, and then slowly it began to feel good.

She sucked, and I gasped a new gasp, this one of pleasure. "Ohhh..."

She sucked again, and I knew my knuckles were white from clutching her so tightly. I tried pressing myself more firmly against her mouth, but she growled a little, and so I stilled, accepting her control.

She sucked slowly after that, and I became filled with bliss. My thoughts began to float free, with only one coherent thought: God, it felt amazing. I'm sure I moaned.

She worked her mouth, diving the fangs deeper, but this time it felt so amazing, so right.

So right for her to feed from my neck.

"Solange..." I whispered.

I heard Aubree's chair squeak, and then she was kneeling beside us.

"Sidney, can you hear me?" she asked.

"Yes," I managed to whisper.

"Tell her that you are hers. Mean it. Believe it. It is important to both of you. Trust me."

I considered her words. I thought about how amazing this felt. I thought about how I felt about Solange.

"Yours," I said. "Solange, I am yours."

And I meant every word.

Solange responded by sucking strongly, drawing heavily on my neck, and I was filled with the deepest of pleasure.

"Oh God!" I said. "Oh my god!"

"Tell her again, Sidney," Aubree said. "Keep telling her."

"Yours, Solange," I said. "Yours... yours... yours..."

And with each telling, she drew heavily, and with each telling, waves of pleasure filled me, pleasure I never wanted to end.

My body tightened, shuddering, and I had an orgasm. A few seconds later, there was a second, then a third. The pleasures from them mixed with the pleasures from Solange's bite, and all I could do was moan incoherently.

* * * *

I had no thoughts for a long time after that.

I came back to the world slowly. I could taste Solange in my mouth, and I knew she'd given me some of her blood.

I was high from everything, and it took a long time before I opened my eyes.

I looked up at Solange. I was still cradled in her arms. She was smiling down at me.

"There you are," she said softly.

"How long?"

"Two hours, or thereabouts."

I smacked my mouth a little. "I didn't know you were going to give me blood."

"You needed it," she said. "It was a big day today, and we agreed you need to be healthy. You should feel very good."

"I do," I admitted. I snuggled against her. "It's hard to be angry with you right now."

She chuckled. "I imagine."

"Show some humility."

She chuckled again but didn't answer.

I looked away, searching the room for Aubree. "She left?"

"An hour ago."

"You could have put me to bed."

"You said I'm not allowed to hold you in your bed. You didn't say anything about the sofa."

I looked back up at her. "Is that why?"

"I wanted to let you bask. And, well, I wanted to do my own basking. But I've been blowing in your ear for ten minutes, waiting for you to come back to earth."

I smiled. "Will it always be like that?"

"I drank heavily, far more heavily than would be safe very often. So no, not exactly like that, but yes, very much like that. I can take just a sample but do it slowly."

I closed my eyes. "I can sort of... feel you, I think."

"Yes, probably," she replied. "At least for a few hours, our moods will be attuned."

I lay there for a while before asking, "Now what?"

"Now I help tuck you into bed."

"And tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow we plan. Tomorrow night, you dream."

"No dreams tonight?"

"Only normal ones."

* * * *

She was wrong.

It was a short dream, and it could almost have been a memory. I was myself, and the view was familiar. I was looking out through confining plastic. Solange and Aubree were both looking at me as I hung there, helpless, the tubes attached, the machines breathing for me and taking care of my other needs.

Aubree was speaking. "You should have taken her down weeks ago, Solange."

"She betrayed me."

"You don't know that. She begged to talk to you. I, for one, believe it would have been an intriguing conversation. Aren't you curious?"

"No."

"Don't you miss her?"

"No."

"Don't you love her?"

"No."

"Liar. The longer you leave her there, the worse it's going to be."

Solange didn't respond.

"Well?"

"She'll never forgive me."

"Maybe not."

"She'll run the first chance she gets."

"She might."

"If I leave her here, at least I know where she is. At least she's still mine."

"That's a shitty attitude," Aubree said. "If you love her, set her free."

"Don't spout aphorisms at me."

"Let her down, Solange. Nurse her back to health. Beg her forgiveness."

"I couldn't stand it if she ran, Aubree."

"So you're going to keep her like this?" Aubree gestured to me. "Do not tell me that's why she's still stuck here. Let her down, Solange."

Solange nodded, just once, and the dream ended.

The room was bright with morning sunlight when I woke. I was alone, but I felt good. I felt really good.

I smiled, stretched, and smiled again.

I rolled over and found my phone. I texted Aubree. "Thank you, and I'm sorry." I sent a second text. "Dreamed about a conversation you had with Solange."

"You're welcome," came across a few minutes later.

I sent another text to Solange. "I had a dream. Let me know where to find you."

I headed for the shower.

Three minutes later, Solange was standing in my bathroom. "I would prefer you share your dreams right away, Sidney."

"And I would prefer you knock," I said. "It was about you and Aubree. It wasn't critical you know about it, seeing as how you were half the conversation."

