Bad Romeo Christmas: A Starcrossed Anthology (28 page)

"I do trust you."

"No ... you don't. You're getting hung up on some petty manufactured rivalry with Julian, and it has to stop. Julian isn't the anti-Christ. He's a nice guy, and if you can't accept that I'm not going to screw him just because you're not around, then I don't even know what to say to you right now."

"For fuck’s sake, Angel, that’s not what I –"

"No, Josh. This conversation is over. Go back to your party. I don't feel like talking to you anymore."

"Angel, wait –"

When the line goes dead, I slam my hand down on a console table next to me. "Goddammit!” I shake my head in frustration. “You fucking idiot, Kane. What the hell are doing?"

"I agree. You could have handled that better."

I spin around to see Erika sitting in a large leather armchair and sipping a drink. She looks like a Bond villain.

"Hello, Mr. Kane. Welcome to my library of solitude."

"Oh, hey." Great. Now someone other than Angel knows I'm an out-of-control asshole. "Sorry, I didn't know anyone was in here."

"Clearly. Trouble in paradise?"

I rub my eyes and sigh. "Please tell me relationships get easier over time."

"Can't do that. The best ones are the hardest, but they're also the most worthwhile." She gives me a sympathetic smile. "Would you like to join me in a drink? You look like you could use one."

I walk over and sit on the couch next to her chair. "Well, I shouldn't really drink and fly, but what the hell. Hit me."

She gets up and goes to a well-stocked drinks cart in the corner. "What can I get you?"

"What are you having?"

"A mid-life crisis. Plus, whiskey."

"Okay, I'll have a whiskey, hold the crisis. Already have one of those, and it's a doozy."

"Want to talk about it?" She pours us both generous servings then sits back down and hands me a glass. "I'm guessing Angel didn't take kindly to being told what to do."

"You heard that, huh?"

"You weren't exactly whispering."

I slump back into the couch and look down at the phone. "She's working with this guy who makes me crazy. I'm usually pretty chill, but this dude ..." I take a mouthful of whiskey and relish the burn. "I want to pummel him. A lot."

She nods in understanding. "O, beware, my lord, of jealousy. It is the green-eyed monster, which doth mock the meat it feeds on."

I look over at her. "Shakespeare, right? Othello?"

"Yes, and if you know the play, then you know jealousy leads to nothing good."

"I'm starting to see that, but I don't know how to stop it."

"Is this an ongoing issue for you? Something that's happened in other relationships?"

I laugh. "Yeah, haven't really had one before. This would be my first."

She looks surprised. "Ahh, I see. Then maybe you should take a step back from the situation? Look at it from a distance."

"How do I do that?"

She crosses her legs and leans forward. "Imagine Elissa started hanging out with a guy who was crazy for her. He flirted and bought her gifts ... made it clear he wanted more. What would you say to Liam if he asked her to stay away from him?"

"I'd say, 'Damn straight. Get that asshole out of her life as quickly as possible.'"

"But that doesn't demonstrate a lot of faith in Elissa, does it? Are you saying that if Elissa doesn't stay away from the guy, she'd inevitably cheat on Liam?"

"Of course not. Lissa loves that giant oaf more than life. She wouldn't have sex with someone else if you paid her."

"So then what difference does it make if there are people around her who want to take her bed?"

I look at her as I try to grasp the concept and apply it to my own situation. Erika tilts her head and smiles. "Do you see now why Angel was so mad? By voicing your jealousy about Julian, she thinks you're doubting her love for you."

"But I'm not. I just –"

"That's how it seems. You don't think she loves you enough to resist temptation."

"But you haven't seen this guy. You don't know how attractive he is."

"It doesn't matter. That's like saying she'd buy something from a shop because the storefront was pretty. Window dressing may be nice to look at, but it's meaningless unless she loves what's inside.

"Okay ... you may have a point."

"I'm glad you think so." She gives me a smile. "You and Angel will work through this. Give her a few minutes to cool off, then call her back."

"What if she can't forgive me?"

"Why wouldn't she?"

"Because I've been a dick to her. Up until this point in our relationship, I've managed to hide my dickish tendencies."

