Beyond Repair (36 page)

“Nevermind.” He shook his head as he walked away, and I shrugged. Why would he ask if he didn’t want to know?

Whatever
. I stood up and stretched. “Can we go? We’re practicing tomorrow. We’ll figure out the name then.”

The guys agreed, and after loading our shit into AJ’s mom’s old mini-van and the back of Jason’s SUV, we said our good-byes and were on our way.

AJ gripped the steering wheel with a shit-eating grin on his face. “Fridays. Isn’t that awesome?”

“Yeah. I still can’t believe it.”

“I can. Shit’s finally happening for us.”

“Yeah, it is.” About a month ago, we started booking more shows, and this was our second time playing at this bar. It was only Tuesday, so I hadn't expected much, but the crowd was bigger tonight than last time. A few people even knew who we were when we got there. But really, everyone was so fucking wasted they probably wouldn’t have cared how bad we fucked up, as long as we played their favorites.

I would never tell AJ that, though. He had big dreams that the right person was going to come across us someday and make us famous. It was kind of a dumb dream, but it was cute that he had it, and I didn’t want to be the one to stomp on it. “We should add ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ to the set list.” I couldn’t stand that song, but if we wanted to continue playing at Sabotage, we needed to keep people happy.

“Yeah, good idea. Maybe we can sneak in another one of our songs, too.”

“Maybe …” I didn’t share that the audience looked kind of bored when we played our songs. Poor AJ had the biggest blinders on. “Toward the end would be good.”

“Good idea, so they’ll remember it.”

Or be too drunk to care.
“Exactly.”

AJ was silent for a moment. “How’s the job hunt going?”

I sighed. “Shitty. No place is hiring. Or they want a college graduate. I’m going to go check out some restaurants for waitressing tomorrow.”

“Sorry. You doing okay with money? I can help you out if you need it.”

“Thanks, but I’ll be okay. Especially since we have a guaranteed show every Friday for a while. That’ll help.”
As long as I don’t pay my rent.

AJ nodded and started tapping his fingers on the steering wheel along to a song on the radio. I watched him for a moment. We were close enough that I knew he had something to say and was debating if he should keep his mouth shut. He always tapped when he was making a decision.

It’s weird, but I loved that I knew someone so well I could tell what they were thinking. Ever since I was eight and realized I was a threat to anyone I loved, I made it a point not to stay in one place too long. You never knew who would come find you and fuck everything up.

Living in Silver Falls was the longest I’d ever stayed in one place. After losing my job, I normally would have taken off again. But I liked it here. It reminded me of my mom, I had fun in the band, and the guys were great friends, especially AJ. It was over two years past my slaughter day. As long as I could find a job, there was no reason to leave.

My phone buzzed with a text and I looked down. Oh yeah, my “boyfriend” was also here.

Nate:
Heyy babe udone ar u hpme?

Awww, a booty call. I put the phone down and looked out the window, seeing only my reflection since it was so dark.

“Let me guess, that was Nate.” AJ’s voice dripped with disapproval.

I turned back to him and grinned, hoping to lighten the mood. “What tipped you off? That it’s one forty-five in the morning?”

He stopped tapping and gripped the steering wheel. I knew he was done with his internal debate from earlier. “I don’t know why you’re wasting your time with him. You know he’s using you.”

“Of course he’s using me! I’m using him, too.” Though, he seemed to get much more out of the sex than I did.

He blew out a breath of air, and I knew I was treading on an unsafe topic. The two of us had no romantic feelings for each other, but he was pretty protective of me.

When I joined the band, it was the week before Christmas. The next day, when AJ found out that I spent the holiday eating grilled cheese and drinking cheap wine, the big brother complex had kicked in. I was a little taken aback at first but quickly grew to like it. When you’d grown up in between orphanages and foster parents you made hate you, it was kind of nice to have someone who cared.

AJ even made me a cake on my birthday. Like, he got a box of cake mix and cracked eggs and all that shit. I found an eggshell in it which was kind of gross, but it was my favorite birthday cake since my mother died. Not that I had a ton to choose from, but still.

“He couldn’t even stay to watch you play,” he muttered.

Shame burned through me. “Come on, AJ. Let’s not turn this into something it’s not. Nate and I both know what’s up.”

“I got it at first, Taylor. Really, I did. I knew you were trying to figure out if the two of you were going anywhere. I just don’t get—”

“It’s constant. He’s always there. That’s why I do it.” I turned back toward the window and closed my eyes so I wouldn’t see my sad expression in the reflection. “It’s easier that way.”

He didn’t answer. He didn’t need to. I knew he was disappointed in me.

“You’re home, babe. Want to just leave your bass?”

“Sure.” I stepped out of the car. “Thanks for the ride.”

He gave me a half-smile, the one that I’d come to know as his worried smile. “Get some sleep so you’re ready to look for jobs tomorrow, okay? None of that fuckhead Nate.”

“Got it. See you tomorrow.” I walked through the door that led to the stairs to my apartment, watching AJ’s headlights disappear as the door shut behind me.

My phone chimed.

Nate:
I wabted too see u.

I almost put the phone away, but then tapped out a message and hit send.

Taylor:
Come over.

Available Now