Bad Romeo Christmas: A Starcrossed Anthology (24 page)

Something seizes in my chest, and it's painful as hell. "Just for the record, that person is me, right? Because if someone else is whispering to your clitoris, we're going to have words."

She laughs like it's not a totally valid question. "Yes, babe. I'm talking about you. Geez, you're so needy tonight." She hums, and I can picture her lying back, smiling as I trail kisses down her neck.

"That's because I miss you. Tell me more about this fascinating man you're saving your tongue and clitoris for."

Another hum. "He's incredible. Warm, hilarious, handsome as hell,
and
amazing in bed."

"Wow, sounds like he's the whole package." Also sounds like she's describing Julian. Not that I know what he's like in bed, but my dented ego assumes he'd be a fucking genius.

"He really is, and I adore him."

Keep breathing, Josh. She's talking about you.

I try to calm my hammering pulse.

As great as it is being so in love with this woman I can't see straight, I know damn well that loving something precious goes hand-in-hand with the irrational fear of losing it. That's the wellspring for my jealousy. Up until now, my experiences with women have been fleeting and unimportant. Primitive urges mildly satisfied. But loving Angel is like being a caveman who's finally discovered fire, and I can't stand the thought of going back to living in the dark.

I hear movement, and when she speaks again, it's softer. "I hate waking up and realizing you're not there. Sometimes I'll turn around to tell you something and have half the sentence out before I realize I'm speaking to an empty apartment. Can we not be apart any more please? It vexes me."

I smile when I hear the pout in her voice. "Well, there's nothing more tragic than a vexed Angel." Damn, I want to hold her. Kiss her. Make long, passionate love to her. I want it more than I've ever wanted anything. Even that full-size Klingon warrior when I was twelve.

I pace to release some energy. "I promise I'll make it up to you when I see you."

"And if I can't wait that long?"

"I'll Skype-sex you when I get home tonight."

"Sold." She sighs again. "Okay, you'd better go. Elissa will tear you a new butthole if you don't get in there soon."

"Yeah, I suppose."

"Take heaps of pictures, okay? I want to see what everyone is wearing. And get some pics of you as sexy James Tiberius Kirk. I'm going to print those and keep them in my spank bank for when we're apart."

Just thinking about her masturbating to images of me makes my costume get super uncomfortable in certain areas. I open my mouth to correct her about what I'm wearing but then stop. I don't know why. Maybe because she'd suspect I'm wearing this thing to boost my self-esteem like a needy little bitch.

"I love you, Josh."

Chest pain. Lots of goddamn fucking chest pain.

"I love you, too, beautiful. Can't wait until you're home. I'll call you later."

After hanging up, I walk over to the coat check station. Tonight's shindig is in The Starlight Suites, which is a collection of super swanky function rooms that take up the whole top floor of the Braxton Building. As I slip off my overcoat, the girl behind the counter hands me a ticket.

"You got somewhere to keep that ticket in your costume, sir?" Her tone makes me look up, and I find her giving me an appreciative onceover.

Okay. Never got that reaction when I was Kirk.

"Sure," I say. "Right in my jockstrap along with my dignity. Thanks."

There was a time when I'd try to charm the pants off this girl within minutes. Now, she barely registers. Being in love is doing weird things to me in many ways. I guess not all of them are bad.

As I head through the double doors, I see Elissa wasn't exaggerating when she said Marco's New Year's Eve parties were epic. The huge ballroom is teeming with people. Buffet and drink tables are set up around the room, and waiters in black ties make sure everyone's glasses remain full. As I glance around, I see the who's who of the Broadway set, including a three-time Tony-Award-Winning actor dressed as Pikachu.

Dude. And I thought my costume took balls.

People have gone all out with their costumes. One girl is in full
Avatar
mode, not wearing much more than top-to-toe blue body paint. She's laughing and flirting with a guy who's rocking a retro
Saturday Night Fever
vibe, white disco suit and all.

Yeah, that's a nightmare cleaning bill waiting to happen.

I nab a tall glass of beer from a passing waiter as I scan the crowd for Elissa. Not knowing who she's dressed as puts me at a disadvantage. It's like trying to find Waldo when he's not wearing his favorite striped T-shirt and hat.

