More than Just Sex
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Text © Ali Campbell, 2012
The moral rights of the author have been asserted.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced by any mechanical, photographic or electronic process, or in the form of a phonographic recording; nor may it be stored in a retrieval system, transmitted or otherwise be copied for public or private use, other than for ‘fair use’ as brief quotations embodied in articles and reviews, without prior written permission of the publisher.
The author of this book does not dispense medical advice or prescribe the use of any technique as a form of treatment for physical or medical problems without the advice of a physician, either directly or indirectly. The intent of the author is only to offer information of a general nature to help you in your quest for emotional and spiritual wellbeing. In the event you use any of the information in this book for yourself, which is your constitutional right, the author and the publisher assume no responsibility for your actions. A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
ISBN 978-1-84850-592-6 in print
ISBN 978-1-84850-863-7 in Mobipocket format
ISBN 978-1-84850-864-4 in ePub format
Interior images:
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male silhouette © istockphoto;
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,
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female silhouette © shutterstock.
To everyone that has loved
and lost for whatever the reason.
There is light at the end of the tunnel
and it isn’t always a train…
Ali
CONTENTS
Chapter 1
Finding Your FIT Girl
Chapter 2
Who Does ‘She’ Think You Are?
Chapter 3
Are You Fishing or Worm Drowning?
Chapter 5
Who’d Have Thought It?
Chapter 7
MAN-ipulation Mastery
Chapter 8
Dating Dos and Don’ts
Chapter 10
Fight or Flight, F*ck… or Get F*cked!
Welcome to the book that can change your dating life forever. I’m going to teach you not only how and where to fish but exactly how to bait your hook to land the girl of your dreams.
You are also going to hear me use the word ‘meaningful’ a lot in this book, too. Literally ‘full of meaning’, there are hundreds of books on the shelves about how to pick up women, the slickest pulling techniques and proven, tested killer lines that she’ll be helpless to resist… or so they say, anyway.
Sure, there are ways to approach women (or anyone for that matter) that are much more likely to have a positive outcome. There are plenty of things you can do and say to affect her thinking in a seductive way, much more quickly, and there is definitely work that you can do on yourself to make you more comfortable in your own skin and allow the ‘real’ desirable you to come out. After all, if you are going to have a meaningful relationship, then that is what she’s going to connect with anyway; or she’ll find out soon enough and leave you back at square one. Single, feeling down and poorer, having likely spent all your money trying to make sure that she never found out who you really are. How long can you keep that up?
This book is NOT for PICK-UP ARTISTS. It’s for
real
men who want a
real
relationship. The
PUA
guys are a special breed all of their own (usually): the type of man who
measures his self-worth by the notches on his bedpost or the numbers in his little black… Berry.
While the idea of going out tonight and pulling the hot blonde at the bar may very well appeal to you, how good would it feel to be happily having dinner with her months from now, hearing her tell you that she loves you and is committed to making YOU happy?
Can you imagine building a
meaningful
relationship with the girl of your dreams? Sounds WAY better, right? And that’s what this book is all about. It’s about helping you gain and maintain a meaningful relationship with someone really hot and very special.
You are going to learn how to differentiate between the ‘meaningful’ and the ‘meaningless’, both on the outside and the inside. You are going to learn how to create powerful ‘meaningful’ connections and avoid the ‘meaningless’, energy-sapping nonsense that most of us associate with the trials of modern dating. This book bridges the gap between pulling and keeping, between gaining and maintaining a meaningful relationship.
The PUA guy might have a few more ‘lad points’ and stories to tell of that night in the bar when… well, you know. But he’ll also have a fair number of horror stories, howlers and close shaves, too!
During the course of researching this book I have heard it all, I’ve interviewed celebrities, models, film stars, players, playboys, real-life Casanovas, happy family men and luckless losers. I do not want the latter to be you.
The difference is subtle and, if you’re reading this then, to be blunt, it’s been way too subtle for you so far.
Don’t worry, I can change all that because I’ve also spoken to some seriously hot women: hot in so many ways, the girls you see in the pages of the glossy mags and women at the top of their profession in every sense. (It was a tough job, but I did it for you… honest.) So for the first time, I am going to tell you exactly what she really wants and how to sort yourself out so that you can give it to her. And believe me, she will be seriously grateful!
When I spoke to these women the same thing came up time and again. (And remember, these women are everything you could ever want or dream of, the top 1% by any barometer you choose.) The one thing they find consistently frustrating is us guys acting like weirdos trying to impress them. It’s just not cool or attractive.
