More than Just Sex (21 page)

‘Well, when we’re doing
[this and this]
together, it would be better if
[something and something].’

Presuppositions are some of the most powerful language patterns of all because, in short, the idea is to presuppose an outcome as if it is already guaranteed to happen.

With practice and skill, and when used correctly, the person you are talking to will make the subconscious connection that this outcome is bound to happen.

For example, if you are getting on great and want to take it further, you might use a line like ‘Before we head off to the club (or back to your place, or whatever), shall we call a cab or just hail one in the street. Which way do you think is quicker?’

Got it? It sounds like you are giving a choice, but in reality the choices have nothing at all to do with each other. You are steering her towards what you want to happen.

You can see that the fact you are going elsewhere has been presupposed within a question about how to get a taxi and then covered neatly with the final question, the one she will answer: ‘Which way do you think is quicker?’

By the phenomenon of primacy and recency (the first and last things are the ones you will take in most), the desired outcome has been well and truly presupposed.

Type #4: Sometimes just called the ‘Ors’

‘Or’ presuppositions simply give the illusion of choice, but have the intention of one definite outcome. There is often an ‘or’ in many other presuppositions, too.

‘Should we go out for a drink
or
to a nice restaurant instead?’

Here you are presupposing that you are definitely going out. The only question is where.

With practice, you can use presuppositions to control the flow and tempo of the conversation, so that you always end up presupposing the outcome you want.

As we have said already, before long these frequent
presuppositions and suggestions will stick to your target’s subconscious mind, and the outcome won’t be in the question at all. It will be as if you both wanted the same thing from the start. Of course she still has free choice but it’s influenced and directed in the way that you want it. If you are both on the same page from the start everything will work out just fine but if you are MAN-ipulating her against her natural will then you can’t say you haven’t been well warned of the BBB.

Here are a few more different ways to use presuppositions to get what you want.

Type #5: Numeric Indicators

These presups use words such as first, second and third to indicate order.

‘Do you want to go to dinner
first
or the movie?’

Here you’ve given someone one choice with two places, but the only real choice is the order, not whether or not you are going to go.

Type #6: Time-based presuppositions

These presups use words such as ‘
now
’, ‘
then
’, ‘
before
’, ‘
after
’, ‘
when
’ and ‘
prior
’ to presuppose a time of action.

‘Would you like my phone number
now
or
when
we leave the club and it’s quieter?’

This is a highly effective presup, because not only are you assuming that they want your number, but also that
you will be leaving the club together. This is an excellent presupposition for seduction purposes… if that’s your kind of thing, of course.

Type #7: Twisting Time

This is much like other time-based presuppositions, except less obvious. Common words to use include
‘start’, ‘stop’, ‘begin’, ‘end’, ‘and continue’, ‘already’
.

‘Do you want to
continue
this here, or go elsewhere to finish off the night?’

This presupposes that the person wants to continue ‘this’ whatever else is going on. And whatever ‘this’ is… uses a non-specified referential index, so will be whatever she attributes to ‘this’. It could be ‘conversation’, it could be ‘seduction’, or it could be ‘the start of a meaningful relationship’. In fact, it could be just about anything she has in mind.

USE
BUT
NEVER ABUSE

These are the main ways to use but not abuse presuppositions.

Some people use presuppositions without even realizing it, so they probably don’t quite understand why others seem to do what they want more often than not. Remember, all this stuff is just reverse-engineered from what happens naturally with highly effective communicators and persuaders. Here we are breaking it down so that anyone can get the same results that those guys get naturally.

You now know what presuppositions are, how powerful they can be and how to use them deliberately so that you can direct your use of them consciously towards her unconscious with the specific outcome you want. Of course you may be thinking, ‘Yeah, but that won’t work. Everyone will spot them a mile off’. But just have a look again at the opening paragraph; the one I even drew extra attention to by asking you to reread it.

In that one paragraph, I used
every
different type of presupposition we have just spoken about and even hidden some embedded commands (EC) too, and I would like to bet that you didn’t even notice them. I’ll show you…

Before
(time-based presup) you
begin to think about
(EC) whether you are going to
start
(twisted-time presup) building rapport
or
(‘or’ presup) anchors
first
(numeric indicator presup), and
way before
(time-based presup) you actually
start deliberately using language
(EC) to
improve your chances
(EC) (cause and effect presup), you also need to know about and
use presuppositions
(EC).

And of course the ‘binds of comparable alternative’ presupposition is that either way
you will be using presuppositions with a girl.

