Beyond Repair (2 page)

“I’m sure he’s just great. I’ll meet him after he moves in.” And by meet him, I meant give a neighborly wave and then cross my fingers, hoping he was the type to keep to himself.

She smiled, and I instantly got suspicious. She’d give me that same smile when we were kids and she was trying to talk me into trading my Halloween candy for her boxes of raisins. “What?”

Zoey shrugged. “Nothing. You’re right; you’ll meet him on Monday.” Her eyes glazed over. “After I move out of where we brought Beth home from the hospital when she was first born, and where Mike and Justin took their first steps …”

“Are you crying? You’re not pregnant again, are you?”

“No!” Zoey quickly wiped her eyes. “I’m just getting sentimental. But anyway, enough talking.” She leaned over the counter and started smoothing my long hair.

“What the hell?” I winced as she pulled through a knot, ripping out half of my hair in the process. “Quit it.” I smacked her hand away.

“When was the last time that you had a haircut? The bottom of your hair feels like straw. And fix your bra, the strap keeps falling down.”

“Ew,” I said, adjusting my bra strap. “Okay,
Mom
. What’s going on?”

Zoey flashed the same sneaky smile from before. “Kyle’s friend from college is in the area, and—”

Irritation flashed through me. “God, Zoey. You suck. You promised you’d back off.”

“Come on, he’s cute!”

I glared at her. “You thought Zach was cute too, and he had a really unhealthy foot fetish. He took a picture of my feet with his phone. I still get creeped out wondering what he does with it.” I gagged a little and pulled my hand sanitizer out of my purse.

Zoey’s eyes traveled down to the bottle, but she didn’t say anything. “Zach was a mistake. This guy isn’t. Come on, Brooke. He’s cute. He’s single. He’s in the next room. And you’re almost thirty.” She stuck out her hand as I finished rubbing mine together, and I passed the bottle to her.

I rolled my eyes. “I haven’t even been twenty-nine for a month yet, and you’re pulling this ‘almost thirty’ shit on me?”

But I couldn’t help walking to the window and checking out this guy. Where was he? Mia and the other kids stood in lines, punching the air. Kyle was talking to some older kid with his back turned toward me. He must be one of the advanced students helping with the beginners.

The kid turned around.
Oh, God
.

I glared at Zoey. “The guy with the white shirt?”

“Yeah.” She nodded as she passed the bottle back to me. “He’s a veterinarian. Nice guy, likes animals.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Since I’m almost thirty, don’t you think you should be setting me up with grown-ups?”

“So, he’s a little short.”

“A little? Seriously? His head is eye level with my chest.”

“He’s not that short! Really, Brooke. I could set you up with the hottest guy in the world, and you’d still make an excuse.”

She had a point. Though I could appreciate a good-looking guy, dating was a sore subject. “It’s not happening.”

“Fine! I’m so
sorry
that I’m trying to help my sister find a nice guy. After everything that’s happened, you need one.” She turned back to the computer with a huff.

I bit my lip. I would take the “new neighbor” conversation over the “poor Brooke” conversation any day. I was suddenly very glad I didn’t tell her about my scare in the grocery store earlier.

“I don’t need anyone. I’m fine. And so is Mia. I’m not worried about her at all.” I felt like I was giving a speech. Probably because I said the same thing to myself on a daily basis.

Her eyes traveled down to my dry, chapped hands. I was rubbing them together. I hadn’t even realized that I’d pulled the hand sanitizer out of my purse again. “You never dealt with it properly.”

“There’s no
proper
way. I’m dealing with it just fine.” I forced myself to keep my hands still.

She looked up at me, her eyes radiating pity. “Look, I’m just worried about you. You are doing great with Mia. Really, you are. But she’s going to start asking about her dad soon—”

“And she doesn’t have one.” I cut her off, ignoring the tightening knot in my stomach. “Lots of kids have one parent. We’re fine.”

She gave me a sad smile. “Yes, Brooke, you’re fine. Besides your family, do you hang out with anyone? Not just me. Like friends.”

I shrugged as I looked down. “People get nosy.”

“And you never addressed it. You never cried about it, you never talked about it, and you never got angry about it. You weren’t in therapy for even a month before you dropped out. Mia wasn’t—”

“Shut up, Zoey! I’m not listening to this!”

