Loving Your Lies (13 page)

With my attention focused on her, she
shocked me when her head suddenly snapped up. Her cheeks gaunt, the
bones stood out even more as her face lit up.

My heart stopped for a second. Every muscle
in my body tensed like wire. Bliss sparkled in her eyes. Her entire
composure seemed at the ready to pull me into a bear hug.

Run for your life
!
Panic
gripped me while my feet itched to take a flight. Had she gone
bananas? It took me only another moment to realize she actually
stared
through
me and at the door. Still under shock, I
turned my head, only to find the door closed. An instant later, the
handle pushed down. Julian slipped in.

His stern features changed to happy when his
gaze drifted to my mother. He dedicated the first smile to her. The
second one was meant for me.

I couldn’t explain what happened in this
room, but something was very wrong.

“Oh, you are here at last,” Marie beamed as
her husband followed after Julian. “So we can finally eat.”

The two men took a seat, Julian next to
me.

“Your face is a little sunburned,” he said.
His knuckles graced my cheek.

I flinched away, giving him a disgusted
snort. His hand dropped to the table top. Definitely offended, he
narrowed his eyes.

Marie’s lasagna smelled delicious, but for
some reason my appetite had disappeared. I poked bits of the meal
with my fork, shoving it around the plate. More than three
mouthfuls wouldn’t go down my throat. My stomach felt strangely
full.

Aunt Marie placed her soft hand on my
forearm. “What is the matter,
chérie
?
Are you not
hungry?”

The hair at my neck stood on end as I felt
Julian’s questioning look on me. Did he sense that he was the
source of my queasy feeling?

Don’t be ridiculous. How should he
know
?
I couldn’t even explain it to myself. To be
jealous of his relationship with my mother felt totally wrong.

“I guess it’s the heat that troubles me,” I
mumbled.

“Oh, of course, you are not used to the
French climate. What was I thinking?” Marie padded my hand. “Maybe
you should stay inside for the rest of the day.”

And be alone with the dragon? Panic washed
over me, tightening my grip of the fork until the white of my
knuckles showed. No way. I wouldn’t give her a chance to sneak
around me, trying to engage me into a chat. “I’m all right. I can
go out with you in the afternoon.”

Anyway, it was my last day around, and I
wanted to spend some more time in the vineyard before I headed off
to an uncertain destination after dark.

“Very well. Just let me know when it is
getting too much for you,” my aunt said in her ever so sweet French
accent. She pulled back her hand after giving mine a short squeeze
and returned to her food.

To evade Julian’s glances, I loosened the
strands hooked behind my ear and hid behind a curtain of hair.

When everyone had finished, Julian helped
Charlene back to her room. This was a good moment to talk to Marie
in the hallway.

“What did you do with Valentine this
morning? When you ripped out the bushes?”

She laughed. “We did not rip out the vine,
but picked weeds. We need to keep the ground clean of pest plants
which would soak up the minerals meant for the vines.”

“Can I help you with that?”

“Of course you can. But would you not rather
work with Julian. I thought you two had a nice time together. He
enjoys your company.”

And perhaps I enjoyed the time with him more
than I liked to admit. But it was a bad idea to get too close to
someone who was
allied
with a certain bitch. In fact,
getting close to anyone in this house was a bad idea. A small
twinge of regret already poked my chest when I thought of leaving
without saying goodbye to my aunt.

It was way time to sling my hook.

Eyes fixed on my mother’s door, I sighed.
“I’d much rather work with you than with him.”

Julian chose that exact moment to come out
of the room. My mouth hung open. I froze under his stare, my
shoulders tensed when he shut the door louder than necessary. A
muscle in his jaw ticked.

Slowly, he came toward me. My strained
expression hardened as I expected his pissed off remark. But he
walked right past me and headed outside.

“Marie, make sure she’s applying sunscreen
before she goes out again.” His hard tone cut to my core.