"I decide what's critical."

"We'll discuss it when I'm dressed," I said. "Get out."

"There's no discussion."

"Perfect," I said. "Get out."

"Sidney, I mean it."

"So do I. Get out. I'll find you when I'm dressed."

"Fine." She didn't slam the door, at least not quite.

I sighed and hurried my shower.

Twenty minutes later we were on stools on opposite sides of the island in the kitchen. She'd made coffee for me, which was kind of her. Neither of us had said anything yet.

"I didn't hide it from you," I said finally. "But I was so tired. I didn't want to climb out of bed to tell you about a conversation you had with Aubree. It's nothing that couldn't wait until morning."

"Tell me about the dream."

So I did. "I presume you're familiar with the conversation," I said at the end.

"Yes. I'm not sure you get to complain about your privacy when you're snooping on mine." It was said lightly, and so I didn't take offense.

"You had the conversation in front of me," I said. "I was right there. It's hardly snooping to listen if you're not making an effort at privacy." I could joke, too. I paused. "I sent Aubree a note thanking her."

She nodded.

"As for the future-"

"You will respect my privacy," I said, interrupting her. "I don't pick my dreams, so don't even think of using that as an excuse to waltz right in."

She paused, then nodded. "But-"

"And you will trust my judgment. If there is any chance at all you need to know right away, I will do my best to tell you immediately. There is no way you can argue that you needed me to tell you about that dream the instant I had it."

I lifted my cup of coffee and sipped at it, waiting for her response.

"I would prefer you tell me right away, Sidney. Please."

"Why? What would it have mattered?"

"I am a vampire."

"I believe this has been established."

"Trust is not easy for me."

"You don't trust me?"

"You're right about something. I didn't need to know about this dream except for one thing."

I sighed. "If I always tell you about them, the minute they happen, there won't be a part of you wondering if I'm holding back."

"Yes."

"All right," I said. "Fine."

"Thank you."

I drank down more of my coffee. "What's the plan for today?"

"After breakfast, I'm giving you your laptop back."

"Really?"

"You have catching up to do. I would like to hear what your plan is for getting back to work."

"I-" I didn't have a plan. I'd spent all my effort on convincing Solange to allow it.

"Do you want advice?"

"I'd listen," I said cautiously.

"Do a sample of the latest technology. For a week or so, spend a few hours a day teaching yourself what's important. Then call Ed Frank and ask him if you can go see him. Tell him the truth more or less. Ask his help getting back into the swing of things."

I thought about it. "I don't want my clients to see that I've slipped."

"Ed wouldn't hold it against you."

"He would always wonder."

"All right. Tell him you want to ease back into work and can only work part time to start. Offer a good bill rate for some low stress work that you can do by telecommute. He'd do anything for you, Sidney."

I sighed. "You don't have anything for me?"

"I'm sorry. I could give you busy work, if you just want to get back into the swing. I can feed you work once you're in the swing, but I think we're agreed you need something low key to get started. Or we could talk about starting our own firm together."

I shook my head. "That's too soon. All right," I said. "I'll take the first half of your advice. I'll spend a week or two puttering."

"Good. It's Friday. Did you want to invite anyone for cards tonight?"

"Yes," I said. "I would. Did you already invite Aubree?"

"Nope. I didn't know what you wanted."

I pulled out my phone and texted Dolores. "Busy tonight? Cards at our place?" I sent the same message to Aubree.

"Cooking?" Dolores wrote back.

"I'll be there," Aubree said. "Usual time?"

"Something simple," I sent to Dolores. "Come between five and six." To Aubree, I just sent, "Yes." I dictated my messages out loud as I sent all of them so Solange knew the plan as well.

"Do I have driving privileges?"

"I would rather you wait another day or so. We both drank heavily last night."

"I need supplies for dinner."

"I'll take you. I would like to work for a few hours myself. What would you like to do?"

"Whatever fits your schedule, Solange."

"Tell me what you want, Sidney."

"A little time apart, I think. Could we go at three?"

"Three it is. If you come to my room, I have your laptop there."

"Where is my equipment from home?"

"Do you want that instead?"

"I want it all. May I have it?"

"Of course. Did you want the room across from yours as an office? We can call that wing yours for now. I can have Thomas arrange to have it set up, but it might take a day or two. I have your furniture from home."

I smiled. "Thank you."

* * * *

It was weird to be online. I spent a couple of hours surfing the technology sites, learning about what was new. It gave me a headache, and I shoved my laptop aside far sooner than I had expected. I ate an early lunch, popped some ibuprofen, then went for a long, slow swim in the pool. I felt good after that. I showered and wondered if I dared put in more time on the computer. I decided an hour wouldn't hurt, but when I felt the headache returning, I decided a nap was in order.

* * * *

"Hello, you," Solange said gently, caressing my cheek. I opened my eyes, and she was sitting on the bed next to me.

