Authors: Robin Roseau
"You would have asked for affection and known you would receive it." I nodded. "You knew I wanted to offer affection, and you knew you wanted it from me." I felt the tears welling.
"I ruined everything." With a great deal of help from her, but I didn't add that.
And then the tears turned into sobs. Her hands moved, one on the back of the neck, the other reaching across me to clasp my hands, now drawn up to my chest.
"Shh," she whispered into my ear. "Shh. It's going to be okay, Sidney."
"It's not!" I wailed.
"Did you have a dream telling you that?"
"No, but we ruined everything!"
"You don't know that. Neither do I."
She let me cry, offering soothing noises. I began to calm down, but then I had new thoughts. I shoved her hands away.
"I am not yours!" I screamed. "I was, but I am not yours anymore! I am not your lover. I am not your girlfriend. I am not your property. I'm nothing but your prisoner. That is perhaps better than being your prepackaged cocktail, but not by a lot!"
I went back to sobbing again, and that just pissed me off. The sobs turned into hiccups, which was even worse. I would have screamed further at her, but I'd already worked myself up into a real tizzy.
She leaned over me, and I felt her hands. I didn't push them away this time. "Sidney," she said. "You
are
mine. Not my property, but you are mine."
She was wrong. I wasn't hers, and I would never again be hers. But I didn't argue with her. Instead, slowly, I calmed down. She helped me clean up then asked gently, "Ready to eat?"
I nodded. "What is there?"
She didn't immediately answer but instead retrieved the tray by the expedient manner of lifting the entire side table and bringing it to sit next to the bed.
"A light breakfast," she said. "Scrambled eggs. I'm sorry, no spice. Toast with jam. Juice."
"And I see pudding."
"Yes. And the pudding." She picked up the fork and took some of the eggs. She held it towards me. I reached for the fork. She didn't relinquish it, but she let me guide the eggs into my mouth. Then she slowly released the fork. I was able to feed myself a few forks, but then I began to tremble, and she took the fork from me.
"It's okay, Sidney," she said gently. She fed me slowly, and I was left feeling even more vulnerable than I had been, but I didn't say anything. I lay there quietly and let her feed me, eating whatever she held in front of me and drinking when she offered it. When I was done, I looked up at her. I felt the tears starting again.
"Damn it," I said quietly.
She dabbed away my tears before clearing the remnants of breakfast. Then she adjusted a chair and sat down next to the bed. I reached for her, and she gave me a hand.
"Thank you," I whispered, holding the hand to my chest, clasped in both of mine. I took a deep breath. "I'm going to be okay."
"Yes," she said. "You are."
"You aren't going to put me back."
"Not if you remain loyal."
"I will," I said. I looked her in the eyes. "I will," I repeated.
Then I had a thought, and I began laughing.
"Are you going to share?" Solange asked.
"I was just thinking. I usually check my email before breakfast, and I remembered I didn't check it this morning."
Solange smiled.
"Have you been answering it?"
She nodded. "We hacked your account."
Suddenly I had a horrible thought. "It's April."
"Yes."
"It's after the fifteenth! Taxes!"
"Handled. We've been filing your corporate paperwork and seeing to your bills as well." She paused. "Sidney, I will not accept any anger about this. We have been extremely invasive. If there is a paper trail about it, I now know it, perhaps better than you do. Also, we left many of your current procedures in place, but I moved all of your accounting and legal work to my firm."
"Your lawyers did my taxes?"
"I own an accounting firm as well."
"More vampires?"
"No. What did you need a criminal lawyer for? I didn't want to hack into police records to find out, and there wasn't anything in the public records."
"I thought I told you that story. The lost girl."
"Why did you need a lawyer?"
"They thought I had something to do with it."
"Oh. Of course." She paused. "We don't normally handle criminal cases and refer them, but in the future, if you have more dreams that require police intervention, I will handle it. You tell me, and we decide what to tell the police."
"Solange..."
"We won't sit on it. We'll do the right thing."
We talked quietly after that. Then there was noise in the hallway, and Thomas appeared, a woman with him. She was dressed like any other medical professional: scrubs, I guessed they were called. Hers were floral. She looked strong and businesslike.
Solange stood up. "Sidney Welsh," she said. "This is Millie Norquist. She is your physical therapist. You will do whatever she tells you to do."
"Yes, Solange," I agreed. I realized the food had helped my mood, and perhaps Solange's company hadn't hurt. "Hello, Ms. Norquist."
"Call me Millie," she said, taking my hand. "And regardless of what everyone else calls you, I will be calling you Sidney. Do you have an even shorter name, such as Sid?"
"Not one I prefer being used," I said, "but if you call me Sid, I won't get upset and I might even answer to it."
"All right." She looked at Solange. "If you have anything else you need to tell her, do it now." Before Solange could answer, she looked at Thomas. "When I am done, she will need her bedding and clothing changed."
"Not him!" I said immediately, then I realized he could take that the wrong way. "I mean. Man. Um."
He chuckled. "I understand."
"Today and this weekend," Solange said, "I'll help you. Maybe by Monday you'll be able to see to your own needs." She turned to Thomas. "I will summon you when you are next needed." He nodded and stepped out of the door.
Millie turned to Solange. "Are you staying?"
"Yes."
"All right." Millie turned to me. "We'll start with an assessment. You seem to be alert and responsive. That's good." She clasped my hands. "Squeeze, as hard as you can."
I squeezed. I don't believe it was very hard.
