“I do give you advice, but you don't listen. You got this controlling thing about you, Jay, and I can't believe how selfish you are about some things.”
I pretended to be in denial, because I recognized I had some issues with being selfish and controlling. “I am the most giving man you and I both know. I pay my taxes on time. I give to those in need. I make donations to charities. I buy my kids anything they want. Look at all I've done for you. How can you sit there and call me âselfish'?”
“I said âselfish about some things,' particularly when it comes to women. It's like you're only willing to give so much, and what they think or want don't matter. It's your way, or no way. You expect for them to accept whatever you dish out. After a while, Jay, that shit gets old.”
I placed my hand on my chest. “Shane, you've insulted me. If I could get up from here right now and take you to Scorpio's penthouse, you would take back everything you said. Look at how Nokea lived. She didn't want for nothing, and how is it that I've been so selfish to her?”
He shrugged and smirked. “You should see that condo Nokea is living in, as that may set you back too. Pertaining to you, though, you don't get it. It's useless talking to you. You're referring to the material shit. I won't add my two cents about Scorpio, but Nokea don't give a damn about this house. That's why she tore this mutha up like she did, and kicked your ass in the process,” he said, laughing.
She did kick my ass, but I didn't quite find it as humorous as Shane did. Either way, he continued talking.
“You're selfish because you don't consider her feelings. And if you do, you always ... always put your needs before hers. In a marriage, you can't do that.” Shane pointed to his chest. “A single man like me can get away with it, but you can't. You have got to think about your wife's needs and feelings too. That's all I'm saying, bro, and you need to correct yourself on that shit.”
I kept quiet for a minute, thinking. “I feel you. I definitely feel what you're saying, but it may be too late for me. I got myself all fucked up in love with two women. One, of course, way mo love than the other.”
Shane cocked his head back, then stood up. He stood over me and leaned down close. “No, no,” he said. “You love only one woman and her name is Nokea. Let me kind of straighten some shit out for you. Since I'm your psychiatrist and all, I want you to do something for me.”
I inched over a little on the couch, 'cause Shane was breathing down my neck. “Hold up. Why you all close like that and shit? Nigga, back up.”
He stood up and folded his arms. “Shut up and close your eyes.”
“For what?”
“Just do it, so your ass can learn something about love. I want you to think about some things.”
I sighed and closed my eyes.
“Okay, go back to the last three times you were intimate with Scorpio,” he said. “Are you there?”
“Yes,” I said, quickly thinking about our sex session in her kitchen the day she moved to Miami.
“You can see it and feel it, can't you? She throwing that pussy at you, and your shit about to explode, right?”
I nodded and smiled.
“Yes.
Definitely yes.”
“Them pretty-ass titties rolling around, and that pussy so wet you can't hardly stand to be in it.”
“Dripping wet, and my dick glazed like a Krispy Kreme doughnut. I'm getting hard right now just from thinking about it.”
“I'll bet,” Shane said, patting my back. “ Been there, done that, but go to the moment when y'all just about to see fireworks. The pace increasing and she screaming how much she loves you. You may or may not be saying shit, right? Other than moaning, of course.”
“Oh, by now, I'm saying a lot. I may have tossed the âlove' word around, but I'm not too silent either.”
“Fine. But here it comes,” Shane said, getting closer to me. “Pay attention, all right?”
I nodded.
“You come and all of your juices are rushing into her. When it's all over, you take a second or two to regroup. Then... what do you do? Think hard, Jay. This is crucial.”
In my head, I played out the last three times Scorpio and I had had sex. Two out of the three times, after I got my nut, I left.
“I left and went home. The other time I was at a hotel, but I left the hotel early.”
“And?” Shane said.
I opened my eyes. “And what? So what, fool, I left.”
Shane smiled, but I was still confused. All this thinking bullshit made me hard as ever. Honestly, I was anxious to go get a late-night snack.
Shane sighed, telling me to close my eyes again. Just for the hell of it, I did.
“Now switch your thoughts to Nokea. Think about the last three times you had sex with her.”
I smiled, thinking about that dress she wore at the party and the lovemaking we did that night.
“Are you there yet?” he asked.
“Yeah, I'm in there. I'm deep, deeply in there.”
“Go deeper. Suck them titties, lick that pussy and think about how you felt when that ass was bent over and you could view your insertions from behind. You were crazed, weren't you?”
“Yes,” I admitted. “Damn near losing my
miiind.”
