Authors: Andrea Simonne
***
When next Friday rolls around Suzy,
Lauren, and I have plans for a pajama party at Lauren’s house. It’s perfect
timing since Ben doesn’t fly in until tomorrow morning. Driving over there, I put
the Red Hot Chili Pepper’s
Stadium Arcadium
into my CD player, and
settle in for the trip over the floating bridge. Lauren doesn’t live in the
city, but instead has a house out in suburbia. The house was part of her
divorce settlement with The Toad. It’s a nice four bedroom mac-mansion type
with lots of luxuries like granite counters and fancy wood trim, plus at three thousand
square feet it’s huge. That’s a lot of house for one person, but Lauren is
quite happy with it. She’s turned each extra bedroom into something useful like
an office and a craft room.
The song “Snow (Hey Oh)” comes on
and I turn it up, singing along. I’ve been listening to the Red Hot Chili
Peppers a lot since Ben and I started dating again, though I never listen to
Blood,
Sugar, Sex, Magik
and haven’t for years. In fact, if a song from that CD
even comes on the radio I always turn it off or change the station immediately.
I pull up into Lauren’s driveway and
park right behind Suzy, who has just arrived herself. When I get out of my car,
it’s gray and rainy and the air smells like wet pavement.
“Hey Suzy,” I say, walking up to
her as she waits for me, so we can go to the door together. She smiles and it
strikes me that she looks exceptionally pretty. Her green eyes are practically
glowing with health and happiness.
Lauren answers the door all smiles
and, after we take our shoes off, leads us back into her kitchen/ great room
area, which is where we usually hang out when we come over. Her house is all
done in pinks and creams—very feminine, and is so perfectly decorated it’s like
something out of
Better Homes and Garden
. Sometimes houses that are too
perfect make me uncomfortable. I’m worried I’ll spill something or mess it up
somehow, but I don’t feel that way at Lauren’s. I think it’s because I know if
I ruined something, she’d shrug it off.
“I was hoping we could sit outside
and do nachos and margaritas,” Laurens says, pulling some bean dip from the
refrigerator, “but obviously the weather isn’t cooperating. Does that still
sound okay though? We can hang out in here. Oh, I got some Piña Colada mix for
you, Kate.”
“Sounds great,” I say.
“I’ll just have ice water,” Suzy
says, taking off her jacket, “but nachos sound good.”
Both Lauren and I look over at her
in surprise. She loves margaritas and I don’t think I’ve ever heard her turn
one down. I figure she doesn’t feel like drinking, but then Lauren suddenly
shrieks.
“I can’t believe it!” She reaches
down, grabbing Suzy’s left hand where there is a sizable diamond now sitting on
her ring finger. “When did it happen? You’re pregnant too—aren’t you?!”
My eyes grow wide as I take in
Suzy’s grin. It’s obvious Lauren has completely nailed it. I feel a swell of
happiness for her and when our eyes meet I know she’s made the right decision.
Whatever misgivings she had are gone and she’s full of joy.
Suzy wears a confused smile and
waves her left hand around. “I don’t know what happened. I woke up with this
diamond ring on my finger the other day. Isn’t that weird?”
“Oh stop!” Laurens laughs. “I knew
you’d marry him the first time I saw you two together.”
This gives Suzy pause. “Really?”
Lauren nods. “You looked like you
belong with each other.”
“It’s true,” I say, remembering
the way Lauren had leaned over to me during our first meeting with Luke and
told me—
I’ll bet this one sticks
. “She predicted it when we all had
dinner together.”
“That’s interesting.”
“Are you really pregnant?” I ask.
“I am,” Suzy gushes, something
I’ve never seen her do before in my life. “I took a pregnancy test a couple of
days ago and it came out positive. Isn’t that crazy?”
“It’s wonderful!” I give her a
hug, feeling totally thrilled and if I’m honest maybe a teeny bit envious too. “Although
I can’t believe you waited two whole days to tell us!”
“I know, but I wanted to tell you
both in person, plus Luke wanted to tell his parents first.”
“Kate and I are going to be
aunties!” Lauren says, joining in so the three of us are hugging one another and
laughing at the same time.
When we pull apart Lauren gives
Suzy the once over again. “How are you feeling? Have you been throwing up or
anything?”
Suzy shrugs. “No, I feel fine. And
please don’t start treating me like an invalid. When Luke told his parents at
dinner last night they acted like I was too delicate to even go to the bathroom
by myself.”
“Have you told your parents yet?”
I ask.
Suzy shakes her head. “No, though
we told them about the engagement a couple of days ago. I figure I’ll tell them
later. My mom is in heaven now that she finally has a daughter getting married
and a big wedding to plan, though we haven’t set a date yet.”
“I wouldn’t wait too long.” Lauren
gets out the cheese, avocadoes, and black olives from the fridge. She hands me the
block of cheddar and a cheese grater and then hands Suzy three avocados.
“I suppose,” Suzy takes a knife
from the kitchen drawer and starts making the guacamole, “the problem is I’m
not sure if we should wait until after the baby is born to have the wedding or
do it beforehand. What do you guys think?”
