Nokea left the kitchen for a few minutes; then she came back with papers in her hand. She laid them in front of me. “All I'm asking for is a dissolution of our marriage and joint custody of our kids. I don't want a dime of your money or spousal support. The quicker we get this over with, the faster we can move on with our lives. All you have to do is sign and be done with it. If you need to take a day or two to have Frick look it over, please let him do so. He will tell you that there is nothing tricky about what I am asking.”
I wished Nokea would stop with the games. I knew what I'd done was wrong, but damn! This was going too far. “What about the baby, Nokea? You mean to tell me you still want a divorce when you're going to have our baby? This is our miracle child, and that baby is in your stomach for a reason. I'm not giving up on us. If I loved another woman as much as you seem to think I do, then I would walk with no problem. It ain't like that, baby, and my love is with you.”
She gazed at me, looking surprised that I'd known about the baby. “Sign them, Jaylin,” she said in a soft tone. “Sign the papers and let's end this.”
I inched the papers away from in front of me. “Not a chance in the devil's lonely hell. Never.”
“Fine, then. If you're contesting it, then I will soon see you in court. We'll let a judge decide what to do. If you think any judge is going to side with you, Jaylin, you're crazy.”
“I'm willing to take my chances. In the meantime, Mrs. Rogers, are you coming home to your children. Will you let me take care of you and my baby?”
Nokea had a cold, disturbing look in her eyes. “There is no baby.”
I pulled the insurance invoice from my pocket, knowing that she would lie to me. “Let's see,” I said, pointing to the paper. “You had a pregnancy test done on this day, and when I spoke to Dr. Kline today, he confirmed it. Are you calling Dr. Kline a liar?”
She sounded like a broken record when she snapped, “Sign the papers, Jaylin. I said, for the last time, there is no baby. Got it?”
Her voice sounded hard, and her neck twisted on the words “got it.” At that point, I had gotten it, I thought. I looked into her eyes and saw nothing but deviousness. I finally had seen how much she hated me. I sat for a moment, thinking. Now, if there wasn't no baby, then what in the fuck happened to it? I politely asked Nokea just that, quietly waiting for her to answer.
She was blunt. “I terminated theâ”
Before the words even left her mouth, I jumped up from my seat. I could have killed her, and as I gripped her throat, I wanted to do just that. Anger, hurt, pain-all of that, and then some, was running through me. My blood was boiling over and I could feel the tightness in my skin. As my head started to spin, that's when I heard Nokea gagging and I shoved her away. Her back slammed into the refrigerator and she tightly squeezed her stomach. Her chest was heaving in and out, and her cries were as loud as ever.
“I hate you!” she spat out. “To hell with having your gotdamn baby! I didn't want it!”
My fists tightened and I punched it into my chest. “I hate your ass too, Nokea. You went too fucking far! I swear to God, I could kill you right now! How ... could ... you?” I paused, turning around and squeezing my eyes together.
“Why did you make me hate you, when I loved you
so much!”
she shouted. I swiftly turned to look at her as she continued. “Didn't you want me to love you? Didn't you need for me to love you? After your mother died, nobody loved you, Jaylin, but me!” She punched her chest with her finger. “
I
loved you! Not your father, not your aunt, not her boyfriends, not Stephon, not your other cousins, and damn sure not that bitch, Scorpio! How could you do this crap to me!”
I swung my fists in the air, spit flying from my mouth. “Don't you think I know that shit! I'm well aware of how much you've been there for me, but don't you ever forget that I've been there for you too! I made one fucking mistake, Nokea! One! I am in no way perfect, and the last time I checked, neither are you! So what! We didn't have the perfect Cinderella life you always wanted, or the one your hypocritical-ass daddy told you you'd have! We have had a goodâmore than goodâlife together, and, unfortunately, sometimes shit happens, baby!” I held out my hands and moved closer to her.
My voice calmed... a little. “Aye, it's time to woman up and get over it. You had no muthafuckin' right to terminate your pregnancy without my consent. That baby was a blessing to us, and I don't care how upset you were with me. You should have consulted with me first. I will never, ever forgive you for this, and you knew how much joy that baby would have brought to us. So go ahead and hate me all you want. But at the end of the day, you're still not getting your fucking divorce.”
She kept on spewing her harsh words at me, but I tore up the divorce papers, throwing that shit at her. The shreds of paper fell over her and onto the ground. I wanted so bad to punch something. Instead of hitting her, I picked up a chair. In a rage, I slammed it to the ground, breaking it. I could barely catch my breath as I angrily eyeballed Nokea. I had no sympathy for her. I left before I did something that I'd later regret.
