Authors: Robin Roseau
"Solange," I whispered. My throat was dry, but I was sweaty. The bedding was sweaty. I was sure I stank from leftover fear.
"Solange," I said more loudly.
I sat up carefully. I was largely healed, but I still found myself dizzy and disoriented after waking. I'd learned caution.
I climbed from the bed, and after a few steps, began to hurry. I went out my room, moved down the hall, and seconds later was knocking at Solange's bedroom.
"Solange," I said firmly. "Solange!"
There was a whoosh, and then Solange said from behind me, "I'm here, Sidney. Are you all right?"
I turned to her. She was already dressed for the day; I wondered how long she'd been up. She got a good look at me.
"Dream?"
I nodded.
"Bad?"
I thought about it. "I don't know. Parts. I don't understand."
She moved to me, pulling me into her arms. I let her, and I felt myself wrapping my arms around her.
"I'm all sweaty," I complained, but I didn't pull away. "I bet I small horrible."
She didn't say anything but instead drew me into her room. I went without a fuss. We sat down on the sofa together, and I never released my grip on her.
"Are you all right?" she asked.
"No."
But I began to describe the dream.
"It started out okay. Funny, actually." I explained about the vampire worshippers. She chuckled for that. Then, slowly, I explained it all, briefly, glossing over all the details. I was sure she knew I was doing it.
I got to the end.
"I don't understand," I explained.
"Easy," she said. "You were learning the factions. You were learning about humans who would accept us. You were learning about humans who hate us. Do you see?"
"Oh." I thought about it. "I'm not sure all those teenage girls with a crush on Edward Cullen would be as welcoming when presented with the reality."
"Are you suggesting they would be disappointed we don't sparkle?" Her eyes glinted at me.
"I am suggesting they fantasize about Edward because they know he's not real and they are safe. I am not sure they would feel so safe if they realized you truly exist."
"People fear that which they cannot control," Solange observed. "We cannot predict how an individual person will react upon learning of us. Some take it in stride, some panic. I did not know how you would react, and I was afraid to find out."
I thought about it. "I don't know, either. I do not care to know your underground facility exists. I do not like thinking about it, any of it. I do not like knowing you blurred my mind several times. I am not fully comfortable inviting Dolores here-"
"I would never hurt her!" Solange said.
"I know, Solange. I am afraid she will grow interested in Aubree, or perhaps one of the other lawyers in your firm. You have my loyalty, but it would be tested, possibly past the breaking point, if something happened to one of my friends."
"Everyone knows your friends are off limits," Solange replied somewhat more gently. "Do you want me to ask Aubree to stay away when Dolores is here?"
"Part of me does. Part of me would protect her. But I do not believe that is the answer. I believe trust grows. But do you understand?"
"Yes, Sidney, I do."
We talked further about the dream. Then I yawned.
"I should put you back to bed."
"There's a part I haven't told you about yet."
"Withholding, Sidney?" she asked, and there was coolness in her voice.
"I promised to tell you about my dreams," I said. "I did not promise I wouldn't think about some of them a little first. I am telling you now." I explained the last part, when the dream showed me feeding from her. "Your fangs were out, and you were talking to me, encouraging me to drink."
"Yes. I do that often. This does not seem like something that requires much thought."
"Always so impatient," I muttered. I told her about the last part. "You were asking me to forgive you."
"I frequently ask you to forgive me."
"I don't recall you doing so while I am drinking from your wrist."
"Perhaps you have been too distracted to remember," she suggested.
I thought about it before responding. "Perhaps that sounds suspiciously like misdirection."
"I do not know what you are asking, Sidney."
"So you're not going to explain why I would see a dream of you asking me to forgive you?"
She cocked her head. "You already know I ask that. What is the problem?"
"I don't remember!"
"Maybe you didn't hear."
"Maybe you're still using misdirection. Why can't I get a straight answer?"
"You haven't asked a question for me to answer."
"Fine," I said. I pulled away from her. "Have you been using vampire magic to force me to forgive you?"
She stared into my face, and I was sure she was about to lie. "I wouldn't put it that way."
