“Sabine.” He ran to catch up. “Where are you going?”
She straightened and stood in the gap between the open cab door and the body of the car. “I have to go.”
“I know what Jean said. She’s sorry. She was upset about my dad and she didn’t mean to freeze you out.” He touched her elbow. “I thought you would go and see my dad with me.”
She shook her head, and he didn’t like the lack of emotion on her face. “I didn’t want to get in the middle of a family thing. You needed time with him.”
“No, I needed a buffer against the fear that was about to drown me seeing him lying there just like my mom.” Doug’s throat hitched. He hadn’t meant to say that much, to lay the weight of it on her. He prayed she wouldn’t get scared away. “Don’t go.”
“I have a meeting, Doug. There’s too much that needs to be resolved.”
So that’s what it was. Sabine had switched to work mode. “What happened? Did your handler contact you?”
She nodded. “I have to find out if the last six years were a lie.”
“Let me help you. If we can get an ID on your handler, we’ll know more about who we’re dealing with.”
“I have to know who wanted me out of the CIA and why that woman looked like me.” She bit her lip and looked down.
“What is it?”
Her eyes lifted. “Will you come with me? I know it’s a lot to ask with your dad and all, but—”
“Wouldn’t miss it.”
However much he had tried to convince himself that things were still developing between them, the fact was that he was already in deep with this woman. He’d been attracted for a long time. His heart just saw the woman, not the problems that could emerge.
Especially when she found out Ben’s death was his fault.
ELEVEN
“R
emember to breathe. This is just like any other meeting you’ve had with your handler.”
Sabine tucked the listening device in her ear. “I have done this before, you know. I’m aware of the procedure and the risks.”
Doug had parked in a crowded lot at the mall in Boise. It had been a long plane flight, considering they’d gone from Seattle to D.C. only the day before. She’d never flown so much in such a short space of time. If only she could have done it using her real ID, then she could use all these Air Miles she was earning. A vacation sounded good.
His hand rested on her shoulder and jolted her from her thoughts. “It’s never been this personal before.”
“Ben would probably have a fit if he thought we were making this much fuss over his death.” She smiled to herself, lost in memories. “Then again, he’d probably do the exact same thing if it were one of us.”
“He knew you were CIA?”
She laughed, though it wasn’t too funny considering how angry he’d been. “About threw a fit over the whole thing. Told me he was Delta Force. What was I supposed to do, but reciprocate? How was I to know he’d hit the roof? Just because he has a team to back him up and I don’t.”
Sabine pushed away the ache in her chest. She needed this meeting with her handler, Neil. She had to focus on something that would demand every skill she had, something that would push her to draw deep from her strengths in order to succeed.
She looked at Doug. His eyes were hard, like he didn’t want to admit how he felt.
“You agree with Ben?”
He took a deep breath and blew it out. “Can’t say the thought of you running around on your own with no support doesn’t scare me, because I’d be lying. No...let me finish. I know you’re trained. So am I. And they’re different businesses, but you can’t deny there’s an element of danger in our jobs. Both high risk, both requiring intense skill. Can you honestly tell me that you never worried about Ben?”
“No. Of course I worried about him.” Sabine tensed. “And with good reason, since he died.”
She slammed the door behind her and marched between cars until Doug grabbed her hand and turned her to him. He didn’t need to apologize. The look in his eyes took her breath away.
His hand went to her cheek, and then he touched his forehead to hers. “I worry about you. You worry about me. Where do we go from here?”
Sabine leaned her head back. “I’m still going to do my job.”
“And so will I.”
“To the best of my ability. Yes, there’s risk, but I don’t put myself in danger more than is necessary. I’m not some kind of maverick just because I don’t have a team with me. I follow procedure. I trust the people I work with—” Her voice broke. “I trusted Neil.” She shuddered and drew in a breath. “What if Steve Adams was telling the truth? What if I betrayed my country?”
“Did you kill your team?”
“No.”
“Did it ever cross your mind that Neil might be lying?”
“That’s not a good thing.” She stepped away. “If I never considered I was being duped, what kind of agent does that make me?”
“Human?”
“That’s unacceptable.”
“Seriously? You give me grief for feeling guilty about not doing more when the hard drive exploded, and you think it makes you less of a person to believe that someone’s telling the truth?”
“I should have known.”
“Sabine—”
“If it’s true, this man has destroyed my life. And who do I work for, if not the CIA? The Russians? A terrorist organization? The CIA is going to put me in jail for the rest of my life, Doug. I’m done. It’s over.”