Instead I’m going to show you how to bring out the very best in yourself, so that when you meet the girl of your dreams (and I’ll show you where and how to do that, too), she will think YOU are a catch and be the one trying to impress YOU!
‘A single guy approaching a beautiful woman should always remember no one is out of anyone’s league, it’s about the inner beauty and the connection between two people. Give the girl a chance, don’t pre-judge her on her image because she could be thinking you’re every bit as hot! I’m always attracted to personality. Looks are important yes, but if someone can make me laugh and I get on well with them that’s it for me.’
Nieve Jennings, Miss UK and Miss World finalist
So it all starts with being honest and real with her and, before you can be honest with someone else, you need to be brutally honest with yourself.
In this book, I am going to help you to steer your course from wherever you are now – be that in a relationship that you’d love to be more or looking for one from scratch – all the way to happily contented with the girl of your dreams. Remember, she’s looking for Mr Right, too, so don’t leave it to chance, show her it could be you.
It doesn’t matter about your background, or your job, or the size of your wallet, chest or anything else. It doesn’t really matter if you are rich or poor, and it certainly doesn’t matter what car you drive.
In fact, on that score you might be trying way too hard – believe it or not in the female psyche flashy is much more likely to count against you than for you, and if you think a sports car will get female attention you are SO wrong.
I know we all grow up with the idea that if you want to get the girls you need a serious set of wheels, but let me tell you that I know from personal experience that it’s just not true. I bought my dream car, a gorgeous black Porsche. It wasn’t just any Porsche: it was a 911 Turbo especially up-rated to 530bhp. Now that’s a serious piece of performance kit. 0–60 was 3.4 seconds and they claim (although I hasten to add I never found out) that it was good for 200mph. There I was, proud as Punch, driving through town on a beautiful sunny day, the flat-6 with its extra-induction roar audible to anyone with any sense of automotive appreciation in their soul… so you can imagine my disappointment when I realized that the ONLY people giving it and me any attention
at all were teenage boys. Just exactly the same as us at that age, falling into the same trap: ‘When I get one of
those
, then I’ll get laid!’ You could almost hear their overly eager thoughts and feel the surge of teenage testosterone as you passed. But girls… not one even as much as glanced as if to say, ‘He must be loaded!’ Not one!
Now, I am sure that there must be women somewhere who appreciate cars, and I have since learned that (for most) if their boyfriend has a nice car then that’s a bit of a bonus. But the moral of the story is definitely not a good one:
if you want to pull a 14-year-old boy, buy a 911 Turbo!
No one else will notice, and you will actually be damaging your chances of finding Miss Meaningful.
If you are inclined that way and need an attraction magnet, save your cash and buy a puppy. But if you can’t be bothered cleaning up dog shit and taking it for walks every day, just keep reading and I’ll show you all the secrets you need to know, as taught to me by women that are fed up of you not knowing them; the very
GoD
desses (
Girl Of Dreams
) you are trying so hard to impress.
Right, that’s the car myth dispelled. Then there’s the wallet myth. You know the one: hot women like rich guys. Good Charlotte might have sung, ‘Girls don’t like boys; girls like cars and money’, but it’s just not true. It’s just further propagating the urban myth, to our detriment. I’ve asked, and all my hot female friends said the same thing. The size of his wallet or the top speed of his car would not in any way make them more likely to give him their number.
The real determining factor that most men miss, but is the common denominator of almost every rich, sports-car-driving
babe magnet, is confidence! Genuinely comfortable in his skin with nothing to prove and wads of self-assurance. It’s not the Porsche or the wallet that’s attractive; it’s the state of mind that created them.
And, of course, if you have that state of mind, you will be much more likely not only to have the girl, but also the money and the car! Sounds good to me…
A great relationship will give you so much more than a cute girl on your arm and yet this is the one area you never get taught but, when you get it, will totally transform the rest of your life. Gaining confidence in this area WILL change your life, simple as that. How good will you feel when you know that you can approach any girl in your social environment and already know she is interested in you? Can you imagine how good that will feel for you?
When you follow the lessons in here and begin to live a life of abundance, confidence and opportunity, then you can have it all: the girl, the car, the cash and happiness. And the best bit is that it all happens right here between your ears. In fact, it’s already happening right now, as you read. It’s not the attractive ‘stuff’ that brings confidence and happiness; it’s the confidence and happiness that brings the attraction and the ‘stuff’.