“I’d do it now,” Lauren says.
“You’ll be too busy with a newborn to plan much of a wedding, plus do you
really want to have a baby and not be married?” She looks over at me. “Sorry
Kate, I didn’t mean it to sound like that. You know I’m kind of old fashioned
that way.”
“It’s all right,” I say. I’d told
both of them about the whole sperm donor situation and the fight Ben and I had.
Suzy, of course, thinks I should go for it, while Lauren thinks I’m nuts to even
consider having a baby without a husband.
“Luke thinks we should get married
soon, but I don’t know if I like the idea of a shotgun wedding.”
I check the bowl to see how much
cheese I’ve grated. “It doesn’t have to be a shotgun wedding. It would be a
regular wedding. It’s not like you’re getting married because you got pregnant.
Actually, were you trying to get pregnant or was it an accident?”
Suzy smiles sheepishly. “I wasn’t
trying, but I decided to go off the pill a few months ago, thinking I should
give my body a rest, since I’ve been on it forever. We’ve been using condoms
here and there, but weren’t strict about it as I figured I probably wasn’t
ovulating yet. I guess I was wrong!”
“I can’t wait to go shopping,”
Lauren says, taking the cheese I’ve grated and sprinkling it over a casserole
dish full of tortilla chips. “Think of all the cute baby clothes. Are you going
to find out whether it’s a boy or girl?”
“I haven’t decided, but Luke says
he’d rather be surprised.”
“Hmm, spoken like a man who
doesn’t care about shopping.” Lauren opens the oven door and slides the dish
inside. “Why don’t you guys go sit down now,” she says, pouring the Piña Colada
mix into the blender. “Everything’s almost ready. I’ll bring it out when it’s
done.”
Being that Lauren is by far the
best cook out of the three of us and that this is her house, Suzy and I both go
have a seat on the couch in Lauren’s great room. I can hear the blender buzzing
away and the greasy corn smell of nachos baking in the oven. Suzy tells me her
mom is already getting crazy with the wedding plans and wants to invite hundreds
of people. Luckily Luke is pretty easy going, but even he’s getting concerned.
She’s going to see if her sister Nina can hopefully talk some sense into her.
After a short while Lauren comes
out of the kitchen with a tray of drinks and places them on the large coffee
table. Suzy reaches for her ice water and I pick up my Piña Colada. After a few
more trips Lauren sits down with us and we dig in.
“Yum,” I say, “this is so good. I
think I could live on nachos.”
“I know!” Lauren loads up her
plate with guacamole and salsa. “I wish it wasn’t so fattening though.” She
looks over at Suzy. “So are you having any food cravings yet?”
“Not really, although for some
reason I’ve been craving donuts. Isn’t that weird? I don’t usually eat them. I
even did the donut trick with Luke the other night,” she laughs.
“The donut trick?” I ask. “What’s
that?”
“You
know
....” Suzy looks
at me.
“No, I don’t.” Both her and Lauren
are grinning with amused expressions.
“You’ve really never heard of the
donut trick?” Lauren asks.
“No, I really haven’t and is
somebody going to enlighten me or what?”
“The donut trick,” Suzy says, “is
when you slip a donut on a guy’s dick and eat it off as part of a blowjob.”
I start to laugh. “You’re joking!”
“I can’t believe you’ve never
heard of it,” Lauren says, bending over her plate and taking a bite of nacho.
“It was all the rage.”
“I guess I’m out of the loop. Is
it sexy? It’s sounds kind of silly.” I wonder whether I should try it on Ben.
He’d probably take offense that I was eating something as unhealthy and
fattening as a donut. On the other hand, it
is
a blow job. Surely that
would override all other considerations.
Lauren grins. “It’s both silly and
sexy. I’ve done it on a few guys and no one has complained yet. Usually the
donut falls apart before you eat much of it though. Of course by that point they’re
so hot and bothered it doesn’t really matter.”
“What did Luke think? Did he like
it?” I ask Suzy.
She shrugs and takes a sip from
her ice water. “Of course, what’s not to like?”
“Maybe I’ll try it on Ben.”
“Oh, you should!” Lauren nods
vigorously. “Hopefully it’ll loosen him up a little.”
Lauren and Suzy finally met Ben a
couple of weeks ago when we all went out for dinner downtown and they both told
me that—while he’s certainly handsome—he’s too uptight. It didn’t help matters
when he picked apart my dinner order and then suggested something healthier. I
explained that Ben is a great guy who just likes to be helpful, but they seemed
dubious.
“I had fun talking to Declan on
the phone the other day,” Suzy says, grinning at me. “He sounds really
interesting.”
“I can’t believe you guys both
called him! I felt embarrassed when he told me.”
“Don’t be silly.” Lauren takes a
sip from her margarita. “He was super nice. Plus that accent of his—it’s so hot!
I nearly had to fan myself with a magazine listening to him talk.”
Suzy grins. “I kept thinking he
sounds just like Liam Neeson.”
“Me too!” Lauren laughs.
