Authors: Alex Hairston
For Lovers Only (15 page)
“Yeah, but you need to stop lying to me and to yourself.”
“All right. I'm gone.”
“Peace.”
Joel hung up the phone and headed out to answer the door, but before he could make it he saw that it was opening slowly. Joel naturally assumed that it was Erin until he heard a voice that didn't belong to her.
A familiar feminine voice said softly, “Hello, Joel. I'm coming in.”
All of a sudden the bright sunlight from earlier was blocked by a cluster of annoying gray clouds. Joel couldn't believe his eyes. He stared at Renee as if she was a ghost, and that's kind of what she looked like. For the first time in years she was without her makeupâbarefaced and unashamed. Joel could clearly see that she had trouble in her eyes.
“Oh, hell no! How you just gonna come marching your ass up in here like you own something. You turned in your key the day you walked out and that means you don't belong here. You gotta go.”
Strolling into the living room at a snail's pace, looking pitiful and preoccupied Renee said, “Can't you see thatâ”
Joel rudely interrupted. “Doesn't matter.” Renee kept moving toward Joel's sofa. She was about to sit. “Don't even sit down. You don't have time to get comfortable. I have a new friend right across the hall and she'll be back over here any minute. I'm not trying to mess things up because of you. Like I already said, you gotta go.”
Joel automatically assumed that Renee had come crawling back because of an argument or breakup between her and Robert. He had no sympathy for Renee whatsoever. The fact that he had just found out from Ms. Benson that Renee had Robert in his apartment the day she moved out didn't help matters much either.
Renee pleaded, “Please, can you just listen?”
“Make it quick, real quick.”
“My mother passed away last night.”
Joel's heart sank. “Oh no! Renee, I'm so sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do?”
“More than anything I just need you to be a friend to me right now. Is that too much to ask?”
“I guess not. I feel terrible. You could have told me your mother passed away as soon as you came through the door.”
Renee looked at Joel like he was crazy and said, “I tried, but you didn't give me the chance. I'm sure you could see by the look on my face that there was something out of the ordinary going on.”
“I'm sorry. But seriously, you're the last person I expected to see walk through that door. Man, I'm really sorry for your loss. Was Mrs. Rhodes sick?”
“These days you don't even have to be sick to die. They think it was a brain aneurysm that killed her, but they won't know for certain until after the autopsy.”
“I'm sure this is a lot to deal with. Go ahead and have a seat.”
Renee sat on Joel's sofa and said, “Thanks. I still consider this apartment home.” Joel gave her a cheap smile. Out of respect for her dead mother he held back his rude comments. Renee could see that things were different. She shifted in her seat and got the conversation back on track. “You can't even begin to imagine how much I have to deal with. I have to go over to Northwest Hospital and break the news to my sister.”
“Hospital? What's wrong with Cheryl?”
“She was diagnosed with uterine fibroids and had surgery done yesterday. The bad thing is that she had to have a hysterectomy. Her doctor said that it will take her a couple of weeks to recover. She was already depressed about having to have the hysterectomy and the idea of never being able to give birth again really had her down. Now Momma's death is just gonna add even more stress.”
Joel was conscious of every passing second. His thoughts were scattered all over the place. He wanted to show Renee as much sympathy as possible, but at the same time he didn't want her to take advantage of his kindness. He wanted to get across the hall to make sure things were working out okay for Erin. He knew that she looked too damn good to be left alone with a gang of horny movers gawking at her.
Instead of ending things and letting Renee go about her business, Joel continued to be considerate and understanding. He sat down on the leather chair adjacent to the sofa and said, “When you break the news to Cheryl you should have the hospital's chaplain there for added support.” He paused for a moment. “How's your father holding up?”
“He's not. My dad is a total wreck.”
Joel had to gather his thoughts. He sighed. “I'm sorry to hear about your family's troubles and all, but now that I think about it ... I really don't understand why you're here. A phone call would have been good enough. Shouldn't you be with Robert? According to your little message from yesterday, things sounded as if the two of you were deeply in love and about to get married or something. You said you knew who you were and what you wanted.”
Renee shook her head and said, “Don't believe the hype, Joel. I don't even know why I called you, talking all that bull. Things aren't even like that. I think the novelty has worn off already. Now I know that Robert is more into having a forbidden love affair than a regular relationship, because he has full access to me and only wants me half of the time. What's up with that?”
“Another woman ... definitely another woman. You're getting played. It's karma. I'm not rejoicing or anything, but that's exactly what it is. I was hoping things were working out for you because I've moved on.”