I thought about Nokea's perfect arch in her back, which always raised her titties so I could suck them. Her slit, which I loved to watch myself go into. And the way I sucked her clit, which I referred to as her “sweet raisin in the sun.”
“It's good to you. Ain't it, dog?”
“Spectacular.”
“Okay, now take yourself to those final moments. Y'all about to wrap it up. Think about what's happening.”
“The last few times, we were kissing each other, barely able to catch our breaths. Words of love were being exchanged, and tears were definitely in our eyes. My sperm shot out like water from a fire hydrant....”
“Bam!”
Shane said. “Your juices were swimming, and after they found home, what did you do? Think hard.”
“We ... We went at it again, and again....”
“After the âagain, and again' was over, what did you do?”
“I cuddled my wife in my arms. I constantly kissed her throughout the night and I dreaded leaving her side in the morning.”
Shane smacked me hard on my back. “Nigga, that's love!” he shouted. “You don't walk out on love, once you get what you want! You stay there with it. If you go back to the many, many encounters you and Scorpio had, most of the time, you got up out of that bed and walked! Even while she was living with you. She was there for convenience, and there were times that you couldn't even stand to be in the same bed with her. In this house with Nokea, how many times have you found yourself breaking off to another room to sleep? Are you in a rush to depart from her? Hell nah! And one more thing,” Shane said, poking my shoulder, “go back to your first thoughts of both of them. I bet you one thousand dollars, you said, in your head, that you had sex with Scorpio and made love to Nokea. Tell me it ain't so.”
I went back to my thoughts, and Shane was correct. I thought about Scorpio's and my
sex session
in the kitchen, and thought about the last time Nokea and I
made love.
I smiled, for this fool had seriously messed with my mind. He leaned his head over my shoulder and asked, “Who you love, Jay? What's her name again?”
“Nokea,” I answered, chuckling.
He put his hand behind his ear. “Say it again. I can't hear you.”
“Nokea, nigga. Nokea muthafucking Rogers.”
Shane patted his hand on my chestâhard. “That's what I'm talking about, partna. Now stop talking crazy and go fix that shit. I'll give you her address tomorrow, but for now, I'm going to bed. You done wore my ass out, and since you've been sitting around all choked up about your wife, I gotta go take care of some business tomorrow so we can make some money. Good night, and I'll send you an invoice in the mail for my services.”
Shane went to his bedroom and closed the door. I was still confused as ever. Lust or love, I had been feeling something deep for Scorpio. There was no way I would have allowed any woman to come in and cause the damage she'd done
if I didn't love her,
would I? Maybe I was in denial and couldn't acknowledge my feelings because I didn't want to. I had to fess up. Whether Shane believed me or not, I definitely had love for two women. No one could convince me otherwise. Besides that, I, Jaylin Jerome Rogers, knew what was deeply in my heart, so case closed.
SCORPIO
My nanny, Loretta, was a Mexican diva, and even though she was in her fifties, she and I had become good friends. I didn't know where Jaylin had found her, but she was a true joy to be around. Whenever the kids were with Jaylinâlately that had been quite oftenâLoretta and I would go places to hang out. She took me to a lot of the exquisite shops in Miami, and we enjoyed relaxing on the beach. I'd been trying so many different foods that it was starting to make me gain weight. The food was delicious, and those few pounds that I had lost came back on easily.
Things with Jaylin and me were going as expected. He really was all about his kids, and we hadn't spent much time together at all. I had started taking birth control pills, but it really didn't seem necessary. After that first day I'd moved here, he hadn't even approached me about sex again. I knew he was going through some things with Nokea, and I wondered how she was handling all of this. Mackenzie told me that they'd been spending most of their time at Jaylin's house. She even told me Shane was there. I had not known he had moved to Miami too. Mackenzie mentioned how excited she was to see Nanny B. As far as Nokea, though, she was not there. With that information, I knew all of this was hard on Nokea.
It was hard on all of us. To be honest, Jaylin never should have proposed to either one of us. He was a man who liked to do whatever he wanted to do, and it was just a matter of time that their marriage would get to this point. Pertaining to me, even if Jaylin tried to put a ring on it, as much as I loved him, I wouldn't accept it. Being married to him didn't make sense, and we all knew that it was a big risk living in his world. As long as he continued to be there for me in the way that he was, I wasn't being stupid. Just the oppositeâI was doing what worked best for my children and me.