I smile to myself. Declan would be
groaning with annoyance if he heard this conversation. People are always
telling him he sounds like Liam Neeson and it drives him nuts. I can hear him
complaining—
Is Liam Neeson the only Irishman anybody in this bloody country
knows? He isn’t even a Dubliner for Christ’s sake. He comes from the North and
we sound nothing alike—nothing!
“So did you ever hear anything
back from Justin?” I ask Lauren, wanting to move the topic away from Declan.
She broke up with him recently because he still wouldn’t ‘put out’.
She shakes her head. “I haven’t
heard a thing. Which is fine by me—good riddance. Do you know how many dates we
went on? Seven. Seven dates and he only kissed me three times! What was that
all about? Do I have cooties?”
“Really?” Suzy says. “I didn’t
realize it was that severe. Maybe he really was frigid.”
“So have you met anyone else yet?”
Lauren sighs and leans back
against the chair cushions. “No, I’m taking a break from men. Maybe the whole
internet dating thing isn’t so great after all. I need to refocus on myself.
Did I tell you guys I’ve started a yoga class?”
She tells us about the beginner’s
class she signed up for and how she already feels like it’s helping her cope
with some of the stress at work. Listening to her, I wonder if I should try
yoga myself. It sounds like something I might enjoy. I ask her where she takes
the class and it turns out it’s not far from where I work.
“You should come take it with me
Kate!” Lauren says.
“Maybe I will.” Truthfully, after
spending the last week at the YMCA with the Gruesome Threesome, I’m ready to do
anything that would give me an excuse to stop going there. I can’t imagine it
will be any better when Ben gets back. “I’m getting pretty sick of the whole
YMCA thing. Do you know what Rochelle asked me the other day? She wanted to
know what sorts of things Ben and I argue about. She said astrologically we aren’t
very well matched. Can you believe that? She keeps asking me all these personal
questions about our relationship. It’s bizarre.”
“What did you say?” Suzy asks.
“I told her I didn’t think Ben
would appreciate my talking about something like that.”
“She’s crazy,” Lauren says. “The
whole thing sounds strange. Why does he even bother going there—have you ever
asked him?”
“I did. He told me he met the
three of them in an exercise class he signed up for last year. Apparently all
the other people dropped out of the class, but the four of them stayed and when
the class ended they kept meeting every morning, even though it was finished.”
Suzy leans back and puts her feet
up. “Just tell him you don’t want to go there anymore. What’s he going to do?
I’m sure after you explain the way those women are treating you he’ll
understand.”
“Yeah,” I sigh. Though, I have to
admit, that’s not a conversation I’m looking forward to.
“Do you want
me to drive
for a little while?”
Ben glances over at me. “Nah, it’s
all right. I got it.”
We’re in Ben’s jeep headed down to
central Oregon. It’s a six hour drive and the back is full of camping equipment,
rock climbing gear, and enough food and other essentials to cover us for the few
days we’re going to be spending at Smith Rock Park. There’s a group of us
meeting down there—climbing friends of Ben’s that I haven’t met yet. It should hopefully
be fun.
I’m trying to keep a positive
attitude. Ben and I have been arguing since he got back from California. First
we had an argument about what time I was supposed to pick him up from the
airport. He called and gave me his flight information out of San Francisco, but
somehow I wrote it down wrong, so he had to wait at the airport an extra hour.
I felt bad and apologized, but he was fuming the entire way home in the car. Then
a few days later he found some of the junk food that I bought while he was
gone. I meant to throw it away, but I’ve been so busy at work that I forgot it
was even there. Ben lectured me about what kind of food I’m putting in my body.
I finally yelled that I’m a grown woman and I’ll eat whatever the hell I want.
Despite all this, the sex between
us is still amazing. I’m not sure how it’s possible, but it is. As soon as we
touch each other all bad feelings disappear—at least temporarily—and we’re lost
in the moment. It’s the one area we have complete harmony.
When we finally arrive at Smith
Rock Park’s camping area there are already a lot of people there. Ben knows most
of them and introduces me as some come over and talk to us while we set up our
camp site. Apparently the plan is that Ben, along with a few others, are going
to go rock climbing tomorrow at a place called Morning Glory Wall. He tells me
I can do whatever I want tomorrow and then we’ll go hiking together the day
after that.
“Does that sound all right?” he
asks.
“Sure, that’s fine. I’d like to go
over there with you tomorrow and hang out though.”
“Are you sure? You might get
bored.”
“I’ll bring a magazine and some
binoculars. I want to watch you climb.”
As odd as it sounds, I’ve never
seen Ben rock climb. I’ve seen lots of pictures of him doing it, but even when
we were together years ago I never went out there with him. In truth I feel
embarrassed. How selfish must I have been? So here I am finally being the
supportive girlfriend and I’m really looking forward to going along tomorrow.
“All right, if you want to come
with that’s great.” He smiles with approval. “They’ll be other people there to
keep you company while I’m climbing, so you won’t be by yourself anyway.”
“I have my new camera too.” I
recently bought myself a fancy digital camera. “It’ll give me a chance to play
around with it.”
“That sounds good.”
And I think we’re both relieved things
are going smoothly.