I weaved in and out of traffic, barely able to see straight as I blinked away the tears forming in my eyes. I thought about what Nokea had done to my baby. How could she do something that was so damn damaging to me and to her? She had to know that something like that would send me over the edge. It did, and the rage inside me was taking over.
Minutes later, I walked through the door of Scorpio's penthouse. After taking swift steps, I saw her sitting on a bar stool, watching Loretta cook. Scorpio saw the disturbing look in my eyes, and she quickly stood up. My eyes turned to Loretta.
“Exit now!” I ordered. “Thank you.”
She moved as quickly as she could, and I reached out for Scorpio's hand. I stepped toward the living room, but she squeezed my hand to halt my steps. I turned with no expression on my face, just blazing-red, fiery eyes.
“What's wrong?” she said, pulling me to her. She rubbed her hands through my hair. “Are you okay?”
I looked into her eyes, wanting to spill my guts. Instead, I pulled my shirt over my head and took her over to the couch. She lay back on it and I lay over her. I closed my eyes, pecking her soft lips with mine and letting my tongue turn circles in her mouth. My hands touched up and down her sweet-smelling body, and I broke open her shirt so I could see her nakedness. Scorpio continued to comb her fingers through my hair and wipe my sweat.
“Why are you doing this to yourself?” she softly asked. “Baby, you've got to stop this or you're going to make yourself crazy.”
I kissed her again; then I pecked down her neck. “Stop... Stop taking your birth control pills. Don't take them anymore, all right?”
She lifted my head, causing my eyes to stare into hers. “No. No, we're not going to have any more kids. You can't keep doing this to me, Jaylin, and what in the hell is going on with you?”
My dick couldn't even get hard from the turmoil I'd just experienced. I dropped my head on Scorpio's chest, releasing my anger. “She killed my fucking baby. Why she do that shit to me, huh? I fucked up, but how could she do that to me? Damn!”
Scorpio lay still, slowly rubbing up and down my back. “You didn't fuck up. You may have made some questionable decisions, but one of those decisions turned into a son that will be with you forever. Stop referring to him as a âmistake,' because he's not. How could you be disappointed about your son?”
“I'm not” was all I could say as I lay there being comforted by a woman who had given me her all.
SCORPIO
Needless to say, Jay Baby had been tripping. He was cursing people out and acting a fool again. I listened to him yell at somebody over the phone. When I asked who it was, he told me it was his lawyer, Mr. Frick. Jaylin told me that Nokea had filed for a divorce, and I really couldn't believe it. I do know, however, that he was simply not right. He had been late and slacking on picking up the kids. And for someone who was always prompt, I knew he was having a difficult time coping.
As far as his money was concerned, he told me he was sick of making money. Now, if there ever became a time that Jaylin was sick of making money, this was getting pretty serious. He briefly mentioned Shane doing a lot for the business, but Jaylin seemed as if he was done with work and wanted no part of the business he had basically turned over to Shane.
Earlier he'd picked up the kids, and was late as usual. Mackenzie told me that she had smelled alcohol on his breath. When he picked up the kids, I smelled it too. He assured me that he had taken only one drink; he promised me that he would take no more. But when I got a phone call later that night from a police officer at the police station, I almost lost it. The officer asked me to come get my children, because Jaylin had been arrested for a DUI. I drove Loretta's car, flying like a bat out of hell to get to the police station. They were nice enough to hand over my kids, but they said that Jaylin wouldn't be released until morning. The officer said that Jaylin needed time to sleep off the alcohol, and that's exactly what he was doing. I was mad as hell about his actions.
The next day, he showed up early in the afternoon. When I asked what had happened, he blew it off, acting like it was not a big deal.
“I can't believe you don't recognize how serious it is for you to ride around, drunk as hell, in the car with my children.”
He placed his arm on the couch, gazing at me from across the room. “I wasn't drunk. I was tipsy. That officer was just fucking with me. When he gave me a Breathalyzer test, the shit was a tad bit too high. He wanted to arrest me because I was âdriving while black.' Frick gonna handle that shit for me, so I'm cool.”
“No, you're not. You should really consider some type of counseling. I'm getting so worried about you. I don't want my kids ever to be put into a situation where they're faced with being in another car accident, like the last one. I'm not going back down that road again, and it was too devastating for my family.”
