"You're such a guy. She was a gay man in a
woman's body. Of course, she enjoyed all the male attention. It was the only time she felt normal and as for playing the part of a woman, she only did what society expected of her. She was in a woman's body so she lived as a woman. Do you understand?"
"Seriously, Ross, stop getting into my head."
Ross sighed dramatically. "Sorry, I'm trying to work on that. It drives Marc nuts too."
"Okay, I know this is off the subject, but am I still gay?"
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"Oh for Heaven's sakes, you have issues, don't you?
Of course, you're still gay. Marc was never meant to be a woman." Ross blew out his breath. "Do you understand now?"
My lips curled up into the biggest smile I had ever had. This was great news.
"The things you worry about." Ross looked at me and shook his head. "So when I say this I'm not trying to be funny but you two can be gay together and live happily ever after if you're not too late."
What? I came back down from the clouds I was
floating in at his words. If I'm not too late? That didn't sound good.
"You heard that, I take it." At my lack of response he continued. "See, there were conditions in bringing Marc back. We were given a deadline of one month to put his life to rights."
I gave Ross a skeptical look. He wasn't telling me everything. "What happens when the month is over?"
Ross's eyes glistened with unshed tears. "He will die."
"What?" Ross must have let go of the mind control because I was now able to move again. I grabbed him by his shirtfront and got right in his face. "What do you mean die? It's not fair to bring him back just to take him away 147
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again."
Ross pushed my hands away and placed a calming
hand on my shoulder. "If Marc finds love, he can stay here."
I gaped at Ross. I loved Marc. I wanted him in my life. What else could there possibly be left to do?
"He needs to hear you say the words out loud, Shawn."
My heart beat so fast I thought I would pass out.
"How much time do I have?"
Ross looked at his watch. "You have thirty minutes before the Big Guy brings him back home." I watched as Ross pointed his finger upward. I jumped out of my seat but Ross grabbed my hand. "Marc's at Serena's office. Now go before time runs out."
I raced out of the bar. I only had thirty minutes to get to Marc and tell him I loved him or he would die again.
Life wasn't fair sometimes but I wasn't losing my chance at happiness.
"Please God, let me make it in time."
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Of course, my last day on Earth and it would rain.
Talk about making an already gloomy day even more so.
Lightning streaked across the angry gray sky and every few minutes the windows shook when the thunder cracked.
Today was Friday and we'd just seen the last patient for the day. Serena stayed in her office with the door locked, trying to avoid me. Her optimistic attitude had started to dwindle as we got closer to the deadline. My heart broke every time I saw her eyes start to water. Eating dinner, watching a movie, even shopping had her on the verge of tears. I totally understood her pain and grief. She was going to be left all alone in the world again. It wasn't fair but those were the rules. If I couldn't get Shawn to say he loved me, I was toast and I hadn't seen or heard from him since Monday night when I went to his house.
I kept my distance because it wasn't fair to force Shawn to believe something he couldn't. It also wasn't fair to tell him in order to keep me alive I needed him to say those three little words. Life wasn't fair. I had learned that twice now, but I had hoped this time would be different.
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thoughts wandered over the past four weeks. I must say they were the best of my life, better than the last twenty-five years. I was free to live as the real me. The me I kept hidden inside all those years.
It amazed me how well I had adjusted to being a
man. For me being a woman had been like wearing an itchy sweater. Always wanting to tear the scratchy outer shell away and climb out of my skin. Like the scene from
Alien
when the alien popped out of that guy's chest. That's the only way I could explain it, except I wasn't a scary looking alien with freakish teeth.
When I asked Ross how I would die this time
around, he said I would go in my sleep. A little nerve-wracking to know tonight when I fell into dreamland, I wouldn't be coming back. At least it wouldn't be a painful death. Thank goodness for the small favors in life.
Last night I had dinner with Serena at her house and we invited Ross along. A very somber evening, to say the least. Serena and Ross were both just going through the motions in order to keep my spirits up, but I could see through their act. Hell, I was putting on my own act.
We ate dinner then afterward we looked through old photo albums, a trip down memory lane. It was nice remembering the good times and the sad ones. Serena set up her camera and took more pictures of us and even some 150
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of Ross. She said she needed pictures of her brother and her new friend. As funny as it sounded, the three of us made a great family. One person was missing though.
I told Serena not to hate him. We were asking him to believe the unbelievable and it would be hard for anyone to grasp. She grumbled about him being a selfish ass, but she agreed not to shut him out. In the end, Serena and Shawn would need each other. She had to help Shawn try to find another love, so he wouldn't die from a broken heart. Ross said it was possible but not likely.
The rain came down in sheets. I struggled to stay awake, so I stood up, yawned, and stretched my arms over my head. A loud clap of thunder rolled across the sky and the front door swung open.
I spun around to see Shawn standing in the
entryway, dripping wet. His blond hair hung down around his pale face and his wet clothes were plastered to his body.
He had a frantic look on his face. Eyes wide, looking me up and down as if he thought I would disappear at any moment.
"Holy shit, Shawn. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?" I said breathlessly.
Shawn ran forward, grabbed me by my shoulders,
and pushed me into my chair. What the hell was going on here?
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"Relax, Marc. Take deep breaths. We need to get your heart rate down so you don't die from a heart attack."