"I thought you were going to give me my privacy."

"You weren't responding to your phone," she replied.

"You could have knocked."

"I did. I also said your name three times before touching you."

"Oh." I rolled onto my back and looked up at her. "I got a headache."

"I thought you would. Feeling better?"

I nodded. "Am I going cold turkey, or are we weaning me?"

"You aren't physically addicted," she said. "It is emotional. And so we haven't discussed it."

I sat up. I'd gone to bed in my clothes, which may have disappointed Solange.

"I want a taste," I told her.

"I know."

"Will you let me?"

"You haven't actually asked. You've expressed desire."

"You'll make me ask?"

"Not necessarily. You haven't told me how much help you want from me. You haven't told me whether you want me to let you drink daily. You know I won't let you go back to work if you do, but we didn't actually come to conclusions."

I looked down at her wrist, staring at it.

"You're making me decide."

"No. I'm letting you decide."

"I-" I looked up at her. "I don't know what to do."

"How does your body feel?"

"A little sore from yesterday," I admitted. That gave me hope. "A little blood would help."

"I'm sure it would. But you're perfectly capable of healing, and you'll feel great by tomorrow, with or without my blood. How is your headache?"

"It's fine," I said. I pouted. "I want some."

"I know, but you don't need some. You want some."

"Does that matter?" I asked.

"Perhaps not to me," she said. "But it probably would to you."

"If I weren't emotionally addicted."

"Yes. So? Cold turkey, or ease off? And do you want me to enforce our decision?"

"If you do, I'll resent you," I told her. "I don't think we need that between us." I paused. "Make me ask. That's what I want. Make me ask."

"Expressing desire is not asking."

"No," I said. "It's not." I paused, then I reached for her hand. She let me take it, and I caressed her wrist, then I pulled it to my lips and kissed, then released it. "I'm not asking, but if I turn bitchy, will you be able to handle it?"

"How do you want it handled?"

"Haul me upstairs and tell me to amend my mood or ask for your wrist."

"All right. Now, to be clear, I will not allow you to deal with customers for twenty-four hours after drinking my blood. Plan accordingly."

"You're even stricter than I am about alcohol."

She smiled. "I suppose I am."

I stared at her wrist. "This sucks."

"No. I think this doesn't suck, and you wish it did."

"Shut up," I said. I couldn't believe she had made a 'suck' joke after the hard time she'd given me for it in the past. "Let me use the bathroom then we can go to the store.

* * * *

Dinner was simple. I made pasta with a pesto sauce. We had bread from the store bakery, salad, and asparagus with a light dusting of lemon juice. It was simple but nummy.

Aubree and I partnered first. I played better than I had been, but not by much. I avoided being crabby, but I desperately wanted to whisk Solange away for a few minutes.

"You two must be doing better," Dolores said with a smile. "You can't take your eyes off of her."

"It's my hands she wants," Solange said. "I promised her a back rub at bedtime."

Dolores's smile grew. "So you are doing better!"

"Maybe," I said. "A back rub would be nice." I paused. "Dolores, how are things at work?"

She glanced at Solange, who nodded.

"They're okay," she said slowly.

"The truth, Dolores. I'm not quite ready. I need to get back into the swing of things. I think it's time for me to ease back into work. But maybe you're happy with the current arrangement."

"No!" she said. "Um. I mean. He's fine, but... Really? You're going back to work? That's fantastic! I hate to tell Devon I won't need him anymore. But if I have a choice, I want you."

"We're easing me off the medication," I said. "It makes me stupid, which is why I couldn't work. Solange won't let me drive, either, and she's right not to." I paused. "I am hoping there aren't any permanent ill effects, but we won't know for a little while."

"Oh no," Dolores said. "Really?"

"We expect her to be back to her old self," Solange said. "But the drugs are addicting."

"Oh honey," Dolores said. "I had no idea."

"They saved my life," I said, "And look at me. I think I look pretty good."

"You look fantastic!" she said. "Better than even before."

I waved at the score from our game. "As you can see, I'm still a little stupid, but it should get better over the next couple of weeks. I'll have to ease in. I'm going to do a little coding at home to start. But I got a headache after just a few hours this morning."

"You know, I have some work the I.T. department said they won't get to until next year. I couldn't pay your normal bill rate for it, but maybe..."

I smiled. "Let's talk about it next weekend, if I don't win the booby prize again."

"Everyone has a bad night," Solange said. "How about if you play well with the cards you're dealt."

"All right," I agreed.

* * * *

Later, we saw them both off. I was getting twitchy, and Solange knew it. I turned to her. "I don't think I can sleep. I can't stop thinking about it."

"I can make you sleep."

"I'll wake up a raving lunatic. I've been pushing down the bitchies." I closed my eyes, searching for strength written across the inner eyelids. I didn't find it waiting for me. "Were you serious about that backrub?"

"Yes, Sidney."

"Why are you being so nice to me? I've been a bitch to you."