More than Just Sex (9 page)

A woman will always tell you if she is interested and it’s really, really obvious, if you know what signs to look for. Just as with the perception feedback fieldwork you did earlier, just because you’ve never seen it doesn’t mean it’s not there. It’s right in front of you all the time. You may never have known what women thought of you until very recently, but now that you do you can do something about it. It’s the same here. I’m going to teach you how to tell if she is interested so you never need to worry about the prospect of rejection
ever
again.

It’s much easier than you think, but the trouble is that we are not taught this in school so we are left to flounder around on our own, making so many schoolboy errors that she just can’t understand.

She thinks she is giving you crystal-clear signals and, meanwhile, you’re fumbling around like a teenager with a bra strap. It’s all psychology, so let me share the top five signals of interest that you are almost certainly missing every day.

TOP FIVE SEX SLEUTH SIGNALS

There are actually six sex sleuth signals but you’ll never be able to say it so here are the top five.

Like I said, when you master these skills, you will never need to worry about rejection ever again. You will know that the coast is clear, perhaps even before she does herself. You’ll be externalizing the right values in exactly the right environment and now that you know who’s buying, you’ll be unstoppable!

Set the game up in your favour and in every social situation every single woman in the place will quickly check you out as soon as you walk in the room. She’ll take in all your externalization signals and will form an opinion, and either throw out ‘not interested’ or ‘come and get me’ signals all over the place. She might not even be aware that she is doing it. But unless you spot them, you’ll have no more clue than a blind man at the Playboy Mansion.

It might all appear like the dark arts at the moment, but very soon it’ll be second nature to you. We men are not genetically programmed the same way as women, and we have to face the reality that when it comes to subconscious signals and how to read them, women are just naturally much better at it than us guys. But we can learn… and if there’s one thing that’ll get your attention in class it’s the hot teacher and, remember, these words are the teachings of some of the world’s most beautiful and desirable women.

Women have to be intuitive. A woman’s ability to pick up on subconscious signals is seriously deeply rooted. Suppose a mother didn’t notice the signs that her baby was hungry or needed to be changed? It would take a long time until the baby could say, ‘Hey Dad, I crapped myself. Going to do something about it?’ She’s got the covert stuff
all wrapped up. She can read you like a book and can’t understand why you don’t do the same. The truth is that unless it is spelled out to most guys (as I am about to do for you), then they just don’t get it, and believe me, this frustrates women no end. There she is sitting at the bar giving it everything she’s got with the come-and-chat-to-me signals, and what do you do? You walk straight past her, too self-conscious even to make eye contact. Order a pint and a packet of dry roasted and sit back down with your mates, wondering which bar (changing environment again) you can go to next where you might get ‘lucky’. Meanwhile, she’s left looking for someone else, someone who actually notices her signals and is not afraid to act on them. And you’re left sitting with your pint wondering what he has that you don’t. Nothing other than the ability to spot what’s right under his nose.

Very soon that will be you, too! But first I have to teach you the five key moves that will give her game away every time. The modern woman doesn’t point her perfectly manicured, gel-tipped finger and beckon you over while mouthing, ‘Come and get it’, but the selective seductress is giving out more signals than an epileptic at a semaphore convention.

Don’t just take my word for it. Dr Timothy Perper is one of the most respected researchers into male/female courting behaviour (what a job!). The good doctor has created one of the world’s most highly regarded pieces of research into interpersonal relations and dating in his book
Sex Signals: The Biology of Love.

‘Women have vested nearly all their actions with symbolic meaning. Physical distance, topic of conversation, degree and intensity of eye contact and choice of locale have all been assigned and exquisitely developed into a coordinated set of preceptive and rejective meanings. Women employ their total environment symbolically: every thing and every act in it consciously expresses how they feel about the man.’

Translation:
she’s giving off exactly the kind of signals I am talking about.

‘We cannot conclude, however, that women actually succeed in communicating with men through these symbolic meanings. In part that depends on what he thinks the woman’s behaviour means. Profound chasms of miscommunication exist between men and women concerning these meanings…’

Translation:
but YOU just don’t get it!

‘The skilled objective observer (you), very soon therefore has little trouble understanding the woman’s intentions even if her male partner can’t.’

Translation:
but you will soon! And be way ahead of the game and the wannabe PUA players whose openers and ‘sets’ are so obvious to women now as to make them laughable.

So there you have it: rock-solid, research-based proof that covert signals are there for you to see every day, if only you adjust your focus and give her some of the same attention
you give elsewhere. It really is that simple and by the time you can spot her signals as quickly as you can spot a Ferrari tail-light on a dark motorway, you’ll be laughing all the way to the sack… and way beyond.

