Authors: Andrea Simonne
***
The food is delicious and there’s
enough variety on the menu to please everyone. Even Ben hasn’t found anything to
complain about, since I made sure there were some super healthy offerings. During
the meal I find myself glancing over at Declan regularly. He keeps looking at
me too and we both smile whenever our eyes meet. I have to admit that Nina is
right. He looks really handsome. I seldom see him in a suit and he wears it
with surprising ease.
After dinner and before dessert,
Lauren announces that it’s time for the birthday girl to open her gifts. I’d
told Suzy and Lauren to specify in the invitation that I didn’t want people to
bring me any presents, that having them come to my party was enough, but they
both rejected this idea completely. “People are going to bring you gifts no
matter what you say, so you might as well be gracious about it.”
As I open each birthday present I
find myself getting emotional. It was so kind of everyone to come celebrate my birthday
that giving me a gift seems extremely generous. When I notice that Suzy and
Lauren have gotten me something, I chastise them immediately.
“I’d forbidden you two to get me
anything!” I say, wagging my finger at them. “You weren’t supposed to.”
Suzy waves me off. “You’ll be glad
we ignored you once you open that.”
“We couldn’t
not
get you a
present!” Lauren says. “And you’re going to love this, trust me.”
I pull the wrapping paper off and
discover an orange Hermés box. Inside I find a gorgeous silk scarf patterned with
various hues of royal blue, one of my favorite colors.
“Oh my God...it’s beautiful!” I’ve
always wanted a Hermés scarf and they both know it.
Suzy smiles. “See, aren’t you glad
now that we ignored you?”
“Thank you so much,” I say to both
of them, “for
everything.
” Lauren and Suzy both nod, grinning at me.
As I continue opening gifts I find
that Ben has gotten me a present as well.
“But you already got me those
roller blades,” I say to him.
“I know, but I wanted to get you
something else too.”
His gift is in a white envelope with
a red bow attached and it turns out to be a gift card for Taylor’s clothing
stores.
“Oh, thank you. That’s great.” Though
in truth Taylor’s clothes are way too conservative for me and I can’t even
imagine myself shopping there.
“I wasn’t sure if it was your
taste, but my mom and Stacey shop there all the time. It was their idea for me
to get you a gift card. Is it really okay?”
“Of course.” I sense Suzy and
Lauren’s eyes on me, since they both know Taylor’s isn’t really my taste. “It
was very sweet of you,” I tell Ben sincerely. After all, he didn’t have to get
me another gift. I imagine this is his mother’s subtle way of trying to get me
to dress differently.
Ben leans in close and runs his
hand up my leg under the table. “I have something else I want to give you tonight,”
he whispers in my ear. “I’ll let it be a surprise though.”
There are a few more gifts in
front of me and I carefully open them one at a time. There’s a set of crystal
book ends and a gorgeous avant-garde vase that’s from Anthony and Thomas.
When I finally get to the last
gift, a flat oblong box wrapped in gold paper, there’s a card saying it’s from
Declan. Turning it over I smile up at him wondering what it could be.
I tear the paper off and find a
black velvet box with the letters JM swirled on top in silver cursive. As soon
I see the familiar Jane Moon logo my breath catches and I glance up at Declan
in surprise. A flood of emotion comes over me as I realize what’s in the box. I’m
too stunned to even move.
When I look at him again he’s
still watching me with that knowing grin. He mouths the words, “Open it.”
I take a deep breath and slowly lift
the lid. There it is—my necklace. A gold chain with rubies that gleam like
drops of red sunlight—it’s as beautiful as I remember. At the sight of my
necklace, I feel tears come into my eyes. I can’t believe I’m getting so worked
up. I know instinctively this is more than a piece of jewelry. Declan is
telling me something. He’s telling me that he understands me, that he knows my
heart’s desire.
“Thank you,” I say softly.
“You’re welcome.”
“What is it? Let’s see.” A few
people around the table are asking. I hold the necklace up for everyone and
then take it out of its case and put it around my neck. There are murmurs of
approval from everyone.”
I turn to show Ben and that’s when
I notice he isn’t smiling at all. He’s not even looking at me, but is staring at
Declan. When the two of them lock eyes on each other it’s in a way that can
only be described as primitive. No one else seems to notice the tension between
them, but I suddenly feel like the prize female caught between two silverback
gorillas. For a split second I even wonder who would win if they battled it
out. Ben is bigger than Declan, but something tells me Declan could easily wipe
the floor with Ben. I have no desire to watch anything like that.