"Well, happy New Year to me," a voice says from behind me. I turn to see a pretty blonde girl staring at me. She's not wearing a costume, just tight jeans with a T-shirt that reads,
I don't need a costume. People want to be me.

She's assessing me over the top of her champagne flute, and her glassy expression tells me it's not her first drink of the night. "And what's your name, handsome? Or are you protecting your identity from the super villains?"

I give her a smile. "No, they all have the night off."

She leans in and puts a hand on my chest. "I'm Zoe. Stevens. Perhaps you've heard of me. Most people have."

"Yeah, I know you, Zoe. We met a few months ago at Cassie and Ethan's wedding."

She pulls back, confused. "I don't think so."

"Yes, you talked to me for half an hour about how Ethan used to have a huge crush on you in drama school and now that he and Cassie were married you wanted to keep your distance, so he didn't try to relive the past."

She shakes her head. "Yeah, I remember the conversation, but I had it with a geeky guy with glasses. Not..." She looks down at my body, " ... you." She gives me a wink like she's joking, but I'm finding it hard to get a read on this chick. "So, how do you know Ethan?"

"His sister is my best friend."

She frowns. "Oh, you're gay?"

"No."

"So, you and Elissa are both straight but don't fuck? That's weird."

"We're
friends
. She'd dating Liam Quinn. You know, the movie star?"

She gives me a condescending smile. "Sure, that's what the papers are saying, but I can't see it myself."

"They were together at the wedding."

She laughs. "Yeah, right. If Liam Quinn was at that wedding, I would have been the first person to know about it. Some people have Gaydar. I have Stardar. I can sniff out a famous person at thirty paces."

"Uh huh. So you would have seen that Angel Bell was at the wedding, too."

She thinks for a second. "Oh, yeah. She was dancing with her boyfriend. Some bookish, curly-headed dude."

"Yeah, that was also me."

She stares at me for a full three seconds before bursting into laughter. "Oh, right. Of course it was. And then you ran off into a phone booth and changed into this." She giggles and takes another sip of champagne before fixing me with a deadpan expression. "But seriously, all jokes aside, are you single or not? Because we could totally have some fun together. Do you have anyone to kiss at midnight?"

Before I can answer, a guy a bit shorter than I am appears beside us in a flesh-colored bodysuit.

"Really?" he says to Zoe. "You're trying to make me jealous by flirting with this guy? How dare you use my love of superheroes against me."

I take a closer look at him. Apart from cladding his entire body in pale pink lycra, he's also wearing a mushroom-shaped hat and large pinky-brown furry slippers. What the hell?

"Go away, Jack," Zoe says with a flip of her hair. "Josh and I are having a conversation, and he's
super
hot."

Jack turns to me and holds out his hand. "Hey, man. I'm Jack."

"Yeah," I say as I shake it. "Jack Avery, right?"

He gives me an impressed smile. "Have we met? Or have you just heard of the legend that is the man?"

"The second thing. You were at Cassie and Ethan's wedding. They told me all about the gang from The Grove, but I only got to meet Zoe. Nice to finally put a face to the name. I'm Elissa's best friend."

"Oh, cool," he says, shaking my hand. "I saw Elissa and Cassie out on the dance floor before." He leans in and whispers, "Just between you and me, did those two ever hook up? Because ... hot!"

The anger that floods my system must show on my face, because he quickly drops my hand and steps back. "Sorry, dude. Just kidding. Keep your cape on."

Zoe's disdain is clear. "What the hell are you even supposed to be, Jack? Apart from an insufferable jerk?"

He gestures to himself and smiles. "I'll give you a clue. I'm the most famous thing in the world right now."

Zoe stares at him, looking unimpressed. "You know I hate guessing. Just tell me."

"I'm Liam Quinn's cock." He grins at her.

Zoe's scowl falters. "Appropriate, considering you're such a huge dick."

They glare at each other for a second more before cracking up. Then, without missing a beat, Jack pulls Zoe into a searing kiss that makes me all kinds of uncomfortable.

"I hate you," Zoe whispers. "This is the absolute last time this is happening."

Jack proceeds to suck on her neck. "That's what you said the last twenty-eight times."

"You're keeping count?"

"One of us has to."

"You're disgusting."