"You know the saying, 'Love is blind'? Well that's completely ass-backwards. Love lets you see people in perfect, crystal clarity. It doesn't make flaws invisible. It paints them in 3-D high-definition and demands you to love them anyway. Angel will forgive your dickishness, I have no doubt."

"I appreciate the vote of confidence."

She sips her drink, and up until now it hasn't occurred to me to ask why she's sitting in an empty room, drinking by herself, but there's nothing right or natural about this picture.

"So," I say. "You know all about my crisis. Want to tell me about yours?"

She leans back in the chair and crosses her legs. "That's kind of you, but I'm sure you have better things to do than listen to my troubles."

"Not really. I have a few minutes spare while I wait for my girlfriend to stop cursing my name." I take a sip of my drink. "To be honest, I'm surprised to see you're not here with anyone tonight."

"Why does that surprise you?"

"Because according to Cassie and Ethan, you're an amazing acting coach and an even more amazing person. Also, you're smoking hot. I predict you had a truckload of men offer to be your date, but instead you chose to come alone. Am I right?"

She looks down into her glass and smiles. "I'd rather be alone than with the wrong person."

"Uh huh. So why do I get the impression that the right person is here, and yet you're still by your lonesome?" When she looks at me in confusion, I say, "I might be stating the obvious here, but it's pretty clear you and Daniel Eastman want to jump each other's bones."

Her expression turns to shock. "How on earth did you ...?" She takes a mouthful of whiskey. "And I thought I was hiding my feelings so well."

"If by
well
, you mean
not at all
, then yeah. Good job."

I look at her expectantly, but she shakes her head. "Josh, I don't think you want to hear this story. It's ... complicated."

I lean forward and look her in the eye. "Erika, my best friend went through six years of hell before she got to be with the love of her life, and now because of who he is, her boobs are more famous than all the Kardashians put together. Her brother has gotten on and off the relationship rollercoaster with Cassie so many times, they both have season passes, and despite all of that, they're now the most sickeningly in-love newlyweds you've ever seen. I myself had to sleep with a metric shitton of neurotic actresses until I found the woman of my dreams, and yet I still have to endure my lady love getting paid to mack on guys who make me want to beat them with a large stick. I'm more than qualified to handle
complicated
."

She gives me a resigned look. "Okay, fine. But first you need to know some backstory. I've spent a lot of my adult life alone, and for the most part I've been okay with that. I have a fantastic house, a nice car, a job I love ... and every year I get to mentor wonderful actors who've become like family to me. Students like Cassie and Ethan. Hell, even Zoe and Jack." She runs her finger around the rim of her glass. "And I know some people think the reason I'm single is because I'm a heartless bitch who couldn't keep a man if she tried, but the truth is the only man I've ever wanted I couldn't have, so I didn't feel the need to settle."

"And that man was Daniel Eastman?"

She nods. "Back when I was in drama school, my roommate was from L.A. We quickly became best friends, and she kept raving about her boyfriend on the west coast who was trying to break into movies."

"Okay, I see where this is going."

"After a few months, Daniel came out to visit, and I'd heard so much about him from Ellie, I felt I already knew him. But even with all of her glowing descriptions, she hadn't done him justice." She takes a sip of her drink. "From the moment we met, there was this ... spark. I tried to tell myself it was just a silly crush, but I'd had crushes before, and what I felt for Daniel was in a different universe."

"Did he feel the same way?"

"At first I didn't think so, but then I noticed how often he stared at me. How he'd steal long glances, even when Ellie was talking to him. Whenever he was close, I could feel he was resisting the urge to touch me. Ellie seemed oblivious, but every time Daniel and I were in a room together, the tension between us was unbearable."

I lean back and put my arm along the back of the couch. "So, what did you do?"

"The only thing I could. I avoided him as much as possible. I loved Ellie like a sister, and she was head-over-heels for him. There was no way I was going to allow myself to lust after her man. But the feelings I had for Daniel went so much deeper than just physical attraction. We connected intellectually, spiritually, and emotionally, and each time I thought I couldn't be more attracted to him, he'd say or do something to prove me wrong." From her expression, it seems even talking about this makes her feel guilty.