And if you didn’t notice and you are studying the subject, what chance does she have in a bar or club with the great guy she has just met who is externalizing the real him and has lots of qualities she is looking for in her perfect guy? None at all… not even a chance!

EC, which stands for ‘embedded commands’, is what we are going to be covering next. This is the subtle art of ‘embedding’ specific commands in language so that they go into her subconscious and stick but without being noticed consciously.

Here (although you didn’t notice at the start of the chapter) are the commands ‘begin to think…’ and ‘start deliberately using language’ and then ‘improve your chances’. And lastly, ‘use presuppositions’.

Make sense? Even if you just read the embedded commands out of context, the message they deliver still makes sense. So when they are wrapped up in other language, although she might not consciously notice it, her brain will pick them out just the same. Let me show you how this works.

EMBEDDED COMMANDS

That’s ‘em’bedded, and not ‘in’bedded, although one often follows the other when you are right. The concept of embedded commands comes again from the great hypnotist Milton Erickson. It was later fine-tuned by John Grinder and Dr Richard Bandler, the co-founders of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP).

Obviously, embedded commands were not discovered and refined for the purpose of picking up the hot girl in the bar, that’s just a bonus application. They were first used in therapy as a way of bypassing the patient’s conscious-mind gatekeeper, and getting straight to the far more powerful subconscious part.

If you want to affect anyone really deeply, then going to the subconscious level is always going to be most powerful. Just as with anchoring, when you create or ‘embed’ connections or suggestions in the subconscious, the conscious mind, and then the body, is more than happy to follow along with ‘involuntary conditioned responses’.

Embedded commands work by planting a thought or idea into the mind of the person you are trying to influence. Let me show you how with an example.

If I was talking to an attractive girl that I had met in unusual circumstances, I could say something to her like, ‘Isn’t it funny we should be together like this?’ It’s a perfectly natural piece of language and conversation, but within the innocent question is the powerful command ‘
we should be together’
. She will never spot it.

This obviously (but not consciously) places the idea in the woman’s mind that it would be a good idea ‘for us to be together’.

Now I do need to tune you into something else. Simply learning the patterns and a few clever phrases is not going to improve your chances by itself. Using language cleverly and for effect is an art. It is subtle. It is something you have to practise and then keep practising. It’s actually a lot like learning to play a musical instrument. The only difference is that you already know where all the notes are.

Headwork

Imagine that you are sitting at a piano (if you play the piano, pick an instrument that you don’t play). You know
that all the notes are in there somewhere. You know that by pressing the keys you can access them. You even have some sheet music that tells you in exactly which order the keys should be pressed. Does that mean you can play? No!

You have no idea about timing, or how hard to press, or which parts of the tune are loud and obvious and which more subtle and quiet. You have no skill to be able to get that result, even if you did know the time sequence. Playing the piano takes skill and practice. But believe me, it’s worth practising, and you don’t have to be a virtuoso to be able to knock out a tune and impress other people.

Homework

OK, while we’re on this musical theme, I want you to start to think of your voice as an instrument. Not in a horrible karaoke sense, but as an instrument of persuasion and influence.

Just read this sentence, taking the tone up at the end.

‘Are you wearing that tonight?’
The emphasis should be on
‘tonight’
. If it is, the sentence is asking a question about
when
the thing is being worn.

Now, take the emphasis just one word back to
‘that’
and read it again. Now the emphasis is on the thing that is being worn.

Take it back one more word to
‘wearing’
, and it’s about how appropriate it is to wear the thing.

Finally, take the emphasis back another word to
‘you’
, and the question is whether ‘she’ is wearing it, as opposed to someone else… you get the idea.

The sentence contains exactly the same words, but with four very different meanings depending on where the intonation and emphasis are placed.

Now read this sentence with your tone rising at the end again.

‘You’d like another drink?’
Said this way, it’s a question. The rising tonality sort of inserts a ‘would you’ at the start.

Now do the opposite and take your tone down at the end. The exact same words, ‘you’d like another drink,’ become a direct suggestion or command.

More than with any other language pattern, the importance of the tone of your voice while delivering embedded commands is paramount. They are called embedded ‘commands’ for a reason, and they should be delivered in the manner of a gentle (and I do mean
gentle
) command.

Embedded commands should be delivered with a distinctly downward inflection. This is in direct contrast to questions, which, as we’ve just explored, end with an upward inflection.

If you’re still not sure, just say, ‘Isn’t it funny we should be together like this?’ aloud to yourself, and listen to the natural tone of your voice. Then try saying the sentence aloud a few times, but with the ‘we should be together’ part as a gentle command.