9

SPYING UNINTENDED

THE WIDE LEAVES of the grapevine swayed
before my eyes in the light summer breeze. Their luscious smell
filled my head, while dirt crept under my nails. My hands were sore
from pulling out wee plants by their roots. The muscles in my
slouched back protested.

It took a lot of effort not to cry out in
pain or quit digging and rest in the shade. I clenched my teeth as
pride kept me going. Minutes stretched into hours, and my body
screamed at me with the slightest move I made.

The aching seemed to lessen if I kept myself
distracted, so I took the chance to make plans for my imminent
departure. I’d pack my few belongings into my backpack before
taking a nap until around midnight. By then, everyone else should
be fast asleep.

The first few miles I could hike, or maybe
even try to hitch a ride in a car. Without money, taking a bus was
beyond question. To fund the flight, I was going to lift some money
off people at the airport. This option I preferred to the
alternative—taking money from Albert and Marie.

It wasn’t only the promise to Quinn that
kept me from stealing from my family’s house, but my aunt’s hurt
and disappointment when she would find out.

A glance over to Marie had me thinking about
a farewell letter to her. Although I didn’t plan to take any of her
clothes, I wanted to thank her for the nice meal she cooked me and
her generosity.

The thought of her sad face when she’d
notice my disappearance tugged at my hidden conscience. I stopped
thinking about her altogether and let the physical pain take over
control again. This sensation was easier to handle, if not for
long. Finally, I sagged heavily on my bottom.

“This looks easier than it is,
nó
?”
Marie’s soft chuckle charged the humid air. “You
should take a break and get a drink.”

I grabbed the water bottle from the ground
right next to me and lifted it to my lips. Liquid heaven filled my
Sahara dry mouth and throat. Legs crossed, I rested for a few
minutes and took the chance to study my aunt while she continued
ripping weeds with admirable passion. Her love for the vines was
almost tangible.

She had me wondering what would have become
of me with her patience and support. I might be holding a high
school degree now and ready to go to college. My days as a criminal
teenager probably would have never come. I hated how I had landed
in the gutter instead of my aunt’s care. But why hadn’t she
come?

Intrigued by this question since my arrival,
I swallowed hard. Eventually, I said, “Marie?”

Her smudged hands stopped, and she turned
her head to me. I cleared my throat, but words got stuck in it.

“What is it, Jona?” she prompted. The slight
tremble of my hands certainly didn’t escape her attention.

I swallowed past the lump that tried to keep
me from finding out the truth. “You seem happy to have me here. And
all the nice things you gave me—” I clasped my hands, lowering my
gaze. “Why didn’t you take me when my mother wasn’t fit for the job
and shoved me into the youth center?”

With a thrust, Marie embedded the small
spade in the earth and wiped her fingers on her shirt. On her
knees, she scooted over to me then cupped my face in her two dirty
palms. “
Chérie
, I would have brought you to France the very
instant. An orphanage is no place for a child.” The warmth in her
eyes showed all the love she had for me.

Where had she been during the past twelve
years then? As a kid I would have loved to live in an enchanted
place like these vineyards. Not quite a child anymore, I loved it
nonetheless.

The heel of my boot dug into the pebbly
ground. “Why didn’t you come get me?”

“Because I did not know of you,
chérie
.” She shook her head slowly, as though she couldn’t
believe the truth herself.

But what was she saying? She was Charlene’s
sister. Surely, my mother wouldn’t have kept me as a secret from
her family.

Aunt Marie took my hand and squeezed it.
“When your mother was about nineteen, she met that soldier from
England. His name was Jake, or Jack. She never told me his last
name. Charlene was determined to follow him to the island.
Never-dying love—I think those were her words.” Marie gave an
exhausted gasp. “Poor Charlene.”

From the disapproving frown on my aunt’s
face, I assumed my mother fell head over heels for a man who didn’t
return her love. An unexpected sting in my chest made me hunch a
little more. I ground my teeth, confused as to why
I
would
feel agitated when my mother wasn’t loved by the man she wanted to
be with.

“Our parents tried to talk sense into her.
They argued a lot. But in the end, my sister left us one night.
There was a little note of farewell which only told us not to go
looking for her.”