"All right," she said. She set my hands back in my lap and moved to my feet. She pulled the covers away from them carefully, then said, "Wiggle the toes of your right foot." I did that. "Now the left." I did that. "Good. Can you point your toes at the wall?" I flexed my ankles. "Good. Now to the ceiling." I did that.
"Good," she said. She began peeling the covers off my legs completely. I was dressed in a hospital gown, and I felt self-conscious. I may have blushed, but if I did, she ignored it. "Can you pull your knees towards your chest?" I tried. I didn't do very well. "Can you lift your leg?" That was even harder.
Then she set her hands on my legs, feeling them up and down. She frowned but didn't say anything.
"Can you hold your arms out?" She demonstrated, holding her arms straight out in front of her, parallel to the ground. I lifted my arms and was able to hold them that way for several seconds before I began to tremble. I let them drop to the bed.
She moved around the bed, asking me to do this exercise or that one. Finally she stepped away. She picked up a clipboard and began making notes, not saying anything. I looked between her and Solange, embarrassed. Solange didn't say anything. The room was quiet except for the scratches of Millie's pen on the paper. Finally she set it down and turned to me.
"You belong in a hospital."
Solange began to growl.
"Put those fangs away," Millie said without even looking at her. "I am neither impressed nor intimidated. She should have stayed in that horrid little facility of yours at least until she was strong enough to make it to the bathroom unassisted."
I looked between them. "Do I need to go back?" I asked in a small voice. "Please don't make me go back." I think it was a whine. I'm almost sure of it.
"Does that answer that?" Solange asked Millie.
"I already understood," Millie said. Finally she turned to the vampire. "I have seen your gym here. You will need to acquire some new equipment."
"Make a list."
"When she's ready to get out of bed, I will require either you or Thomas to help. Until she can make it to a wheel chair without assistance, I will also require one of you to help."
"Of course."
"Stay away from her neck," Millie ordered the vampire.
Solange began to growl again. Millie just crossed her arms but didn't say anything.
"There's a ritual," Solange said. "Until then, she remains bound in that bed when I am unavailable to manage her."
"How much blood does this ritual require?"
"I don't exactly measure it," Solange said.
"You know what a pint feels like. A pint? Two pints?"
"Oh. Maybe a half glass, maybe a little more."
"Fine," said Millie. "But otherwise, her neck is off limits. Do I make myself clear?"
I couldn't believe the woman was speaking to Solange this way. I was more surprised when Solange agreed.
Millie turned to me. "I take it you were in good physical condition."
I nodded. "Will I get it back? It was a lot of work the first time."
"That will depend upon how hard you work. You have lost a great deal of muscle mass and tone. Neurologically, you seem fine."
She turned back to Solange. "Your blood will help her."
"I don't think she's ready for that," Solange said.
"What do you mean, her blood will help?" I asked.
"Vampire blood is the fountain of youth," Millie said to me. She turned back to Solange. "Do you want her healthy or not?"
"Of course."
"Then she feeds from your wrist daily in the afternoon after the last of her therapy. Not before. I don't want her amped up on vampire blood. I want the blood to help her rebuild."
She turned to me. "I don't care if you're ready," she said. "You'll do what you're told."
"Fine," I said petulantly. "What are we waiting for?"
Those may have been the worst five words of my life.
Millie made me work, and I was sweating long before she called a stop. But I didn't complain once. I did what she ordered.
Finally, with me panting in the bed, she declared me done. "Clean her up," Millie said. "I'll be back this afternoon." She turned back to me. "You will sleep. If you do not believe you can sleep, you will ask the vampire to help you. I will come twice a day. Tomorrow, I will also give you exercises to do at other times along with a schedule. Thomas can help you."
"Thank you," I said.
* * * *
I was past done in before Millie let me stop that afternoon. There were tears in my eyes, but not once did I complain.
"Good," she said. "Well done, Sidney."
That was when the tears really started. "I biked the Ironman," I told her. "I biked the Ironman."
"Oh honey," she said. "I'm sorry, you won't bike it this year, but you'll get stronger quickly. I promise."
She let me cry for a while, then she helped calm me down. Finally she turned to Solange, who had remained with us the entire time, not saying anything. "Get her cleaned up. Fresh bedding and clothing. Then a little food, then your wrist. Let it settle before dinner." She paused. "In the morning, get her dressed like she's going to the gym, and be prepared for regular clothing afterwards. Treat her like a human."
I didn't see Solange's response, but I presumed she nodded ascent.
I got a sponge bath. I wanted a proper shower, but I took what I could get. It was tricky, but Solange moved me to a wheel chair, covered me with fresh bedding, then called Thomas to make up the bed. After he left, she put me back.
The snack was canned fruit. It tasted wonderful, and I wanted more.
"Later," Solange said. She paused. "This is intimate."
"You're going to make me drink your blood?"
"Yes, straight from my wrist."
"Not your throat?"
"That's a little too intimate," she replied.
"Not from a glass?"
"It's best this way," she said. "I'm going to climb into bed with you and hold you, then I'll open my wrist and give it to you. You will drink."
I thought about it. "Gross," I said.
"You're going to change your mind about that," she said.
"I doubt it."
She simply smiled then climbed onto the bed. She arranged us carefully, which involved quite a bit of shifting around. I found myself cradled with my head on her shoulder, both of us facing the same direction. She adjusted me a little, testing the fit. It felt ominous when she made sure she could move her wrist to my mouth.