With a sad expression Renee said, “I'm happy for you. I honestly thought I had finally found happiness. The last time I talked to Robert, he called me crazy. Why would he call me crazy?”
Joel paused, while a million reasons why Robert would have called Renee crazy went through his mind. “I found out that you had Robert in here helping you move out. Why would you bring him in here?” He shook his head and said, “No respect.”
Renee began to cry. “I'm so sorry for that. I was wrong, and that's why everything is falling apart now. I wanted to talk to you because you know me so well, and you knew my mother. I thought it would be best to tell you in person what happened to her, since I was already in the area. And I just wanted to see you again. I really messed up. I jumped the gun and moved out of here too quick.”
“Why are crying like that? Are you crying over your mother or us?”
Renee shrugged. “I shouldn't have come here. I don't know what's wrong with me. Where is my pride?”
“I understand why you're here. It's called closure.”
“Yeah.”
“There's no need to feel ashamed or embarrassed. Sometimes love has a way of being stronger than pride, and I proved that to you so many times it's not funny.”
“I can honestly say that I keep finding myself falling in and out of love with you. Didn't you know I'd come back one day?”
“No.”
“My mother's death was some sort of wake up call for me. I thought it was sign, telling me to follow my heart back to you before it was too late.” Renee broke down and cried harder than ever. “I keep forgetting that my mother is gone. I almost called her this morning. Her cell phone number is still programmed in my phone. My mind switches from one topic to another and then reality hits so hard and suddenly reminds me thatâmy mother is gone,” Renee said, as she continued boohooing and crying like a baby.
Joel got up, sat next to Renee and put his arm around her. This was his way of offering compassion and forgiveness. “I don't know how much being here with me helps. It might be adding to your stress and anxiety, but I hope this makes you feel a little better. I forgive you for cheating and for walking out on me.”
Renee hadn't felt so comfortable or safe in weeks. She rested her head against Joel's head and let out a soft sigh of relief. Within a couple of seconds Joel heard footsteps headed toward his front door. He became so anxious that he wished he could stop time or become invisible. There was a tiny knock at his front door and then it opened. Erin stepped into Joel's living room. She saw Joel with his arms wrapped around a crying woman and she instinctively knew it was his ex-girlfriend, Renee. Her blood was boiling and she had to fight to hold back her emotions.
What the hell was going on?
What the hell was going on?
Chapter 14
E
rin's initial reaction was to bring the drama worse than an ignorant guest on the Jerry Springer show. The sight of Joel consoling another woman was disturbing. But instead of acting real ghetto, Erin decided to use her brain and excellent coping skills. She softened her look of uneasiness and annoyance because she didn't know the cause of Renee's unmistakable sadness. The last thing Erin wanted was to be an embarrassment to herself or Joel. She tried her best not to jump to conclusions, even though all sorts of ideas were already bouncing around in her head.
rin's initial reaction was to bring the drama worse than an ignorant guest on the Jerry Springer show. The sight of Joel consoling another woman was disturbing. But instead of acting real ghetto, Erin decided to use her brain and excellent coping skills. She softened her look of uneasiness and annoyance because she didn't know the cause of Renee's unmistakable sadness. The last thing Erin wanted was to be an embarrassment to herself or Joel. She tried her best not to jump to conclusions, even though all sorts of ideas were already bouncing around in her head.
Erin thought to herself,
God, please don't let another man do this to me again. I don't know if my heart could take another letdown so soon. I have faith in You and Joel. I'm attractive and confident. There's no need for me to act like a fool. There has to be a legitimate reason for this.
God, please don't let another man do this to me again. I don't know if my heart could take another letdown so soon. I have faith in You and Joel. I'm attractive and confident. There's no need for me to act like a fool. There has to be a legitimate reason for this.
A look of uneasiness was plastered on Joel's face. His eyes were apologetic. He sat motionless, with his arm still draped around Renee. He thought it was best that he act natural because he didn't want to appear guilty. As Joel looked at Erin he was relieved that he didn't see any obvious signs of anger or hostility.
Joel was about to speak, but words flowed from Erin's mouth first. Appearing very poised and polite she said, “I'm sorry for interrupting. I shouldn't have barged in here like that. Joel, I just wanted to see what the holdup was, and to let you know that the movers are almost done. I'll be across the hall.”
Joel stood up and said, “Erin, wait. You don't have to go, and you don't have to apologize for anything. It's fine that you felt comfortable enough to just come right in. You're not interrupting anything and I don't have anything to hide. This is my ex, blah, blah, blah.”