“All right,” I say loudly to
everyone at the table. “Enough with the gifts already, let’s drink champagne
and eat cake!”
There’s approving laughter all
around and when I glance over at Ben he’s no longer in a staring contest with
Declan—thank heavens—but is studying me instead. I have no idea what he’s
thinking, but I smile at him and act like everything is normal, though he
doesn’t smile back.
After the champagne is poured and
the various cakes are brought out, everyone sings happy birthday to me. Looking
around, I feel grateful for my life and I realize that despite any misgivings I’ve
been having lately about turning thirty-five, I’m pretty happy. I’ve made good choices
for the most part and I hold on to that wish as I blow out the candles on my
cake.
***
While everyone’s eating, Suzy and
Lauren are both making subtle, but frantic motions for me to meet them in the bathroom.
As soon as I walk through the door they’re all over me.
“I can’t believe Declan gave you
that necklace!” Lauren shrieks. “It’s gorgeous!”
“I know,” I say, looking at myself
in the mirror, admiring the way it catches the light. “I had no idea he was
getting it. I actually tried to buy it myself this morning.”
“What the heck is going on between
you and him?” Suzy asks. “And don’t tell me nothing. I saw the way you two were
making eyes at each other all through dinner. ”
“We’re friends.”
“Yeah, right. That looked like
more than friendship to me. And since when do friends buy each other thousand
dollar necklaces?”
“You know what I think,” Lauren
says. “I think you guys are in love.”
“
What
? That’s crazy. I know
this necklace was an extravagant gift, but come on.”
“Lauren’s right,” Suzy says. “I always
thought maybe you two were nursing a crush or something, but after seeing you
together I think it’s more serious than that.”
I roll my eyes. “Declan and I are
not
in love. I’m in love with Ben.”
“Speaking of Ben, he didn’t look
too happy,” Suzy points out. “The way he was staring at Declan—I thought they
might even get into it. He obviously considers him a threat.”
“Maybe Ben will call him out. Pistols
at dawn!” Lauren jokes.
“Oh, stop it you guys. Was it
really that obvious? I didn’t think anyone even noticed the tension between
them.” I open my purse and pull out my makeup bag. “And what about you and Paul,”
I say to Lauren. “You two are sure hitting it off. I don’t think he left your
side once during dinner. He could barely take his eyes off of you.”
She smiles with a catlike grin. “Can
you believe him? What a hunk. And he’s a total gentleman too. We’re going out
tomorrow. I told him I’d be his tour guide and show him some of the local
sights.”
“Hmm, is that right?” Suzy looks
at herself in the mirror, fluffing her hair. “Maybe you should show him the
inside of the Four Seasons Hotel. Can I borrow that lip gloss, Kate?”
Lauren sighs. “Yes, I think my
fourth date rule might have to be amended in this situation.”
“Wow, really? I’ve never even
heard you consider that before.” I hand my tube of gloss over to Suzy.
“I know, but he’s flying back to
Ireland in three days. It’s an emergency amendment!”
I laugh. “Yeah, and you’re never
going to find someone who looks so much like John Cusack. Hell, he’s even
better looking than Cusack.”
“I know,” Lauren giggles. “Isn’t
he hot? And that accent! I get a rush every time he opens his mouth.”
“Yeah, I suppose.”
The truth is, while I never used
to pay much attention to the way Declan speaks, I’ve been noticing it a lot
more. There have even been times, and I’m not proud to admit this, where I’ve
been intimate with Ben and I found myself thinking of Declan, imagining the way
he’d talk to me in that low lyrical timbre, wondering what he’d say and what
he’d do. I know some people fantasize about other lovers when they’re having
sex, but I’ve never been like that. I like to be in the moment, not wishing I
was with someone else.
I’ve been doing something else
lately too, something I’m not quite sure how to explain. I keep getting out the
sketches I made of Declan and staring at them. I tell myself it’s because I’m
gearing up to finally paint his portrait, that I need to study them, to
understand his face, but in truth I haven’t taken any steps in that direction
at all. I even put my easel back in the closet. Looking at those sketches takes
me back to that evening, that kiss, and the way he felt. I keep wondering what
would have happened if I hadn’t answered the phone when Ben called that night.
***
As the party winds up and people
leave, I hug and thank everyone for coming. Anthony and I make plans to meet
for lunch next week. Declan hasn’t left yet, and when I glance over at him, I
notice that he’s talking to Nina. Apparently she didn’t need an introduction from
me after all. I haven’t spoken to him since I opened his gift, mostly because
I’m getting a strange vibe from Ben, and I don’t want to make more waves. When
Ben asks me if I’m ready to go, I tell him I’m going to say a quick good-bye to
a few more people. Luckily, he’s talking with Luke about something and doesn’t notice
where I’m headed.