"How would you put it?"
"I would say that it is important to me that you forgive me, and so I frequently ask. Some of the times I ask may be while you are somewhat more vulnerable to suggestion that others. But as I ask you frequently, I do not believe I am doing anything wrong."
"Is this why you want me to keep drinking from you?"
"I already told you part of the reason was so that we would continue to get along. Is it not obvious that I would hope forgiveness would come as well?"
"Now you're using misdirection again. Did you specifically guide me towards remaining addicted so that you would have more opportunity to take advantage of my vulnerability?"
"Sidney, if I wanted to force you to forgive me, I could have bound you to me. Or I could glamour you to do so. I do not require trickery."
"Why haven't you, if it's so important to you?"
"Because for a great many reasons, I do not want to be the sort of person who does that." By now she looked annoyed. This was the closest we'd come to a fight in several weeks.
I looked down at my hands. "There are repercussions from what you did to me. I am still suffering from them. I do not believe it is in me to fully forgive you until they are erased."
"I know. I am trying."
I nodded. "All right." I paused. "Why was this conversation so hard? Didn't you know what I was asking?"
"I knew," she admitted. "I didn't realize we had a problem until you started asking, and I was trying to make sure I understood the edges of it so I wouldn't make it worse."
"We don't have a problem," I said. "Well, beyond the impending war and a year of bad blood."
It wasn't an intentional pun. I swear.
Solange got better at giving me seer dreams, real dreams. She could fairly reliably direct me towards events from her past, such as the conversation with Ada Lovelace. But we were still fumbling around trying to produce more useful dreams. It was ten days later before I had my next useful dream. It would become a dream I would repeat frequently, and it would prove to be essential in our fight against the impending war.
I didn't immediately recognize it for what it was.
I found myself watching a man. He appeared to be about thirty, but somehow I knew he was far, far older than that. It was dawn, and he stood upon a castle parapet, high over the surrounding countryside. I couldn't have told you the timeframe, whether I was seeing the distance past or the near present. The man wore dark trousers, a white shirt, and, of all things, a red cravat. Draped over his shoulders was a long, leather jacket, perhaps a duster or a tailcoat. I couldn't tell. I didn't see his feet, but I imagined he was wearing boots. His hair was long for modern styles and wind-swept.
The scene shifted, and I knew I was seeing out of his eyes. He looked around at the countryside. In the near distance there was a small village. Surrounding it all were farms. The countryside was hilly, and there was a single dirt road that connected the castle to the village.
The dream faded, but then renewed, and I was watching a woman. She had sharp, angular features, long black hair, and deep green eyes. She was seated at an ornate, cherry wood desk set in an opulent room. The woman was doing paperwork at the desk, but she looked up and stared at me for a moment.
Her gaze was fierce; this did not strike me as someone I would want to cross.
I saw another woman, then two more men. Each was distinctive in appearance. Each looked powerful, if one can envision what power looks like. But I couldn't have told you who they were nor why I was dreaming about them.
Then the dream shifted, and I was staring at the New York skyline. I barely recognized the view before it zoomed forward, flying through several of the buildings before it stopped immediately outside an office. A man sat at a desk. He turned to look at me, tapping a pen against his lips for a moment. The dream zoomed forward, through the window and then past the man to give me a look at the art on the wall past the man. There were four pieces, and they looked old.
There was another shift, and I saw two women, one in uniform, the other in an expensive business suit. The scene was a private residence. I knew the woman in the suit was a vampire; she was feeding from the neck of the woman in uniform. The image zoomed in, and I saw the insignia on the sleeve of the uniform. She wore a deep blue uniform jacket with two stars on her shoulder. On her lapel was a silver pin with the letters "US".
A vampire was feeding from a US general.
The general was clutching at the vampire and moaning in pleasure.
The scene shifted. I saw a woman, thirties, striding confidently through an office. She stepped past a sign for "Forester Investments", and I followed her as she walked to the corner office. Another woman was following immediately behind her, clearly subservient to the first woman. The first woman stopped in her doorway, turned around, and issued several orders.