With plenty of attitude Renee asked, “What?”
“I meanâthis is Renee.” Then Joel turned to Renee and said, “This is my beautiful friend and hopefully soon-to-be girlfriend, Erin.”
Erin and Renee reluctantly exchanged greetings.
Erin flashed a facial expression that said,
Don't mess with me and my man
.
Don't mess with me and my man
.
Renee's facial expression said,
He was mine first
.
He was mine first
.
Joel knew that he had to neutralize the situation.
He said, “Renee's mother passed away last night and I was just trying to console her.”
Erin said, “I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I can't begin to imagine how hard it must be to lose your mother.” Erin walked over to Renee and gave her a hug. “I'll keep you and your family in my prayers.”
Renee was surprised by Erin's kindness. “Thank you. I know this is an awkward situation for all of us. Please don't be too hard on Joel. He was just being a friend.”
“Oh, I'm not worried at all. He's a good guy.” Erin smiled and asked jokingly, “Do you think I can trust him?”
“Girl, you don't have a thing to worry about. Joel is so special. You can call him Mr. Monogamy.” Her eyes began to water again. “What else can I say? He's polite, considerate, has a good sense of humor and a positive outlook on life. The physical stuff is obvious. He's different from the average guy on the street. I'm sure you could tell that when you first met.”
“Yeah, that's what I told my girlfriend last night. He's definitely a special guy.”
Renee wouldn't be Renee unless she dug for a little dirt. She tried to act casual and asked, “Erin, how long have y'all known each other?”
Erin replied, “We just met yesterday.”
Renee hoped that Erin would have said that she and Joel knew each other a lot longer. She wanted proof that she wasn't the only one who had cheated. She managed to act surprised and said, “Wow! I bet you feel like you've known him for a long time already.”
“Definitely. We had this instant connection. Joel has an easygoing personality.”
Joel's modesty made him interrupt. “All right. Y'all are gonna pump my head up so big that I won't be able to fit it through that doorway.”
Erin said, “You deserve to be praised, because if you were a dog then we'd definitely be dogging you.”
Renee tried to cheer up a bit and said, “Uh-huh, real bad. You know how we do.”
Joel said, “I believe it.”
Renee said, “This is sad because guys are so used to getting bashed that they don't even know how to accept praise.”
Erin put her arm around Joel and said, “Poor baby. If you continue to be good to me then I promise to praise you every day.”
Joel gave Erin an affectionate hug and a kiss on the lips.
There was an awkward look on Renee's face. Her mouth began to twitch. She felt bad that she hadn't put forth the effort to make things work between her and Joel. Jealousy flared for a few seconds when she sensed the awesome chemistry Erin and Joel shared. Renee could see that physically they clearly made a better couple than she and Joel ever made.
Renee turned toward Joel and said, “It was good seeing you again. I'll call you with the funeral arrangements as soon as they're made. Erin, it was a pleasure meeting you. You're really pretty and the two of you are blessed to have each other.”
“Thank you, Renee. I appreciate the compliment. I was just standing here thinking that you're really pretty. You look just likeâ”
“I know, Beyoncé,” Renee said arrogantly.
Erin was about to say that Renee looked like one of her co-workers, but Renee took things to another level of beauty. Erin tried her best to play it off. Her eyes widened and she tilted her head slightly. “Uh-huh, I can really see it now.” She smiled and said, “Go 'head, Beyoncé.”
Renee smiled and said, “I really look like her when I'm wearing my makeup. Well, I'm outta here. I still have to head over to Northwest Hospital to see my sister.”
With his arm still around Erin, Joel said, “All right, Renee, take it easy.”
Erin tightened her embrace around Joel's waist, smiled and waved good-bye.
Renee smiled back, but as soon as she was on the opposite side of the door her smile quickly turned into a frown. Loneliness and despair escorted her to her Escalade. She had thought that she would find Joel down in the dumps and completely miserable. Her real reason for stopping by was to see if she could rekindle somethingâanything with Joel. Her heart hurt like crazy because deep down inside she knew that Joel was gone forever. She got in her truck and drove away, her vision blurred by tears.
Other books
The Complete Contract Series by Suzanne Steele
Shadow Hawk by Jill Shalvis
Captured by Time by Carolyn Faulkner, Alta Hensley
Boarded by Love by Toni Aleo
Cruel Boundaries by Michelle Horst
Vampire Crush by A. M. Robinson
The Mirage by Naguib Mahfouz
One Pink Line by Silver, Dina
Legion's Lust by Samantha Blackstrap
Jonesin' For Action by Samantha Cayto