“They're my kids too, and I wouldn't put them in no fucked-up situation like that. As for counseling, what's up with all you stupid-ass people talking that mess? Why don't you muthafuckas go to counseling? Silly-ass shit,” he said, getting off the couch and calling for Mackenzie. She came into the living room. “Go and get your things. Let's go. Where's Justin?”
“He's coming. He's right behind me.”
Justin came running into the room. Before Jaylin got to him, I did. I picked him up and put him on my hip.
“They're not leaving with you right now,” I said. “Go home and chill for a moment. Think about what I've said to you. If you're becoming an alcoholic, you need to seek some help before it's too late. I would be a fool to let these kids go with you, especially when you're not even willing to admit that you were driving drunk last night. Maybe it's the first time that something like that has happened, but I can't take the risk.”
Now, of course, Jaylin was going to challenge me. I didn't always listen to everything he suggested, and there were some things that I remained firm on. When it came to our children, that was one thing. We started arguing, and it was the first argument we'd had since I'd been here. He was yelling so loudly that Mackenzie and Justin started crying. I asked him to get out, but he threw that back in my face.
“What a joke!” he said. “How you gon' order me out of something I paid for? What kind of shit is that?”
“Look, don't be mad at me because you did all of this. I didn't ask you for one gotdamn thing, so don't going throwing that crap up in my face.”
I sent Mackenzie to her room, and I made it clear to Jaylin, again, that she wasn't going anywhere. Boy, did he hate to be told no. When he left, he called me something underneath his breath. Since he didn't say it out loud, I didn't trip.
“Coward,” I spat out, saying it right before the door slammed.
For the next few days, Jaylin hadn't called or shown up. Did he realize that he was hurting no one but himself? I guess he realized it eventually, because he called to talk and explain. I leaned over on the kitchen counter to listen to him.
“Look, you know I've been dealing with some stuff, and you were right about me drinking and driving. I assure you, though, that it was a onetime incident. I love my kids too much, and I would never harm them in any way.”
“Accidents happen, Jaylin. Before my accident, I said the same thing too. I could have lost Justin and Mackenzie in an instant. I'm glad you understand what I was saying, and please don't ever do that again.”
“I won't. Where my babies at?”
“They're sleeping. We drove to Loretta's cousin's house today and she barbecued. We hung out with them for a while and pretty much enjoyed ourselves.”
“That's good. Glad y'all had fun. Are you in the mood for some more fun?”
“You mean to tell me you actually asked me this time. Normally, you come busting through here, dropping your clothes at the door. You don't even give me time to prepare myself, and one day you're going to mess around and dip yourself into something that ain't right.”
“You always right, baby. I like that sweet tang on your pussy, and that spontaneous shit turns me on.”
“Sweet tang? Is that really what you want to call it?”
“I call it as I see fit.”
Jaylin hung up. When I turned my head to the right, he was standing in my view.
“I'm warning you,” I said, laughing. “You'd better stop this. I haven't even had my shower today.”
He nudged his head to the right. “Then let's go shower together. How about that? And this time, I'm asking.”
Since Jaylin had been so stingy with the goods, I was always gaming. He chased me upstairs to my shower, and the water had turned cold on us. Even so, I couldn't ignore that Jaylin had a hint of alcohol on his breath. This was definitely becoming a problem.
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The next few days left me worried sick whenever Jaylin took the kids. He seemed fine, but I was skeptical about what was happening when he got home. I was so worried that I felt a desperate need to speak with Nokea. She had his children too, and I would truly regret if something happened to any of them. The other night, I had gotten Shane's phone number from Jaylin's phone. I called Shane and he answered, thank God. I expressed my concerns to him and told him about my desires to speak with Nokea. At first, he didn't want any part of what I wanted to do. I begged him, swearing that I in no way wanted to cause any trouble. This was all about doing the right thing. I felt relieved when he gave me Nokea's address so I could go talk to her.
The following day, I prepared myself to pay her a visit. I threw on an orange T-shirt, blue jeans and wore my hair in a ponytail. Surely, I could look much nicer, but this issue with Jaylin was so serious to me that I didn't want Nokea to feel intimidated in any way. It had been a long time since we'd last seen each other, and yes, there was still a lot of jealously and envy between us.
I went to the door, taking a deep breath before I knocked. I wasn't sure how she would react. At the end of the day, though, Nokea had always been a pretty sensible woman. With that, I lightly knocked on her door and waited for a few minutes. She didn't respond immediately. When I knocked again, I heard her softly ask who I was.