I spun around, heading toward the room where Mia had her lesson.

“And by the way, there’s a Post-It on your boob,” I said over my shoulder as I left.

“And you have a sticker of a happy face on yours,” she fired back.

I looked down. Damn, she was right. It must have come off Mia when I’d picked her up at the store. I peeled the sticker off my shirt and folded it in half as I sat with the other parents, nodding hello but not saying anything.

I kept my attention on Mia throughout the class. I didn’t make eye contact with Kyle’s friend, who looked in my direction several times. And I sure as hell didn’t glance out the window at Zoey, who was probably shooting me a look every thirty seconds to see if I’d go talk to her again.

When Mia’s class was over, I thanked Kyle, gave a polite, “Nice to meet you,” to his little friend, and left through the back door to avoid my sister. Just Mia and me. Like always.

Chapter Two

“W
E’RE GOING TO BE LATE.
Are you ready?”

“Ready!”

I tried not to laugh as Mia descended the steps, beaming. We had a deal: she could choose what she wanted to wear, but I picked out the shoes because she would wear her plastic dress-up high heels everywhere if I let her. The usual outfit of choice was a princess t-shirt and jeans, but today, she decided to get creative. Mia wore a t-shirt with a giant spider on it, rainbow striped leggings, and a tutu from her dress-up clothes. She accessorized with a whistle necklace and glittery Minnie Mouse ears from our trip to Disney World a few months ago.

“Wow, check you out.” I held up my phone. “Say cheese.” This had to be documented because not only was she cute, but I also now had it to use as blackmail when she was a teenager.

I worked from home most of the time, but I had to go to my office on occasion for meetings and presentations. This was one of those mornings. I grabbed my work bag, Mia’s backpack, and her hand as we headed out our door. Zoey stood on her porch as we reached my car, and I waved before buckling Mia into her car seat. I never could stay mad at her.

Zoey knew that, and she had the perfect peace offering. “I’m making mac and cheese tonight!” she called out as she walked down the steps toward us.

“Sounds good. I’ll take the kids to my place after so you can pack for a few hours,” I replied, sliding into the driver’s seat. It was Friday so the kids could stay up a little later.

She paused at my window. “I forgot to ask you last night if you wanted to have Mia’s birthday party at the studio. The party slots are filling up fast. Should I save you one?”

Anxiety rolled in my stomach. In a month, Mia would be turning four. I was hoping to avoid a huge party, but it wasn’t fair to her. “I’ll talk to her about it and let you know tonight, okay?”

“Sure,” she said, stepping back from the car. “Later, skater.”

“This is getting lame. We’re not ten years old anymore.”

“Finish it.”

I resisted rolling my eyes because I really shouldn’t mess with tradition. “Peace out, girl scout.” I rolled up the window before she could spurt off another rhyme.

“Mom?”

“Yes?” I looked at Mia over my shoulder as I backed the car out of the driveway.

“What do you do at work?”

“I make pretty ads on the computer with pictures and words. It’s called graphic design.” I turned my gaze back to the road and started driving.

“Is that what Aunt Zoey does on the computer, too?”

“No, she types when she works with Uncle Kyle at karate.” I paused, knowing that I needed to ask about her party. “Hey, your birthday is in one month. That’s not too long from now.”

“Can I have a party? With all of my friends from school? Not just Mike, Justin, and Beth?”

My stomach dropped. There went my master plan of trying to talk her into something small. “Sure you can.”

Not noticing my disappointment, Mia squealed and clapped her hands. “Yay!”

“Aunt Zoey just asked if you wanted to have your party at karate. Uncle Kyle can show everyone some of the cool moves you’re learning, and then we can have birthday cake.”

“I want a chocolate cake!”

“Sure. Do you want your party at karate?”

“Can the cake have purple frosting?”

I tried not to laugh. “Yeah, Mia. So, you don’t care where the party is?”

“Maybe we can get ice cream, too? Like Sidney had at her party.”

“Okay, so we are going to have your party at karate, with ice cream and a chocolate cake with purple frosting. Sound like a plan?”

“And a piñata.”

I looked in the rearview mirror. She grinned at me, and I had to smile back, even though I could already tell this party was going to be a pain in the ass.