My mouth sagged open. Charlene took a run?
To a foreign country? She was braver than I actually gave her
credit for.

“Do you know what happened then?” The demand
in my voice surprised me.

“After a month, I received the first letter
from her. She told me she was all right, found work in a new
country, and rented a small flat.” Marie’s features turned sad. “I
think in total I received five or six of her letters over the
years, but she never put an address on the envelope where I could
have sent something back. It was terrible not to know where she
was. But the worst thing was that my parents never forgave her for
running away. They died four years ago without seeing their eldest
daughter again.”

I wondered if my mother felt sorry when she
heard about her parents’ deaths. “How come Charlene is living with
you now?”

Marie sat on the ground, hugging her knees
to her chest, legs crossed at the ankles. “A couple of months ago,
she returned, broken and sick. She needed care.”

And it was just like Marie to forgive her
older sister on the spot and offer her a home. Like she did with
me. I could do nothing but admire my aunt for her kindness. “Do you
know about her life in England?”

“I can only tell you what she told me.”
Marie’s brows furrowed. “She was with child when she left. The
soldier was your father, and she had to find him and tell him.”

A silent moment gave me the chance to
swallow my surprise. My aunt spoke about the man who fathered me.
Now, I understood why I felt sorry when I heard of this soldier
toying with my mother. He didn’t only hurt her, he abandoned us.
Abandoned me.

My chest constricted as I tried to breathe.
In this big world, didn’t there exist one person, who wanted me in
his life?

“He was based in the United States for a few
years. Your mother stayed in Britain, though, ashamed to return to
her family unwed and with a baby in her arms after all the fights
with our parents. She was certain they never would accept a child
out of wedlock. So she hid you from us. Never let us know.” Marie’s
sad eyes warmed when they intruded mine. “The mentality never
bothered me. I would have loved you all the same. You can imagine
my surprise when I learned what a lovely niece I have.”

Her loving words did little to sooth the
anger that was brewing along with her story.

What’s the point in bringing me here now,
when the time of detention would have ended for me in a few weeks?
Charlene had spoken of a home in France. Right, a home she’d denied
me for seventeen years. Damn that woman, I’d go and wring her bony
neck.

With a rush of energy, I rose to my feet and
paced down the line of shrubs.

Marie followed me and grabbed me by my
elbow. “What is wrong?”

“Because Charlene was ashamed of me, I had
to pay for my unworthy existence and spend my youth in a prison for
kids!” I yelled then yanked my arm free.

“Jona, wait!”

Her plea faded as my stride turned into a
run. I was going to strangle my mother.

Burning rage constricted my lungs, made it
hard to continue running. But I forged forward to the house. My
breaths erupted like the puffs of an active volcano. I kicked at
the ground hard. Stones shot in all directions as I let out some of
the frustration that boiled in me.

Cancer was one way to get rid of the dragon,
but today
I
would make sure her last hour finally came.

As I neared the house, I noticed that
someone had beaten me there. Through the wide window pane in the
parlor, I could see the dragon resting on the couch with Julian
taking a seat right next to her. Stopped dead, I kept to the low
line of bushes in the garden. I even held my breath for a second
then shook my head at my own silliness.

Drained of any healthy flush, Charlene
looked close to death with her arms lying lifeless by her side.
With a caring touch, Julian took my mother’s hand. His other hand
stroked first her fingers, then her forehead, wiping long,
colorless strands of hair from her face.

To catch the two in an intimate moment
ranked high on my
never-do-that
list. But for some reason, I
couldn’t tear my eyes away from the scene. Crossing to a weeping
willow, I hid in the long overhanging branches and peeked around
the trunk to catch another glimpse through the glass.

My mother’s eyes remained closed, but her
lips moved with an effort. I’d die to find out what she told him.
The stroking continued for a couple of minutes. All of a sudden,
Charlene’s eyes opened and focused on Julian’s face. Something she
saw there must have caused her pure happiness, for that was what
she radiated with both her face and body.