“It's Scorpio, Nokea. If you have a minute, I'd like to speak to you.”
There was nothing said for a minute, maybe two. Then she opened the door. It was ten o'clock in the morning, and she was still in her cotton pajamas. Her hair looked freshly done, and she was still as pretty as I remembered her. I had never been jealous of another woman in my life, but I was of her. She widened the door, looking me over.
“Scorpio, what is this about? Jaylin and I aren't together anymore andâ”
“I just need to talk to you. I'm deeply concerned about some things, and you know I wouldn't be here if this wasn't important.”
She sighed and let me inside. The condo she lived in was decorated with modern furniture, and I must admit, she had good taste. She invited me to take a seat on the microfiber cocoa brown sofa and I did. Nokea sat in the matching chair, tucking one of her legs underneath her. She placed her hand on her cheek, waiting on me to say what I came to say.
“It's been a long time, Nokea, and I regret that I have to come to you like this, considering the damage you think I may have caused.”
She couldn't wait to chime in. “You have definitely caused a lot of damage, and I don't understand how any woman can continue to chase after another woman's husband for so many years. It's ridiculous! And if all you've come here to do is gloat about your trifling actions, you're wasting your time.”
Yes, I was taken aback by her tone, even though it was what I expected. I kept my cool. “Your tone is fair, but I hope you don't forget about Jaylin's participation in this as well. I have not been chasing after him, and you are so wrong about us. I don't know if you've spoken to him lately or not, but he seems to be getting somewhat out of control. I know he's going through a lot because of the divorce or separation, but I'm here because of the kids. He's been drinking a lot. The other night, he was arrested for a DUI. My kids were in the car with him, but I figured yours were not. I don't know if he's driving around with LJ and Jaylene under those conditions or not, but I just wanted to warn you. He's not stable, and I sense something very tragic may happen.”
“I know about some of the things that are going on. When the kids come here, they tell me. I wasn't aware that Jaylin had been doing any heavy drinking. I will definitely find out what is going on with him on that end. Thanks for the warning.”
There was silence, and I could tell she was ready for me to go. But having so much more to say to her, I looked down at my nails and fumbled with them. “You know, I'm glad I've gotten this opportunity to speak to you, and IâI really want you to know a few things, Nokea.” I looked up and could see the daggers being shot at me. She still remained calm as ever. “What happened between Jaylin and me several years ago was not supposed to happen. I was getting married soon, and when he came to my house that night, I had a difficult time letting him walk away. When I found out I was pregnant, I was so sure that the baby belonged to my husband. But then, when I had my son, I knew that not to be true. I never wanted to break up your marriage andâ”
She cut me off again, and her lips were slightly pursed. “I find that hard to believe, Scorpio, and you are such a liar. You've always wanted to be married to Jaylin, and you have never respected his decision to marry me. He made his choice. Why in the heck couldn't you just live with it?”
I sighed, trying to cope with her attitude. “The marriage was difficult for me to accept, and with that, I couldn't respect it. I thought our last time together would be it, and no one would ever find out. I kept my son a secret. No matter what you think, I intended to do so forever. I wanted no one to know the truth but me, and that's when the car accident happened. I wanted Jaylin to be there for Mackenzie, because my husband, her own biological father, had abandoned her again.” I took a deep breath, pausing to wipe a falling tear. “He found out the baby wasn't his, and I still struggled with telling Jaylin the truth. I knew how much damage it would cause, Nokea, and I didn't want that. Jaylin, being Jaylin, found out Justin was his. I felt so bad for betraying him again. When he asked me to move here for the sake of being with his children, I couldn't say no to him, especially after all that he'd done for me.”
Nokea snapped at me again. “Saying no seems so hard for you to do, doesn't it?”
“At times. But I'm not trying to go on the attack here. We both know how persuasive Jaylin can be, and living in his world definitely ain't easy.”
Nokea folded her arms and cleared her throat. “You got that right. I guess I really want to know, how in the heck did you-all think this would some way or somehow work out? You may as well have moved into our house with us, just so Jaylin could have access to you and me both. We've all been in turmoil over this. Things are going to get worse, before they get better. If I would have allowed Jaylin to move you into that house with your children, he would have gladly accepted my offer. This mess has been going on for too long, Scorpio, and I am so done with it. Once our divorce is final, please marry him and do whatever. I don't care anymore. I'm sick of it. As far as I'm concerned, his world no longer exists.” Her voice cracked, but Nokea was doing her best to hold back her tears.