But the best bit is that she will be so used to sending out unrequited signals that when someone does get the hint, she will be bowled over that not only do you externalize what she is looking for and live up to your initial billing, but you are also confident and enough of a man to take her on. And if you take her on with her signals, you can take her on a date with intent.

Contrast that with what she is used to. The guys she is interested in just not getting it or being constantly hit on with ‘the opinion opener’ or ‘the situation opener’ or being ‘negged’ by some guy she has no interest in. I was recently sitting having a drink with a group of female friends and do you know what they were talking about? PUA and how two of them had been negged at the bar that weekend and another had been asked about her shoes. Shoes, the PUAs will tell you, are of special significance to women because they are so personal and there is so much choice that a compliment about her shoes is a compliment about her. But then they follow it up with a gentle ‘neg’ such as ‘are they Louboutin?’ so that chances are she will have to say ‘no, they’re just from the high street’ and feel slightly bad for not living up to expectations. Please do yourself a favour, it’s not right and even worse for your chances as the girls you are approaching know exactly what you are up to.

So, the first proper step is to learn how to turn your sensory acuity all the way up so that you take in more
information and have much more with which to work. Think of it like turning up the resolution on life. If you are going to make any headway with women, you are going to have to start paying attention.

Fieldwork

Think of the last attractive woman you saw. What was she wearing? What colour was her hair? If you work in an office or retail environment, I want you to really start to pay attention to your female colleagues. Would you notice if one of them changed their hairstyle? How about if they changed their car? Yep, I thought so. You see, despite what you might think, your sensory acuity is already there. You just need to focus it differently.

Would you notice that your mate had a new piece of sports kit? Would you notice if your favourite drink went up in price at your local? If you were driving along the motorway would you notice a new Ferrari three cars back in your rear-view mirror? Yes, yes and yes. Of course you would. So now it’s time to use those same skills where it counts – with women. You need to notice what signals they’re giving you every day. OK, they might not come from Maranello or even all be as shapely but trust me, this ride is just as much fun when you perfect this for yourself.

I need you to really pay attention now. No, not to me, to them: to whoever you are near right now. I’m going to teach you to be a super-sleuth of sex signals by turning your sensory acuity all the way up. You’re going to like this, because only 7% of all communication is in the actual
words we use. The rest (93% for the hard of counting) is in the other stuff: the tone and expression, body language and non-verbal cues that your brain is taking in all the time, even though you’re not directly paying attention to them.

I read recently that car manufacturers are finding that it’s cheaper for them to make their cars with all the optional extras programmed in and then turn off the electronics for the bits for which you haven’t paid. Your brain is a lot like that. All the information is there, but only some of it is being processed.

In years to come, I am sure there is going to be a black market in unlocking car ‘brains’, just as there has been with mobile phones, but for now it is time to unlock your brain so you can see what’s been there all along and then be able to do something about it.

Homework

OK sex sleuth, I want you to ensconce yourself on the sofa with the TV remote (I think you’ll like this homework) and flick through the channels until you find someone being interviewed. It can be as highbrow or lowbrow as you like – that’s not what’s important here. The only thing that is important is that you can clearly see them, and particularly their face. If you are feeling brave or are reading this in public somewhere find a woman near you instead, and preferably one in conversation, who doesn’t know that you’re paying attention to her. You are NOT trying to pick her up, but I want you to really notice her.

Look at her from head to toe (subtly! I’m not coming to bail you out for public weirdness). What is she doing with her arms? Are her legs crossed? Is she animated or subdued? When she talks, thinks and listens, what does she do with her head and her eyes? You can learn so much about someone just by how they use their eyes, but even noticing that they are doing ‘things’ is a start. Knowing that these ‘things’ that they do have meaning is the next step. Then all you have to do is remember what the meanings are.

Obviously, there is the dewy-eyed, puppy-dog ‘take me to bed or lose me forever’ look, but honestly, if you can’t pick up on that, then this book is way too advanced for the likes of you. I say notice how they ‘use’ their eyes, because from now on I want you to think of the eyes as being like the cursor on your computer screen. If you want to access a file, you must hover the pointer over the icon and click. You can’t access what’s inside any other way.

Now, if you are anything like me, your desktop is probably a right old mess, with folders and files all over the place. Fortunately our brains (yes, even yours, and a woman’s) are much more organized. Probably because this is all at a subconscious level, and so our conscious minds haven’t had the chance to mess it up.