Declan and Nina are still standing
over by the bar chatting. They look disturbingly cozy. I wonder what they’re
talking about, but I don’t get to find out because they immediately change the
subject when I walk up.
“It looks great on you.” Declan
grins at me, nodding his head towards my necklace. “I knew it would.”
“I can’t believe you bought it. It’s
so expensive. I feel guilty.”
“Hey, I don’t want to hear that
kind of talk. Besides, how could I not get it for you? After visiting that
necklace so many times this past year, I figured one of us needed to buy the
bloody thing!”
I laugh, but I don’t take my eyes
off of his and there’s a moment between us where I know we’re both remembering
all those sunny afternoons together.
“Well,
thank you
,” I say
and step in close to hug him. He wraps his arms around me and without even
thinking I press my whole body into his. I’m not sure what possesses me to do
it, but he’s definitely on board and pulls me in tight. His body fits just
right into mine, something I’ve never noticed before. I put my face in his neck.
Declan smells delicious, like some kind of expensive cologne mixed with his own
crisp scent. When I try to pull away, he stops me, keeping one hand firmly on
my lower back. He lifts the other and touches my necklace, fondling the
delicate gold chain, his knuckles grazing my skin. When I look up at him, his
gaze is hot.
My breath catches.
“Kate, are we leaving?” I hear
Ben’s voice over my shoulder.
“Uh, yeah,” I say, breaking apart
from Declan. He lets me go with such ease that I almost wonder if I imagined
all the heat between us. Nina is smiling at me and appears not to have noticed
anything unusual at all. I say a quick good-bye to both of them and then head over
to Ben who’s watching me with a frown on his face.
“It’s a totally
inappropriate
gift,” Ben says as we’re driving in his jeep, having just left the party. I can
tell he’s trying to be calm, but his voice sounds tight. “You know it is.”
I don’t respond, since in truth I’m
not quite sure what to say. In a way I see his point. It is an overly generous
gift if you don’t know the full story behind it, but I can’t figure out how to explain
it to Ben so it sounds okay.
“You should give it back to him.”
“No!” I clutch my necklace
protectively. “I mean, no—I can’t do that. It would be an insult.”
Ben is silent as he considers
this. When we get to a stoplight he turns to me. “What’s going on between you
and him?”
“Nothing.”
“He’s the friend you were painting
that night when I first called you, isn’t he?”
“Yes, but I never made the actual
painting.” Not that I haven’t thought of it because obviously I have.
“Are you sleeping with him?”
“Of course not!”
Ben studies me. The light turns green,
but the car doesn’t move.
“I can’t believe you’d even ask me
such a thing,” I say indignantly.
He starts to drive again. “I had
to ask—okay? This guy just gave you an expensive piece of jewelry. There is no
way his interest in you is strictly platonic.”
“You don’t know him. Declan’s very
generous and he knows how much I wanted this.” I finger my necklace.
Ben is quiet for a few minutes. I
wonder what he’s thinking, but I don’t want to interrupt his thoughts. Finally
he sighs. “All right. Let’s just forget it. I believe you.”
Really? Even I’m not sure I would believe
all this, but I’m certainly happy to stop arguing.
He turns to me and smiles. “I have
a surprise for you. I’ve been thinking about it and I realized tonight would be
the perfect time.” He glances at my necklace. “I’m not going to let anything
ruin it.”
“Hmm, sounds mysterious.”
“I need to stop at my parent’s
house first, is that okay?”
“Sure, that’s fine.”
We head up north to Edmonds and I
wonder what this is all about. I’m glad he’s decided to drop the whole necklace
thing. Instead we talk about my party and some of the various people that were
there. He tells me he might have to go down to California again in a couple of weeks,
but it should only be for a few days. When we pull up to his parent’s big
colonial style house it’s already almost midnight and I’m thinking maybe I
shouldn’t come inside with him.
“No, come on,” he says, waving me
over. “There’s no point in you sitting out here in the cold.”
There are only a few lights on in
the house, so I’m hoping everybody’s asleep. Once we get inside though we find
Ben’s mother in the kitchen making a cup of tea. She looks surprised to see us.
She’s wearing a bathrobe, no make-up, and has her hair pulled back in a
scrunchy. Despite all this she has such great bones that she doesn’t look bad.
It’s easy to see that Ben takes after her. I feel guilty catching her off guard
like this, but she’s as haughty as ever.
