Loving Your Lies (30 page)

I jerked my hand out from his hold and
stormed off into a part of the vineyards that wasn’t illuminated by
all those icky birthday lanterns.

Away from the lights and the partying crowd,
a chill trailed down my arms. Heading for the house, I stumbled
along the path between the vines, guided only by a soft beam of
moonlight. Julian’s calling my name followed me. The entrance to
the garden was still about fifty feet ahead when he caught up with
me, caught my hand, and spun me around.

“Don’t you dare touch me,” I spat at his
pleading face. There was no need to pull my hand away. My warning
loosened his hold of me in an instant.

“Jona, please, I’m sor—”

“No! Just
no
!
Don’t even say
it!” I whirled around and took a few steps toward the house with
every intention to leave him in the dark. But anger ate at me. If I
didn’t vent it out now, I could very well go break something
instead.

The dress swayed ominously around my legs
when I spun back to him. “You betrayed me. How dare you play with
my feelings?”

“I didn’t mean to betray you. But she is
your mother. And it’s her birthday. Most likely the last she’ll get
to celebrate.” His tone was so grave, it made my skin rise in
goose-bumps. “She wanted nothing more than for you to celebrate it
with her. Can’t you grant her this little bit of joy? I know it’s
hard for you to forgive her. But you don’t want your mother to die
with a broken heart, do you?”

Didn’t I?

Her hopeful look when she made her wish
slammed painfully into my mind. What would it be like to run out of
time? To know death was only a heartbeat away and there was no
chance at getting your final request fulfilled.

Stop. Thinking. About it.

“Want to know what really hurts me? That
you, of all people, lied to me. You could have ask me to join the
celebration. Because for you, I think I would have come.” I barely
managed not to sob. “Now tell me one thing, Julian. Was all the
kissing and the trip to the beach only part of your plan to bribe
me to my mother’s party?”

A frown formed small lines at the sides of
his mouth. “Don’t be ridiculous. None of this was part of any
plan.” He reached for me.

But I jerked back. “I’ll tell you what’s
ridiculous. This goddamn dress is! What were you thinking? That you
can wrap me up like a birthday present? If it wasn’t for the fact
that I have nothing under it, I’d rip it off!” Fingers digging in
the fabric of the bodice, I clenched my fists.

His right brow lifted, daring me to proceed.
The urge to slap the stupid smirk from his face was hard to resist.
I didn’t move. Julian came closer and pried my hands loose with
gentle fingers.

“This wasn’t me wrapping you up as a gift,”
he said so softly it made my skin tickle like it was brushed with a
down feather. “I saw you staring at the dress in the shop. The
gleam in your eyes. For once, I wanted you to see how lovely you
are. Not for your mum, your aunt, me or the guests. But just for
your beautiful self.”

I forced a swallow through my dry mouth and
throat. “I don’t know what you saw that day, but I never said I
liked this dress. And I sure didn’t think it would make me
pretty.”

“But you are pretty,” he whispered, and at
the same instant he pulled me closer to him. “The most beautiful
girl I know. And I’m sorry I hurt you by tricking you into coming
to the party tonight. But the kiss on the beach had nothing to do
with any of this.”

My fingers were splayed against his chest,
the warmth of his breath caressing my face. I wanted to hold on to
Julian, just for a second. To ensure this was not an imagination,
and that I had found someone who saw me for what I really was. He
was someone who saw beyond all my sarcasm and knew when I needed a
friend. “Then why would you kiss me?”

“Because I’m falling in love.”

22

CAN I GET MY LETTER
BACK?

MERRY MUSIC FROM the three-man band and the
singing of the jolly crowd attending my mother’s birthday party
drifted to me on the evening breeze. My feet had rooted at the
entrance to the vineyards as Julian’s words resonated in my
mind.

He loved me.

A loud burst of cheer followed by clapping
and laughter broke my bubble. At least I hadn’t ruined the
celebrating mood with my quick departure.

Julian’s blue eyes shone in the dark. The
sweet words of affection still hung on his lips, and my hands froze
on his chest. By his expression he was waiting on my reply. What
would I tell him? That I too was falling in love with him?