Making small talk with all of the parents? Not my idea of fun.

I took my hand sanitizer out of the cup holder.

* * *

After dropping Mia off at school, I battled crappy traffic for forty-five minutes. When I finally pulled into a parking space outside of the ad agency where I worked, dread washed over me. I really did not want to go into the office. Turning the car off, I stared out my windshield at the rainbow of colors from the other cars in the parking lot.

I was being paranoid. Nothing bad ever happened to me in
this
building.

But going in reminded me of shit that was much better forgotten. Or, in my case, ignored. Some things were just etched into my mind too deep, and they had changed my life so dramatically that I didn’t have the luxury of forgetting.

My knuckles turned white as I gripped the steering wheel, willing myself to go in. Finally, I gave up. “You’re being stupid.” I used my hand sanitizer, and then I climbed out of the car and slammed the door shut. My ankles buckled in my stupid heels as I stormed into the building, angry with myself for getting upset about something as ordinary as going to work.

By the time I reached my desk, the anger had subsided and my attention focused on not falling on my ass. So when a hand touched my shoulder, my breath caught in my throat and I spun around.

Sean, the copywriter for the campaign I was working on, smiled at me. I immediately relaxed. “Hey. What’s up?”

Oblivious that he just scared the hell out of me, he replied, “Morning, Brooke. Just wanted to go over some changes I had to make for the presentation. It shouldn’t take too long.” He held out a Styrofoam cup of coffee. “Hazelnut, with milk and one Splenda.”

The stupid cup taunted me as I stared at it.
Pierce unscrewed the cap of a bottle of water and held it out. “Thirsty?”

His voice broke my thoughts. “Did I get that right?”

Feeling horrible, I returned his smile. When Sean and I were in the breakroom at the same time a few weeks ago, we’d made small talk about how different people like their coffee. It was awkward and uncomfortable, in my opinion, but it obviously stuck with him. And now I had to go reading into it like he was an evil bastard. I took the cup. “Yes, thanks! You’re the best. Let’s take a look.”

He was right; all the changes were easy. After promising that I would update everything before the meeting, he left.

As soon as he was out of sight, I picked up the coffee and headed to the bathroom. Hunched over a sink, I stared at the cup in my hand, hypnotized by the steam swirling over the top. Sean was married, and his wife had a baby boy a few months ago. He was probably just doing something nice for his co-worker.

I sighed as I turned the cup upside down and watched the light brown liquid while it swirled against the white porcelain. Damn, that smelled good. “What a waste,” I muttered as I turned the water on to rinse out the sink.

* * *

By the time Monday morning rolled around, you’d never have known Zoey and her family lived next door to me. Everything was gone. I kept busy helping them pack or watching the kids all weekend, trying to avoid thinking about how much I was going to miss them.

I took the day off to help Zoey and Kyle unpack. Since the moving trucks wouldn’t arrive at the new house until ten o’clock, Mia and I spent the morning hanging out in front of the TV. By the time I dropped her off at school, there was just enough time to make it to Zoey’s by ten thirty, as she’d requested.

Too bad for me, I forgot my phone, which I needed in case the school called with an emergency. I drove home faster than I should have and parked behind a U-Haul before I sprinted into my condo. Zoey was going to kill me for being late
.
I grabbed my phone and looked at the screen as I ran out.
Good, no bitchy text
—

SMACK. “Ow!”

I ran into a brick wall. It felt like that, anyway. All the air was knocked out of my chest. A pair of strong hands grabbed my shoulders before I fell back. “Whoa, sorry. You okay?”

Who the fuck has their hands on me?
My body immediately tensed, but luckily, they dropped off as soon as I caught my footing. I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding and looked up. And up and up.

The brick wall had to be a foot taller than me. At least. Even though his face was far away, I could make out the clearest light blue eyes I had ever seen and a small scar on his chin. He had blond hair just a little too long and sticking up in some spots, and his mouth twisted in concern.

“Are you okay?” he repeated.

I blinked. “Hey. Um, yeah, I’m fine. Sorry about that. I have to help my sister move, and I’m running late. Obviously.” I looked down at my ripped jeans and dirty Converse All Stars and took a step backward so I could talk to him without straining my neck. I had no idea what to say next, so I stuck out my hand. “I’m Brooke.”