“Ben, you should have called
first,” she says to him, though she’s staring at me, making it obvious she
thinks I’m the one who should have known better.
“Sorry,” he says. “Listen, can I
talk to you?” He pulls her aside and the two of them go into the other room. I
pull up a chair at the kitchen’s large center island and wait. I keep trying to
imagine what we’re doing here, but I really don’t know. I figure it has
something to do with Ben’s parent’s second house, our former “Love Shack.” We
haven’t been out there since we started dating again and maybe Ben’s surprise
will be taking me there.
Eventually they both come back
into the kitchen. Ben is grinning and his mother is wearing a stunned
expression. This time she comes over to wish me a happy birthday.
“And I understand we’ll be having
you over for Christmas dinner,” she says. “I’ve been telling Ben that we don’t
see enough of you two. You need to come over more often. We should get to know
each other better.”
All I can do is stare at her in
confusion. This is by far the nicest she’s ever been to me. Usually she’s making
comments with a hidden insult. Going on about how I’ve probably had a
lot
of boyfriends over the years (translation: I’m a slut) or how I’m so
lucky
to be able to wear such
trendy
clothes (translation: I look cheap.) This
is a complete about face and I wonder what the heck Ben said to her.
When we leave the house Ben is in
good spirits. He even comes over to my side and holds the car door open for me,
something he hasn’t done in a long time. When we’re both inside he leans over
and kisses me impulsively.
“That was nice,” I murmur.
He grins, but doesn’t say anything
as he starts the car. I don’t ask where we’re headed, figuring we’ll probably
stop at my place so I can pack some clothes. It’ll be fun going to visit the
Love Shack again. I could use a mini vacation. I’ll call in sick to work on
Monday, so there won’t be any big rush for us to get back. Ben’s probably
already taken the day off too. To my surprise though we bypass my freeway exit altogether
and before I know it we’re driving up Queen Anne Hill in Seattle.
“Where are we going?” I ask.
“You’ll see.”
Eventually he parallel parks the car
right across from Kerry Park, a public park that has some of the best views of the
city. I have to say my head is really spinning. It’s a very cold November night,
though thankfully it isn’t raining. I’m wearing a heavy wool coat, but I’m
still chilly as Ben leads me into the park. There are some street lights on,
but it’s fairly dark outside and we appear to be the only people around.
He takes me to a spot that has a
perfect view of downtown Seattle and the Space Needle. I haven’t been up here
in ages and the view is beautiful, but unfortunately I’m too cold to really
enjoy it. While I’m standing there shivering he slides his hand in my pocket and
entwines his fingers in mine.
“You know I love you, Kate. I’ve
loved you for a long time.”
I smile at him, trying to stop my
teeth from chattering. “I love you too.”
“I’ll bet you’re wondering why I
brought you here, or maybe you’ve already guessed?”
I shake my head. “I have no idea.
Is it something for my birthday?” My breath is coming out in white puffs of
smoke from the frigid air and I stamp my feet on the ground trying to keep warm.
“No, it’s not for your birthday.” He
studies me for a minute and then laughs. “This is crazy isn’t it? I can’t
believe how cold it is out here. I’m freezing my ass off and you look like
you’re turning into a Popsicle.”
“Correction. I
am
a Popsicle.
I made the transition a couple of minutes ago.”
He takes a deep breath. “Okay, I’ll
try to get this out before we both freeze to death. In fact, I’m going to keep
it real simple.” He pulls my hand out of my pocket and before I know it he’s
slid something onto my ring finger.
When I stare down at my left hand
I discover there’s an old fashioned cut diamond on it.
“Holy shit.”
“Will you marry me?”
I look up at him, but don’t say anything
at all. I’m in a daze. It’s like time has stopped and I’m still trying to catch
up. In the back of my mind it dawns on me that it’s finally happened. I was
right. Fate brought us together again for a reason.
“Yes,” I say, feeling breathless. “Yes,
I’ll marry you.”
“Yeah?” he grins.
I nod and grin with him. “Definitely.”
He takes me into his arms and I
hug him tight. I can’t believe this is really happening. I’m excited, but I have
to admit I also feel strange. Surreal, like someone lost in a Varo painting. It
occurs to me that marrying Ben means he’ll be the last man I kiss, the last man
I ever touch, and that thought gives me a slight pause. Is this what I really want?
Declan comes to mind and I remember the way his body felt against mine earlier.
But then I push the thought away. I’m not going to let anything interfere with my
happiness. Instead I think about all the things so many women have experienced that
I haven’t. It’s finally my turn. And the truth is I can’t wait.