“I…” My voice was unrecognizable even to me.
I couldn’t finish the sentence. Not when I knew, in my soul, these
feelings shouldn’t be there.

What on earth was eating me? I hadn’t gotten
attached to anyone over the past twelve years. So why now? It was a
miracle Quinn Madison had become such a close friend, when I
carefully avoided any kind of relationship with anyone. But my
well-built wall of protection had crumbled before Julian within
days.

In fact, he’d blasted right through the
instant he appeared outside Abe’s office to free me from my cuffs.
His touch, his look, the way he talked to me—it was all so
different from anything I’d ever known.

And yet, I couldn’t tell him. I had sworn
never again to get close to another person, for the day that they
shoved me away would come and the pain would be too much to
bear.

My hands slipped from his chest, out of his
hold. I took a reluctant step backward. Emptiness swept through me,
made me want to curl up in the grass and hug my knees to my chest,
to ease the aching. I needed to get away. Put some distance between
the two of us and reconstruct this solid wall of invisible brick
around my heart. So I wouldn’t be hurt again.

I broke into a run. Crossing the last few
feet to the house as fast as Marie’s sandals allowed, I didn’t stop
nor turn around to Julian’s pleadings. Tears spilled from my eyes
as the door gave way to my furious push, and I stumbled into my
room. A thunder rolled through the empty house as it slammed shut
behind me.

I clamped down on my teeth and wiped the
tears from my cheeks. I should have known better than to let my
protection slip today and kiss Julian.

A glimpse of faint light on the vineyard
caught my eye over the balcony’s railing. I stopped in the frame of
the open door, trying to get a clear view of the crowd. Julian must
have returned there after I left him standing in the garden. But
the celebration was too far away to single him out.

The veil curtains wafted after me as I spun
around and stomped through the room in circles. Damn Julian and my
soft spot for him. I missed life the way it was. The way
I
was—stone cold and devoid of any feelings.

How could I ever return to my distanced self
after the kiss he and I had shared? The taste of coconut still
lingered on my tongue, making it easy for me to recall his lips
pressed tenderly against mine.

Dragging my clawed fingers through my hair,
I yanked on the strands and wished I could tear the memory out of
my mind with it. But it wouldn’t work. Every detail of his
beautiful face drawing nearer, every soft touch of his tongue to
mine was forever etched in my memory.

In a rush of frustration, I wiped the entire
collection on my desk to the floor. Pens clattered on the parquet,
books flapped open. And Julian’s weird-things-list slid on the
floor.

Kicking
The
Lord of the Rings
aside, I bent to pick up the sheet and scanned the bullet
points.

-INFLICTS HAPPINESS BY TOUCH.

-REVITALIZES THE DRAGON.

-RESURRECTED DUCK TODAY.

Oh come on, idiot, what kind of fairytale
do you live in
?
All the sweet meddling he did with my
mind had turned me into a complete imbecile. And why did I bother
to keep records of his weird traits anyway? As if someone would
ever believe that a
Flying Healer
lived next-door to my
room.

Angry breaths got my nostrils flaring. I
scrunched the paper to the size of a ping-pong ball. “Bullshit!”
Frustration powered my thrust as I tossed the ball against the wall
over my desk.

Only it didn’t fly in the direction I had
intended.

“Yikes!” The paper ball shot right through
the window and over the balcony. Both hands clapped to my cheeks, I
grimaced.

Terrific! Proof of my insanity just landed
in the middle of the garden.

I dashed out of my room and down the stairs.
Aside from little bits of moonlight broken by the maples, the
garden appeared dark like hell’s closet. Dew covered grass, high
enough to hide the rumpled paper, brushed my bare feet between the
straps of Marie’s sandals. Slow steps took me across the lawn. I
scanned every bit of the ground in front of me. “Oh please, you
bloody little thing, where are you?” I whispered.

“Looking for this?”

My sharp breath echoed through the air.
Julian narrowly failed to give me a heart-attack. I found him
sitting in a lawn chair. It was too dark to make out details of his
features, but the sheet in his hands glinted evilly in the
night.