The other day, Justin had finally turned two. I had to hurry up and celebrate my day with him, because Jaylin was here before noon to pick up the kids. He didn't return with them until almost midnight that day, and they were all so excited about the party Justin had at Jaylin's house. According to Mackenzie, Shane and his girlfriend Tiffanie, and some of the neighbor's kids, were there. They went swimming in the outdoor pool that had slides; then they played games, took a ride on Jaylin's yacht, and ate lots of cake and ice cream. Mackenzie said they even rode on Jet Skis, and she talked about how well LJ could already ride one. She said that she wanted to learn, and Jaylin had shown her how. It sounded pretty dangerous to me, but I was glad that they all had fun. Afterward, Jaylin had brought me a piece of cake, and it was so moist and delicious. He said Nanny B had made it, and it was good to know that she had accepted my children. I wasn't sure how she felt about the whole thing, but I knew she would have Jaylin's back, no matter what.
That same night, Jaylin seemed so happy, especially because Justin was calling him “Daddy” now. Justin actually got a little antsy when he knew Jaylin was leaving; and as always, Mackenzie had an attitude too. That's just the kind of connection he had developed with his kids. Even though he was going through his issues with his marriage, I knew his kids were preventing him from going insane. As much as I tried, I didn't have what it took to keep him happy. And to be honest, I didn't think Nokea did either. It was his children, and maybe Jaylin would start to figure that out.
As giddy as he seemed that day, I thought he'd stay the night with me. He said he'd catch up with me next week, and I wasn't sure if that was to celebrate my birthday or not. Mine was a week later than Justin's and I couldn't believe I was turning thirty-four years old. Time had definitely gotten away from me. I had known Jaylin now for six years. To me, it seemed like a lifetime.
Â
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The day of my birthday, Jaylin called and said he was on his way to get the kids. I waited for him to wish me a happy birthday; but before I knew it, he hung up. When he got here, he seemed to be in a rush. He was doing something with his BlackBerry, and barely even said hello. I knew he'd forgotten about my birthday, but I made it clear to Mackenzie that she was not to say one word to him about it. She promised me that she wouldn't, and she gave me a beautiful card that she'd made herself. I kissed the card and placed it on the refrigerator with a magnet.
Around noon, Loretta took me to lunch. She invited two of her friends to come along. We sat outside the restaurant, under a huge umbrella, having a blast. We talked about our lives, politics, reality-TV shows and men. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had so much fun. When the waiters came outside to sing “Happy Birthday” to me, I was too excited. We all tore into the three-tier double-chocolate cake they gave me and clinked our wine glasses together.
As the day went on, I went shopping with the ladies, and then we had dinner together. By eight o'clock that night, we decided to go out dancing. I stood in my closet, picking through one after-five dress to another. I reached for my turquoise silk minidress that was sleeveless and had a diagonal cut across my chest. It wrapped around my curves and fit my waistline perfectly. My backside looked especially good in it. If the dress had been cut any higher, I would definitely be in trouble. I brushed my hair over to one side, leaving a flow of fluffy curls to rest on one shoulder. “Too sexy” was displayed on my forehead, and I couldn't wait to have even more fun than I already had earlier.
The nightclub that Loretta took me to was more like a bar-and-grill joint that had a dance floor and loud music. More Mexicans were in the place than anyone, but the club also had its share of Blacks and Whites as well. Nearly everyone had on sombreros, and a man sitting on the stage with one on his head was working the heck out of a Mexican maraca and drums. Everybody was clapping along with the music, and he had the place rocking. We sat at a table that had an array of martinis, tequilas, beer, and wine covering it. I drank so much. Before I knew it, I was up on the floor with everyone else, shaking my rump, clapping my hands and swinging my hair from side to side. The men were all over me, and Loretta kept encouraging me to go dance. After a while, sweat was dripping from my body. I had to sit down to take a break.
“This is fun, isn't it?” Loretta asked, sampling the tortilla chips on the table.
“Too much fun,” I said, wiping my upper chest and forehead with a napkin. “Thank you so much for bringing me here. Do you come here often?”
“I've been coming here for years. It's relaxing, you know.” She snapped her fingers and wiggled her shoulders. “You can come here to get loose, have fun and let your hair down.”
I took a sip from my glass of tequila and cleared my throat to help the burning. “Hey, Loretta,” I asked. “How did you get to know Jaylin? You're such a wonderful person, and I often wondered how he managed to find a nanny of your caliber.”
She spoke loudly over the music. “I cleaned house for his neighbors. He and I would always speak, and he approached me about working for him. The people I worked for gave me good references and”-Loretta rubbed her fingers togetherâ“the money he offered to pay a little woman like me, I could not deny.”