He grabbed her elbow only enough to get her attention. “This isn’t the end. Get it out now, and then go in there and meet with Neil. Look him in the eye and give the performance of your life. Yes, we need to know who you’ve been passing information to. We also need to know what they know about Parelli’s death. But you’re not done. You still have some fight left, and I don’t believe God would bring you into my life and give me the best shot I’ve had so far at finding out why Ben was killed and then rip it all away. I can’t believe that.”
“I need that, Doug. I need one of us to believe, to be completely sure.”
“It’s not too late. It’s never too late.”
* * *
Not for the first time, Doug wished he could simply will someone else to believe. Just as Ben had been resistant to the truth, Sabine didn’t see God the way Doug did. He understood it. Little in their lives pointed to the fact that God was on their side. Witnessing their mom kill their dad and then try to kill them was beyond heavy. Doug wasn’t surprised it was difficult for her to trust anyone.
He tucked his hands in his jacket pockets and watched her walk into the entrance closest to the food court.
Ben had done it.
Doug had no doubts that Sabine could come to believe, just like her brother. Ben had seen Doug’s life and the way he lived out the things he stood for, even though he wasn’t perfect. When Doug had laid out what Jesus had done, dying on the cross, Ben had been blown away. It had been a short jump from there to giving his life to the Lord.
At least his friend had become a Christian in time. It hadn’t been too late. Doug could only pray Sabine wouldn’t leave it too late, either.
“Excuse me.”
Her voice came through his earpiece as she stepped aside for a young mom pushing a stroller. He pulled out his phone and sent Sabine a text.
Got you loud and clear.
Doug checked his watch. He waited for the five-minute mark and then made his own way inside. After buying a corn dog, he chose a spot across the busy food court where he settled at a table with a side view of Sabine drinking a soda.
Two minutes before the cutoff time when Sabine would have stood up and walked away, a man approached. The khaki pants, golf shirt and loafers made him look relaxed, like a retired old man out for eighteen holes of conversation with a buddy. The tweed cap shadowed his face, but Sabine clearly recognized him since she offered him the seat across from her.
His bearing was familiar.
Doug couldn’t place where he knew this guy from and didn’t know why he’d expected a younger man. He’d been geared up to instantly dislike the smooth talker who had convinced Sabine that he was a CIA handler. This man was more grandpa than sophisticated deceiver. It was clever, really. Since most people were inclined to trust a harmless old man.
If only Doug could see the guy’s face.
“I read your report. I’m concerned about this woman you think was pretending to be you.”
Sabine put her elbows on the table and leaned close as he talked in a low voice. “Do you have any idea who she was?”
Neil shook his head. Doug was having trouble reading the man’s body language. If he was lying, he was incredibly skilled at it.
“Security cameras from the hotel are grainy, so we haven’t been able to figure out who she was. Unfortunately that makes it more likely that the authorities will suspect you, I’m afraid.”
Sabine scratched her hairline. “So I was right. They’re pinning it on me.”
“So what if they do? You’re a ghost. If you need to lie low for a while, then stay out of the Dominican Republic. That’s not too hard to do. There’s plenty of work elsewhere in the world, so we just leave this Parelli thing alone and focus on something different.”
“You want me to let this go?”
Doug tensed. Any effort on this Neil’s part to push Sabine away from searching for her brother’s killer had to be viewed as suspicious.
“I know you want to trace the money from Parelli to whoever originally paid for the hit on your brother, but the hard drive was destroyed. I’m not saying do nothing while the person who killed your brother goes free. I want you to let me work on it. There’s a team back at Langley whose only job is to trace that money. As soon as we know something, I’ll pass it on. But it’s not always possible to get a win, Sabine. You know that. Sometimes you have to cut your losses and move on.”
The corn dog didn’t settle well. What a pack of lies this guy was spewing. How could they find the person who was behind Neil? When Doug’s team got back, he’d have to task the new computer guy to do some checking into the handler.
The kid had navigated them through the hotel to escape those two Italian bodyguards and the police, and he could also unearth information on anyone. California was an exceptional hacker. They needed to trace Neil’s phone, get into his email, that kind of thing. Neil was entirely too much of an unknown component for Doug’s liking.
“I have a new assignment for you.”
Sabine sighed. Doug could see the fatigue wasn’t faked. She was genuinely tired. His phone vibrated in his pocket.
“I need some time off, Neil. I’ve got to get my head straight. I shouldn’t have gone on that mission so soon after Ben’s death.”