Damn, he was supposed to be out in the
vineyard to celebrate with the others, not give me a jump start in
the pitch black of night.

I covered my mouth and coughed, glad he
wouldn’t be able to see my burning face. “This didn’t by any chance
fly from the balcony?”

“It did, indeed.”

Shit. And it was unfolded, so he must have
read it, too. Licking my dry lips, I shifted my weight from one
foot to the other. “You shouldn’t be picking up someone else’s
thrown away letters. That’s impolite.”

“It dropped directly into my lap. What does
etiquette say about that?” His voice held no definable emotion,
which for some reason freaked me out more than if he’d vented his
anger.

“Can I have it back, please?” My shy request
was met by his silence.

Julian rose from his chair then slowly
walked toward me, his white shirt and blond hair being the only
parts of him visible in the night. He stopped some three feet away
from me, clutching the paper with both hands. His lips curled in a
way that made me want to lean forward and kiss him.

“Why do you want it back? Did you find
another detail to add to the list?”

I swallowed hard.

“But I must give you credit for your
creativity.” He spoke very slowly, softly almost, as if my list
didn’t bother him at all. “
Julian’s spooky dual life.
What a
fancy title.”

Gee, thanks. A hint of sarcasm at least.

“Listen,” I croaked, clasping the skirt of
my dress with sweaty hands. “This is something private, and I’d
really rather have this list—” A cough gave me the chance to
correct myself. “—
paper
back.”

He studied me for an infinite moment and
again my lips itched to touch his.

“Jona, when you scribbled all these things
about me, what did you suppose I was? Some kind of a sorcerer?”

No. Superman.

“I can’t tell.”
Yet.
“But there’s
definitely something wrong with you.” This close I could see his
brow lift in a startled way, so I quickly added, “You do things to
me and to others that seem…impossible.”

“Like resurrecting a duck?” To further point
out, he flipped the list in his hands displaying my
handwriting.

I stood rigid, the shudder skittering down
my spine tormenting me. “You have to admit all of the things listed
did happen. You’re capable of some special powers, and I don’t see
why you won’t tell me the truth.”

I would definitely get a chance to see a
padded cell from the inside if I didn’t stop this crazy
rambling.

“The truth is there’s nothing special about
me. Why are you making things up?”

“Liar!” The word burst out without me
thinking. Proof of his lying rang in his every word; reflected in
his clenched jaw, his averted gaze, and in the way he took a small
step backward. “It’s not like you can fool me with your average
clothes and your trying to act normal.” I ripped the sheet out of
his hands, not caring that it tore at the sides where he clasped
it. “I’m not Lois Lane.”

He frowned. “Lois Who?”

“Never mind. The thing is, I figured you
out. You may as well tell me everything.”

He chuckled, but there was no humor in his
laugh. “Did someone spike your drink tonight?”

“
Argh.”

His denials and calm attitude frustrated me
to no end. My teeth ground together, I restrained from
speaking.

The same man who had claimed he loved me not
ten minutes ago didn’t trust me enough to let me in on his secret.
And this might have been the most hurtful part of it all. Not the
fact that there was actually something weird going on, like
supernatural. I could handle that.

“It’s late,” I said, yearning for a break.
“I’m tired, and you should keep Charlene company at the party. We
can talk about this tomorrow.” When I was right in my mind again
and wouldn’t be thinking about kissing him every single moment.

“But there
is
nothing we need to talk
about.”

I sighed. “If you say so.” I hung my head
and returned to my room.

The chaos on the floor next to my desk would
have to wait to be tidied. Tonight, a strange mental exhaustion
overcame me. I slumped into bed fully dressed and with no thought
of tomorrow.

Due to my deep sleep, the return of my
family after the party escaped me. Morning already stretched into
noon when I woke again on Sunday.

The blanket was tucked nicely around me and
Marie’s sandals stood on the floor at the end of my bed. With the
balcony door open, I assumed it had been Julian again coming in. It
was difficult to tell what irritated me more. The fact that he
entered my room anytime he wanted, or that he seemed to care for me
one moment but then didn’t trust me enough to tell me anything
about himself.