“Well, I'm glad he found you.” I reached out to give Loretta a hug.
“Me too,” she said, patting my back. “Me too.”
A few minutes later, my cell phone rang and I pulled it from my purse. Straightening my hair, I pulled it back over to one shoulder and answered the phone.
“Hello,” I said, knowing it was Jaylin.
“Hey. Just wanted to let you know that the kids are staying the night with me. I'll bring them home in the morning.”
“Okay. Did you-all have a good day today?”
“Don't we always?”
“Yes. But I was just making sure, that's all.”
“We good. All good. Sleep tight, and I'll see you tomorrow.”
“Sure. Kiss my babies for me, and I'll see you soon.”
Jaylin hung up, and I was somewhat disappointed that he'd forgotten about my birthday. I knew he had a lot on his mind, so I didn't take it personal. Instead, I continued my conversation with Loretta. A couple of hours later, we decided to shut it down and go. Loretta had gotten a little tipsy too. For such a short woman, she could hold her liquor better than me. She threw her sheer shawl over her shoulder and laughed because we had to take a taxi back home.
When we entered my penthouse, we couldn't stop laughing our butts off. Nothing was really funny, other than the security guard who had the biggest nose we'd ever seen. With the alcohol in our system, his nose looked even bigger. I could barely catch my breath. When Loretta got to her room, she fell back on the bed, gripping her stomach.
“Whew,” she said, throwing her hand back. “He really needs to get some plastic surgery. That nose was out to here, like Pinocchio.” She gave an example of how long it was and kept laughing.
“Thank you again,” I said, trying to contain my laughter. “I had a good time and I'm taking my butt to bed.”
“Me too.”
I stepped away from the door and could still hear Loretta laughing. It took me a minute to get from her room to the kitchen. I opened the fridge to get me a bottled water, but I noticed there weren't any cold. I closed the fridge and stumbled my way to the elevator. Normally, I would have taken the spiral staircase to my bedroom. The way my sore feet were feeling, though, I didn't think I'd make it. I took off my shoes, holding them in my hands. I then pushed the button for the elevator to open. When it did, my tired eyes were focused on the shiny floor. I slowly lifted my head; and when I looked up, Jaylin stood on the elevator, leaning against the back wall. His arms were folded, and he was naked. Every muscle in his body was on display. My eyes scanned down his tanned body, observing his cut abs and smooth shaven hair above his dick, which had a neat red ribbon tied on it. A tiny round birthday cake was balanced in his hand, and one candle was on top.
“Happy birthday,” he said. “I thought you'd never get here.”
I stepped onto the elevator, dropping my shoes to the floor and taking the cake from his hand. Unfortunately, that hit the floor too, as I obviously was in no mood for cake. I squatted, carefully opening my present by removing the ribbon tied to his dick with my mouth. As soon as I sucked in a taste of the best gift I'd ever had, Jaylin backed away from me. He picked me up, and my legs wrapped around his waist. He raised the hem of my dress. Since I didn't have on any panties, the access was easy. While plunging into me, he sucked down my salty neck and massaged my breasts. I wanted more, so I hit the up button on the elevator. It went up to my room, and we inched our way off the elevator and fell back on the bed. I didn't have to tell him how great the sex was. Jaylin made sure I had a memorable birthday that I would never forget.
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The alcohol from the previous night had me dead as a doornail. When I woke up, Jaylin was gone. A pretty pink rose and card sat beside me. I couldn't wait to open the card, but first I placed my hand between my legs to touch my tender coochie. Jaylin certainly tore it up. As I thought about last night, I realized he just couldn't get enough. He had never sucked me for so long, and all I could remember was the multiple orgasms I'd let loose. I smiled from the thought; then I opened the card. It read:
I know you thought I'd forgotten about you, but there isn't a chance in hell that I would ever forget about a woman who has given me so much. You are the bomb! Happy Birthday, Scorpio. I hope your drunk ass enjoyed your night. By the way that pussy talked to me, I can tell you did. See you soon. Love, Jay Baby.
Like I had said, I couldn't remember the last time I'd been this happy. I was starting to get the picture about what our relationship meant. I rescued him in his time of need, and he rescued me. It seemed as if he would be there for me, always, and I would always be there for him. I knew Jaylin's love for me had limitations ... so what? I was satisfied with it and with his support and relationship with our children. What woman could ask for more? I couldn't. And with all of the cheating, lazy and good-for-nothing men out there, I doubted that I would find a man of Jaylin's stature anywhere else.