"Did anything happen between you?" I ask.

She swirls the whiskey around in the glass. "Daniel and I spent nearly three years dancing around our attraction, and every time he came to visit, staying away from him became more impossible. Then, the New Year's Eve before we graduated, Ellie had tickets to attend a huge Broadway gala. On the day of the party, she had a stomach bug, so she insisted Daniel take me instead."

"Oh, jeez. Bad idea."

"The worst. The whole night was a test of our loyalty to Ellie and our self-control. Even sitting next to him at dinner was torture. I've never wanted a man so much in my life."

"I'm sure the midnight countdown was interesting, then."

She nods. "It took everything we had to not kiss each other. That was when Daniel told me he was in love with me, and he couldn't go on pretending he wasn't. After I told him I felt the same, he asked me to give him a week to end things with Ellie."

"What did you say?"

She takes a deep breath. "If I’d said yes, I would have betrayed a girl I loved like family. If I’d declined, I would have sacrificed my happiness, as well as Daniel's. So ... I told him I'd think about it." She laughs bitterly. "As it turns out, fate made the decision for us. Three days later, Ellie announced she was pregnant with his child."

"Ohhhhhh, shit."

She exhales a shaky breath. Even after all this time, it's clear the memories still cause her pain. "Daniel did the only thing he could. He asked her to marry him. A few weeks later, Ellie dropped out of drama school and moved back to L.A. to be with him. And the rest, as they say, is history."

Man, I feel so sorry for her, I take a drink on her behalf. "So you didn't keep in contact with them over the years?"

"For a while Ellie and I exchanged letters and phone calls, but it was too hard. Every time I spoke to her, all she talked about was building a life with Daniel, and even though I was happy for her, I couldn't help feeling resentful. Daniel called me just before the baby was due. He was drunk ... told me he was sorry and that he wanted things to be different." She looks down at the fringing on her dress and tries to straighten it. "After that, we saw each other on occasion, usually at events or parties, but we never spoke."

"Damn, that's cold. How could he cut you off like that?"

"It was for the best. I understood that. Daniel was a good man, dedicated to his wife and family. Neither of us wanted to ruin it."

"But now he's divorced. There's nothing keeping you apart."

She laughs. "It doesn't matter. It's too late."

I lean forward. "Bullshit. I saw how he looked at you out there. If you said the word, you could have the life you wanted with him all those years ago. A husband. Children of your own."

"Josh, I'm forty-two. I've given up on all of that."

"Women everywhere are having kids well into their forties. Why shouldn't you?"

She rubs her forehead. "It's not that easy. Daniel was with Ellie for
twenty years
. They have grown children together. Even if I could get around both of those concepts, which I can't, how would it look if Daniel came straight out of his divorce and started something with me? Ellie used to be my best friend. We may not speak anymore, but it's still a betrayal." She shakes her head, eyes downcast. "Whatever chance we had to be together is dead and gone."

We're both startled when a voice says, "Don't you think I should get a say in that?"

We look up to find Daniel standing in the doorway, and judging from his expression, he's not thrilled about what he just heard.

I move forward on the couch and prepare to stand. "Ahhh, so, that's my cue to leave."

Erika puts out her hands to stop me. "No, Josh, it's fine. Stay where you are."

I'm not sure if she wants me to stick around for moral support or because she doesn't trust herself to be alone with him, but either way, her expression doesn't inspire me to argue. Instead, I lean back and try to be as unobtrusive as possible.

When Eastman stops in front of her, Erika stands to face him. "Daniel, I'm sorry Marco dragged you here. If he'd bothered to ask me—"

He takes her glass and drains the contents before placing it on the table. "It wasn't his idea for me to come here tonight. It was mine."

"Why?"

He glances at me for a second before going back to her with a determined expression. "You know why, Erika. I've been in love with you for nearly half my life, and there hasn't been a single day during that time when I haven't thought of you. The only reason I wasn't here sooner is because Ellie signed the final papers on our divorce tonight at dinner. The second she was done, I came to you. Please don't tell me I'm too late."