Neil patted her hand. “Ben wouldn’t want you to push yourself, but neither of us is willing to let his killer just walk.”
Doug hated that this guy even thought he was good enough to say Ben’s name when Neil had being lying to Sabine for years. Doug could see just how hard this was for her, in the set of her shoulders and the way her fingers were laced.
The woman was trained to project what she wasn’t feeling and make it look authentic. If she was giving off tells like that without knowing it, she needed some serious rest.
She sucked in a breath. “What does it matter? Parelli is dead. The hard drive blew up. We might never get to the bottom of what happened. The army isn’t going to just hand over the information.”
Except that she would likely know before Neil if the army did find out, since Doug would share with her. They needed to know the extent to which Neil was keeping tabs on her. Did Neil know that she’d been with Doug, or even that she had stayed at the general’s house?
Neil cocked his head, like he was so innocent. “The soldier you’ve been spending time with, your brother’s teammate. Richardson, isn’t it? He hasn’t told you anything?”
Neil knew every move she made.
“I think he just feels sorry for me.”
Neil nodded. “Stands to reason. If he feels responsible, he might want to help because he feels guilty about what happened. Have you considered that?”
Doug held still. His phone vibrated again, but he didn’t pull it out. He caught the eye of an older woman at the next table and nodded politely when inside he wanted to rage that this man had the audacity to question Doug’s motives.
“We can get to the bottom of this.” Neil put his hand over Sabine’s once more. “There are other leads. When you’re ready, I’ll put you back to work and we’ll finish this. It’s what you’re good at, Sabine.”
Tread carefully.
That was what the note had said—the one Sabine had shown Doug on the plane. It seemed that was becoming a familiar refrain.
* * *
Sabine held still while the old man kissed her on the head, and then she said goodbye to her mentor. She was valuable enough they didn’t want to lose her as an asset, which unfortunately was too bad, since she’d most likely end up in jail for the murder of her team and of Christophe Parelli.
She wasn’t sure she’d object to that if it came down to it. After all, she was the one stupid enough to have been duped all these years. She figured she deserved it. Her handler had been convincing, but something should have told her that Neil was deceiving her.
It was so obvious now.
As soon as he had gone down the escalator, she made her way through the mall and bought a coffee, trying to get the bitter taste out of her mouth. She sipped and stared in a store window at a particularly nice blue dress. A shadow darkened the window beside her.
“He’s keeping tabs on you.”
“Knows every move I make. Probably knew you were here today.” She looked over. Doug’s eyes were soft. “What do you think?”
“Ditch your phone. Get another that’s untraceable. We need to find out everything we can about Neil and who he talks to.”
“I’ll go over Ben’s computer. I haven’t had the chance yet, but there could be something on there that might lead us to why someone would go through his room. There has to be a connection.”
He nodded. “Agreed.”
Sabine turned and leaned back against the store window and took another sip of her coffee. “Did you check on your dad?”
Doug turned and did the same so they were shoulder to shoulder. “On the way over here from the food court. He’s awake. The tests were uneventful. He should be released tomorrow, provided he takes it easy and follows up with a cardiologist.”
She didn’t have the energy to comment, so she smiled.
Doug nudged her shoulder with his. “What now?”
“Please, no more airplanes.”
He laughed. “Let’s go see a movie.”
“That sounds amazing.”
“Then dinner. After that we’ll find somewhere to rest. When you don’t look like you’re about to fall asleep on your feet, we’ll figure out our next move.”
And maybe after that, Sabine would have the necessary brain power to figure out why, after years of not bothering, Neil had chosen today of all days to start disguising his appearance.
* * *
Later that evening Doug drove back toward the airport. There were decent hotels there, and when they checked in he asked for rooms across the hall from one another. He set Sabine’s suitcase down at the end of the bed in her room and watched her take her coat off.
“You look like you might fall asleep if you try to take a bath.”
She brushed the hair back from her face. “I’ll probably just crash. Thank you for this afternoon. I really needed that break from everything.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Not to mention I might not have the opportunity to go on many dates after I get incarcerated.”
“Sabine—”
She shook her head. “It’s okay, Doug.”
“Seriously? You think it’s okay you’ve lost the will to fight for your life?”
She blew out a breath. “I can’t help it if it’s inevitable. I’m not giving up. I’m just saying the likelihood of me being free to live my life after the CIA picks apart the last six years is seriously depressing. I told you that I need you to believe for me.”
“That won’t sustain you. It’ll drag us both down. There has to be hope.”