"One of the many reasons you find me irresistible." He pushes her back into the wall and they keep going, getting more inappropriate by the second. I look around, but no one else seems to even notice.

"Okay, then," I say. "I'm just gonna go. See you guys around."

I take a deep drink of my beer as I move through the crowd. Let's hope this isn't an indication of how this night will go.

When I pass by a group and see Marco, I almost do a spit-take. He's usually dressed impeccably, but tonight he's rocking a full Elvis ensemble, complete with a constellation of tacky-as-hell rhinestones and pompadour wig. He throws up his arms when he sees me.

"Joshua, my lad! Glad you could make it! You look wonderful."

"Hey, Marco. You look ..." I'm so unused to seeing him with hair, I'm having trouble forming words. "Elvis-y."

He raises his eyebrows and his glass. "Why, thank you. I hope you're ready for a wonderful night. I'll see you later, yes?"

I give him a chin tip and continue on my way. Standing near a table overflowing with canapés is a guy dressed as Batman talking to a tall, lanky Riddler. As I pass, we all give each other knowing nods.

Finally, I hear a distinct laugh and spot Cassie on the far side of the room. It's only the height of the people she's with that gives them away as Elissa, Liam, and Ethan. I have to admit, they all look amazing.

Ethan is dressed as John Travolta in Pulp Fiction, and Cassie is almost unrecognizable in a black wig, white shirt, and black capris. It's uncanny how much she looks like Uma Thurman's character.

Liam and Elissa look even cooler. Elissa is turning more than just Liam's head in her Black Widow costume, complete with figure-hugging leather jumpsuit and bright red hair. And judging by Liam's sleeveless vest and the bow slung on his back, he's rocking the Hawkeye look.

As I approach, they all glance at me before going back to their conversation. It's Elissa who realizes who I am first and does a double take.

"Holy crap, Josh?!"

Then they all turn, and I've never felt so awkward. It's not bad enough I feel like an imposter in this costume in the first place, now I have two guys who could play this character in a second staring at me. I feel three feet tall.

"You look amazing!" Lissa says as she throws her arms around me. "I've been looking for Captain Kirk all night. Not Superman." She pulls back and looks at my body. "Goddamn, bestie, you got huge. What the hell?"

I shrug as the others smile at me. "You told me to work on my body."

"Yeah, but I didn't expect you to actually do it. Look at you!"

I admit I'm proud of myself. In high school, the most exercise I got was running to the cafeteria on Taco Tuesday, so hitting the gym every day and sticking with it is an achievement for me.

Liam claps a giant hand on my shoulder. "You must have put in some reps to get this big, dude. I feel slack in comparison. I haven't worked out at all while I was away."

Elissa elbows him. "Now, that's not true."

Quinn smirks like the cat who ate the canary. "Babe, bench pressing you hardly counts as a workout."

Cassie steps forward and cringes. "Ew, you two. If that's code for some new, weird sexual position, I don't even want to know." The look on Elissa's face suggests it is. Cassie ignores her and gives me a hug. "Hey, Super Josh. Kind of disappointed you didn't go with the old school Christopher Reeve costume. Those red undies on the outside were hella sexy."

I nod and look down at the dark blue textured suit. I might not be as buff as Henry Cavill, but I fill it out okay. "Yeah, well, couldn't run the risk of you being all up in my business in front of Vinnie there." I point to Ethan. "He might get jealous and shoot me in the face."

Ethan gives his best Vinnie Vega impression. "You shoot
one
guy in the face, and you never hear the end of it. Typical."

I breathe a sigh of relief that they didn't laugh me out of the party. Not that my friends would do that, but old wounds linger.

When a waiter arrives with a tray of shots, I grab them and pass them around. Then I raise my glass and say, "Okay, so, let's toast." They all hold up their glasses. "To good friends, good times, and an amazing year ahead."

Elissa puts her hand on my shoulder. "And to those loved ones who can't be here tonight."

"To Angel," Liam says with a sympathetic smile.

We all take a moment, and as grateful as I am to be surrounded by my friends, a celebration of any kind feels wrong without Angel. I decide right then that when I get home, I'm booking the first flight to Australia. She may be coming home in a week, but that's a week too long without her.

We all clink glasses. "Cheers."