I watched as Shawn took those deep breaths. I
scrunched my eyebrows up in confusion. Why was Shawn here, and why did he think I would actually have a heart attack? Shawn kept taking his deep calming breaths and the light went off in my head. Ross.
"Shawn. Shawn." He wouldn't answer me. He was too busy concentrating on his breathing so I shouted.
"Shawn!"
He looked up at me in surprise with his mouth
hanging open. "What?"
"If you keep breathing like that you're going to hyperventilate and then I'm going to have to call an ambulance for your ass."
Shawn leaned forward and dripped water all over
my lap. He didn't say a word just kept nodding. He had a faraway lost look in his eyes and I had to wonder what Ross told him to scare him like this.
I reached out and grabbed his face with my hands to still his movements. "Why are you here?"
"Because I can't lose you. Ross said I only had thirty minutes to get here before you… before… before you died." Shawn's voice cracked as he rushed the words out.
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leaned forward and buried his face in my lap.
I smiled to myself. That sneaky angel, he tricked Shawn into coming here. "Shawn, honey, I'm not going to die in the next ten minutes." I ran my fingers through his hair in an attempt to calm his frayed nerves.
Shawn looked up at me. "You're not going to die?"
"Shawn, I'm assuming Ross spoke to you. What did he say?" I kept combing my fingers through his hair as he tried to get his emotions under control.
"Ross told me about the mix-up and how if I don't tell you I love you, you will die again. I can't lose you twice."
Tears started to fall from Shawn's eyes. I leaned forward and kissed his forehead. I hated to see him this upset but it bothered me that he would believe Ross and not me. I sat back in my chair and grabbed Shawn's chin none too gently, forcing his head up to meet my eyes.
"Why did you believe him and not me?"
Shawn wiped at his eyes. "Ross used his powers on me." Shawn ran a hand down his face. "He read my thoughts. We had a complete conversation and I didn't say a word at first. Then he put the whammy on me and I couldn't move my freaking body." He chuckled. "It makes a person a believer real quick."
The whammy? What was Shawn babbling about? I
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took a deep breath. "So you believe me now? You believe I used to be Marie?"
"Yes."
"And you're okay with this?"
"Yes. I know I wasn't at first but you have to admit it's a pretty weird situation."
"Tell me about it. I'm living this messed up life." I rolled my eyes.
Shawn twined our fingers together. "I did feel like I knew you from the first time we met. Then you told me what you did and I felt lied to and then betrayed. Here I am a gay man having sex with my dead best friend who used to be a woman. Kind of fucks with your mind."
I snatched my hands out of his grasp. "A mind fuck for you? You're a piece of work. Here I am dealing with you ignoring me for the past week, feeling guilty for lying to you and all you cared about was if you were fucking a man or a woman. Really?" Anger built inside me and I could feel the heat rising in my face. My life was in jeopardy and he was worried about the sex we shared together as two men because I used to be a woman.
"I know that look. Don't be mad at me." Shawn scooted back and held his hands up in front of him.
"Imagine if I told you I used to be a woman and now I'm a man. It would mess with you, too."
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My anger subsided a bit. He did have a point. If circumstances had been reversed, I would be a little skeptical too. "So you do believe me now though, right?"
"To be honest, Marc, I'm still getting used to all this but, yeah, I believe you."
I grabbed Shawn's hand and held tight. "Thank you.
It means so much to hear you say that."
"Don't thank me. My stubbornness almost cost me my best friend and the man I love."
My jaw dropped open. He just said the man he
loves. Shawn loved me. I knocked Shawn backward onto the floor when I jumped on him. I'd wanted to hear those words since forever and now I had. I peppered his handsome face with kisses. I would stay with him and love him for the rest of my life.
I pulled back to look Shawn in the eyes, letting him see my complete love and devotion. "I love you, too."
"That's good to hear because I'm not letting you slip away."
We started to kiss again. Shawn laid flat on his back with me sprawled across his chest. I didn't care if anyone witnessed this. We were in love and that was all that mattered.
We both jumped when we heard clapping. We
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staring at us. Ross had a big goofy smile plastered on his face, while Serena had tears streaming down her cheeks.
"Didn't I tell you it would all work out, Marc?"
Ross said with an air of superiority in his tone, as if he knew all along how this would end.
I grinned up at my angel, too happy to come back with a snarky comment. "Yes, you did. You finally got it right."
I climbed off Shawn and helped him to his feet. He put his arm around me and pulled me close to his side. He'd really meant what he said about not letting me slip away.
"Thank the lord above." Serena ran around the desk to wrap Shawn and me in a great big bear hug. "Marc will get to stay here with us, Shawn won't die of a broken heart, and Ross won't lose his wings. I'm so freaking happy right now. I love you, little brother."
I pulled away from Shawn to give Serena a proper hug. The woman needed all the affection she could get after suffering these last few days. The weight of the world had been lifted off her shoulders with the knowledge that I wouldn't be dying again.
"What was that about me dying of a broken heart?"
Shawn looked to me then to Ross.
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broken heart. Sadness is a fickle friend."
"Why didn't you guys tell me this?" Shawn shouted.
"Because you weren't ready to listen like I said earlier, you and Marc were meant to be together. You were both destined to fall in love." Ross smiled at us. "It was written in the stars."