The scene shifted.
In all, the dream showed me ten people in this group. Several were clearly vampires; I surmised they all were.
I didn't know why I was seeing them.
The dream went blank for a few moments, but it wasn't over. I was treated to another montage of vampires. Although there were different faces, I couldn't distinguish any difference between group two and three, at least not until the end. The last vampire in that group was Solange. She was working at her computer in her office downstairs.
Then there came a fourth group, and I wouldn't have called watching them a dream; it was more of a nightmare.
It started with a good view of a young-appearing man, but he flashed a smile, and his fangs were just visible. He was driving a car, and he pulled over. A cheaply-dressed woman strode to the car, and he rolled down the window.
"Looking for some sugar, Sugar?" the woman asked.
"Hop in."
The dream fast-forwarded, and I saw the car pull off the road next to a wooded lot or park.
"I thought we were going home, Sugar," the woman said.
"My wife wouldn't understand," the man said. "There's a little lake. It will very romantic."
"You said you wanted to eat me." The hooker shrugged. "Outside costs extra."
They both climbed from the car, and I followed them into the woods a short distance before the man turned the woman to him. He pulled her in, and she probably expected a kiss. She certainly wasn't expecting the fangs in her neck. She screamed, a long, blood-curdling scream, but then she began to clutch at him, and her scream turned into a moan.
He drank for a long time. I wanted the dream to move on, but it didn't, and I was forced to watch the entire feeding. Finally he pulled his mouth from her neck. It looked a little raw, but the main wound was already healed. He lowered her to a heap on the ground, then knelt over her.
Her eyes were closed, and she was mewling quietly. He shook her. "Look at me," he said gruffly.
She opened her eyes, and I knew he captured her immediately.
"Forget!" he ordered.
And then he was gone.
In all, I saw eight vampires feed from unwilling victims, some much rougher than others. Three ended the treatment as obvious prisoners, and I wondered how long they would live. Four were glamoured to forget what had happened to them.
And the remaining two had died.
The dream faded, and I woke.
* * * *
"Solange?" my voice trembled.
She was at her desk downstairs, working just as I'd seen her in the dream.
"Sidney," she replied, and an instant later, she was before me. I hadn't seen her move. "Are you all right?"
I shook my head and threw myself into her arms, clutching at her.
"Oh honey," she said. "You're trembling."
"Tighter!" I ordered, and her arms wrapped around me more completely. "Tighter!" She strengthened her grip. I trembled for a moment, then I whispered, "Tell me I'm safe! Tell me no one will hurt me!"
"Oh honey," she said again. "You are absolutely safe. I promise." She made soothing noises while drawing me to the sofa in her office. We sank down together, but I couldn't get close enough.
"Tighter!" I insisted.
She got the story out of me, just a high level view first. Even that took time. Even though most of the dream hadn't been so bad, the last portion had scared me.
"You shouldn't be this upset," she said.
"You don't understand. I was the people who ... um..."
"The victims?"
"Yes. The last four. I felt the last one die, Solange! I was she as we died! I died, Solange."
"Oh Sidney, you're safe now. I've got you. You are mine, and I won't let anyone hurt you."
"My heartbeat grew faster and faster," I said. "I knew I was dying. I thought it would get slower, but it grew fast and weak. And it didn't feel like it does when you did it. It hurt, the entire time. She had her hand over my mouth, and my struggles meant nothing to her. She kept drinking and drinking, ripping my throat open brutally. Solange, she was horrible! She was chuckling as she drank. She was chuckling as I died. My fleeting life was a big joke to her."
"Just a dream, Sidney," Solange said. "Just a dream."
"It wasn't just a dream, Solange! A woman died tonight. A woman died while that monster laughed about it." I was suddenly angry with her for not understanding, but still I clung to her.
"I'm sorry," she said. "You're right. That part is horrible."
"But you don't care," I said. "It's just another human life. There are seven billion of us, so what's one fewer?"
"Sidney, I do care," she said. "To be honest, I don't have much emotion for a random death. Far, far more people die to the depravities of normal humans than die to vampires. But I care about you. And I know it seemed real, but you're here, and you're safe, and I will keep you safe."
"You should care about her!"
"Why?"
"Because."
"Because every life is sacred? Because everyone matters? Because she died afraid? Because she is someone's daughter? Someone's wife? Someone's mother?"
"Yes!" I spat. "All of that."
"Sidney, what happened is tragic. I would change it if I could. I can't."
"You could stop her! You could keep her from doing it again."
"Actually, honey, I probably can't."
At that I pushed away so I could look at her. She returned my gaze, her expression filled with concern.
"I am an old vampire, but I am not ancient. From your brief descriptions, I recognize some of the vampires. They are all ancient. This vampire is undoubtedly ancient, and she could crush me with barely a thought."
"You said vampires police their own. You said if a vampire gets out of hand, the other vampires deal with it. You could report her."
"I could," she admitted. "I could tell the council that my pet seer saw it in a dream."
"No!" I screamed. "They can't know about me."
"That's right," she said. "They can't know, or they would take you from me. Neither of us wants that."
I looked away, and I felt the tears welling. It was almost a miracle I hadn't already been crying.
"But even if I could come up with a story, they wouldn't do anything. They'll only do something if they think she's going to get caught. She can be vicious and cruel, but if she's not reckless, if she doesn't get caught, they won't touch her."
"I thought-"
"You thought the vampires would act against each other to protect humanity? Some would. Most would not. Most would act against each other only out of self-preservation."
I studied her face then looked down. Solange pulled me back into her arms, and I went willingly, laying my head on her shoulder. We held each other without talking any further. She made soothing, wordless sounds and caressed my hair and back. It felt nice.
"I feel like a frightened rabbit," I finally admitted. "I've never been like this. I haven't needed this kind of comfort since I was nine years old."
"You're facing living nightmares, Sidney," she replied. "And you're still working on resiliency."
"That's the word I needed," I said. "I'm usually far more resilient than this."
"It's a difficult situation for you, and a disturbing dream." She paused. "And the addiction means you turn to me for comfort."
"Which doesn't bother you at all." That was said with some bitterness.
"No, it doesn't. I wish I knew you would turn to me even without my blood in your body." She tightened her grip for a minute. "Are you ready to talk about the rest?"
It was dawn before she had wrung everything out of me. I answered all her questions as best I could. I described the vampires as best I could. At the end, she asked, "Do you understand the dream?"
"Four groups. You're in the third. That's all I could understand."
"Other than me, the vampires you dreamt are all old and powerful, far more so than I am. That first vampire, the one on the castle... That's William of Glen Fallach."
"Is that in Scotland?"
"It is. He's at least a thousand years old and exceedingly old-fashioned. I'm surprised he wasn't in a kilt. He is well-known for believing vampires should remain in the dark, undetected. That is one faction, and he is the most powerful of the faction."
"So the others were his friends?"
"Not friends. On this one issue, they are in accord. On other issues, perhaps not. But they rule their territory and do not intrude on the territory of others. As long as no one threatens their security in some way, all other differences may be ignored."
I nodded.
"The second faction-" Solange said.
"The business people?" I interrupted.
"Yes. That group wants to remain in the background, but they want to dominate the world from the background. They are not friends, but on this, they work together."
"The one was eating some sort of military general."
"Yes. You don't control the world if you don't control the military. There are probably a number of key political leaders who offer their necks as well. A few children of political leaders have been turned as well as two spouses I know of. If the political leaders act against vampires, they are acting against the people they love."
"This seems like a dangerous course of action."
"It is."
"You were in the third group."
"My position varies between the first three groups," Solange said. "The differences between them are not always obvious. William rules his territory with an iron fist, but the humans don't know it. He wants a world without change."
"The world changes."
"Yes. I wish vampires and humans to get along. I would like there to be little distinction between us." She paused. "I would like us to come out of our closet. I do not care to be in the closet. But I wish for peace more than anything else. I do not know if peace is possible if we were widely known."